In Fantasy Baseball, it doesn’t matter if it’s daily or redraft, strikeouts hand out nerd boners. Don’t worry, straight fantasy baseball players, it’s not a gay thing (not that there’s anything wrong with that). It comes down to playing a sport that is built for strikeouts dominating your pitching desires and in fact, I’d say in daily fantasy a 10 K day would have you bordering on priapism. So pardon me while I go back to the Trevor Bauer well with you. Yes, we’ve done this before and with success. For some reason, Trevor at home feels…well, at home as he has a 3.32 ERA, 9.11 K/9 and a .309 wOBA against at Progressive Field. Obviously he’s not perfect at home – he does have a 1.34 WHIP and a 3.6 BB/9 ratio there – but for the price of $6,500, you could have yourself 10 K. Oh, I see that got you all flushed. So go light some candles, sprinkle rose petals around the laptop you build your DK lineups on and put on some appropriate music to anoint the mood while you anoint yourself with other things…ahhhh yeah. Maybe his start will be so successful, you can afford the plumber to fix your wife’s leaky pipes and order an extra large italian sausage pizza like she’s always asked for. Bet she’d like that. But before our ‘innuendo’ turns into ‘in your end hole’, let’s get this show rolling. Here’s Razzball’s picks for today’s slate…

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Andrew Cashner, SP: $6,600 – For the first time in what seems like forever, I actually like all the 10K+ guys today.  But I don’t think writing about them actually helps you except for maybe ranking them based on price and expectation so here: deGrom, Lester, Zimmerman, Scherzer.  Alright, that’s done, now on with the show.  I think this might be a contrarian play with a good pitcher.  More people will be on Roberto Hernandez than they will be on Cash and this one figures to be a low-scoring affair.  Low-scoring affair?  We judging how well someone practices their infidelity?  I give Kristen Stewart a 1.7 out of 10.  Oh and she’s a terrible actress.  Suck it, Twihards!

Collin McHugh, SP: $9,700 – After shutting down a hot-hitting Angels lineup in LAA LAA land, it’s hard to not at least point out there’s not much wrong with going a little under the 10K guys.  Speaking of 10K?  That’s very possible for McHugh on the night: he owns a 1.96 road ERA and a 9.17 K/9 ratio on the road against LHBs.  The Mariners got, like, seven of those in their lineup on most nights.  I’m thinking Collin is underowned tonight and should perform on par with the big boys.  I’d start with confidence.

Michael Wacha, SP: $8,500 – Don’t do it.  Yes, I’m like the anti-Nike slogan over here.  Wacha is coming off an injury and is on a pitch count, only going three innings in his first start back.  You can find better ways to spend $8,500.  I mean, hookers and blow would be a better investment with that kind of dough.  I’ll tell ya wacha I want, Wacha really, really want.  I want you to stay away from this start.

Yusmeiro Petit, SP: $6,700 – Though the D-Backs haven’t been striking out a ton, their wOBA over the last seven, 14, and 30 days has been bottom five in the league.  We’re not talking about a team that looks like it’ll go off at any moment, is what I’m trying to say here.  Plus, the current Vegas moneyline is loving on Yusmeiro in the same range it’s loving on Scherzer and deGrom.  Good company there and at this price, he’s petit larceny.

Mark Buehrle, SP: $5,300 – Remember when they were talking Cy Young early in the year for hurling Buerhle?  Don’t worry if you missed it, it was just E$PN slinging Skip Bayless-sized nonsense at the masses and calling it sports news.  Whatevs, I could see the young Cubs hitters being off-balance going from a flame-thrower like Stroman – shameless ‘I called it yesterday’ plug – to crafty, fast-working, grizzled vet Mark.  Considering his upside is probably 25 points, I would call him a tourney play only but I would say he is in play which many won’t think he is.

Kole Calhoun, OF: $4,500 – Unfortch, there’ll probably be a lot of eyes on Kole after a 28 DK performance on Monday but the matchup is hard to ignore.  Colby Lewis and the Boos is the hometown band name vs opposing lefties as he gives it up to southies at a .441 wOBA clip in Arlington.  Consider this a ‘if you wanna be cheap and they’re in the lineup’ shout out for Efren Navarro (1B, $2,200), Brennan Boesch (OF, $2,100), and Hank Conger (C, $2,400).  I really wish I could say Josh Hamilton here but his hitting has given me the sads.

Jose Altuve, 2B: $5,200 – Roenis Elias, if that’s his real name, would be on pace for 21 HRs to opposing RHBs if he could pitch 200 innings at home.  Doesn’t seem that crazy, I know, but the big thing to keep in mind here is the Astros have the 4th highest team wOBA and the 6th highest team ISO against southpaws this year.  This is one of those games that could turn a middling pitcher flaw into a huge offensive outburst.  Altuve and his .388 BA against lefties on the road will play well here but I’m looking to aggressively stack Astros.  This ain’t like my ‘go ultra-contrarian and stack on King Felix’ call last night.  This one is just the stats, ma’am.  Gimme Chris Carter, Dexter Fowler, and then go cheap with Carlos Corporan and Jonathan Villar if they’re in the lineup.

