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In Prospect Itch’s last news report on Sunday, he said, “Athletics RHP Mason Miller was sitting 100 mph in his Friday night start. He struck out 11 batters over five perfect innings and probably belongs in Oakland’s rotation already. I doubt he’ll get there soon. Always tougher to predict these cases where service time–not skill–is the primary determinant of a prospect’s timeline. If it was up to me, I’d just punch Grey’s face all day.” What on earth? So, Itch is right and wrong. Mason Miller was called up to start today, and it is hard to predict these things. I would’ve also guessed the A’s never call up Mason Miller, because the A’s are playing for a one-way ticket to Vegas. Shows you how much pull the Freemasons really have. *pulls string on conspiracy board* If a Mason is a builder in stone, and the team name is in his name as M-A’s-on, then he’s Gavin Stone on the A’s. Whoa, doggie! So, Miller’s minor league stats are hilarious in a good and bad way. He’s got potential to have a 15+ K/9, and might stay healthy for 15 innings total. Since 2021, he has 28 2/3 IP. Oh…*marches to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro*…kay. He’s worth a flyer, but I wouldn’t expect many innings. Only way Mason Miller’s getting 2 W’s with that team before the All-Star Break is if he’s turned upside down. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nick SolakBraves claimed him and now they will figure out how this equates to sending Grissom back down. I’m only half-joking.

Sean Murphy – 2-for-4, 3 runs and his 4th homer, and, what? His 4th homer since d’Arnaud went down? Snitker will seem like a genius, but he really just stepped in it. Of course, Murphy’s better! It’s why they traded for him!

Matt Olson – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, hitting .296. Let’s not forget I said Olson could win the NL MVP. Or let’s forget if he starts to fade.

Nick Lodolo – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA at 4.98. Welp, there you go, you ding dongs! He got hit! Are you happy?!

Yandy Diaz – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer. I hate relying on Launch Angle changes. If we learn nothing from Yelich, besides being a guy who has a hot mom, we should learn it is very hard to trust Launch Angle changes.

Taylor Walls – 4-for-5, 4 runs, 4 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer. More like over-the-Walls! Heck yeah! High five me! No? Okay. Obviously two homers goes a long to a hot schmotato alert.

Taj Bradley – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.61, as he was recalled. Taj in anywhere, spicy! I’ve given you a Taj Bradley fantasy already. Yes, he’s a pickup everywhere.

Randy Arozarena – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 4th homer. Wish I drafted only Rays players. But enough about me, let’s talk more about your teams!

Jeffrey Springs – Hit the IL and they changed their diagnosis from a flexor sprain to a strain, then downgraded him to Tommy John surgery. Um, okay.

Eduardo Rodriguez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.00. That’s the best start from EdRod in four* years. *Nah, it feels that way, but I’m being unkind. This is now back-to-back solid starts. I’d still use the Streamonator for him, but monocle’ing now for his next start.

Kerry Carpenter – 3-for-9, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, as he walked off the 1st game of the doubleheader. The doubleheader, or as it’s known colloquially, the Jennifer Connelly in Requiem for a Dream.

Riley Greene – 4-for-9, 2 runs and a steal (2) in the day game, and a homer (2) in the later day game for the Ernie Banks slam & legs! Just one day after I dropped him in my RCL league. Nice work, Lothario!

Peyton Battenfield – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.69. Welp, time to take another look at him. Cutter looks excellent, but it was vs. the Tigers, so that needs to be considered, and, woof, his peripherals look terrible. I wouldn’t even use the Streamonator for him.

Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .242. Last year he didn’t hit his 3rd homer until May 16th and he still had a fantasy outfielder number five season.

Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (5). He hit that homer into the third deck. What a monster shot. That power and his speed and I see people in the comments asking about trading him away. Incredible.

Edward Cabrera – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.08. The real takeaway here is only two walks allowed. The other takeaway is he was in a two-run hole in the 1st and held on. There’s no third takeaway.

Alex Wood – Grabbed the back of his leg after fielding a bunt. Weird time for charades, but I will give it a shot! Grabbing Wood leg…a Pirate? Johnny Depp? A face of dread? Johnny Depp and dreads? A movie? Sounds like Dread Wood? Ed! Ed Wood! That was a tough one.

Chris Sale – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 8.00. Sell Sale by the seashore (and inland) on the back of this start.

Sonny Gray – 5 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 0.82. Someone asked yesterday if they should start Gray. He allowed one run coming into this game. If you’re not starting that, what are you starting? Only Gerrit Cole?

Josiah Gray – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 3.74. It is our time! Gray’s time! Finally!

Dean Kremer – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 6.16. Saw an Orioles pitcher was doing well and I was like, “Well, I know that’s not Grayson.” It was our time! Gray’s time! Wha’ happened?

