With Nelson Cruz hitting the DL (I’ll get to that schmohawk), the Rangers called up Leonys Martin.  Martin could be a poor man’s Desmond Jennings, in other words he’ll be a 2nd ballot Hall of Famer, not 1st.  Martin has breezed through the minor leagues, starting in the Rookie league, jumping to Double-A and finally hitting Triple-A.  It’s called the “Julio Borbon-Endy Chavez-David Murphy Ain’t Doing Shizz From Shinola So We Need A Centerfielder” plan.  Martin has plus-plus speed.  Red Bull says Leonys gives them wings.  He could develop some power down the road, but I wouldn’t expect more than a homer or two with this call-up.  If you need speed in AL-Only or deeper keeper (hey, poet!) mixed leagues, I’d look at him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nelson Cruz – Will be out for 3 weeks with his moans over his hammy.  Any Nostradumbass could’ve told you he’d be hurt at some point this year, but, seriously, this guy gets injured at least once every two months.  Let him play the field in a bubble.  He’s now getting a platelet-rich plasma injection to stimulant the healing process.  I think this was the same treatment they gave Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Adrian Beltre – The injury butterfly effect in Texas is supposed to get Beltre back on the field for Thursday.

Andre Ethier – 3-for-4 as he was back in the lineup on Monday.  He wasn’t going to play, but Colletti showed up at his house and saw a mannequin in Ethier’s bed with a stereo simulating snoring sounds.

Clayton Kershaw – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks.  The Yaghan people, the indigenous inhabitants of Tierra del Fuego, have a word ‘mamihlapinatapai’ that means a desire shared by two people that neither will act on.  If you ever notice when Kershaw pitches, he’ll look into the camera ever-so-slightly.  He’s looking at me.  We got mamihlapinatapai.

Shin-Soo Choo – Gonna miss up to two weeks with his aggravated left side.  And I’m aggravated with him, so we’re even.

Justin Morneau – Out with a sore shoulder.  After thinking about Morneau’s season, listening to Bon Iver cheers me up.

Randy Wells – 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Member when I loved Wells about a year or two ago?  Yeah, this start was what I wanted.  Way to make a guy wait.

Jason Motte – Reporting it here first after inferring from other sources, Motte will see some saves.  La Russa said, “You give guys what they earn, and they make the decisions for you.  Now please donate money to PETA.  I have bunnies to save.”

Jamie Moyer – Rehabbing in Clearwater, Florida hoping to be ready for the start of next season.  I’m assuming he’s talking about the 2012 World Bingo Tour.

Cole Hamels – 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks.  A triumphant return from a 15-day DL stint sans spirit fingers.  I figured Hamels would be fine since he was supposedly healthy last week, but the Phils aren’t pushing the issue with anyone.

Homer Bailey – 8 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks vs. the Phils.  Took steel nads (or stunods) to start him here, but it turned out okay.  I still don’t trust him.  Will work on my trust issues during the offseason just in time for him to screw me next year.  See, I haven’t worked on them yet.

R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. Dickey’s been H.A.M. for the last 8 starts.  Not many Ks, not crazy on the Wins, but solid ratios.

Alex White – 6 IP, 5 ER, 13 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Eh, if you’re rolling a Rockie rookie pitcher out there, you probably deserve this start.  Sorry, it’s Tough Love Grey!

Gaby Sanchez – 1-for-4 while hitting his/her first homer yesterday since July 23rd.  She/he could be getting hot, but we’ll need to see more before adding him/her because Jose Lopez has been stealing a lot of his/her playing time.

Mark Trumbo – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 24th homer.  Is it me or every time someone does something good on the Anaheim Really Isn’t That Close To Los Angeles Los Angeles Angels I expect the Sciociapath to bench him?

Max Scherzer – 3 IP, 7 ER.  To think Michael Chabon wasted a whole book about this guy.

Cameron Maybin – Returning to San Diego for an MRI.  I know they have MRIs in Los Angeles, so it worries me that he’s going to San Diego for an MRI, unless he’s just a victim of a bad HMO.

Nick Hundley – 2-for-4, hitting .413 in August with 2 homers and 5 RBIs.  So, in other words, he’s getting hits but not a whole lot else.  It’s a’ight.

Brandon McCarthy – 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Has 93 Ks to 22 walks and a 1.21 WHIP in 133 2/3 innings.  Only drawback really is the A’s have about as much chance of wins as anyone going to see Moneyball besides baseball geeks.  You, “Hey, baby, I was thinking after Red Lobster we go see Moneyball?”  Your loved one, “Is that the one about Scott Hatteberg’s on base percentage?  I’d love to, sweetie!”   Yeah, that’s gonna happen.

