Last week, Grayson Rodriguez threw 89 MPH the other day, and people were like, “That’s cool, he’s working on a knuckleball. Right? Right….?” Only those dots after the 2nd “Right” lasted for 48 hours, until someone poked the speaker to see if they were still alive, they weren’t. Thankfully, they were resuscitated! Whew! Checking in with the Grayson Rodriguez Fan Club, which is in the backroom of a Maryland-area Kiwanis Club where they’ve printed Grayson Rodriguez Fan Club on the back of a Matt Wieters Fan Club sign — not a great omen! — and they said Grayson was just working on something and his velocity is nothing to be concerned about. It’s only eight to nine miles per hour off his uze. Nothing to see here! So, I docked him 40 IP, but I imagine the next step is taking him out of the rankings completely as he goes for surgery or is shut down. He was updated in the top 60 starters and pitchers pairing tool. You’re crazy if you still draft him. At any ranking. Cade Povich would be an interesting addition to the O’s rotation, and I would’ve likely ranked him in the top 500 if he were in the rotation back in January, but Rudy has him ranked around 1050 in his auction values, and I can’t see him as anymore than a flyer at the end of drafts. In more unfortunate news, George Kirby is out with shoulder inflammation, and will start the year on the IL. I could see drafting him now if you have those sweet, sweet marbles in your head. The marbles that you think are Gobstoppers but you bite on them and they crack all your teeth. That’s what you have in your head. Marbles disguised as Gobstoppers. Just jingo-jangling up in your cranium, bouncing into each other and making the sound, “Dur.” His ranking and projections updated in the top 20 starters. Also, goes without saying (which I say before saying) but Rudy updates all preseason auction values with every bit of news. Everything gets updated a dozen times per day. For Rudy, Kirby falls to the 150 range for 12 team leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2025 fantasy baseball:
Gunnar Henderson – Orioles finally announced that Gunnar has an intercostal strain. Hate the intercostal. In ten years, there will be no more intercostal, due to climate change, and I welcome it. So, I did research as one does, and the average time for an intercostal strain is 27 days. Okay, I didn’t do the research, a guy by name of Derek Rhoads did the research, but I did the research to find Derek, so same diff.
Mitch Garver is on the IL with an intercostal strain. Unclear on severity but looks like in the past players on the IL with that designation have missed from 13-61 days with a median of 27. pic.twitter.com/5X0CTOFhDa
— Derek Rhoads (@drhoa3) August 20, 2020
That’s an old tweet (are they still called that?), but it’s not like intercostals have changed since then (after changing from the 90’s to exist at all). This is very tricky. Players have missed anywhere from two weeks to two months with an intercostal strain. Taking the Orioles and Gunnar’s word for it that it is not severe, and he should be ready for Opening Day. This is based on trickery and voodoo that is unreliable (unless you’re about to bite the head off a chicken, then, well, let’s see…) Can’t possibly tell you to draft him 5th anymore though, so he was dropped in the rankings. This reminds me of when everyone dropped Ohtani in the rankings last March because he was returning from elbow surgery and we were unsure how that would affect his swing. Spoiler Alert: Not a lot! So, I dropped Gunnar a couple of spots in the top 10, and shaved two weeks off his projections.
Felix Bautista – Unclear if he starts the year with the O’s or spends a few weeks getting up to speed. Wasn’t drafting him before this news, not interested now. His handcuff seemed to be Andrew Kittredge, star of BBC’s Kittredge, but he was removed from the rankings (knee surgery) and now my next highest ranked Orioles reliever is Keegan Akin, which is akin to a nightmare, but not nearly as much as the people I see grabbing Seranthony Dominguez.
Prelander Berroa – Removed Prelander Berroa (needs Tommy John surgery) from rankings, gave his saves to Gus Varland in the top 500, but not sure it matters in the White Sox pen. If a closer falls in a pen of a team that never wins a game, does it make a sound?
