Sounds like Ike Davis is done for the year. He could be facing microfracture ankle surgery. Man, will the Mets ever catch a big break? First, Beltran had microfracture surgery on his knee, and now Davis. What’s with the Mets and tiny surgery? Can’t the Mets find a normal-sized doctor? Microsurgery is the 101 class if you’re going to be a surgeon. Macrosurgery is the 102 class. That’s a little known fact — literally! For fantasy purposes, just think, now you have more room on your DL. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Beachy – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks. That’s one for the Brandon Beachy Memoirs. Now if only he’d stop looking up his cousin’s dress.
Dan Uggla – 1-for-4 with his 10th home run. I’ll take bets that he gets to 25 home runs, but not that he gets to .230. Anyone want some action? I’m not talking betting action. Come here and sit on Uncle Grey’s lap.
Jose Bautista – Hit his 22nd home run. See, my gentle prodding of his miserable June paid off for his owners. Now I will return to my Bautista dormancy where I am an RA.
Jo-Jo Reyes – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER. He’s such a peg boy!
Shaun Marcum – Left the game after reaggravating his hip and his owners. He says he’ll be fine for his next start. We’ll see. Or not. Your choice.
Travis Wood – Sent down to Triple-A. All they have to do is send down Votto and Bruce and their AAA club will be the better team.
Joel Hanrahan – Got his 20th save yesterday, which is a feat because he pitches for the Pirates. It usually takes until end of August before they have 20 saves as a team. Hanrahanananananan’s ERA/WHIP is 1.31/0.96 and he has 30 Ks in 34 IP. Sorry, Mr. Peralta, but you’re looking at the best reliever named Joel in the majors!
Kevin Correia – Got his 9th win of the year – making him the most successful Pirate this year outside of the Somali coast.
Neftali Feliz – 2/3 IP, 4 ER and his 4th blown save. Now has 19 Ks to 15 walks in 28 innings. He’s not getting replaced any time soon, but something is up with him. Wouldn’t be surprised to see another DL stint from him this summer.
Adrian Gonzalez – Hitting .359 on the year and he went 4-for-4 against his old team. Who’s your Padre, San Diego!?
Clayton Richard – 5 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks in Fenway. That’s exactly what Vegas projected for Richard. Oh, wait, they projected 1 inning, 5 runs, 10 baserunners.
Albert Pujols – Love this ESPN title yesterday, “Pujols Feels Healthy Aside From Fracture.” Yeah, and Willie McGee felt beautiful except for his face.
Jorge Posada – Hit his 7th home run– Psych! I’m not talking about him because then I’ll gonna get inundated with catcher questions. “No, thank you,” says Grey as he splashes on his Drakkar.
Freddy Garcia – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks. Here’s something bonkers. On Rudy’s AL-Only team, his staff is Hellickson, Hughes, Garcia, Coke, Britton, Fister and Baker. Has a 3.58 ERA / 1.27 WHIP. If you drafted that staff in the beginning of the year with high hopes, I’d say you were just high. Goes to show you, no one knows anything, William Goldman.
Torii Hunter – Double I left yesterday’s game after crashing into the wall. He has bruised ribs. The wall has a strained oblique.
Ryan Vogelsong – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks. Now has a 1.73 ERA. Last year Colby Lewis returned from Japan with great results. This year it’s Vogelsong. Konichiwa, Fausto Carmona!
Ty Wigginton – On Monday morning, I said Wigginton hit a home run on Sunday and now his over/under for the week is 3. Yesterday, he hit two home runs. Still taking the under?
Erik Bedard – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks. I have no doubts of his ability if he stays healthy. However, that ‘if’ is the size of the car that was used to take Shirley Hemphill and Fred Berry to the set.
Jonny Gomes – Hit a home run yesterday. That’s all you need to know. He gets about as crazy hot as Wigginton when he’s going right. Has 9 homers now. Might have 16 before he goes cold again. I added him in any daily leagues where I could (can’t trust him to play every day for weekly leagues).
Chris Heisey – 3-for-5, 4 runs, 5 RBIs and 3 home runs as he became the 207th player this year to hit 3 homers in a game. Only a slight exaggeration. Before this game, he was one for the last week. I really like Heisey, but in Dusty Baker’s book titled, “OBP Stands For Oh B**** Please,” his 3rd chapter is, “Why Play Three Outfielders When Five Will Do?” says all you need to know about Hesiey. So unless Dusty goes with a short center fielder it’s hard to own Heisey outside of deep daily leagues where you can move him in and out of the lineup.
Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Sonavabench!
Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks in Metco. After the game, Gio said he’d love to pitch for the Mets one day or against them every day.
Jake Peavy – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks. But at least he wasn’t injured. Baby steps, Bob, baby steps.
Ian Kennedy – 6 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. Don’t need to see the Zapruder film of all of Kennedy starts to know that he’s not a 2.90 ERA pitcher. He shouldn’t completely collapse, but c’mon.
Ted Lilly – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. One of the more disappointing guys we own. In Dodgers Stadium, this guy should have a 3.20-ish ERA. Then he gets 8 Ks and only walks one yesterday, which isn’t bad…Ugh, he’s pretty unstartable right now. Lilly, you’ve gilded me for the last time!
Matt Kemp – 3-for-3 and he’s already at 20/20. Now I see what Rihanna saw in him. He’s damn sexy!
Jonathan Broxton – Mattingly said Broxton will be the loser when he returns. Oops, Freudian slip! Mattingly must be looking through the rear view mirror to see the Broxton of the 1st half of 2010. I guess it’s true — objects in the rear view mirror are better Closers than they appear.