Zack Cozart is a pickup in all leagues where you need a middle infidel.  Go, I’ll wait here.  *scratches chin, yawns, covers mustache with two fingers to see what I look like without it, shakes head*  Welcome back!  Cozart hit 17 homers and stole 30 bases last year.  You know who that reminds me of?  No, not you in high school.  Let it go, man.  It reminds me of Danny Espinosa.  Danny has a bit more power and a bit less speed, but tomato-tomato with a different emphasis.  Cozart also comes with the same potential to be an average drain.  Also, Espinosa and Cozart sounds like a promising TNT drama starring Freddy Prinze Jr. and Stifler.  In real baseball (which is played with more crotch scratching, but less crotch grabbing), Cozart’s just okay.  A potential 15/20 guy (over the course of a whole season) at shortstop in fantasy baseball is a yes, please and thank you.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edinson Volquez – Optioned to Triple-A in hopes that Edinson can rediscover his electric stuff.  I have an idea for his rehab:  don’t let him pitch the first inning.

Dontrelle Willis – Will take Edinson’s spot on Sunday.  For those thinking about picking him up, I have a question for you — What’chu talkin’ about… Willis?!

Jason Heyward – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and a long overdue slam & legs.  As I was doing my top 100 for the 2nd half that will be posted next Tuesday, I was contemplating where to put Heyward because I thought he might still be injured.  This game was either a nice sign or Heyward messing with me.  Probably the former, if former means the first one.

Kyle Seager – The guy who sounds like an 80’s sitcom character is going to play the majority of 3rd base for the Mariners.  In related news, Chone Figgins will be out of baseball in less than two years.  Anyone want any action?  So Seager is a high average, just meh power and speed guy.  Kinda like a poor man’s Prado, or I guess that’s a Prado knockoff.  I’m not a huge fan of Prado so you can imagine how I feel about Seager.  It’s just a’ight in AL-Only leagues.

Jason Kendall – It looks like shoulder surgery will force him into retirement.  Much like Pudge, Kendall has moved long ago from an elite fantasy catcher.  But here are some crazy stats for you courtesy of Rudy:  Kendall is 3rd all-time amongst Catchers (80+% of games at catcher) in Hits and Times On Base (behind Pudge and Fisk).  That’s ahead of Berra, Bench, Piazza, Dickey, and Carter.  And his .366 OBP beats all the aforementioned catchers except Piazza.  He’s also 5th all time amongst all hitters in HBP.  But his lack of power puts his Wins Above Replacement lower than those catchers and a few other non-HOF catchers like Munson, Freehan, and Darrell “Big Frames” Porter.  Whew, because a Jason Kendall for HOF advocacy would be as joyless as owning him the past 7 years.  (Note from Grey:  One last time:  Much like a Ken doll, Kendall has no bat.)

Charlie Blackmon – Could miss the rest of the season with a fractured bone in his foot.  What?  This is baseball!  Not football!  (Though if you’re into fantasy football, Chet’s holding a contest where he’s giving away $300.  I’m guessing you’ll get it in unmarked pennies.  Now go check it out.)

Juan Nicasio – 2 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Mr. Obvious, “Nicasio can’t be relied on in any leagues right now.”

Wade Davis – To the 15-day DL with a forearm strain.  Maybe it was trying to be a fivearm.  Hamilton-Burrishly, Alex Cobb and Sonnanstine will now duel over Davis’s open rotation spot.

Lonnie Chisenhall – Was plunked in the face.  Eric Plunk, “You owe me a nickel for using that verb.”  Um, okay.  So this sounds like terrible news.  I’m beginning to think every hitter should wear Great Gazoo helmets.  As soon as I hear more news on Lonnie, I’ll repurpose the information with a bit of humor and let you know.

Josh Reddick – Hit his 2nd homer yesterday.  I’d say he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s not.  He’s here now, you need this shizz spoon-fed to you?

Andrew Miller – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 0 Ks.  He got lucky.  Now if you press your luck and start him again, you may get a whammy.

