Down On The Farm: Vogelbach the Jelly Donut of Swat!

June 19, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 75 Comments

It’s Father’s Day, and as a father of three, there’s nothing I’d rather do than ignore my children for a few hours in order to write glowing prose about an overweight guy named Dan. Could this exercise of self indulgence ultimately lead to my demise when my daughter seeks employment at the local gentlemen’s club? Or when my two sons decide to pursue careers in baseball well into their mid-30’s on the independent ball circuit? Then again, what could make a father prouder than watching his boys player/coach the Massapequa I-Roc Z’s? I know what you’re all thinking “Ralph we care not about this tired exercise of projecting a future of unmet expectations. The Simpsons beat that theme into the ground years ago. So tell us more about this overweight Dan fellow.” Absolutely!! Verbose and demanding reader, I’d love to. Portly Cubs prospect Dan Vogelbach is at it again, reminding us that the Northsiders have an embarrassment of riches and not nearly enough positions on the major league level.

Over the past week he’s hitting .357 with 3 homers and 7 rbis, raising his season slash-line to .306/.431/.544. The biggest area of growth this season for Vogey has been the power, having previously topped out at 19. So far this season he has 12 homers over 253 plate appearances at AAA Iowa. He’s also walking 17% of the time, which is downright ludicrous. So when’s he coming up right? Well unfortunately best case scenario for Vogelbach is he gets traded to an American League team before the trade deadline, because the chances are slim (pun intended) that he sees any extended time with the Cubs. Either way he’s worth keeping an eye on, and if he does end up in Tampa Bay or another AL destination he’s worth adding immediately.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Two-Start Pitchers, Week 12: No Worries For Nola

by: M@

Fantasy owners can be fickle. Can we not? Fickle as a pickle. Hang on…

Sorry, had to get the computer back from my grandmother. While the saying may be as lame as Facebook is to a High Schooler, the initial verbiage is somewhat true. Chris Archer? Aah, he sucks now. Matt Shoemaker? He’s awful! Cole Hamels? Those peripherals just scream regression. Or how about the rook Michael Fulmer. Y’all see his first four starts? 19.1 IP, 14 ER?!? Send him back down! Listen, sometimes a quick trigger is the right move (see: Sonny Gray early in the season), but often times, as it is with the four names just mentioned, the overzealous hyper-anxious fickle nature of the tiny past 14 days window can bring with it a big #facepalm a week later. All four of those pitchers took the mound this past Friday night. Here’s what being fickle gets you:

Archer: 6.0IP/6H/3ER/3BB/8K
Hamels: 7.0IP/3H/0ER/3BB/6K
Shoemaker: 6.0IP/6H/1ER/1BB/7K
Fulmer: 5.2IP/5H/1ER/4BB/5K (1st ER in last five starts, just the 2nd in his last 40 IP)

I’m pretty sure you’d take all of those, yet some of you may have jumped ship back in April. See, no reason to worry. And one more name that the same deep breath should be practiced towards this week: Aaron Nola.

Nola has been phenomenal for the surpassingly future-is-bright Phillies this year. He carries a 3.51 ERA into this week’s slate, and that’s after his past two starts being purely dismal with a combined slash of: 6.2IP/15H/10ER/4BB/8K. Brutal. But don’t you dare let that raise your blood pressure, especially for this week.

Yes, he’s had two straight horrible outings, but that’s on the heels of nine straight quality starts with 6 or more Ks in all but one of them. An even better reason to love your some Nola this week (and no, I’m not talking about the Taints…Falcons fan here)? He’s on the road twice. Check his home/road splits:

Home: 41.0IP/4.83ERA/1.41WHIP
Road: 43.2IP/2.27ERA/0.87WHIP

Now I don’t believe we have a reverse 2015 Dallas Keuchel on our hands, as his home stats are inflated from his last start, but I’m most certainly relying on him for stellar numbers on the road. Give him the visitors bench against the Twins and the Giants? Even better! No worries on young Aaron, folks. He’s no foofoo like Robin Arryn. Eat the fickle pickle, and don’t worry about that little guy.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My Cherie Almora