Buster Posey, C: $5,200 – Obviously, I’ve given you cheap pitching for a reason.  Don’t let the .261 BA at home vs lefties fool you, Posey still rakes against confederate arms with a .507 SLG% and a .246 ISO.  Typically I’d avoid throwing hitters out against Wade Miley on the road – go check those home/road splits…wow – but Buster is that special kind of player.  I’m willing to pay up here but I’m not reaching for any other Giants or going stackaliscious on Wade.

J.D. Martinez, OF: $4,200 – We’re going to stay on this ‘tell me where the left hander touched you cuz you clearly want to hurt them’ train and I’m gonna point out J.D.’s .292 ISO and .395 wOBA.  Everyone and their mother will be on Victor Martinez today since he rules the wOBA world against LHP but something tells me the other, lesser known lefty killing Martinez could get overlooked.  The reason is simple: very few know that ‘J.D.’ stands for ‘Just Dongs’.  Oh, and obvious Tigers stack is obvious.

Adrian Beltre, 3B: $4,300 – So much lefty crime on the write up today.  I swear it wasn’t intentional but it’s hard to overlook at .413 wOBA and a .964 OPS.  Beltre could belt one and I wouldn’t be surprised.

Oswaldo Arcia, OF: $3,800 – You hate my Bauer call.  Just admit it.  That’s ok, here’s your play against Sky’s grain call: Arcia is 3/5 with 2 HRs off Bauer.  Though the sample size be small, the results are big.  Oswaldo is an all or nothing kind of play but 3/5 with 2 HRs can be had in one game and those are big DK numbers.  Start with confidence if you lack confidence in me.

Carlos Santana, 3B/C: $4,500 – Cleveland rocks!  Well, actually they haven’t of late as their stats would tell you.  But sometimes a shaky young arm can cure what ails ya.  Santana and his 25 bombs would be a cornerstone of my CLE stack if I were to make one.  You know the other usual suspects but in case you don’t: Michael Brantley, Michael Bourn, Lonnie Chisenhall, Jason Kipnis, and Yan Gomes.  So when is DK gonna give Santana 1B eligibility so we can get him, Lonnie and Yan in the same game like the Indians have been doing since July?  Sheesh…

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

There are possible storms a-brewin in Brew town but they got one of them practical retractable roof thingies so no worries there.  We also have a 40% chance for scattered thunderstorms in the CWSvsOAK game.  Might be a good day to ignore Jon Lester despite the good matchup unless you can stay on top of the weather in Chi-town.

Doing Lines In Vegas

Vegas holds the TEXvsLAA game as the o/u prize of the day at 9.5 and given how many guys I mentioned, it’s hard to argue against it but I see no reason to truly stack here.  Though I didn’t mention any players, I will say the BOSvsBAL at 8.5 o/u looks mighty tempting from the Baltimore side with a rookie arm on the mound and the Orioles surging of late.  Meanwhile, Trevor May I score some runs off you is looking to be the loveable loser based on the moneyline in this game and the o/u is 8.5.  This could be a drubbing so give me the ‘o’ face here.  Meanwhile, the DETvsKC game is set at 7.5.  I think Detroit could have that many runs by the 3rd inning.  I’ll stay under in LA with the LADvsSD game at 7.

 
  1. J-FOH says:
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    So getting Sky post’s boners is OK too?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      As long as you don’t tell Grey. He might get jealous. Like Lorena Bobbit style.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: you keep us wanting more by not flashing us every day

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          @J-FOH: I charge per minute over the internet for my flashing.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: thats why I can’t play draft kings because my paypal is empty

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              @J-FOH: Work it till it’s worth it

  2. Wake Up says:
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    I didn’t comment here…

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      But if you did, it would’ve said ‘mom jeans’

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Sky: That still makes me smile to this day! Grey needs to do one of those Visual Radio things wearing some Mom Jeans and a fanny, just to spite us! We basically dare him to!

        I’m streaming Bauer today too.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          I know, I couldn’t find him in the FCL!

          I’m pretty sure we just need to catch Grey on a Wednesday for that.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: we need to get Jay to do some photoshopping with that one

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              @J-FOH: Don’t need photoshop for that; just to catch Grey in his element.

  3. Joe says:
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    Sky would you start Arrieta,degrom and cashner today? Iam in playoffs i need an advice

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Joe: I’m off Arrieta today. Alright with Cash/deGrom.

  4. Schoolboy P says:
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    Last stream of the year, pick one please:

    Peavy vs ARI
    Holland vs ATL

Comments are closed.