Mike Stanton – Now back-to-back games with a homer as he screamed in the baseball’s face a’la CT, “I will smoke you!”

Brad Hand – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks.  This comes after two starts where he didn’t get out of the fifth inning.  I’m not calling this start a liar, but I believe the last two starts more.  Also, Clay Hensley could take Hand’s spot in the rotation soon after the All-Star break.

Ben Zobrist – 8 for his last 12 with a home run yesterday.  BenZo looks to be rolling once again.

B.J. Upton – 2-for-4 with his 14th homer — not in this game, that would’ve been a record prior to the steroid era.  He also has 20 steals.  If he could just get his average up to .280, he’d be such a force.  I think I’m going all in on him next year when he’s 27.  Poppycock, you say. Okay, but what the eff is poppycock and why are you saying it?

Rich Harden – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Usually if he stays healthy, he’s dominant but this start was bleh.  Harden, “I can too stay healthy!  Ow!  I juth bit my lip when I said ‘eathy!”

Philip Humber – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Mmm-hmm.

Max Scherzer – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 2 Ks.  Sonavabench!  Hey, I know that impersonation — it’s Liriano, and I don’t like it.

Matt Garza – 2 IP, 6 ER as the Nats had an extravaGarza.  Watch your toes, everyone.  Garza continues to take steps backwards.  Garza’s xFIP was under 3.00 before this game.  Too bad I don’t freakin’ play in a league with xFIP.  I wish he’d just have an aggressive burp, throw out his back and go to the DL.

Frank Francisco – Recorded no outs and gave up 3 earned runs.  Looks like I don’t have to be embarrassed that I tattooed Rauch’s name on my fantasy baseball team’s neck.

Carlos Villanueva – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  After the break, the Blue Kays get the Yankees, Mariners, Rangers and Orioles respectively.  If Chuck Newtown gets the M’s and O’s, then nom nom.  If he gets the Yanks and Texas, then indigestion.

Cory Luebke – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks.  I’m flummoxed why I have to beg people to pick up certain pitchers.  BTW, you can’t spell flummoxed without the lox, which Eli Whiteside provides.

Jered Weaver – 9 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks.  ERA is now at 1.86, WHIP is 0.91.  What a dream, Weaver.  The highest compliment I can give a player is, “Hey, really nice mustache.”  But my 2nd highest compliment is I wish I owned them on every team.

Jose Reyes – To the DL with his bad hamstring.  Get Michael Jackson’s old hyperbaric chamber for Jose Reyes’s hamstring!  He’s supposed to be out for three weeks now.  I hate the Mets.  Why can’t they just say when a player is going to be out for an extended period of time?  Who’s their doctor?  Dr. Rosenrosen?  Mr. Met probably has gigantism and they’re pretending he’s a cute, baseball-headed mascot.

Roger Clemens – I hope I don’t have to put an asterisk on my 1997 fantasy baseball championship.

  1. Terrence Mann says:

    Screw you, Grey. I needed a 2B and you told me to pick up Espinosa. I needed OF when Crawford got hurt and you said Bernadina. You said pick up Ramos as my 2nd catcher in a 2 catcher league. I have too many Nationals. I can’t cut any of these guys., Screw you, Grey.

  2. Racehorse says:


    I have Desmond Jennings stashed on my minor league roster in my dynasty league, so…

    In deep keeper/dynasty leagues, is a Desmond Jennings for Zack Cozart trade good or bad for me?

    My SS situation is an embarrassing mess.


  3. Racehorse says:


    Same as above…

    Eric Thames for Zack Cozart?

  4. Derrick says:

    Espinosa and Gio for Weaver in a re-draft league.

    Which side do you like?

  5. exno says:

    Mets fans hate their team for the same reason.. (one of many)

  6. bigboneded says:

    Mike Trout called up. Pick-up everywhere? I’m gonna.

  7. Scalez says:

    LOL Dr Rosenrosen. Where the hell’s the records room?

