The Braves should totally give Derrek Lee the number 01 and paint him orange.  Too bad Waylon Jennings isn’t around anymore to announce him when he comes up to bat.  Lee-haw!  The Cubs received back Tyrelle Harris, who I believe is a male model, Robinson Lopez, who dispenses candy from his neck, and Jeffrey Lorick, who owns the Marlins.  Derrek Lee has hit 4 homers in his last four games and his numbers should only continue to trend upwards as we head into the home stretch.  I could see him getting to 24 homers on the year; he’s at 16.  Do the math!  The real LUZR in this is Troy Glaus, who the Braves put on the DL with a severe case of We-Don’t-Want-To-Play-You-Anymore-itis.  It’s curable, but you usually need a new team.  Kelly Johnson had a similar malady when he played for the Braves.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Xavier Nady – 1-for-3 as he played 1st base yesterday, but Micah Hoffpauir was recalled.  Hip-hip-Hoffpauir!  Not really.  I wouldn’t pick him up in any league until I saw him start hitting.

Clayton Richard – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks as he gave the Cubs a little “How’s your father?”  If only I owned only Padres pitchers on all of my teams.  I love you, Hodgepadres.  Please friend me on Facebook!

B.J. Upton – 2-for-4 with 2 steals and a homer.  As frequent commenter, Brad, pointed out when he quoted my top 20 outfielder rankings, “B.J. Upton’s definitely shown he can’t be relied on for 20 homers, but you can count on him for 40 steals and 10 homers.”  And that’s me quoting Brad quoting me!  Right now, B.J.’s at 66/11/43/.240/35, and has been more valuable than broseph, Justin.

Evan Longoria – 3-for-4 with two doubles and a homer.  A la your 4th grade teacher, “Nice of you to join us, Mr. Longoria.”

Juan Pierre – 4-for-5, 2 steals.  When you put ‘Juan Pierre’ into Google, it says ‘Did you mean SAGNOF?’

Gavin Floyd – In his last 12 innings, he’s given up 13 runs.  Not good, but both were against the Twins and he gets the O’s next.  I’d give him one more shot in most leagues.

David Wright – Left yesterday’s game feeling queasy.  Or QUEASY! if you’re George Jefferson.

J.P. Arencibia – The Jays optioned him back to the minors.  John Buck is such a prospblock.

Taylor Teagarden – 2-for-4 with his 4th homer in his last 8 games.  Those 8 games, unfortunately, date back 3 weeks.  The other day I grabbed Teagarden in a 2 catcher league, but he needs more consistent playing time for most leagues.

Matt Tuiasosopo – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in two games.  For deity sakes, this guy needs a nickname if he’s going to keep hitting.  I wouldn’t touch him yet in mixed leagues, but in AL-Only leagues I’d grab him.

Joe Blanton – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Solid start from the inconsistent Blanton, which is thankfully different than incontinent.  He gets the Astros in his next start, that’s a decent gamble.

Jimmy Rollins – 3-for-5, with a homer and two steals.  Wait, I know this impersonation… Um… 2007 Rollins, right?  Nice!

Matt Cain – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, but 5 unearned runs for the momentarily gut-wrenching ticker shock.

Aroldis ChapmanReds committed to calling up Chapman on September 1st.  Makes sense, but doesn’t add much to his value since he’ll be out of the bullpen.  Definitely grab him in keepers though.

Joe Mauer – 4-for-5 and his 8th homer.  Still hasn’t hit more than 3 homers in any month, but is hitting .472 in August.

Curtis Granderson – He was days away from appearing in Friday’s Sell as a guy to drop, but now he’s hit his 3rd homer in five games.  Maybe this time he can keep his hot streak going longer than a week.

Matt Kemp – I pimped out my merkin for this guy and then Torre benches him again?  Okay, this is gotta stop, or Kemp needs to be playing in 7 PM EST games so I don’t have guys on my bench that are actually playing.

Alberto Callaspo – Had the slam & legs while hitting third yesterday and is batting over .400 in the last week.  He doesn’t give much except hits, but there ya go.

Jay Bruce – 4-for-5 with his 12th homer.  He’s now officially as valuable this year as Corey Patterson.  As I’ve said before about Pablo Sandoval and my female neighbor, “What a bust!”

Edinson Volquez – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Way too inconsistent at this point to be relied on anywhere.

Mike Napoli – Hit his 20th homer.  Now bench him, you Sciosciapath.