Alex Gordon – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 19th homer.  At first I couldn’t understand why he’s been batting leadoff for the better part of the season, but I think I’ve figured it out.  The Royals are so afraid if they mess with Gordon in any way that he’ll revert to being a bust.  Kid Cudi with kid gloves, I kid you not.

Billy Butler – 1-for-4, but whatever.  This headline just writes the joke for you.

Salvador Perez – 3-for-4 with his first homer.  Royals have committed to playing Perez for 140 games next year as their starter.  He’s 21, so I’ll say until he struggles they’ve committed to him.  As of right now, he’s not struggling at all.  Hitting near .400 over the last week and has some pop in his bat.  Worth a look in very deep leagues (read AL-Only or Sal-Only leagues).

Johnny Damon – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and 2 homers.  Wow, next thing you know he’s gonna make a throw to 2nd with only one relay man.

Brett Lawrie – 1-for-4 with 2 steals.  I’m fully prepared to go all in for him next year while preparing myself for a bust.  Don’t bust, don’t bust, bust!  That’s next March, April and May Grey.  BTW, I’m thinking about changing my name to $rey only I think it works better for S’s.

Adam Lind – 1-for-5 with his 23rd homer.  Who was it saying they were done with Lind because of his slump?  Oh, everyone.

Dayan Viciedo – 2-for-3 with a steal.  I love…Wait, not strong enough.  I lurve when guys try and prove their worth by stealing bags.  Prove yourself, Viciedo, prove.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks.  Hold on, I need my 13-year-old niece to text me some exclamation marks.  13 Ks!!!!!  Wow!!!

Carlos Lee – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer.  Guess he’s not hurt…In the literal sense.  13 homers isn’t exactly setting the world on fire like a good I Can Has Cheezburger meme.

Nick Swisher – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  Has 77 RBIs and a .383 OBP on the year with 21 homers.  Really not an awful season.  Yes, when I say not awful instead of good, it’s not great.  Follow?

Alex Rodriguez – He called his thumb’s bluff with an MRI, but he still lost three to five days on the flop.

Derek Jeter – Missed yesterday and could miss the upcoming Sawx series.  In other news, Jeter and Minka Kelly broke up.  I guess Minka’s fine if you have less than 3,000 hits.  Same reason I started masturbating to hotter women after Razzball reached 3,000 page views.

  1. mike says:

    is there a hotter SP in all of baseball than the SF offense? Sonofabench! I looked at Wells and decided not to stream him based on his poor K-rate. I shoulda known… And now, it seems that everyone knows the secret – it’s harder and harder to find SF on the waiver wire when looking for steamers.

  2. chata says:

    a shizz from shinola ?
    what a jerk !

    3000 page reviews ?
    congrats !
    (sticky pages slowing down the site ?)

  3. Hi Grey — in my 20-team roto league I’m growing tired of Iannetta’s anemic performances on the road and decided to pick up an extra catcher for the Rockies’ current road trip, which runs through Sept. 4.

    I grabbed Perez before yesterday’s games, but he wasn’t on my roster until today so I missed his homer yesterday. There isn’t much else available, but I do see Flowers, Posada, and Hundley on waivers. Would you take any of them over Perez for this stretch?

  4. Tony says:

    Nelson cruz = DH

  5. coco krispie says:

    leonys martin or jordan schafer ros

  6. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:You managed to squeeze in references to Bon Iver,Kavalier and Clay and Ferris Bueller and still found time to make fun of Billy Butler….perfect.

  7. Wilsonian says:

    Damn you Yahoo and not having my poor man’s Jennings available to me…

  8. Jack the Ripper says:

    Ay-yay-yay, losing Cruz just in time for my h2h playoffs. Waiver-wire options are:
    -John Jay
    -David Murphy
    -Trayvon Robinson
    -Allen Craig (LaRussa HAS to start just throwing him out there, no?)
    -Brian Bogusevic
    -Seth Smith
    -Hideki Matsui

    What thinks you?

  9. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:for the playoffs,which SP would you want?

    Oswalt….vs ATL,@HOU,vs STL

    Wolf…[email protected],vs PHI,@CIN….these would be the relevant starts for them during my playoffs.

    also,I know you arent confident that Betancourt will keep the closers job for ROS,but for the next two weeks or so which would you go with Betancourt or Motte?

  10. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    one more question….assuming Rizzo gets recalled,who do you want ROS Goldschmidt or Rizzo?

    12 team 5×5 h2h

  11. weas says:

    Should I drop Salas for Motte? H2H playoffs so I need saves over the next 3 weeks.

  12. Chuckles Tiddlesworth says:

    Keep it smooth. Me, “Hey, Sweetcakes, wanna see that new Brad Pitt movie?” Her, “Oh, Tiddly, I love you!” Her, later that night, “Ooh, Brad!”

  13. CT Old School says:

    Have you ever considered &rey? Or ¢rey?