June 18, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 57 Comments

by: Dan Pants

Albert Almora, Jr. went 3-for-4 with 2 RBI Friday night and the rookie outfielder has now hit safely in his past three games and is slashing .429/.455/.619 since his call up June 7. Oh, hello there, AAJ. Have we met? This isn’t just any prospect we’re talking about here. This is a Cubs prospect. Alert the media! Oh wait, that’s us? Grey covered him a week or so ago, and I’ve been telling you to pick him up as well. Grey said, “Albert Almora also anagrams to Barrel T. Alamo, who’d be great as a San Antonian oil man villain.” Sound advice as always, boss. I will summarize in case you no read good. Almora had 3 homers and 10 steals in 55 games at AAA and he likely won’t play every day, so expectations can be tempered. I added him everywhere I needed runs and average, but I also drafted Giancarlo Stanton and Justin Upton, so I’m not so sure you should be listening to me anymore. Regardless, he’s definitely a player to keep your eye on, especially if you have a third eye, and the other two are busy trying to watch the NBA Finals and the most-hyped episode of Game of Thrones ever simultaneously. If you’re a sucker for the rookies like me, Almora has looked good so far at the plate and bats in a stacked Chicago line up and could certainly be worth an add for his upside alone.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings: Crazy Eyes

June 18, 2016 | DraftKings |

by: Gern Blanston

It’s June! That means Orange Is the New Black is back and Max Scherzer is dominating batters. If you haven’t seen the show, don’t worry. This write up contains no spoilers. All you need to know is that there is character named Crazy Eyes and Max has crazy eyes. Like the Orange Is the New Black fan base, Max loves June. Throughout his career, hitters only have a .284 wOBA in June. His first complete game came in June 2014 when he shut out the White Sox. His first no-hitter came in June 2015 against the Pirates at Nationals Park. It was nearly a perfect game, but was spoiled by Jose Tabata. BOLD PREDICTION ALERT: Scherzer will throw a perfect game today! It’s the only logical outcome. Sorry Padres fans, but the Padres are the team most likely for Max to achieve a perfect game against. They have a league low .278 wOBA and 75 wRC+ vs RHP. They also have the lowest BB/K ratio at .26 vs RHP. Max has been throwing close to 55% fourseamers this season, which the Padres have been hitting only .222 and slugging a league low .377 against. While Max has struggled against lefties this season, Jon Jay is the Padres best lefty… I’m not too concerned. Padres hitters are going to feel like they are in prison when the dig in to face off against Max. I now sentence to read the rest of my picks for this Saturday DK slate.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 20th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Closer Report, Week 11 – Perkins? Should Have Went to Shoney’s

June 18, 2016 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 36 Comments

by: Smokey

The save buffet line in Minnesota is becoming a tiresome “wait-and-see who gets the chance today”. We all sit there and wait to own all the bullpen condiments that they offer, whether it be Brandon Kintzler, Fernando Abad, Trevor May, Kevin Jepsen, or Michael Tonkin. Including Perkins, those are the names that have been gifted a precious save chance for the occupants of the Twin Cities. A save opportunity total that is second to last in the league (18), in front of a surprise first place team in the Cubs. The Cubs are only there because they are beating everyone up and don’t have the late-inning chances that other losing teams do. So back to the Twinkies… they have the least amount of saves, holds, and have the least amount of appearances by relievers with the lead. All those things are so bad for roster space that you are speculating it to get you a save. They are on pace to average less than 3/4 of one whole save a week. But if people want to keep roster shuffling, looking for the odd save here or there, who am I to judge? I mean, some people say cucumbers taste better pickled. The fortunate thing for you is that I am here to guide that steady hand and give you astute advice for a nominal (not nominal, it’s free) fee. So here the rankings of closers for week 11, now with more added snippets of goodness!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Your Opponent May Scream When You Buy Tim