Michael Wuertz – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  That huertz.  Bailey’s set to begin a rehab assignment on Friday and should be back soon thereafter, barring any setbacks.

Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-3 with 2 homers.  Sticking with the variations on the name Michael theme, is Miggy drafted number three next year?  Two?  One?  Talk amongst yourselves.

Ryan Doumit – 1-for-4 with a homer.  First homer in over a month, but could be the start of something going forward.

Brad Hawpe – As Hawpe leaves the Rockies’ clubhouse for the last time, Bob Apodaca will be playing the world’s smallest harp, which is still 2 feet tall, but that’s small for a harp.  When Hawpe reaches the parking lot, he’ll turn back and hear noisemakers.  As the last line of my top 80 outfielder rankings says, “Get rid of Hawpe!”  I’ve been asking for the Rockies to release Hawpe for almost two years now.  Finally, we get our sweet, sweet outfield of upside.

Carlos Gonzalez – Was so excited about the Hawpe news, he ran into a wall.  The Rockies remind me of the Rangers.  Wonderful upside, difficulty staying healthy.  Hopefully he’s CarGone only a day or two.

Coco Crisp – 3-for-3 with the slam & legs.  Coco’s been loco.  Seriously, grab him in your leagues before someone else does.  This blurb was paid for by the committee to get Coco Crisp on your team.

Lorenzo Cain – 2-for-3 with his 2nd steal as he bets near .400 in his first 13 games in the majors.  If you need cheap speed in a deep league, look no further.

Randy Wolf – 8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks.  After the game, Wolf announced he was Team Jacob.  So predictable.

Trevor Hoffman – Got a save.  Brewers announced on their next homestand all fans would be able to enjoy “Free Whatever Crap We Have Lying Around That Commemorates Hoffman Getting 600 Saves” night.  They’re following the Angels’ lead from a few years back when they had a huge success with “Tim Salmon’s Going To Play One More Stupid Game So Come To The Ballpark” night.

  1. Eric says:

    hai grey,

    please rank the following pitchers for the rest of this year:

    Daniel Hudson, Jonathon Niese, RA Dickey, Edinson Volquez.

  2. Eric says:

    oops also throw Bronson Arroyo onto that list thx!

  3. Eddy says:

    Is there a source for Wright’s “queasiness”? That’s a pretty severe case if it includes some limping like he was doing.

  4. Black Beard says:

    Figgins, Raburn or Desmond at MI (+OPS) the rest of the way?

  5. JackInTheBox says:

    Is Edinson unreliable? Yes, as much as any 4th/5th fantasy starter is. I mean you gotta check the matchups, but the guy did just pitch three 1 ER games in a row and that’s nothing to sneeze at.

  6. @JackInTheBox: What matchups would you look for? He did well against Atlanta; dropped a stinker against Arizona. Silences the Rockies, but gives up 6 runs in 2 innings against Washington.

    I don’t mind picking matchups for my 4th/5th starter, but it needs to be fairly predictable when I should and shouldn’t start him.

  7. Ho Grey … if I’m most in need of AVE and SB, who do you like better between Cain, Kalish, and Eric Young. This is in a 20-team one-year roto league.

    And in the same league: would you start Beckett at home against the Angles? I needs wins and ratio help more than Ks.

  8. That was supposed to be “Hi Grey”; not “Ho Grey”. I’m on a borrowed computer.

  9. barker says:

    to grey and everyone — kinda need a quick response
    shallow 20 teamer hlds ops as extra stats

    in order to activate nyjer morgan for today i need to drop a player
    pelfry takahashi b wallace d hudson hellickson

    current RP benoit c perez storen axford takahashi
    current SP De la rosa J santana kershaw hellickson pelfry hudson vasquez
    current 1b/3b huff cuddyer raburn zobrist
    of braun soriano matsui raburn

    im thinking pelfry or wallace right??

  10. The Ghost of Doc Ellis says:

    Dominic Brown goes yard after I drop him.
    No Daiquiri for you!
    Admittedly, I would have been sonuvabenched anyway…

  11. woodrow wilson says:

    Morgan or Bourn for OF Bench spot? H2H league so I’ll be using them when chasing steals later in the week only.

  12. Wilsonian says:

    I know your answer, and I hope you don’t bitchslap me, but I’m like a little kid and I have to push my limits…

    Is Matt Kemp *GASP* droppable in an 8 Team H2H league? There are too many guys producing on the WW to sit here and idly watch him single handedly sink my team.

