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To try to appeal more to teenage boys, the Rangers should install a giant lotion bottle in center field, and each time Marcus Semien homers, it explodes with lotion onto the fans in the bleachers. Yesterday, there would be a lot of facials from Semien, as he went 7-for-8, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and a triple slam (4, 5, 6) and double legs (9, 10). Halleberrylujah. That might actually be the single greatest day ever. Could Semien be coming out of his early-season funk like Jason Biggs once came out of a tube sock? Okay, those other words were likely avoidable. Is Semien about to explode? Again, avoidable! Is Semien about to explode in a good way in all his glory, whole and pulsating. Okay, more very avoidable words! Here’s what I thought on our Youtube channel. Click that and click subscribe so I can feed my children (Ted, a dog).

Before you say, this rooster, Grey, is caca-cuckoo crazy. Entering yesterday’s games, he had an expected batting average of .201, and one of the worst exit velocities in the major. Everything across the board on his page is saying he really was this bad. Not unlucky. Could he turn it all around? Does Marcus Semien sound like a bath towel that you tell your mom you got paste on? Yes and yes! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Wed 8/6
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK

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Anyone that rosters Hunter Greene will understand this feeling. Greene doesn’t produce happiness until he’s out of the game. Can’t even watch him out of fear. Even when he’s pitching well, there’s a sense of dread that at any moment the other Greene will appear and he’ll walk the bases loaded, then give up a grand slam to the most random of hitters.

“And there’s a deep drive to Jose Herrera…”
“Did you make up that name?”
“I did not.”

There’s likely a German word for what Greene does to us. This state of not-happiness, not-sadness. Please suggest a glossary term in the comments for this type of pitcher, who pitches well but you can’t enjoy because you’re expecting the worst.

Yesterday, Hunter Greene (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.40) was absolutely butter on the back of a Corvette that had “TOAST” spraypainted on it. He could be again next time out. He absolutely could. If anyone tells you he absolutely will, they’re lying to you. There’s no way of knowing which Hunter Greene you’re going to get from start to start. Not yet, at least. At some point, he will be an ace, or blow out his elbow trying. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The end of the world. No, I’m not talking about WWIII, the continued collapse of the US Dollar/economy, or the next predicted apocalypse conspiracy. I recently spent the weekend in Montauk, celebrating a dear friend’s wedding. Montauk is colloquially known by Long Island residents as the “End of the World” because it is the easternmost […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Astros are destroying the ball (unless the player’s jersey says “Bregman” on the back; no, my dynasty team isn’t frustrated at all). Everything Yordan hits is a nuke and the ‘Stros probably scored a financial coup signing him to “only” $116 million for the next six years. Kyle Tucker is still on pace for […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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“He’s a Mormon like a wolf!” That’s me singing about Ezequiel Duran (2-for-4 and his 1st homer) as he was called up by the struggling-to-get-offense Rangers, who are only spending $500 million this year. Whatever the case, circle July 8th on your calendar as the first day we can get the long-awaited matchup of Duran/Duran. Her name is Edwin Rios and she is dancing on the sand! In the Itch’s top 25 2nd base prospects, Ezequiel got some shine, “Acquired from the Yankees in the Joey Gallo deal, Duran is a twitch factory who logged 19 HR and 19 SB in 105 games in High-A this year, slashing .267/.342/.486 between the two organizations. He also went to the fall league and slashed .278/.333/.611 with another three home runs in 16 games. I’ve been into this guy’s baseball actions since the first time I saw video of him way back in 2017. He’s a stout right handed hitter at 5’11” 185 lbs, who swings like he’s killing snakes. Grey better watch out, since he’s a snake.” Not cool! In deeper leagues, where you’re struggling for everything — wouldn’t be me! (Absolutely is me!) — I could see grabbing Duran. “Just like that river twisting through a Dusty land!” Me singing about Duran when he faces the Dusty-led Astros. Unlike the Phils’ defense, that shizz is catchy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to another addition of Top Dynasty Keepers.

We’ve taken a look at some of the top prospects who have been promoted to the Show the last couple of weeks. So this week, we are going to take a look at two players who are not on the popular top prospects lists in Luis Gonzalez of the Giants and Christopher Morel of the Cubs.

After two cups of coffee with the White Sox in 2020 and 2021, the White Sox let go of Gonzalez and the Giants claimed Gonzalez off waivers, only to later release him prior top the non-tender deadline. San Francisco then inked him to a minor league contract in December. Meanwhile, Morel, who is listed as the Cubs’ No. 21 prospect by MLB Pipeline entering the season, has finally made it to the majors after signing a contract with the Cubs in 2015.

Thus, it is not surprising that Gonzalez and Morel are widely available in fantasy leagues. Gonzalez is only rostered in 10% of Yahoo leagues and 4.5% of ESPN leagues. Meanwhile, Morel is getting a little more love by fantasy owners as he is owned in 55 percent of Yahoo leagues and only 14.5% of ESPN Leagues.

Are these fantasy owners right in shying away from these two players? Let’s take a look at their numbers and find out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?