June 17, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 535 Comments

by: Grey

You have Eugenio Suarez as your middle infielder and are growing bored, so you check out The Replacements, and there’s so many possibilities. Anything you want, dear, is fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Everything you say, dear, I’ll buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, goodbye Eugenio. He was merely a steward to better things. Sorry, too formal, he was a waiter in the sky. He played/was fair, don’t wanna complain. Don’t want to treat him like a bum, don’t wanna ask Cougs and Ted who I should pick up in case of a tie. Now, I like what I hear about Tim Anderson. If bein’ wrong’s a crime, I’m waiver wiring forever. If bein’ strong’s your kind of pick up, then I need help here this Tim’s got power like a feather. If bein’ afraid is a crime, put the two players side by side. Cause Tim’s at the SAGNOF party down the line. So, Tim Anderson is just steals? Well, not entirely, but that’s what he mostly is. He can also hit for a solid average. In the minors the last three years, he hit .364, .312 and .304. The Honkey Sox seem happy to try him at leadoff, and, with his batting average skills, he should stick there. The speed is real — stealing 49 bases last year in the minors. I’d absolutely take a flyer on him for speed alone. South Park isn’t the only place that has a Tim A. with wheels. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Get The Luck Outta Here

June 17, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Points Leagues | 39 Comments

by: malamoney

Have I mentioned how much I dislike standard issue head to head points leagues. I think I rambled a bit about the topic back in April, but I’m back for a second helping. Listen I understand that luck plays a role in many aspects of life and competition. Some say a little luck never hurt anyone. Tell that to they guy that ended up losing because that little bit of luck helped his opponent win. But ok, I can accept a little bit of luck. After all, it isn’t likely to be enough to negatively influence results over the long haul.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings: A Phillies-ophical Question

June 17, 2016 | DraftKings | 2 Comments

by: Sky

Alright everyone, get ready. It’s time to hole yourself up inside your house even when it’s sunny and think long and deep thoughts about things that really don’t mean anything. But being fantasy baseballers (Grey’s mom’s term!), you’re already doing this more often than not so you won’t even need to limber up. So the question today, kids, is what’s the cutoff point for bad team facing ‘x’ pitcher equals good to great pitching stats? Hrm, that didn’t sound very philosophical, let’s try again. What’s the sound of one fan base not clapping? If a team sucks in Philadelphia and no one is there to watch it, does it make a sound? There, that’s better. Ponder on, you ponderers. I’ll be here while you insert your thinking emoji down in the comments at me. PS, it just shows up as a couple of weird squares if it shows up at all. The latter is absolutely fine when your user name is ‘Eat A D@#$, Sky’ cuz you’ve already told us all what everyone was already thinking. But where were we? Oh yeah, the answer to said question is ‘the sound of your pen breaking as you write Tommy Joseph into your cleanup spot on a regular basis’. The Phillies tricked the baseball world that doesn’t pay attention to stats into thinking they were good for a few weeks to start the year. It was a fun ride while it lasted guys but now that it’s over, let’s look at said stats and why we should care. The Phils are a mediocre offense but when they face a lefty? Whew…Philly comes in second to last in wRC+ at 62 and give you a 23.8% K rate when facing a southpaw. With that, in steps Robbie Ray. Ray not only gets the bonus of stepping out of Chase Field where he owns a 5.89 ERA to the road where it’s 3.06, he also gets to be a lefty who already owns a 10.17 K/9 for the year. Basically, on Saturday, all the regular season articles are gonna lead with ‘pick up Robbie Ray!’ and you’ll be like, ‘Fool, it was the Phillies and he’s in Toronto next. DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT.’ Ok, maybe that’s just me. Anyhoo, starting Ray at $8,400 promises Ks o’plenty and I’m comfortable in all formats rolling him out there. But let’s stop thinking deep thoughts and get on with being shallow as we’re wont to be. And with that, here’s my God is dead hot taeks for this Friday DK slate…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