Austin Slater – Out 2-3 weeks with an oblique strain. White Sox aren’t going to take any risks with their big free-agent addition.
Gerrit Cole – Had tests done on his elbow and they recommended him for Tommy John surgery. Listen, I have sympathy for people who drafted Kirby or Grayson, prior to the injury news, I have zero for Cole drafters. I told you not to draft him — Gerrit Cole overrated — and it was pretty clear from all his pitching last year he was not right. I go over the reasons in that post that some chose to ignore; I’m sure they’ll ignore it again, so moving on! I removed him from the starter rankings, and I imagine soon the news will hit that he’s having the surgery that he should’ve had almost exactly 12 months ago.
Giancarlo Stanton – With news that he’ll either have elbow surgery or just be out a long time, he was removed from the top 500. [turns on adult contemporary station] I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough…cause here we are back to where we were before…[screaming] SEEMS NOTHIN’ EVER CHANGES!!![sobbing and snorting]WE’RE BACK TO BEING STRANGERS!!!
DJ LeMahieu – Likely out at least a few weeks with a strained calf. What Evil Cow wrought.
Aaron Ashby – Strained oblique. That’ll knock him out for two weeks or two years. Likely somewhere in-between. “Where in-between” is a question posed during a sidequest that is unanswerable. He wasn’t updated in the top 100 starters, because he never had a full season of innings anyway.
Adolis Garcia – Dealing with a very minor oblique strain, which sounds like it won’t affect his ability to be ready for Opening Day. Wyatt Langford is also dealing with an oblique injury — most be going around the clubhouse — and Wyatt’s is more serious, but also minor enough that it seems like it won’t sideline him into the season. We shall see. Or not!
Christian Walker – Dealing with oblique soreness. Hey, whoever invented the oblique should eff all the way off.
Jose Iglesias – Signed with the Padres. Interesting, they must be thinking about the future, they only have Bogaerts signed through the year 2077.
Francisco Alvarez – Hand fracture and will miss six to eight weeks. I never ever never ever draft a catcher high, but in draft I’m currently in I was like, “I wanna feel something, let me try Francisco Al–” and I didn’t even finish his name. That was how excited I was to draft him. Then, I felt gross, and a day later he was out for two months. Only other time this preseason when I felt that catcher urge, I drafted Sean Murphy. Things that are not going well for $400! Speaking of Murphy, he had a decent replacement and was added to the catcher rankings. Alvarez has Torrens, which sounds like an app to download a Soundcloud. Catchers rankings were updated for Alvarez, and, because he was the 12th best catcher, someone had to be moved up, that was O’Hoppe.
Scott Kingery – In contention to win shortstop job. Guess the team he plays for. I’ll give you two guesses. It’s all you should need. It’s either the Angels or Rockies. This time it’s the Angels. Oh, and Tim Anderson could be their starting centerfielder, and…[he continued to mumble as he pulled his Angels cap low over his eyes and walked into the ocean].
Luis Rengifo – May not be ready for Opening Day, due to a hammy. Was this guy made in Venice, Italy because he’s made of glass. The worst part isn’t that I’ve already drafted him; the worst part is I have to hear about it from BDon.
Jurickson Profar – Undergoing a CT scan on his wrist, and results will be known today. Wouldn’t have drafted him in any league, but if you did for a “safe guy with counting stats,” then you should be a cat burgular because you’re safe cracking.
Matt Mervis – Seems to be in the lead for the strong side of the Marlins’ 1B job, and I almost wrote “Merkins,” and that’s the most fun we’re getting out of Mervis.
Jordan Walker – Jammed his knee when he tripped over a sprinkler head. A water-related injury feels like my fault:
— Razzball (@Razzball) February 19, 2025
Chase DeLauter – Sidelined roughly three months with core surgery. Who knew he was an apple? I did not. Top 100 outfielders updated.
Wilyer Abreu – Could miss Opening Day after eating bad fish. Was he doing a staged adaptation of Airplane?
