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Greetings, deep-leaguers, let’s get right to it this week — it’s hot, we’re tired, and paying close attention to fantasy baseball is starting to feel like a bit of a chore rather than the most fun thing on the planet.  If you are grinding it out and frustrated in a league or two, just think about how sad you’ll be this winter when there are no box scores to check and players to disappoint you!

Last week we looked at players aimed at ultra-deep leagues — we’ll continue to search for those 5%-or-less-owned guys, as always, and also dial it back a bit and throw in some players of the medium-deep variety this week (in the 10 – 20% owned range in CBS leagues).  With that being said, you know the drill:  here are a smattering of players that may be of interest to those in AL-only, NL-only, or other deep leagues.

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Rick Porcello was masterful Friday night, turning in one of the best, most efficient, pitching performances we’ll see all season, holding the New York Yankees to just one hit (a home run) and striking out nine for a complete game win. His only hiccups were a HBP to begin the game and a solo home run to rookie 3rd baseman Miguel Andujar, after which Porcello proceeded to retire the next 21 straight batters with ease. More like Siiiiick Rick, brah *shock emoji* Or Quick Rick? IMHO (the “H” stands for handsome) this was the best start we’ve seen from a Boston pitcher all season, and that’s saying something for a team with Chris Sale on it. The former Cy Young threw first-pitch strikes to 23 batters and threw 68 strikes of the the just 86 pitches to get through this one. Veintidos, which might be the worst nickname ever, moves to 14-4 with a 3.84 ERA and 1.16 WHIP.  Most amazing for me, however, was that a Yankees/Red Sox game took just 2 hours and 15 minutes! It was the fastest Boston/NY game since May 6, 1994! So keeping in that spirit I will wrap this up quick. The last two Sox pitchers to 1-hit the mighty Yankees line up facing the minimum batters were Pedro Martinez in 1999 and Roger Clemens in 1991, and those are some pretty great names to have in your company.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The joy you get from watching someone grab Freddy Peralta off waivers, then he throws a terrible start is Schadenfreddy.  However, he doesn’t throw terrible starts, so what does that leave us with if we don’t own Peralta, but we long for him?  Freddy Kreager beaver?  (They get worse, so skim with your eyes if you must.)  Freddy Appetizeralta?  Freddeeeeeeesire…..  I wanna know what the Brewhaha is about, Freddy got fingered by someone other than me?  *drops mic, mic lands on foot*  Ouch.  Yesterday, Freddy Peralta did as he’s done a couple of times before — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.59 thru three starts.  I don’t think he’s quite this good, let’s get that out of the way right now, said like Gordon Ramsay.  He is good, though, and I’ve been telling you to own him since he was called up.  He’s short (for a pitcher, still towers over me), but has strike out stuff (12.8 K/9 in Triple-A).  His delivery corkscrews out into a, “Get me some boxed vino, I’m a wild man,” pushing a 4+ BB/9, so there’s gonna be some ugly starts at some point, but I would still grab him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Summer!  The solstice has arrived:  the days are longer, responsibilities fewer, and it’s finally warm everywhere (well, I’m in L.A. so I really have no idea if it’s warm everywhere right now).  No one wants to be spending extra time stuck inside at a computer over-managing his or her fantasy baseball team, but don’t be the guy who drops the ball completely.  There are still plenty of points to be gained and team upgrades to be made, so keep your head in the game.  For those of you whose game is of the deep league variety, we’ll get right to it this week, taking a look at some names who may be available and/or of interest to those of us in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, you can’t fix this malady. After blowing a save on Monday night, Hunter Strickland punched a wall and broke his hand. He’s expected to go 6 to 8 weeks without blowing another save.. Stash or Trash: I’m in a 14 team league and I’m trashing him. Replacement: Yoshihisa Hirano (4.9%.) With Brad Boxberger looking far from perfect, expect the Diamondbacks to start switching things up. I have a feeling that they’ll leave Archie Bradley as the set-up man because “he’s good in that role” or whatever BS the manager wants to say which could leave Hirano as a major option for saves in the desert. Hirano hasn’t allowed a run since May 5th and has 18 Ks in 17.1 IP over that time. Don’t forget that Hirano averaged 28 saves over the last 5 years he was pitching in Japan.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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The album I released called Father’s Day has an intro as its first song, here it is, “This is dedicated to all those dads out there that stood by their responsibilities and raised your seed.  Unless you would’ve been a terrible father, then it’s better if you shirked your responsibilities and hightailed it out of there.  Something that’s rarely mentioned about absentee fathers, if you would’ve been a crap father, then it’s best if you weren’t around.  The best thing some fathers could give their kids is not being there.  This is dedicated to all the fathers that left.  This is for all the dads that would’ve been so bads.  All the pops that drank nonstops.  You’re often forgotten, but we appreciate your fatherhood was misbegotten”  Any hoo!  Yesterday, Julio Teheran went 6 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 3 walks, 11 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.97, as he was activated from the DL.  He didn’t go on a rehab assignment.  Well, technically, he didn’t but he returned to face the Padres, so same diff.  Teheran’s peripherals are a mess like the father who abandoned us who we now appreciate, so Teheran was money on Sunday, but don’t expect child support (this is so hashtag woke).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Off the album, Get Hits or Buy Ryon, 50 Cent sung about Many Men at a corner spot, rapping, “Many men, wish Joe Mauer on me, have mercy on me, many men.”  Then on his other chart-topping song off that album, In Da Club, he rapped, “You can find at my corner slot, some schlubs.  Look, mami, at my corner infidel slot I got X, if you’re into scrubs.  I’m into havin’ specs, I ain’t into a corner man who’s known for his glove, so come give me a hug, if in my corner slot I got Cory Spangenberg’s mug.”  He followed those up with 21 Questions, when he sang, “Would you leave me if your father found out my corner man was scrubbin’?  Do you believe me when I tell you, I thought Josh Donaldson would be more than nothin’?”  Then, after all those, 50 Cent managed one last smash hit with P.I.M.P., where he rapped, “I don’t know what you heard about me, but a Mitch can’t get a FAAB dollar out of me.  No Kingery, no Sano, you can’t see, that my corner man is P.I.M.P.,” where P.I.M.P stood for Please, I’M Playing (Ronald Guzman).  So, Ryon Healy has been one of the hottest corner man over the last week, but beyond that, on our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, he’s the 17th best 3B this year, in front of Kyle Seager, Longoria, Devers and Carpenter, who are all owned in more leagues than him.  Healy’s also on pace for 28-31 homers with a decent-enough average.  There’s no reason why he’s on waivers in any leagues.  Take 50 Cent’s word for it, Get Hits or Buy Ryon!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell for this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I apologize for the misleading headline but neither the Mary-Kate or Ashley news story you’re looking for is here. I did it for the clicks! Elizabeth Olsen, however, is mentioned quite a bit throughout this post. And it’s not just because I’ve seen her with her shirt off. It’s because she is an extremely talented actress (do you even Martha Marcy May Marlene?). She’s also the Scarlet Witch and will destroy you with her red CGI powers if you try to #MeToo her. Speaking of extremely talented Olsons, Matt Olson went 3-for-4 Friday night with two home runs (10th and 11th) scoring three runs and driving in five. That’s now four homers in the past week for Olson, to go along with seven runs scored, seven RBI and a .269 batting average. He’s hotter than a New York minute, which is an Olsen Twins movie for the unindoctrinated. Matt hit 24 homers in 59 games last year but has amassed just 11 in 58 games so far this year.  He struggled in May with a .216 batting average without Khris Davis there to protect him in the lineup, but still managed six homers. So maybe the 1.003 OPS from 2017 was a tad inflated, and yes, maybe his isolated power is down over 150 points from last season, Olson is still a 30 homer hitter, people. That means he owes you 19 from now until the end of September. Pro tip: that will help your fantasy team! If you need power, Olson has struggled enough in the early going that you can likely pry him from a frustrated owner, and if Friday was any indication he’s busting out of his funk and June could be shaping up to be a big month for the estranged Olson brother.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve got line-ups, charts, Slurpees, lube, a guide for beginner electricians, and even a cactus! Well, that’s a lie. That’s what Jay had last year sitting in front of him. This year? Um…a little less lube? Take that as you will. But hey, we’ve got teams to preview and questions to ask, so let’s hop to it. We a very special guest for this post… Rob Rogacki, to provide his take on what the team has in store this season. Now enough rambling, let’s see what 2016 holds for the Detroit Tigers!