  13. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Black Beard: gotta go desmond imo. he’s been hot lately, and could be a case of a young guy really starting to hit his grove in the majors.

  14. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    When I was considering Volquez for a spot-start the other day, I wrote, “but he ain’t exactly the poster boy for reliability”. But then you responded, “I’d go with Volquez”. But now today you write, “Way too inconsistent at this point to be relied on anywhere.” *angry face emoticon*

    I’ll expect a daiquiri in the mail… be sure to pack it with some dry ice.

  15. anon says:

    Drop Hunter or Span for Crisp?

  16. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    Of course, the other spot-start option I gave you was Guthrie, who gave up 5 earned in 8 IP to the M’s, so there’s that… but you and your crystal ball should have just told me to skip the spot-start for the day.

  17. Howard says:

    Hi Grey, Is Barmes droppable at this point? or Guillen? No room on the DL and WW has only the “guy who needs a nickname” and Brignac.

  18. p0rk burn says:

    Wow, tough crowd today Grey.

    Matt Tuiasosopo’s brother was our stud QB at UW while I was in college. If this were this discussion would be about rockstar college QBs washing out of the NFL, but I digress. The only nickname we ever came up with for Marques was Tui. That’s all I got for you.

    Also, that family has something like 7 kids that are all filthy at sports. Allegedly part of Marques’ demands to play for the school was that they hook up the rest of his family with scholarships. I don’t know if thats true, but his other little brother was on scholarship and enjoyed drunkenly smashing windows on parked cars. True story.

    Ah, to be young again.

  19. Jeff says:

    12 team 5 x 5 roto keeper league

    I have Rivera, Cordero, and Valverde as my RP’s (we start 3)

    I have CC, Ubaldo, Lester, Danks, Nolasco, Gio, Morrow, Sanchez, Pavano and Hellickson as my SP’s (we start 6)

    Owner of Papelbon is willing to deal him. Would he be an upgrade for me at RP? Is so, which SP would be a fair trade for him?

  20. mapwheel says:

    Matt Tuiasosopo – Can we call him “The ‘po” ? I got nothin else. Plus, I dunno if he is cool enough to pull it off, but hey, that’s The ‘po for you.

  21. NoEmoJoe says:

    Pelfrey (@ PIT) or Duensing (vs LAA) for a stream start tomorrow?

  22. Mr2Bits says:

    Grey : Would you lose E. Volquez for a stream like Mark Buehrle, Andy Sonnanstine or Pat Misch?

    If no, would you lose him for Small game James Shields as he’s floating on the waiver wire?

  23. Mr2Bits says:


    True on the 1ER but his WHIP is outrageous. Last night showed his lack of control. 24 walk to 35 k’s while getting rocked in between is not a good 4th or 5th starter.

  24. Marcum and Orlando Hudson for Colby Lewis and Felipe Lopez? It’s basically Marcum and Hudson for Lewis. I wanted to get Lewis’s start today against the O’s and I’m scared of Marcum’s start against the Red Sox. Am I giving up too much?

  25. CoreyII says:

    who would you go with at 2B for the near future? Eric Young, Raburn, or Desmond?

  26. CoreyII says:

    @CoreyII: And its a H2H league, so no real need to focus on one category over another.

  27. Oregon Nut Cups

    Oregon Nut Cups says:

    Just absolutely love going on a 5 day internet-less vacation not knowing when Michael Young nor Carlos Gonzalez will be back in the lineup.

  28. Commish Cauda says:

    Seth Smith or Ryan Kalish?

  29. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @CoreyII: young for SBs/Rs, desmond for all-around productivity.

  30. Commish Cauda says:

    Correction…now with Hawpe waived…

    Fowler, Seth Smith or Ryan Kalish the rest of the way?

    H2H-POINTS League

  31. Commish Cauda says:

    @CoreyII: I agree with Poon.

  32. Suave Miguel says:

    How would you rank Gardner, Crisp, and EYJ? Need SB and AVG. Thanks!

  33. struggler says:

    Regretfully, it seems like this question is going to come up every week. Start or sit:
    DLR @ LA (gets killed by LA)
    Sanchez @ PHI (kills Philly)

    And one more poo-poo out of DLR and he gets dropped for:
    A. Duensing
    B. Bailey
    C. Bum-G

  34. royce! says:

    Tuiasosopo…all I can think of is sosopo, “so soapy,” “so fresh, so clean.” But there are very many players as dope as ‘sosopo.

