Yesterday, Joey Votto went 2-for-4 with his 34th homer and 14th steal. Tomorrow, the MVP. He didn’t have the biggest offensive day for all hitters yesterday, but he’s getting the lead today. Wanna know why? Cause I’ve been shot by Cupid and I love Joey Votto. True story, I walked into an ice cream parlor and asked for a Joey Votto. The guy behind the counter said, “I don’t know what you mean.” I punched him in his mouth. Here’s what I said last December, “If Votto continues to progress, you’re looking at a guy that could easily give you 32 homers, 10 steals and a .300 average. Want more? If you buy into Joey Votto for 2010, I’ll also throw in a climbing walk rate and OPS for absolutely free! Don’t want it? Who cares, it’s free!” And that’s me quoting me! Finally, know who I’m probably not going to be able to afford in 2011 drafts? Votto, my love! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jay Bruce – 3-for-4, 2 Runs, 4 RBIs and 2 homers as he lives up to his Septacular reputation. Last September, he hit 4 homers and .353 in only 34 ABs after not hitting above .258 in any other month. Had 7 homers in September of 2008. Play Bruce in the Venezuelan Winter League and he’ll win an MVP.
Derek Lowe – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks. Probably should’ve been the lead today with the game he threw yesterday. Eh, he’ll get over it. BTW, ever notice Lowe’s slogan is Let’s Build Something Together and Home Depot’s slogan is There’s Really Cheap Laborers In Our Parking Lot?
CC Sabathia – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks. On the front page of MLB’s ESPN coverage it said something like CC was chasing F-Her for the Cy Young. Someone besides Keith Law is voting for a guy with 11 wins? It would be progress, my hopes aren’t high.
James McDonald – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Nothing like pitching vs. the Mess in Metco to help a guy realize his potential.
Dillon Gee – 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. Yeah, still can’t recommend him. Was hit too hard in Triple-A for me to trust him this time of year.
Jayson Werth – 2-for-4 with his 21st homer. Assuming he stays in Philly, he’ll be undervalued next year because of a wonky RBI year he’s having. He’s hitting .098 with men in scoring position and two outs. That’s just fluky. If he plays somewhere else next year, all bets are off. Imagine he ends up in Petco. That gets The Gas Face.
Brett Myers – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks. I was actually able to pick him up in one league on Sunday. He has a 2.85 ERA on the year and he’s on waivers in a league with ‘perts. Makes little sense.
Matt Lindstrom – Got the save yesterday with Lyon pitching the previous 4 days. I don’t think it’s anything more than that but — and there’s always a but unless you’re an alien — Lyon did get hit the other day. They could share some saves down the stretch.
Chris Narveson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks. He had a 2.48 ERA post-All-Star Break last year in 36 1/3 IP, most of which was in September.
Coco Crisp – 1-for-4 with 2 steals. Gotta love a guy who gets more steals than the times he’s on base. I can’t wait for the epilogue of Moneyball: The Movie when the white letters fade up over a black screen and reads, “Or throw out everything that came before this and steal some bases…” BTW, you know how you look up something in Google and end up on a 3 hour odyssey that always leaves you off in YouTube looking at funny kitten videos? That’s what happened to me when I Googled “Moneyball” + Coco Crisp. I knew he hadn’t appeared in the book (unless it was in the Acknowledgments where Lewis professed his love for the breakfast cereal). I was trying to get a grasp on people’s current thoughts on Moneyball. I think the emperor has no clothes, but I didn’t need Google to find out what I thought. I just needed to bang my head against my wall until my brain started working. If Michael Lewis wrote a book about me — say Razzballball: The Art of Wasting Time — he could make me sound like a hero. That’s how Michael Lewis do.
Brian Matusz – After being hit with a comebacker, Buck Showalter lifted Matusz from the game. Weird, cause Showalter doesn’t even look that strong. Matusz will be reevaluated today.
Brian Roberts – 2-for-4 until he was hit by a pitch and had to leave the game. Balls 2, O’s Brians zero. Roberts has actually been more productive than I thought he would in his return. I’m not a huge fan of old guys who rely on their legs, but Roberts may be a steal in next year’s draft. Pardon the pun, I’m lazy.
Evan Meek – Will get some save chances along with Hanrahanananan, according to John Russell, who is the Pirates manager, not the Christian name for a Jack Russell terrier.
Ryan Kalish – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in the last week (also has 2 steals) and is hitting around .350. Took a bit for him to find his footing, but keep in mind that he’s a solid prospect with 20/20 ability over a full season. Could be this year’s Rasmus next year, clear?
Jon Lester – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks. Now has 208 Ks in 190 IP. *Grey drools*
Yunesky Maya – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks. Maya culpa for even suggesting you watch this guy. Know there’s something in that arm of his because of the success he had in Cuba, but right now you obviously can’t start him anywhere.
Nick Swisher – He pinch hit yesterday, but he’s supposed to have an MRI on his knee today and will probably be out at least a few games. My guess is he won’t play until the weekend and even when he returns, he’ll probably be nursed like a big baby sucking on Billy Butler’s moobs.
Logan Morrison – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer and has now reached base in 33 straight games. Hello, I Love You.
Barry Enright – 3 IP, 5 ER. About four starts ago, I said, “Don’t believe the magic, Enright’s getting by on smoke and mirrors.” Therefore he doesn’t exist, so poof…vamoose son of a bitch!
David Price – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. Was there any offense yesterday? Why couldn’t all my hitters face Uncle Barry Enright?
Jaime Garcia – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks. Last game, he got sabotaged, shellshocked, rocked and ruled. Day in the life of a fool. Overall, really hard to be too down on a rookie who is still under a 3 ERA in September.
Albert Pujols – 0-for-3, admitted to elbow discomfort, but said, “There’s no DL in September.” Though there is in calendar.