  8. Big Pappy Chicago

    Chicago Mark says:

    Too fast Vasile! Too fast! Had you come out (not that way my rainbow friend) a little later you could have told us all about Trout. But Bigboned is correct. LAAOA will call him up today.

  9. Scalez says:

    Josh Hamilton 1-2 with 4RBI an an outfield assisted suicide.

  10. malacoda1970 says:

    in 1997 I had both R Clemens and L Walker. Was there ever a better pitcher/hitter combo in a single fantasy season? I say no.

  11. MrHappyTime says:

    Who we putting our trust in today, Mcdonald vs the Cubbies, or the red hot Javier Vazquez vs the Stros? Hoping for a W and K’s, thanks..

  12. John says:

    Mike trout called up? i picked him up everywhere this kid has the hype machine going for a while now. I cant wait to profit on name or production

  13. John says:

    Also trust beachy @ Phi?

  14. Rob says:

    Wait a minute. Is Mike Trout actually going to stay longer than 2 weeks. I recently picked up Eric Thames in a number of leagues, do I drop him for Trout? What about Seth Smith who is occupying bench space on a couple of my other teams. I am wondering how high to go here.

  15. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    In a 10 team h2h keeper league Im deep at OF and have been looking to trade Bossman all yr-I can barely even get a nibble.Regardless of BA,in a keeper league,a 26 yr old w/ 20/20 potential every yr should be valued a lot more highly.People see the BA and are scared off.Also,he goes into some deep,deep slumps(at one point he went a month w/ something like 3 XBH’s).But at this point w/ Lind coming back to earth and Crawford hurt and/or sucking I’m happy to still have him.

  16. stynyr says:


    Who should I look to drop to get Luebke? Anyone?


    sp-Kershaw, Billingsley, Liriano, Cueto, D. Hudson, Niese, Stauffer, Collmenter, Carasco

  17. Rico says:

    Would you drop Alclides for Cozart?

    Is Trout an add over a guy like Brantley? Me thinks no.

  18. Cole says:

    Chet’s holding a contest? Like THE contest? Whoops, I’m out. Nevermind.

  19. Lob Ball says:

    A couple of CI questions:

    Who to go with across all ROTO batting categories:

    1) Valencia or Reynolds?

    2) Trumbo or Hosmer?

  20. Bernie Brewer says:

    I have D. Jennings sitting on my bench, waiting for a call-up. Drop him for Trout?

  21. MrHappyTime says:

    Would you start Morrow vs the Tribe tomm??

  22. Backend O'Rotation says:

    Better in the back half of the season: Peavy or Hughes?

  23. Tony says:

    yep trouts up, great, how many of the rookies have done ANYTHING when they’ve came up…. i’m done with rookies.

    there’s a one in a million chance he’s a braun, then there’s the 99.9% chance he does what every other prospect does, struggles.

    *** and since i took the time to post this he’ll probably ryan braun it during the 2nd half.

  24. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:

    When Bourjos heals up the Angels can play Trout in left center, Bourjos in right center, and a fifth infielder up the middle when Pineiro pitches.

    Pirates should probably do that with Morton. I’d actually be interested to see how well that type of defense would work with any extreme ground ball pitcher.

  25. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:

    Might be terrible, but hey, if a guy gets GB at a 60% clip, could do worse than completely blanketing the infield to not allow anything to go through.


    More serious time:

    Trout or Tabata? Rudimentary math tells me that the Angels have a serious logjam at OF/DH now, assuming Trout stays up when Bourjos is healthy.

  26. AL KOHOLIC says:

    buyers be ware,trout might or probably wont stay up or get regular ab,s,

  27. Beau says:

    In a keeper league drop tabata or dom brown for trout? Neither is a perfectly acceptable answer.

  28. bobbo says:

    Is it insane to drop Grady for Trout? All Grady does is sit on my bench until its a short day, and then he takes a huge dump all over my team with his 0-4 3 k’s.

  29. Donnie Baseball says:

    Great stuff Grey, always funny, but you were really on your game today. I’m going to steal that Mr. Met joke if you don’t mind.