    I also feel like I’ve been waiting for an eternity for the Rockies to shed an OF. Now that it’s happened, what do you think the lineup will look like now, assuming that CarGo is going to be okay? Do Spillborghs or Smith or both get full time jobs? What’s got me confused is that by adding EY Jr., they are back in the same place–they have 5 OF for 3 spots (CarGo, Spills, Smith, Fowler, and EY Jr.).

  35. For deity sakes – 2E.

  36. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Eric: Niese, Dickey, Hudson…

    @Eddy: Geoff Blum farted.

    @Black Beard: Desmond, Raburn…

    @Enrique: Young… I wouldn’t own Beckett if I weren’t stating him there.

    @Enrique: Ho yourself.

    @barker: Wallace

    @woodrow wilson: Bourn

    @Wilsonian: Nope

    @Awesomus Maximus: Sorry, drinks on me.

    @anon: Span

    @Howard: Barmes

    @p0rk burn: Ha… Nice story. Tui’s weak, hopefully he fades into oblivion so it’s not even an issue. What nationality is it? Hawaiian?

    @Jeff: I don’t see the point to that trade.

    @mapwheel: Eh

    @NoEmoJoe: Pelfrey

    @Mr2Bits: Shields

    @Frank Kim: Didn’t you already ask about this trade? Looks okay.

    @CoreyII: Agree with others.

    @Oregon Nut Cups: Sounds Oregony.

    @Commish Cauda: Kalish

    @Commish Cauda: Fowler for speed, Kalish otherwise.

    @Suave Miguel: Crisp for now…

    @struggler: I’d start both. Bailey if he has another good outing.

    @royce!: Young’s at 2nd, they seem done with Barmes.. They’re down to four OFs now. Spils and Smith continue to platoon.

    @zombie: I like that.

    @royce!: I like that better. Baby Tui, hehe.

  37. royce! says:

    @Grey: So in a weekly changes league, Smith is only worth starting if the Rockies are facing righties for the whole week?

  38. hoju says:

    Axford would’ve got the save last night if it weren’t for some errors that loaded the bases. How do I handle him for the rest of the year? He’s been pretty much lights out so I can’t see him losing the job, but 600 is getting in the way.

    Here are my wavier options to replace Axford if I need to (my other closer is Perez):


    I have a sinking feeling that I’m going to lose in the playoffs because of this. Goddammit.

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @royce!: Assuming that’s how the Rockies play them, which I think it will be. Contingent on how long CarGo’s out too.

    @hoju: I’d hold for now if that many saves guys are available.

  40. Bostonbeerman says:

    Anyone running Cahill out there vs The Rays? I benches him so here comes another no hitter.

  41. p0rk burn says:

    @Grey: American born Samoan.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Bostonbeerman: At this point, you have to start him.

    @p0rk burn: Not that pithy of a nickname– Oh! His nationality, yeah, makes sense.

  43. Tom Emanski says:

    I’m with Coco. No seriously, I’m having his baby.

  44. bravo says:

    I’ve got 4 pitchers starting today, please choose the ones that have the best chance for a W, low ERA and low WHIP. I need to cut down on IP so I need starts that are most efficient. Even then, I’m thinking first 3…

    Pavano vs CWS
    Hamels vs SF
    Lilly vs COL
    E. Santana @ BOS

  45. emceeperiod says:

    Would you drop Soo-Choo-Choo for Crispy Clean? Or Yung Delmon or Rubix Kubel? Or Natty KEMP!??! Or Brian Roberts (nickname pending)(also, just got Pedroia the Exploia back).

    Thanks Dude!

  46. Wilsonian says:

    With Utley off the DL and hopefully *fingers crossed* hits like th 2008 Utley from here on out, is Weeks droppable for any of the following:

    LaRoche, Pods, Coco* OR

    Dickey, Cueto, Floyd, Hi-May, Ervin, Floyd, D. Hudson, Hanrahan, Lyon

    *If I picked up an offensive guy, it would be for UTIL only as Weeks will either be there on my bench

  47. yankees2010 says:

    I had dropped Damon for D. Murphy but now I am considering picking up Crisp instead. I would imagine it would depend on my need (Speed vs. Pop), but I figured I would ask to see what you thought. Speed might be desirable with that bag of crap Figgins clogging up my 2B Hole.

