Daniel Murphy and Juan Nicasio are both out for the year – an undeserving fate that would merely be humane for the Astros (note: the Astros can go .500 for the final 48 games and they’d still lose 101 games – on the bright side, they have a magic number of 4 to best the 1962 Mets). Murphy tore his MCL making that two season-ending leg injuries for Met 1Bs (Ike Davis fractured his ankle). Hopefully Keith Hernandez doesn’t get a hip flexor applying Just for Men on his moustache. While Murphy has yet to show much power in the majors, a .320 average with 1B/2B/3B eligibility provided value in just about any league. Murphy’s MCL tear was a scrape compared to Nicasio who fractured a vertebrae in his neck after taking an Ian Desmond comebacker on the cabeza. He’s still being monitored for internal bleeding as I type but hopefully he has a healthy recovery.
On to more trivial, less cranial news…
Tim Lincecum - Snapped the Phillies’ 9 game winning streak (and an awful 1-8 stretch for the Giants) with a solid 7 2/3 IP, 8 baserunners, 1 ER, 5 K start. Ryan Howard just missed splashing McCovey Cove by a couple feet on several occasions. Those couple feet were between the ball and Howard’s flailing bat.
Roy Oswalt – Attention all catchers named Siegfried…the two Roys are together again in Philadelphia! Oswalt’s first start off the DL was not very inspiring – 6 IP, 14 baserunners, 3 ER. He’s a crafty enough pitcher to keep a respectable ERA despite mediocre stuff (5.3 K/9 this year) but he’s the 5th best starter on the Phillies right now after Vance Worley. Consider him a matchup play in mixed leagues.
Jose Reyes - Stole 2 bases in Saturday’s game and left Sunday’s game early with a mild hamstring pull. Probably going on the 15-day DL again. He’s like George Costanza except he flies too close to the sun on wings of bad hammy instead of pastrami.
Michael Young - Got his 2,000th hit in the Rangers 5-3 win against Cleveland. The Rangers congratulated him and gave him a plaque saying “Best 2B/SS/3B/DH Ranger Ever”.
Johnny Giavotella - Alcides Escobar is now the veteran of the Royals IF as rookie Giavotella is taking over for Chris Getz at 2nd base. While he sounds more like a Real World/Road Rules Challenge participant than a ballplayer, he was hitting .338 with 9 HRs and 9 SBs in AAA this year. In three games, Giavotella has 2 doubles, 1 HR, and 1 SB – which is about a month’s worth of power from Chris Getz (6 doubles, 0 HRs, 351 ABs). Worthy of a pickup in all league formats if you need MI help.
Jason Kipnis – A slam and legs weekend after last weekend’s 2 HR weekend. The Cab-n-Kip show is the best middle infield show in Cleveland since Alomar y Omar.
Brett Lawrie - Finishing off the rookie infielder block, Lawrie allegedly hit his first major league HR on Sunday against Alfredo Simon of the Orioles. Alfredo Simon denies the allegations.
Ervin Santana - Won his 4th straight start, holding* the Mariners to 1 ER in 8 1/3 IP (* as opposed to the Mariners exploding for 3 runs). And, unlike Jered Weaver, he’s managed not to throw at anyone’s head.
Todd Frazier – Deep goes Frazier! The ex-Rutgers star and member of the Toms River (NJ) Little League World Championship squad hit his 3rd HR in the past 6 games. He’s making the most out of injuries to Scott Rolen and Juan Francisco. Hopefully Dusty doesn’t get too tempted to bench him for the veteran Miguel Cairo.
Ian Kennedy - Kennedy won his 6th straight start over the weekend even though he only struck out 3 batters in 7 IP (after averaging 7 Ks in his last 4 starts). That’s 14 Wins now for Kennedy with two months left in the season. Or 10 more wins than Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain have on the season if you’re a bitter Yankee fan.
Mark Reynolds – 2 solo HRs against the Blue Jays. He’s now up to 26 HRs with a .222 AVG – 19 of those HRs coming after June 1st. The way things are going this year, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the start of a 20+ game hitting streak.
Jorge Posada - It must be another Red Sox – Yankee series as Joe Girardi has demoted Jorge Posada again. He’s now part-time DH against RHPs. Luckily, Posada actually showed up to the game this time. Meanwhile, Brian Sabean is having fantasies where he’s playing Patrick Dempsey in Loverboy with Jorge Posada in the role of an anchovy pizza-lovin’ MILF.
Mat Latos – Beat the reeling Pirates with a 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 K start. He has 38 Ks and 10 BBs in his last 39 2/3 IP. That’s at least 1.5 WAHP – Wins Against Hodgepadre.
Jake Peavy – An 8 inning win at Minnesota on Sunday, only giving up 3 hits. It’s clear that a country boy like Peavy prefers the wide open fields of Minnesota or San Diego to the crammed urban spaces like they have in Chee-cago.
Alex Rios - 5-9 over the weekend with 2 doubles, a HR, and a SB. Congrats to all of you last place teams who haven’t checked your rosters in the last 2 months as you’re the only ones that benefited from this Halley’s Cometesque outburst.
Prince Fielder – 3 for 4 with a HR, 4 Runs, and 2 RBIs against the Astros. Now has 85 RBIs which is 2 more than he had all of last year in 177 more ABs. Whomever follows him in Milwaukee will have tough shoes and extremely tough pants to fill.
Dan Uggla – The hitting streak is up to 28 games and he’s now hit 6 HRs in his last 9 games. Uggla has always been streaky but this hitting streak is crazy given his penchant for K-ing and he had a .173 average while watching July 4th fireworks. Some may argue regression or luck but here’s my theory. A single father invested his life savings in a high-stakes fantasy baseball league. Things looked bleak because he owned both Dan Uggla and Adam Dunn. Shamed and despondent, he killed himself on July 4th and left his baby to Dan Uggla and Adam Dunn out of spite. The two players fought over the baby until the ghost of Solomon appeared. He suggested they cut the baby in half – with each player getting 50% of the baby. Before even asking whether the suggested incision would be horizontal or vertical in nature, Uggla protested and Solomon awarded him the baby. Dunn shrugged and walked off to take a glug from the local water tower. Uggla sold the baby on the black market for three fetuses’ (fetii?) worth of stem cells then chowed them down like he was Bartolo Colon and the stem cells were either stem cells or Big Macs. It’s just a theory.