  30. Mark says:

    I really hate Heyward and Wright, trying to dump them from my team. I’m offering them, Marmol and Aaron Cibia for Aramis, Crawford and Morrow. Desperately need Ks and some ratio help. I’d pick up Lucroy to replace JPA probably, and Headley is my 3B atm.

    I offered that before yesterday’s games. Do I take it back?

  31. Howie Met Your Mother says:


    Who do you think will get more save chances for the next couple weeks; Bastardo or D. Hernandez? I haven’t heard much on the prognosis for Madson (plus Lidge) or Putz, and I’d like to drop one of them for Trout.

  32. Sach says:

    couple quickies…cozart or ellis as reyes replacement? pavano, mccarthy, capuano or my main man furbush as volzquez’s replacement? pickup trout and drop belt now that they’ve flipped professional levels? thanks.

  33. MattTruss

    MattTruss223 says:

    Just got offered Hamels for my Starlin Castro. I’m giddy as a school-girl! As Grey said of his Lincecum/Marmol trade: “I’m not sure the virtual paint dried on the trade before I signed off on it.”

    Best part is I’ve been sitting on Uggla, if his recent hitting is a sign of things to come, this could be an extra sweet deal!

    With an abundance of pitching, I was able to drop a SP for Trout in hopes he’ll provide a decent fill-in while Stubbs gets through his rough patch.

    @MrHappyTime – I am

  34. Rick Dempsey says:

    @Grey: I want to get rid of Heyward cause of such a high injury risk…..should I start shopping him now or wait a couple weeks?

  35. BamBam says:

    Sit down Kennedy @ STL (who hit him for 9 early in the year) or does my Magic 8-ball need repairing again?

  36. Wilsonian says:

    I’m wondering everyone’s opinions here.

    I’ve been rocking a random bat at 3rd for quite some time since Wright went down, and I eventually traded him. It’s been a hodgepodge of useless bats. The current one is McGehee. I’m wondering if anyone thinks he’ll turn his season around, and maybe I should just hang on to him? Or should I pick up Valencia in hopes that his shizz is for real and he can put up a 20/90 season?

    It’s a deep 16 Team H2H League.

  37. Golfnut says:

    Freese or Trout the rest of the way?

  38. timSTi says:

    Grey, pick two out of these 3 MIs:

    Bonifacio, Cozart, J.Weeks


  39. Ethan Stein says:

    In a 10 team league, for SS, I have Desmond on the bench and a “hot” Tejada filling in because Desmond doesn’t know how to hit. Pick up Cozart and forget about Tejada or say goodbye to Desmond?

  40. SpecialFNK says:

    I picked up Mike Trout this morning. there’s no guarantee he remains with the Angles. potentially Bourjous could return when healthy and Trout goes back to the minors, right?

    I just received this trade offer.
    I give- Jason Heyward and Mike Trout.
    I get- Andre Ethier and Logan Morrison.

    am I crazy for not really wanting this? or should I jump on it?
    I don’t really need any specific stats, although I could use some more HR. this is 12 team 28 roster spot league, 5×5, roto, yahoo. I’m already in 1st place with a 14 point lead.
    I drafted Heyward expecting big things, and if he’s healthy I was looking forward to seeing him bust out in the 2nd half.

  41. Jangles says:

    Wigginton, Headley, or Freese?

  42. Gandhi says:

    Drop Drew for Cozart or is that retarded? Drew has looked like hell for the past few weeks…

  43. Steve Stevenson says:

    H2H league where I’m pretty much guaranteed a playoff spot, Luebke or Humber for the back end of the staff? Worried about Luebke’s innings rendering him useless come playoff time.

  44. shibboleth says:

    Hey Grey… who’d you prefer for bench depth: Valencia, Reddick, LoMo, Revere, Presley?

  45. elwood blues says:

    I am intrigued by Cozart… but do I need him?
    NL Only 4X4 Keeper League.. I’m 4th out of 12 teams.. near the top in all hitting categories.