Carlos Rodon – Sent for more tests because his back is barking. Okay, who let the dogs out on Rodon’s back.

Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (4) and legs (1). Glad he was in my pitching slot still for that two-inning start on Monday!

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 2nd homer. Au Shizz!

Willson Contreras – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st and 2nd homer, hitting .254. Ah, yes, paying for catcher always pays off, said very few people ever.

Jordan Montgomery – 4 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.84. I think that actually lowered my ERA in some leagues. Beginning to think I should bench all pitchers in April. I always think this when it’s already too late.

Gabriel Moreno – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer. *holds mirror to nose and it barely fogs up* Stop ordering that Hyundai hearse! He’s alive!

Drey Jameson – 3 2/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 2.25. Meh, he’s still getting stretched out. I’m choosing to ignore.

Andrew Chafin – 1/3IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.68. Stop, saves daddy, the pain is too much. Miguel Castro (1/3 IP, ERA at 2.25) recorded his first save, and he’s actually the one I’d peg as having the best chance for saves in Arizona, but I doubt it’s just that easy or that he’s the closer going forward. Takes MLB managers a good three weeks to figure out anything.

Brad Keller – 4 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.00. If anyone says the Royals have fixed any of their pitchers — don’t believe them.

Adolis Garcia – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .203. Starting to hear rumblings about people wanting to sell Adolis. Yeah, a guy who can go 30/20. Mmmkay. Sorry, that was supposed to be “and K.” But he’s still valuable.

Marcus Semien – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 3rd straight game with a homer. Someone get a towel because Semien is exploding!

Nathan Eovaldi – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.40. Hot dog! Nathan’s good! This is me trying to get a sponsorship. Please ignore.

Chris Bassitt – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.40. Sonavabench! Now he chooses to be good?! In Houston? You can’t make this shizz up. His velocity was up too. As I’ve now said more than once, I think we stop worrying about in velocity in April when it’s cold everywhere.

Matt Chapman – 2-for-4 and his 5th homer, hitting .415. *pokes Ted Williams’s frozen head with a stick* Hey, wake up man, someone’s challenging .400.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer, hitting .357. Cake Batter backing that thing up!

Chas McCormick – Hit the IL with back soreness. Interesting made-up injury for a guy who had vision problems for the last five days.

Jack Suwinski – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 3rd and 4th homer, and three homers in the last two games. Hot schmotato alert!

Kris Bryant – 1-for-5 and his 3rd homer, and 2nd homer in the last two games. *quietly into my dreamcatcher* Just stay healthy.

Christian Yelich – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .240. Kris Bryant followed by Christian Yelich in the blurbs like it’s 2016. I’m With Her!

Marcus Stroman – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 0.75. Streamonator loved this start, and hates his next, and I think that’ll finally be a test, or if he owns, and it becomes the Stromanator.

Brett Baty – Didn’t start. Yeah, he played one full game in a row, so can’t wear him out. This is the worry I had when he was called up, and you can read it in my Brett Baty fantasy from the other day. Buck Showalter is an old idiot and he will continue to play Escobar vs. lefties and screw up Baty’s development and fantasy value.

Carlos Carrasco – Hit the IL with elbow inflammation. Honestly, this sounds like good news to me. We can stop pretending like he’s fine and looking at matchups for him, where he gets rocked, and just drop him.

J.D. Martinez – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 2nd and 3rd homer. Just Dong, because it’s in his name!

Lance Lynn – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 7.59. You’d think someone with his body shape would be more inclined to eat some of those meatballs he keeps throwing to hitters.

Lucas Giolito – 6 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 1 walk, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.29, as he was pulled with a no-hitter because the only pitchers who still wear big boy pants are Manoah and Lynn and that is more literal than figurative. Giolito looked excellent, he said expositionally. He went from a high of 94.6 MPH on his speed ball to down to 91.3; four miles per hour separating his sliders and changes, too. Locating and mixing speeds well, and you have an effective Giolito. Does he stay this way? Magic Eight Ball is cloudy.

Jake Burger – 1-for-6, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer. His home run was the 2nd hardest hit homer of the year. What goes with a hot schmotato? A Burger and flies.

Zack Wheeler – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.79. Like a stripper in a true crime podcast, Wheeler got singled to death. Not that I need to make excuses for Wheeler or Lynn, they should be better, but the White Sox/Phils defense looks they have the range of a person sitting in a folding chair.

Jose Alvarado – 1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks, ERA at 1.23, and his 1st save. It’s always interesting how long it takes MLB managers to figure who should be their closer. Rob Thomson only took about a week. Good for him!

Josh Harrison – 3-for-6, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer. Fun Fact! The Rappin Duke calls him Jo-Ha Jo-Ha.