That’s Why The J.D. Needs A Clamp

June 17, 2016 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 466 Comments

by: Grey

Just Damn. Just Doh. Just Don’t-tell-me-he’s-out-for-the-year. Just Depression. Just Difficulty-feeling-happiness. Just Dis-stress-is-stressing-me-out. Just D-negative-words-in-the-thesaurus. Just Dissolvent. Just Did-you-say-dissolvent? Just Don’t-stop-hugging-me-with-your-eyes-Ted-I-can’t-be-alone-right-now. A fractured elbow for J.D. Martinez. It happened when he ran into a wall. Apparently, the wall doesn’t own him. I hate you, wall! “If he dies, he dies.” Oh my God, the wall is imitating Ivan Drago! I knew it! The wall is a Russian super-villain. Martinez will head for a CT scan. I don’t know how long he’ll be out with a fractured elbow, but it sounds like it will be a while. Let’s join in the shape of a parallelogram and pray. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bear Or Bull: The Straw That Broke The Hamels’ Back

June 16, 2016 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 40 Comments

by: Big Magoo

Over the past decade, Cole Hamels has been one of the best pitchers in Major League Baseball. Many of his key statistics, such as strikeout and walk rates, ERA, WHIP, total wins, and innings pitched per start, compare favorably to other aces like Zack Greinke, David Price, and Jon Lester over that span. He’s a three time All-Star, a former World Series MVP, and he even threw a no-hitter in his last start with the Phillies before being traded to the Texas Rangers last July. He purposely drilled a young Bryce Harper with a pitch during Harper’s rookie season to warn the kids to stay off of his lawn. Old school! Hamels was a key player in helping the Rangers reach the postseason last year, and is one of the main reasons that his team is currently in first place in the AL West this season. His Bugs Bunny changeup has been one of the most dominant pitches in the game throughout his career. This is all fantastic, so why does it sound like there’s a “but” coming? That’s not necessarily the case. No need to be so negative. However, as great as Hamels has been, his 33rd birthday is just around the corner, and he’s thrown almost 2,200 combined regular and postseason innings throughout his MLB career. That’s a lot of wear and tear. At this point in his career, a fair question to ask would be: Is Hamels still the same dominant pitcher that he’s always been? Or is age and/or all of the wear and tear starting to catch up with him?

Let’s take a look at Hamels’ profile to determine if he’s still capable of producing at an elite level. Here are a few observations:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

2016 REL Dynasty League Update: Week 11

June 16, 2016 | Razzball Elite League | 14 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

The REL post is back, and we’ve got a team streaking! Unfortunately they’re streaking in Canada, which is only safe for nudity 1-2 months out of the year. Or else things might freeze off! It’s like that time when you sit your kids down to watch Frozen, except you rented the one where those moron college kids get stuck on a ski lift…

The NL remains the Nats league to lose creating a little distance from the Cubs, but with a week-long offensivee outburst, look out for the Blue Jays! They’re clipping on the Orange Birds’ heals (er, ummmm, talons) for the top spot in the AL. Here’s how week 11 went down in the 2016 REL League:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings: Miggy and His Clone

June 16, 2016 | DraftKings |

by: wheyen3

When J.D. Martinez really began hitting well for the Tigers, there was a lot of fishing around for where the production came from. He was a low round draft pick who had gotten himself pretty well regarded in Houston but then didn’t pan out. There’s always gonna be the whispers speculating steroids, and the people who just say he was a late bloomer. I think the answer is simple: just watch him hit. If he reminds you at all of Miguel Cabrera, his teammate, that’s because that’s who he modeled his swing after. Today, both of these guys, clones now of each other, will need to be in your lineup against the lefty Danny Duffy, and you shouldn’t think twice about it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?