Zack Cozart is a pickup in all leagues where you need a middle infidel. Go, I’ll wait here. *scratches chin, yawns, covers mustache with two fingers to see what I look like without it, shakes head* Welcome back! Cozart hit 17 homers and stole 30 bases last year. You know who that reminds me of? […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
I usually like to wait a couple of months into the season to look at some of the catchers that couldn’t throw out your grandma even if she loses the tennis balls off her walker. (What is the deal with those tennis balls? I feel like that’s the kinda nonsense thing that would have a […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jhoulys Chacin was walking more yesterday than my grandfather on a treadmill behind a hot number (his words). Yo-leash’s line 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (6 walks), 7 Ks. Am I worried that Chacin isn’t going to have a sub-3 ERA all year? Yeah, of course, I’m worried. What, am I delusional? Am […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Beckett game yesterday was a thing of beauty if you’re into that New Agey art where people smear bodily functions on canvas. 3 IP, 8 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’m not sure what the most disturbing part of this outing was. The lack of Ks? How second nature these terrible starts have become […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brian Fuentes hurt himself lifting weights. Can’t he just take HGH like every other freakin’ major leaguer. Hayzeus Cristo, my closer luck has been terrible so far this year. The closerousel has made me really nauseous. Forget SAGNOF, more like CRYNOF, which acronyms to nothing but has “cry” in it. Fernando Rodney is the immediate […]Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clayton Kershaw went 4 and two-thirds innings, giving up three earned and 11 baserunners. Six of those ducks on the pond were walks. That’s 1-2-3-4-5-6 walks. Versus the Pirates. A team that had a .318 OBP last year. Sure, this year they’re starting with Robot Jones, “I must kill the Queen,” but c’mon. How did […]Please, blog, may I have some more?