Remove Giancarlo’s hamate bone! Please! Actually, remove all players’ hamate bones immediately! Sorry, not to get all The Handmaid’s Tale here, but have Aunt Lydia line up all hitters and scalpel their hamates out of their hands. No, no, no, seriously! What if the hamateless hand is just a millisecond quicker around on a swing adding to exit velocity and–Ugh! Can’t that be a possibility? I will remove my tinfoil hat for you to answer me. Okay, I can’t risk Thetans invading my between-the-ears-space so I’m putting the hat back on. Sorry. So, Jose Ramirez returned from the IL, hamateless, and did what Matt Olson and legions of others (maybe no one else) have done before and homered a bazillion times. Yesterday, Jose Ramirez went 2-for-3, 7 RBIs with his 21st and 22nd homer. In 2020, I imagine Jose Ramirez will be ranked in the preseason by everyone like I ranked him coming into this year — at some point in the 2nd round vs. that top five ranking everyone was giving him like a bunch of loons. Though, now that hamate removal surgery is the new cortisone shot… Hmm… Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Please see our player page for Austin Wynns to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.
This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave. A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’ A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.” Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft. This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds. Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you. I don’t need to ice my clicky finger. It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting. It does allow you to second-guess your picks. Actually, more like triple-guess. (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers. Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Fernando Tatis Jr. made the team. Did not see that one coming. Don’t own him anywhere. To which you now say, “Tough Tatis.” Wow. I’m stunned. Good for the Padres! This is not good for the Luis Urias, who I’ve lowered in my top 20 2nd basemen. Possibly bad news for Ian Kinsler too, but owning Ian Kinsler in fantasy was bad news for you anyway. Here’s what I said earlier in the preseason on Tatis, “Fernando Tatis Jr. was born in 1999. Recently, it was announced Acuña was so young he didn’t know who Mickey Mantle was, well, Tatis Jr. is so young he doesn’t know who Mike Trout is. Dude was born like a minute ago, and not a minute as it’s defined in Urban Dictionary, which is a long time, but an actual minute. Fernando Tatis Jr.’s dad is so young he didn’t even use charcoal as his medium; he used MS Paint. Tatis Jr. looks like an All Star ready to happen, until the 75th round draft pick, Albert Pujols Jr., comes along and replaces him. Jokes aside, Tatis looks damn near perfect. A lanky Machado maybe, a young Hanley possibly. Like something Ryan Brasier would cover, Tatis looks real and spectacular. I’d say the difference him and his pops is the difference between Ken Griffey Jr. and Sr., but Ken Sr. wasn’t that bad. How about this, the difference between Tatises (Tatii?) is the difference between J.D. Martinez and J.D. Martinez Sr. Was there a J.D. Martinez Sr.? No idea, but that’s the point. FTJ is going to be special. Now Fun the Jewels fast! Now Fun the Jewels fast! Now Fun the Jewels fast!” And that’s me quoting me! I love him, guys and five girl readers, and you need to own him in all leagues. Immediately. He has some swing-and-miss tendencies, due to his age, so I conservatively projected him up to around 18/18/.250, but, honestly, he could be so much more. He was also moved up my top 20 shortstops, if you’re into that sorta thing. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Olson, affectionately known as Allahson by people in Middle East Bay, hit his 22nd homer yesterday. An inconsequential home run to the game, but it’s a part of a larger tapestry. Khris Davis hit his 31st homer, his 4th homer of the week, but, again, pull back, view the larger picture. That home run didn’t matter! Speaking of a matter, Matt Chapman hit his 15th homer, as he hit out of the two-hole, because the A’s can. Sure, the A’s can and two-hole are synonymous. But, of course, all of this happened. Look at the larger picture! Trevor Cahill went 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.12, which is exactly what was always meant to happen. Don’t you see it yet? On Saturday, Edwin Jackson went 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.87. No one on the A’s will have a bad game this year. Know why? Are you pulled back far enough to see the larger picture? No one will have a bad game because no one sells their soul and doesn’t specify they want to be good until the end of the season. “Hey, cool horns and pitchfork. So, yeah, here’s my soul, and can you make me pitch well until the first week of August?” That would never happen! The A’s aren’t the best team in baseball without serious voodoo, soul-selling! I have it on good authority someone was seen in the A’s clubhouse with a 1970’s-style mustache hiding horns on top of their head! That’s the devil, unless Rollie Fingers remodeled his face. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Did you hear about this Joc working overtime? He was too uptight! Take it, Highlights, it it yours! One guy whose completely uptight in the forbidden Fruit of the Looms is Joc Pederson. Yesterday, he went 3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs with his 5th and 6th homer. That gives him five homers this week. Yabba dabba drool! “So, I was hoping to buy a screw in this hardware store, but I’m having lustly feelings about a Joc. Will you serve me?” That’s me walking into a hardware store in Tennessee. Some of my hotter buys — buys I make while wearing a thong — are owned in more than 50% of leagues — Rendon, Desmond, etc. — but Joc is pretty sexy if he’s going right and available in a multitude of leagues. By the by, someone who changes attitudes frequently has a multitude. The royal we are talking about a guy in my Joc who could sneak into a 30+ homer, 7-steal season, and he’s not even hitting for a bad average this season (.272). Giddy up on this Joc! And that’s not the first time I’ve said that! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?