  14. Eng says:

    The Viciedo comments were hilarious. I concur with Lawrie too, he and Jennings will form the backbone of my 2012 youth infusion. Only thing holding me back is I find it hard to root for Lawrie- what a total tool.

  15. jonnycat says:

    Glancing at my team stats for yesterday I was disappointed that my ERA was almost 4. Then I looked closer. That’s my WHIP! Scherzer!!! I got skinned alive on the whipping post.

  16. Slam says:

    Would you start Hellickson tonight? First time against Texas in Texas

  17. Salty Balty says:

    Start Stauffer @ LAD? 14 team roto. 30 over the innings limit and 200 innings left overall, but I have Verlander and Cain as my only “must starts.” Otherwise its Scherzer, Luebke, Chacin, and Minor.

  18. 101 MPH says:

    I’ve been following Billy Butler’s “progress” for five seasons now. The only thing this schmohawk is hungry for is a Big Mac combo meal.


  19. SFGiants25 says:

    Hey Grey,

    Ackley or Butler?
    Soriano or Duda?
    Valencia or Seager?

  20. Garfunkle says:

    Start Edwin Jackson @MIL today?

  21. zzzzzz says:

    Who would you rather have? J-Upton for $20 or Jennings for $1 for next year?

  22. The Burghler says:

    12 team head to head 7×7 with ops, ks

    Beltran or BJ Upton?

  23. Clueless says:

    Hey Grey,

    If you had to choose one if you really needed Wins/K’s and were somewhat punting ERA/WHIP what would you choose:

    Lackey: @NYY, TEX at home
    Cahill: @CLE, SEA at home
    or Middle Reliever

    Thanks in advance.



  24. ACME says:

    Willingham, B. Allen, Schafer or Duda?

  25. Furious says:

    The lack of any other options also helps the Royals keep Gordon in the leadoff spot. For all this talk about their renewed offense they still have a #3 hitter batting leadoff. Ugh, I hate that I root for them every night.

    1B, OF, Util spot (6 players, 5 spots): Freeman, Lind (OF, 1B), McCutchen, Holliday, Stanton, Jennings. Planning on leaving Lind on my bench?

  26. Larry says:

    Vazquez vs NYM, Stauffer vs. LAD and Vogelsong vs. CHC.
    Could you rank for today’s starts.

  27. Bob says:

    I’m in a league where ERA/WHIP are really, really tight.
    I can gain 4 points by reducing my WHIP 0.03
    I can gain 4 points by reducing my ERA 0.15

    I have 165 IP remaining under the innings cap, and I have a collection of great pitchers.

    Cliff Lee, Ricky Romero, Ian Kennedy, Shaun Marcum, Matt Garza and Brandon Beachy.

    Plus some closers/RP (Nunez, CoCo, Farnsworth, Hanrahan, Clippard)

    So basically I’m very sensitive to ratios at this point in the season. That said, would you start Garza @SF and Marcum vs StL today? Both? Neither?


  28. Mark says:

    How many starts (if any) do you see Matt Moore making in September? Worth dropping Pestano for in spec (Potential Saves for Pestano are pretty meaningless for me at this poing, I have him for a K/IP booster mostly, but could use the extra innings if Moore will be picking them up)?

    Also, Jordan Schafer or Dee Gordon ignoring position and just for SB (I have them both, with Gordon on the DL, but he’ll be activated Thursday and I probably need to choose one or the other).

  29. TravestyJones says:

    Looking to get a sense for my keepers next year, before the trade deadline. We keep 3, at least 1 offense and 1 SP, and forfeit the pick the player was most recently selected in (assume you can keep multiple players in the 21st round). Here are the ones I’m thinking about for next year:

    Votto (1st round, 12th pick overall)
    Cueto (13th round, 145th pick overall)
    Wainwright (21st round, 144th pick overall)
    Lawrie (21st round, 144th pick overall)
    Gordon (21st round, 144th pick overall)
    Hamels (4th round, 37th pick overall)

  30. Joel says:


    I have Beltran, and unfortunately have not yet followed ur sage advice from earlier last week to cut his sorry a__. I now am moving in that direction, though. However, his RF elig is important to me. Q: is there any way John Mayberry remains relevant enough when Ibanez comes back to cut Beltran for him? if not, any other young stud RFs you could suggest? THANKS

  31. prince of dahkness says:

    Please rank ROS: Minor, Billingsley, Scherzer, Wells
    H2H points league so high K’s are good, ERA doesn’t really matter

  32. DHill Dragons says:

    Your WOW stat of the day:

    Everyone loves to look at batting average and Home Runs, but one criminally underrated stat that barely gets mentioned is total extra base hits. In Brett Lawrie’s first 81 AB’s of his young career he’s had 13 extra base hits. Multiplying that out over 400 AB’s would give him 65 extra base hits!

