by: Latch-Key Kid
We’re back! Apologies to any of you who came out of the All-Star break looking for help with 10-day scoring periods, but this column goes live on Sundays. As far as the week ahead goes, we have a pretty good idea about what most of the rotations are going to look like, but there are […]
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by: Mike Couillard
A few short weeks ago, we had to update our prior understanding of some league-wide factors affecting our dumb little fantasy game. This week, with every team crossing the half-season mark and the All-Star break bearing down on us, let’s get some housekeeping in order for the second half of the season. These two factors […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?It has been a pretty hectic week for your resident Cookie Shop proprietor. A significant amount of baking has been involved, fittingly enough. So we shall dispense with the preamble this week and get straight into what you’re here for. What follows are our projections at time of writing as to who will be making […]
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by: Grey
Joe Ryan (4 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.43) got cooked faster than an instant pot, if an instant pot actually cooked things in an instant. I’d be lyin’ on Ryan (poet and aware of it) if I said I trusted him right now, even if I am a believer long-term for 2024 fantasy and beyond. Everyone seems to have caught up to his four-seamer and now it’s Dong City, population every hitter facing him. He’s a two-pitch pitcher, and hitters figured out the ‘good’ one, which is not good. There’s two months left, and, in shallower leagues, it’s time to move on. Getting him for homers (everyone, like I said), Jordan Walker (2-for-3) hit his 10th homer. Jordan Walker is my father, please respect our family time together. Tyler O’Neill (1-for-4) hit his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Tyler O’Neill has 35-homer power. Might take a miracle for him to even get to 15 this year, but there would be stranger things than him going off for two months. Like Dustin. He’s Stranger Things. Also, getting into the act, Lars Nootbaar (2-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 11th homer, and 4th homer in the last week. Snack baars open, baby! Finally, Alec Burleson (1-for-3, 3 RBIs) went ding-dong for his 7th homer. In previous seasons, the Cards would’ve traded Burleson for a middle reliever and watched Burleson become an All-Star on another team, but now he will remain in St. Louis as a 4th outfielder. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Mike Couillard
As I sat typing this article on Friday afternoon, the White Sox executed the Lance Lynn/Joe Kelly and Kendall Graveman trades. By the time this is posted, some of the information below will have aged like a galloon of whole milk left out in Phoenix over the past few weeks. This trade deadline is likely […]
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by: Laura Holt
I don’t know about you, but now that we’re in the throes of summer, keeping as mentally focused as I should be to stay on top of several fantasy baseball leagues is getting more and more difficult, even for those teams that are doing well. Whether you’re on a frivolous vacation or working hard, whether […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
On a street corner, Arte Moreno rings a bell, “Come and get your Angels here, come and get your Angels! No one is off limits! You want Ohtani? You’re gonna have to pay the price! Say, how about you send us Brandon Marsh for Ohtani? Deal done? Terrific! What about Griffin Canning? He just threw 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, and had a career-high in strikeouts with 12 with an ERA at 4.52. You’ll give us ‘a disapproving look once worn by former Angels great, Ian Kinsler?’ Fantastic! He’s yours!” That’s Arte Moreno doing some trade deadline wheeling and/or dealing. Canning was a favorite of mine in previous years. Don’t look at which years it was I liked him, it’s too depressing how far back it goes. Right now, he’s having the best year of his career (9.4 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 3.88 xFIP), and looks headed to top his career-high of 90 1/3 IP, assuming they don’t keep throwing him for 120 pitches per start, like last night. He gained an extra mile on his fastball, and getting hitters mostly with his change, that’s been outstanding. Streamonator loved him yesterday, and I can’t say I’d start him without pause, but he might finally be making good on his promise. The last piece will be him becoming a Tampa Bay Ray! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Howdy, Razzball Brethren! Pete Fairbanks has visited the IL a few times this season, but have you seen his most recent, season-threatening injury? While this is a family-friendly column, I agree it is important to dunk on kids, even if it means sustaining a black eye. They must meet the long-arm of the law sometime. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Phillies’ pitchers have held the Tigers to 6 2/3 IP in Game 1; shutout on three hits in Game two and no hit yesterday by Zack Wheeler in 7 1/3 IP. Seems the Tigers’ pregame sessions meeting around the batting cage while Javier Baez takes batting practice are paying off. “So, swing 7 inches above […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Greetings RazzFam! Welcome to Razzball Ambulance Chasers, your weekly recap of MLB injuries. I hope you all had a fantastic week because there are a few players who absolutely did not. One casualty from the week is Tyler Glasnow who is just two regular season games removed from Tommy John surgery rehab. Glasnow is expected […]
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by: JKJ
Howdy, folks!
Thanks for tuning in for my next weekly project: tracking all them ding dang injuries. I’m transitioning from transactions to trauma. From moves to maladies. From signings to sickness. From business to band-aids. From…that’s all I got.
Don’t we all love injuries? What would fantasy sports be without all those cute lil’ red “DTD”s and “IL”s and “O”s and “Q”s sprinkled all over our lineup pages?
I jest, of course. F*** injuries. Nothing sours your fantasy GM mojo like freakin’ injuries. Last year was banonkers (bananas + bonkers = banonkers) with COVID, and we’re already getting some of that fun as Spring Training kicks off. I keep seeing stuff about this wild California strain, and if there’s any proof in that pudding, then we could very well be in for a lot more COVID fun in 2021. I mean, we will be anyway, but this could compound it further. Joy.
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by: everywhereblair
I’m freshly back from The Hotties, which is the annual Razzball award ceremony for the “hottest taeks” in fantasy baseball. With the sharp-toothed piranhavirus in full swing, Grey called for a “Mask-erade” ball, but the Eventbrite invitation auto-corrected it to a “masquerade” ball. Everybody showed up with the wrong parts of their face covered. I thought Grey would be upset but he seemed to take everything in stride, saying that he had been waiting for this day since “Eyes Wide Shut” was released. Is that a movie or a novel or a contact delivery service? Anyway, Grey started giggle-whispering “Fidelio!” at everybody. Hey, Grey, I get it. Fidel Castro liked baseball. Let’s get with the times!
I did manage to record Grey’s speech to all the writers and Instagram models who attended. Here’s the transcript if you want to read it:
“I’ll get right to the point: I’m proud to announce a new partnership between Razzball and the San Diego Padres. 2021 will be known as STAN DIEGO around here, and all hot taeks will involve Padres players. The top 10 pitchers? Lamet, Davis, Clevinger, and Paddack [audible hissing from the crowd]. The top 10 hitters? Tatis, Machado, Grisham, and Myers. Trevor Rosenthal is a top 30 pick. You will all write sleeper articles on Joey Lucchesi, Adrian Morejon, and yes, Eric Hosmer. [pause while Grey dodges thrown masks] Fear not, for STAN DIEGO comes with perks! You will all get a free hot dog with a purchase of an annual pass to Sea World, and you’ll get a personal tour of the tiger enclosure at the San Diego Zoo. Now, writers, start hyping Jake Cronenworth!”
At that point, all the people Grey whispered “Fidelio” to disappeared into Grey’s private grotto, which he named “50 Shades of Play” because of the underwater mini-golf course he installed. Myself? I was left standing in the foyer with a mysterious note that only said, “MacKenzie Gore, 2021 hot taek.”
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