Rappers and Baseball Player Comparisons: Beddict’s Legend Grows

August 16, 2013 | Points Leagues | 48 Comments

Greetings ya’ll! Tis I yet again, Tehol Beddict, legendary bull-fighter, master class stripper, fantasy sports champion, and the west coasts top male escort 3 years running. Tis true, my name has been associated with much folklore, for I have gone balls deep more often and more ferociously than THIS grand creature. That’s right, click that link, turn the lights down low, turn up the volume and get a clearer picture of what I’m speaking of. But I come to you today, not to boast about my seemingly constant erotic encounters, but to give a little insight on fantasy baseball, though in a strange way they both go together. Ok, so they really don’t. Hopefully that didn’t get many of you “Magic the Gathering” players too excited. Anyway, this week’s session will consist of me comparing some players who have stood out to me all season with some of hip hop’s most famous rappers. I will even include the best single lines of these rapper’s career, so that’s something to get pumped about right? This genius idea was inspired by young Kendrick Lamar’s controversial verse on Big Sean’s new record, Control, where son came in and claimed both the east and west coast throne. Kendrick has the streets talking and this priceless Adolph Hitler response has kept me in tears all night. I’m guessing many of you would prefer me comparing bands like Pearl Jam and Guns and Roses but we’ll save that till Axl Rose dies, which could be as soon as next week. This is just part one and the end will consist of some short blurbs of what else went on this week in fantasy baseball so skip to the bottom if you like. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!? No? Oh well, lets do it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

#	MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
	ARI \| ATL \| BAL \| BOS \| CHC \| CIN \| CLE \| COL \| HOU \| KC \| LAA \| LAD \| MIA \| MIL \| MIN \| NYM \| NYY \| PHI \| PIT \| SD \| SF \| STL \| TB \| TEX \| TOR \| ATH \| CHW \| DET \| OAK \| SEA \| WSH

Cardinals Admit Their Love For Young Wongs

August 16, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 288 Comments

by: Grey

You know who’s happiest about Kolten Wong being called up? The Vatican. Finally, something non-Catholic related will show up in search results when you Google ‘Cardinal + Wong + 2nd base.’ Somewhere, Dan Brown is scribbling notes for a new thriller…the Catholic church took a page out of the playbook of the Native Americans, who having foreseen the Internet in a 1973 peyote-inspired dream, worked to make sure the practice of reselling tickets was known as scalping. So now you Google ‘Indians + scalping’ and the search results are just a way to get cheap seats in Progressive Field. Wong’s call-up crowds the Cardinals infield in the weirdest of ways. Wong can’t play shortstop. It says here. There. Where I just wrote here. He can’t play 3rd. Says there. Where I wrote it. Can’t play 1st. Says here. Next to where I wrote here. He plays 2nd, Carpenter goes to 3rd and Freese goes on ice. Sorta surprised by this because the Cardinals know that seriously reduces Freese’s trade value, but he was seriously reducing his trade value by playing. But, wait, why do we care? What can Wong do right? Here’s what Prospect Scott said just two days ago, “Wong has caught a heater at the right time, hitting .333/.429/.556 with 2 homers and 2 stolen bases through his last 10. Too bad Grey can’t catch a heater in his groin.” What? Why? On the year in the minors, Wong has a line of 10 HRs, 20 steals and a .303 average. That’s close to what I’d expect of him in the majors too. He has a great eye at the plate (60 Ks, 41 BBs) and nice speed. Maybe a handful of homers and steals in the last six weeks with a good average. In keepers, he’s a must have. In redrafts, I’d grab him in all leagues for upside. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Closer Report

August 15, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Closers, Middle Relievers | 26 Comments

by: Smokey

Blown saves suck, but thankfully for some, not all, that stat doesn’t count. I mean it does affect you in some regard but 1 inning of bad numbers is far better than a SP taking a steaming dump on your ERA over a 5-inning debacle. The past weeks of Mo and Jim Johnson have given us zero to look forward to from either guy, but Johnson has been doing this all year long. That’s why I am here to say that K-Rod is going to be getting more looks going forward (or so I think). Johnson leads the league in saves but also leads the league in Blown Saves. He offers little to no K value and his team is in a pennant chase. Now play manager for a second, go get your little outfit, whistle if you think it’s necessary, and let’s go manage. You want a guy who is getting it done, and is best for your team. Not whether I have to start getting ritualistic mani/pedi combo because you start chewing on your digits… all 21 of them. It won’t be a foreva-eva type thing in Charm City but I bet my Omar whistling down the street ringback that it’s going to happen. Enjoy the week to come and good luck as the playoffs for you H2H peeps creeps closer.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pitch Imperfect