    2B – K.Johnson $16arb
    SS – Bartlett $8
    MI – Murphy (Mets) $1
    UT- Nix – $5

  46. stumanji says:

    Not too happy about Trout’s call-up in my 12 team keeper (keep 6). If he had stayed in the minors all year like he was supposed to (since he’s 19!!), I could have kept him as a minor leaguer for next year. Now I need to decide whether to use one of my 6 keepers on him–not right now but after the season obviously. Eff.

    /end rant.

  47. Bob says:

    Who do you take as a Jose Reyes replacement – Alcides Escobar or Cozart? Or a wild card like Tejada or Bonifacio?

  48. Chris says:

    ROS: Bernadina or Snider?

    PTS league, Ks are a factor (though no a huge one)

  49. lou rodney says:

    In first place with good pitching, but looking to make a move to bolster my offense for late in the season.

    Should I trade Cueto for Dunn in a keeper?
    I have lots of pitchers, and Cueto is cheaper than Dunn, but I want to win this year.
    Am I giving up too much?



  50. Wilsonian says:

    Flyin’ Hawaiian to the DL.

  51. Benny says:

    Greinke has been kinda shaky (besides the K’s)… you starting him tonight against Cincy?

  52. Mookie says:

    No mention of Ben Revere and his twin Paul Franklin ?

  53. The Spaceman says:

    @ Grey

    I’ve heard rumours of a Beachy trade to the Chi Sox for Quentin. Just an FYI I suppose? Makes me unhappy, as I fear the AL may not suit him. Oh well.

    2 Quick questions; Start Beachy @ Phi in an 18 teamer?

    Also; Give Weaver and A Jackson, receive Bruce and Norris. Solid?

    You’re time is truly appreciated man. Do enjoy your weekend!

    The Spaceman

  54. Mr2Bits says:

    Hey Grey : Two questions.

    Aybar or Cozart for Reyes temp replacement in one league and should I lose S. Drew for Cozart in another?

  55. fyodor says:


    After the call-up, would you want Jennings or Snider?


  56. ken plane says:

    Drop any of these for Luebke? Madbum, Latos or Bedard. 10 team mixed 5×5.

  57. calvin says:

    grey: reyes replacement – would u rather have uribe or cozart? need rbi help. thinking cozart because the park

  58. Bernie Brewer says:

    @Grey: I have Avila, and also have the black hole that is Adam Dunn. Would you drop Dunn and pick up Arencibia, so I have someone to play at C on the days when Avila is off? No one in my league (or in their right mind) wants to trade for Dunn. Thoughts?

    Thanks for always giving us your $0.02 :)

  59. Trick dad says:

    Keeper league, jeter or cozart?

  60. ACME says:

    Grey — Aybar or Jeter…Garza or Chacin. Thanks…

  61. Boston Fans Are Stoopid says:

    @Grey, as the legendary Rakim would say, “I got a question as serious as cancer”. Rest of the season, who ya got? Pujols or Freddie Freeman? Your advice would be greatly appreciated. You ain’t no joke.

  62. ROS:

    Buchholz or Scherzer?

  63. CL says:

    Latos a go tonight?

  64. DogHat says:

    Start Hellickson @NYY?

  65. Corvallegian says:

    I pretty much have a man crush on Smoak so it pains me to watch him struggle…do you think he turns things around to look a bit more like April, or would you drop him for Freeman for the rest of the season?

  66. Short Round says:

    Who do you prefer at CF in 2012? A $10 C Young, $13 Beltran or $5 M Brantley?

  67. Grey Cozart over Furcal, Wiggington or Rasmus? Could drop Liriano too I guess….

    Those are who I would need to drop…Damn Morneau and Wright…why you honkeys no play?!!?

  68. DogHat says:

    5×5 roto mixed league
    ROS King Felix or Dan Haren

  69. bean says:

    @grey good stuff. please rank these players:

    rasmus presley revere bernadina reddick thames d. murphy

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