    I also picked up Lyon on the advice of the Yahoo notes only to see Lopez or whatever his name is enter the game with the “Ass”tros leading by one over the Hapless ones! WTF!

    Thanks much Grey.

  48. brad says:

    berkman disgraced. i guess it was only a matter of time.

  49. Jeff says:

    Was offered Utley, A. Soriano and Gregg for Youkilis and Brantley.

    16 team 5×5 roto keeper league. I’m in 9th place, about 10 pts out of the money. Is it worth giving up Youkilis (12th round value) to take my very limited shot at getting into the money? I might be able to gain about 8 pts total, but unrealistic to get much more than that. So I would need to bank on the guys ahead of me dropping a couple points. (Utley, Soriano and Gregg would not be keeper possibilities for me)

  50. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Grey: Lesson learned…

  51. Black Beard says:

    @ThePoonTycoon: @Grey: Thanks guys. Figure it’s time to reassess since Figgins hasn’t give me anything for…pretty much the whole season now. Swell.

  52. Casey Blake's Beard says:

    Hi Grey,

    Roto, 5X5, 2 catcher league. With Arencibia going to AAA, here are my pathetic choices:

    Ramón Castro, John Jaso, Jonathan Lucroy, Ryan Doumit, Bobby Wilson, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Kelly Shoppach, Koyie Hill

    With Berkman going to the DL, I could bench Arencibia in case he comes back up. Any point to me benching him?


  53. royce! says:

    How would you rank:

    Duensing v. LAA
    Bumgarner @ STL
    Westbrook v. SF
    Burnett v. SEA
    Jurrjens @ CHC
    Jackson @ KC
    Padilla v. CIN

  54. royce! says:

    Okay, how about:

    Duensing v. LAA
    Bumgarner @ STL
    Westbrook v. SF
    Jackson @ KC
    Padilla v. CIN

  55. Grey

    Grey says:

    @royce!: Westbrook, Padilla…

  56. second says:

    I have Chris Johnson at 3b and it seems that his hot streak is coming to an end. Should I try Vlad for Michael Young? Or just drop Johnson for someone like Headley, Betemit, Hall, Alvarez, Gordon, Walker? Or hold tight?

  57. royce! says:

    Rototimes on Feliz to STL: “There’s nothing better to kick-start a struggling offense than a corner infielder who put up a .555 OPS while playing his home games in a bandbox.”

  58. royce! says:

    @Grey: Sweet, thanks.

  59. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Grey: No, I think I learned a lesson… no, that’s not right. Maybe your crystal ball learned a lesson? I forget. As long as the drinks are on you… that’s what’s important.

  60. Grey

    Grey says:

    @second: Grab Alvarez.

    @royce!: Seems a bit optimistic.

    @Awesomus Maximus: Maybe we both learned a lesson to learn a lesson.

    ********THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS.********

  61. barker says:

    10 team h2h need replacement for rasmus in CF

    dont have to drop him b/c lindstrom on the dl now

    but anyway gardner (on waivers) rajai davis coco crisp tabata
    whatdya say grey

  62. @Grey: Actually I guess I did kind of ask you before. Sorry to bother you. But thanks as always. :-)

  63. hey Grey…..just wanted to drop you a line….stumbled onto your site this year and look foward to reading your articles every day. my older brother got me into a fantasy league last year and it really has got me back into baseball for the first time in years. needless to say i had a lot of catching up to do since i only knew a handful of players last year…lol….but i still nearly made the playoffs.

    this year iv done a lil better but your lil tidbits have been a big help. thanks and keep the jokes a comin.

    by the way i have naploli in a 29 team keeper 6X6 up and down ..with 6 starters….3 sonofabenchers…and 3 nobody wants to own.. league. should I keep him or try to trade him for slipper jones……inquiring minds want to know…..bless ya….sorry a bit wordy….keep on writing!

    the rat bastard

  64. Grey

    Grey says:

    @barker: Gardner

    @Frank Kim: No problem.

    @the rat bastard: Thanks for the kind words! Don’t trade for Glass Chipper.

    ********THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS.********

  65. Doug E. Fresh says Stop Lying... says:

    I Googled Juan Pierre and it didn’t say SAGNOF. The first that come up was”2010: 1 HR, .273 BA, 47 SB”… wait, that’s SAGNOF.

Comments are closed.