August 15, 2013 | OPS Leagues | 19 Comments

by: Tom Jacks

I’ll admit that I rarely write about pitchers, which may not come as a surprise if you knew my long and troubled past. Many years ago, I had a strong affinity for many pitchers on my favorite team (rhymes with Drew Stubbs). Unfortunately the coach – let’s call him either “D. Baker” or “Dusty B.” – was bent on crushing my hopes. But for you, my favorite readers, I will temporarily set aside my shattered dreams to review how 2013 “OPS against” views different pitching staffs. I’ll also include WHIP and BB/9 because I’m just that generous (don’t forget humble!). Anyway, here is the list of the worst pitching staffs:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jim Johnson Saves The BS For Last

August 15, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 659 Comments

by: Grey

To misquote Lucinda Williams, “You don’t have to prove your manhood to me constantly, Jim Johnson.” Maybe prove it once in a while. Maybe once in a blue moon with a slice of orange to tie in your uniform. Yesterday, he blew his third save in a row and his league-leading ninth. As the Orioles vie for a pennant spot, the boo birds are probably out in full force in Baltimore. Or for the big-boned fans in Baltimore, the Boog birds. If it was simply based on performance or the will of my piercing brown eyes, Johnson would be doing mop duty dressed as a pelican and every time someone made a mess they’d point to Johnson and say, “I can’t clean it up, but Peli-can.” The Orioles really should give him a rest and turn it over to Francisco Rodriguez or Tommy Hunter. For those of you hoping to vulture some sweet, sweet saves, it’s not a clear cut case of Johnson about to be removed, Lorena Bobbit-style. He’s built up some goodwill over the last twelve months with 51 saves last year and 39 saves now. Also, the O’s are Confucius non gratis as to who is their set-up man. K-Rod, his goggles and his dyslexic dor-K lifestyle has plenty of experience, but the O’s have gone to Hunter to save a few games this year. I grabbed K-Rod in one league where I’m desperate, but this is a shituation that maybe even Peli-can’t handle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bear or Bull: Run, It’s Zorilla!

August 14, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 17 Comments

by: Jay

We are reaching that time of the baseball season where this series offers more of a prospective look. What I mean by that is that the players we look at from here on out may not contain any real-time analytical value. That’s sort of of an eccentric way to say that it’s too late for me to help you now. In fact, I was thinking of arugula when I typed that sentence. But it’s never too early to begin and gather what we’ve learned from this year and apply to the next. Of course, we’ve been doing that with every single post, but the focus has been mainly on the now and soon-to-be now. The time has arrived when we can officially start laying our eggs in the proverbial futuristic basket. A robot basket, with The Matrix twins and lasers. Wait, is there a proverb that involves a futuristic basket? Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. No, that’s not it. Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Eh, close enough. Today’s focus is an interesting one — taking a player who has never really done anything great, but done a lot of things well, and when’s he’s done those things well, he’s done it with multiple positions. That’s what she said.

I speak of none other than Ben Zobrist. Now, as stated above, he brings a lot of things to a fantasy team. There’s a mediocre batting average, a sprinkle of power and speed, multi-positional eligibility, and also consistency within all of those things. The old adage that when it rains, it pours, doesn’t really describe the production you get there. Rather, you get The Drizzle.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Prospect Power Rankings: Week 19

August 14, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 69 Comments

by: Scott Evans

Right about now is when I expected to start hyping the arrival of Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez. The 26-year-old Cuban defector reportedly signed with the Phillies in late July, and we covered his potential fantasy impact here and here. Given the nature of the contract and all the money involved, there was plenty of incentive on the Phillies’ part to push Gonzalez through to the bigs as quickly as possible in order to get him accustomed to performing on a MLB stage. He was set to be your savior for the H2H playoffs, your last-ditch effort at a late-season roto push. He easily would’ve been top-two on this list by now, provided he hadn’t already surfaced in Philly. Alas, folks tend to tread carefully when there’s $60 million on the table. Reports suggest that some concerns popped up regarding Gonzalez’s elbow, and as of today, he remains unsigned. Whether it’s with the Phillies or elsewhere, M.A.G. figures sign for a much more reasonable sum ($60 mil was a little ridic).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings – Another Win Means Stepping Up From A Roadkill Dinner

August 14, 2013 | DraftKings | 14 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Two top ten finishes in a row! You gotta stop letting me doubling up Razzball Nation! Now I can leave the roadkill rest in peace and afford to make SPAM or canned sardines gravy on my big biscuits. SPAM is pretty much good on everything, right?