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The term “tool” has multiple meanings around here.  A major league baseball player can have up to five tools.  A fantasy sports writer can be a tool — like when he recommends the wrong next in line to closer for the Rockies (that’s me).  Rudy Gamble makes tools — like the SAGNOF tool I talked up last week that gives you some insight on the best base stealing match-ups and like our DFS (daily fantasy) tools available here.  A commenter pointed out last week that “Using the (SAGNOF) tool, Venable (FA) faces Nelson who ranks #25…pretty stealable. Problem is, Nelson has been in top form lately so tough to get on base. I’m gonna give Venable a shot nevertheless.”  At this point I felt compelled to remind him and the rest of you that by using the tool “You can put the odds in your favor, but a one game result is ultimately a total crapshoot.”  Well, everything with such a small sample size is a crapshoot, so what I meant was that putting the odds in your favor is a good thing and something that you need to try to do consistently when it comes to managing your last few roster spots.  What happened that game?  Venable stole a base against Nelson.

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Papelbon, your new Nationals closer

Maybe the worst thing to happen on the trade deadline was something that didn’t happen.  Carter Capps to the Yankees would have been stupendous.  I wanted to see the media and baseball people lose their mind over Capps’ delivery and I think that’s exactly what would have happened had he ended up there.  But the thing that really has fantasy baseball managers in a tizzy is Jonathan Papelbon to the Washington Nationals.  As their closer.  (Yeah this old news, Grey and Smokey already beat me to Paplebon/Nationals puns.  Whatever.)  Drew Storen, Tyler Clippard, Joakim Soria and Jim Johnson are out of their closing job but jobs were created in the form of Ken Giles, Edward Mujica, Alex Wilson, and Arodys Vizcaino.  Now some of us might still be scrambling for players that can get some saves.  Well the Rockies have a closer spot up for grabs.  It sure took long enough, but this is something I’ve been saying would happen since Axford took that role.  Justin Miller, Rafael Betancourt, and Tommy Kahnle are the candidates to close there and that’s the order I would own them in.

Please, blog, may I have some more?