The past two weeks have been a return to normality after the trade deadline craziness. Now we’re back to orange on the panic scale, where we’ve learned to live in both fantasy and reality of late. August can be a time that arms start to feel the miles of three-quarters of a baseball season. If you’re still in the hunt and grinding saves a well-timed stash a week early can pay immense dividends. Who’s FAAB isn’t running thin, after all?

  • Jake Brentz wins the award for oddly short but difficult name to remember how to spell. He’s also leapfrogged Josh Staumont in the Royals hierarchy. As a lefty, he has to overcome the typical hurdle of manager superstition. They seem to trust him plenty, however. He faced a total of 25 batters over three consecutive games this week. Being a LHP may work to his favor in sticking in the committee, as well.
  • The Yankees activated Aroldis Chapman and had his typical sloppy return outing. With a four-run lead he gave up a homer and some baserunners before departing with two of the three required outs. Aaron Boone probably still plans to use him as the closer the next chance he gets. Let’s see that all is well before welcoming him back to the pricey salads tier.
  • We Razzbois love us Paul Sewald but that committee appears here to stay. Drew Steckenrider notched the save last night with Sewald getting the hold before him. Sewald’s still a decent speculation play while waiting for injury or poor performance.
  • Codi Heuer got a six-out save Tuesday for the Cubs. Rowan Wick hasn’t looked sharp since returning from a long IL stint. Manuel Rodriguez has notched a few wins but only one save since his July 30th promotion. Is that a case of the staff wanting to see more innings from him or the team being so bad he’s getting them? Time will tell. I still see Heuer as the heir apparent for the closer role.
  • The Diamondbacks claimed J.B. Wendelken off waivers from the A’s last week. Arizona’s bullpen is stripped down to the studs so they can certainly use the help. Wendelken garnered some spring training buzz as a possible closer but he hasn’t been able to strike anyone out this year. Maybe a change of scenery helps him turn the page. He’s in the holds mix, as well as a possible replacement for closer Tyler Clippard.

$12 $16 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

Liam Hendriks (Craig Kimbrel)

Josh Hader (Devin Williams)

Mark Melancon (Emilio Pagan)

Ryan Pressly (Kendall Graveman)

Raisel Iglesias (Steve Cishek)

Will Smith (Chris Martin, Richard Rodriguez)

Kenley Jansen (Blake Treinen)



Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

Aroldis Chapman (Chad GreenJonathan Loaisiga)

Matt Barnes (Adam Ottavino)

Jordan Romano (Adam Cimber)

Alex Reyes (Giovanny Gallegos)

Ian Kennedy (Archie Bradley)

Emmanuel Clase (James Karinchak)

Jake McGee (Tyler Rogers) *Fairly close to a committee with many options

Lou Trivino (Jake Diekman)

Kyle Finnegan (Andres Machado)


These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.

Edwin Diaz (Trevor May)

Scott Barlow/Jake Brentz

Paul Sewald/Diego Castillo/Drew Steckenrider

Joe Barlow (Spencer Patton)

Daniel Bard (Carlos Estevez)

Alex Colome (Tyler Duffey)

Dylan Floro/Anthony Bender

Tyler Clippard (J.B. Wendelken)

Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

Andrew Kittredge/JT Chargois

David Bednar/Chris Stratton

Mychal Givens/Lucas Sims/Michael Lorenzen

Gregory Soto/Jose Cisnero/Michael Fulmer

Manuel Rodriguez/Codi Heuer/Rowan Wick

Paul Fry/Cole Sulser


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11 months ago

I never comment on these, so wanted to say 1) I find these extremely useful 2) after several dozen reads over the years the tier descriptions still make me laugh and also illustrate the tiers excellently

Reply to  Dustin
11 months ago

Appreciate it!

11 months ago

I just sold Barnes with Correa to land Machado. I will replace him with Sewald, Steckenrider or Clippard and won’t look back. I think Barnes and the sawks are dunnies

Norman Ginsberg
Norman Ginsberg
11 months ago

I own Green (#1 Donkeycorn group) and Barnes (top guy in #2 donkeycorn group); and I can keep only one. Which one? A few notes.
– I assume Chapman wil be back in DEL-land imminently. But is he only 50% w Lasagna?
– Barnes recent performances were batting practice. Were they outlires or the expectation?