We’re back with another RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE CAN YOU BEAT RUDY GAMBLE contest, getting you one step closer to the $100,000 Sweet Spot for a shot at a $20,000 top prize – which is like, two million cans of SPAM. Tickets to the Sweet Spot are $100 otherwise, so you’re winning a huge value if you can can the Razzball players. First time I’ve ever said “can can” without meaning the dance, which according to Wikipedia is “physically demanding.” After years of malnutrition and roadkill dinners, I guess it’s “can’t can’t” for me… It’s the usual game, $5.00 an entry, up to two per person, and you can only get in through our exclusive link. Spots 2-10 double up, and get you enough money to start eating healthier…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You Get The MSG? Choice Chen Peking Late

August 14, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 635 Comments

by: Grey

WHO ARE YOU BRUCE CHEN?! I demand answers immediately. I know, yesterday was just against the Marlins, so we can write off the 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks game. But when I put into my supercomputer (that has a mustache too) that Chen has a 1.62 ERA in 72 1/3 IP, my supercomputer walks out the door…And it doesn’t even have legs! If you woke from a season-long coma and saw Chen’s ERA, you’re liable to have a sudden case of Toxic Shock Syndrome (I might be confusing diseases here). So, can the Chen man keep wokking and rolling like he’s Martin Yan? No way in this giant-lush-covered-in-water-thanks-to-Al-Gore planet. He’s not a sub-2 ERA pitcher. He’s barely a 4-ERA pitcher. As a sabermetrician altered license plate in New Hampshire reads, Regress or Die. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Razzball Podcast — The One Where Spencer Witte Stops By

August 13, 2013 | All Podcasts | 332 Comments

by: Grey

Oh, him! Yeah, you’ve never heard of him. That’s okay, we have and you should. Spencer is co-founder and CEO of Classic Baseball, LLC whose business is pitcher injuries. That’s right; they know what you wish your local GM knew when he signed that kid with the funky delivery to the bajillion dollar contract. They basically watch a ton of tape and look for mechanical flaws. Kinda like how JayWrong watches a ton of porn and looks for mechanical flaws. Or how Tony Gwynn watches a ton of Food Network shows. Spencer consults directly with six major league teams about which pitchers will get injured. His success rate is above, say, Verducci and his eponymous nonsense. I’m going to try and get Spencer on again before next season to see if we can’t get some insider information about which pitchers are trouble areas for injuries, but right now Spencer is promoting a real-time baseball app that you use to try to predict outcomes of the game when you’re in the ballpark. For instance, you’re in San Francisco and Lincecum’s on the mound, so you predict he’s going to get out of the inning in three batters and take four bong hits between innings (bong hits may or may not be included in the game). Watch out, Candy Crush! The real question is, with all these talents, can Spencer write blog posts? I’m serious. Everybody’s fired. Me included. In other podcast news, I’m on talking about Jason Heyward, Chris Davis, Yu Darvish, Jose Fernandez and Matt Harvey. All the sexy names you know and love, plus Heyward. Heyward can go *bleep* bleep* bleep* in his *bleeping* *bleep*. Anyway, here’s the Razzball podcast (now with some doode who went to Oxford — la di da!):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RCL Update: August 13

August 13, 2013 | Our Leagues | 18 Comments

by: VinWins

A Hill O’ Beans is back on top after a couple of weeks in 4th place, nudging MasterofGrond down to second. They hit .311 and scored an RCL-best 60 runs, and also had an ERA under 3. There are still many teams in contention with seven weeks to go, so it should be a fun stretch run.

Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pirates Helped Lambo Make The Leap

August 13, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 248 Comments

by: Grey

Yesterday, the Pirates called up the Frozen Tundra, Andrew Lambo. The Pirates should trade Lambo to Milwaukee (Green Bay) for Yovani Gallardo (arrr!). Or give Andrew a whistle and call him Coach Lambo-ardi. If you’re confused by any of this, you’re not alone. Rudy came up with the title and then spent twenty minutes on IM explaining it’s football stuff and most people would get it. Only a real man rocks a mustache and knows what a ronde jambe is but not a Lambeau leap. (If football is your bag, there’s our fantasy football section of hazarai.) Lambo’s worth discussing because he has big time power — 31 homers in the minors this year. Lambo mercy, you’re so power thirsty. He used to be a top prospect in the Dodgers’ farm system, but was suspended in 2010 due to taking hits from the bong, then never really got started in 2011. His playing time with the Pirates is debatable at this point — he’ll play; no, he won’t, yes, he will, less filling! At worst, the Pirates should play him against all righties. He’s 25 years old, so his upside is limited, but he could be like a Ryan Ludwick-type. I’d definitely take the flyer in just about any league where you need power, and especially in deep-ish keeper leagues. Wouldn’t surprise me at all to see him pull a Han Solo and cement himself into the lineup. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?