The Padres traded Franchy Cordero to the Royals. Vincent Vega, “Franchy calls them the Royales with cheese.” If Padres keep trading away fun ballplayers, then Fernando Tatis Jr. better watch himself aka FTJ aka Fun The Jewels. First, the easy side of this trade. With Franchy packing up his red, white and blue flag (no stars), the Padres have an opening for Edward Olivares. They wouldn’t dare, would they? If they dared, then I might be interested. In Double-A last year, he went 18/35/.283, but he was a tad old at that level. Still those numbers are eye-poppers. His overall value until then was of a 4th outfielder (IRL, not IFL). Our Prospectonator (it projects every single rookie) has him down for 14/22/.244 over 162-game season. That’s honestly not bad. I don’t know if Olivares sees any actual playing time, or enough to make him worthwhile. I have added him to today’s Buy column that will be up in a few hours. Yes, that’s right! There’s a Buy this afternoon! Exclamation! (It was released yesterday to our Patreons.) My guess is Wil Myers, Tommy Pham and Trent Grisham are the outfield; Josh Naylor is the DH with, I guess, Ty France, and Edward Olivares is the 4th outfielder. With Franchy headed from the ocean to a-near-a-riverderci, he goes to an equally terrible hitters’ park, and likely still in a platoon. Only now his platoon is less about outfielders needing looks. Against righties, Maikel Franco possibly moves to the bench, and Hunter Dozier takes over third. But vs. lefties, Maikel gets in at third, Dozier moves to the outfield and Franchy is out of the lineup again. It’s pretty flat on fantasy value movement. But, as Franchy was told by Ty France, “If we are going to get men to wear berets, we’re gonna have to spread out.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw for fantasy baseball:

Austin Meadows – Tested positive for Covid, but have no idea when that was. He’s been out of camp since…Well, was he ever in camp? Meadows and Summer Camp sounds like a dream, except for ticks. Bro, ticks be mucking up my good times! And viruses. And ankles. Get rid of ticks, viruses and give everyone cankles! Fixed ya, world! So, because I have no idea how long Meadows has actually been sick, I don’t know when he is going to return. It could be by Monday, it might be September.

Charlie Blackmon – Returned from the IL, then went back to the IL, but I have clarification from a Rockies’ beat writer. Not sure why no one is talking about this, but it does not mean Blackmon is actually sick again. It was a procedural move, and Blackmon is fine for start of season.

Evan Longoria – Has a moderate oblique strain. So, his oblique votes red for fiscal issues and blue for social? I’m guessing Longoria will be out a while, but haven’t heard yet. Good thing Pablo Sandoval gained weight, because with Belt and Longoria out, he’s playing the whole infield.

Isiah Kiner-Falefa – Leading candidate for Rangers’ 3rd base job. Falefa said, “I pita the fool who gets in my way!” I guess if he has catcher eligibility in your league there’s worse fliers, but, honestly, not that many worse. IKF is more like IDGAF for fantasy. “Too bad for Todd Frazier, that douche.” That’s Adam Eaton.

Jose Peraza – Will be the Red Sox 2nd baseman. Rain your fantasy value down on my head you sweet, sweet Lord of fantasy! Sweet, Sweet Lord of Fantasy, “Shut up.” Ouch, that hurts. So, I had Peraza as the starter, but this could hurt Michael Chavis a little. Chavis might be okay with 1st base at-bats and some 2nd base when Peraza floats to other positions. It’s not great for Chavis though, if I’m being honest, and for a change I am.

Eduardo Rodriguez – Hit the 10-day IL, but is feeling better and hopes to return soon. Is it me or have 10-day IL stints not really been 10-days long? Or am I being optimistic because I have more Ed-Rod shares than a scientologist?

Miguel Sano – Returns from the IL. Sano said, “I L’d, but Gonzalez won’t be marred with this win.” Damn, Sano is poetic. Welcome back, you wild chunk machine, I love you!

Julio Rodriguez – Has a hairline fracture in his left wrist. Thanks, worst timeline!

Dee Gordon – M’s said they can’t comment on why Gordon is not in camp. More mystery than is in a Dum-Dum Mystery-flavored lollipop.

Lewis Brinson – Hit the IL. That’s a real sha–Wait a second, why wasn’t Jon Berti moved into the starting lineup on Roster Resource?! A little birdy told me Berti, Berti, Berti, Berti…RoboGrey…begins…to…overheat…must…oil…joints. Berti will be in this afternoon’s Buy, even if his starting job isn’t secure.

Matt Joyce – Also hit IL for the Fightin’ Fish. If I can take a moment from my dire warnings to the Marlins to please play Berti, this is also good for Garrett Cooper.

Travis Shaw – Might not be ready to play the field at the start of the season. Lucky the AL added the DH about 40 years ago.

Juan Soto – Has reported to camp. Sexy Dr. Pepper reporting for duty, sir!

Matt Andriese – In line to be the Los Angeles of Anaheim that’s nowhere near Los Angeles, uh, Angels’ 5th starter. Ohtani’s listed as the third starter, but he’ll also be the 6th starter, 2nd starter, 1st right and left fielder and 1st and 2nd DH. Clear?

Jo Adell – News out of camp is starting to sound like the Angels will be dragging their heels on Adell. Great stuff, really terrific. Where’s the nearest wall for me to bang my head?

Willie Calhoun – While Calhoun’s out temporarily with a sore hip, Nick Solak will see everyday playing time. Willie or will he never stay healthy? That is the question.

JaCoby Jones – Out with oblique tightness. That really stinks (I don’t care at all, is it obvious?). This could be good news for Victor Reyes, who could help with steals and batting average. That’s a pretty iffy recommendation, though.

Derek Dietrich – Added to the Reds’ player pool. Yes! I had him in a deep NL-Only league, and this is really all about me.

Joe Smith – Opted out. Wish the Astros had the courage to say who really opted out vs the alias.