    Here’s a look at some studs from this season and how many extra base hits they have in their 400+ AB’s so far…

    J. Upton 66 XBH in 506 AB’s
    Braun 65 in 455
    Tulowitzki 65 in 496
    Bautista 62 in 420
    Kemp 60 in 495
    Fielder 60 in 474
    Pujols 53 in 465

    Assuming that Lawrie could hit at or near his current clip, he would average more XBH’s per AB than any of the stars mentioned above.

  33. Would you consider cutting Maybin in H2H playoffs? I don’t want to because it’s a keeper league. But on the other hand, I don’t know when he will be back and I need to start streaming pitchers because Scherzer and his ugly face shat all over my ratios. WWGD?

  34. AL KOHOLIC says:

    i have cruz in a keeper league,why arent they putting him on the dl yet

  35. Hooch says:


    Do I cut bait on Cuddyer? I’m in the heat of a race for 1st and could use as much production as possible from the roster spot. He’s been great this year but the only thing that matters now is the next month. Thoughts?

  36. aj says:

    would you start phil hughes in boston?
    is he worth a roster spot in a 14 team 5×5 roto league?

  37. Joel says:

    Grey: in my 12 team h2h league, playoffs are coming up. I rotate Helton and freeman in my UT position. Would u cut helton for Dayan Viciedo or Kyle Seager? Which would be better? THANKS!

  38. Scott says:

    Minor or Peavy?

  39. Wilsonian says:

    The Stras-Man Cometh (next Tuesday, probably). Do I drop Latos for him?

  40. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    btw….Grey and/or anyone else:10 team 8×8 keeper,who would you want right now Moore or Bauer?

  41. WDE05 says:

    So is Eric Young Jr. only going to start a couple of days a week? Picked him up last week and he hasn’t started a game since then. Pretty typical result for a WW pickup for me.

  42. Wilsonian says:

    Picked up Morrison when someone dropped him. He’s been kinda worthless. Hang on to him, or drop him for Carp, Moreland, Murphy, Mayberry?

  43. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:10 team 8×8….I dont necessarily need the K’s,I have Price,Felix,Ubaldo,Latos,Beachy,Pineda and D. Hudson already.Im mostly concerned w/ ERA/WHIP and QS.Would it be smart to drop Scherzer for Fister?

  44. EG says:

    Schafer, Bourgeios, T. Plush or Revere for SB? Thanks.

  45. Eddy says:

    Word is Hanley felt discomfort and had to be replaced in his minor-league rehab.

  46. Exactly says:

    Hey Grey, speculating on pitchers and don’t need tabata…p/u wells or freddy garcia and drop tabata?

  47. Exactly says:

    Hey Grey, speculating on pitchers and don’t need tabata…p/u wells or freddy garcia and drop tabata?

    Also, need MIs, choose 2 out of A. Hill, Infante, Polanco, Aybar?

  48. Exactly says:

    sorry about the repeat…sad face.

  49. Steve says:

    Um, I know Nunez probably needs the work, but is this really a good idea?

  50. Steve says:

    OMG Stauffer.

  51. Wilsonian says:

    Do you think the Scosciapath gives solid ABs to Trout? He’s got a pretty sick line for the night…

  52. jack says:

    Stauffer just ruined my night, my week, my season. that was the worst, the absolute worst outing I have ever seen. he should be demoted tonight, or checked into a hospital, or something. WOW

  53. Steve says:

    Oh – it’s THAT Jerome Williams pitching for the Angels.

    Nice to see him back. I remember seeing him dominate the Cardinals back in the day – when you didn’t start anyone against the Cardinals.

  54. Steve says:

    Dodgers better get a grip of their shizz here.

  55. jack says:

    @Steve … Madson’s 6 run explosion also sadly comes to mind. Let’s see without the Stauffer, Ubaldo, and Madson explosions over the past 2.5 weeks my ERA would be a full .10 lower and I’d be sitting pretty for the championship. As it stands, I need a month of 2.5 ERA and 1.00 WHIP and lots of wins to pull it off. Might be possible … had a 2.85 and 1.14 (it’s 3.47 and 1.21 now, ouch!) at the all star break, but I’ve lost JJ, Hanson, B Anderson, traded Ian Kennedy ….

  56. Lines says:

    @Grey: Last week when I said I didn’t think Stauffer looked all that strong, you called me a hater. Good call, Karnak. At the moment, I hate the crap out of him.

    There’s a few options on the wire, so I’m gettin ready to revenge-drop Stauffer. He might be fine the rest of the way, but his strikeout-to-meltdown ratio isn’t what I need in the H2H playoffs.

    Also, Francisco Cervelli is a tool, and deserved to get plunked.

  57. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:

    I sat EJax for Stauffer.

    Went about as well as drafting Morneau and Liriano in the fifth and six rounds.

    TLR strikes again with Salas/Motte. Somebody please fire him already.

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