Well, I guess enough was enough in Detroit. It’s always nice to waltz around with a security blanket like Linus, and have the ability to add a closer to back-up a closer that is making 10 mil a year. Joakim Soria walks into the room dressed like Lloyd Christmas and is all tops and tails. Great starting pitching and an actual winning team that he can back up. For the Rangers this year, he had 17 saves for a 40 win club. Turn that around, and he went from being on a 21-games-under-.500-team to a 14-games-over one. His only problem is that he is flirting at the Sadie Hawkins dance with the date that Brad Ausmus brought, and Nathan has a some pull there. My take is it’s not going to be long before the settle in on “The Mexicutioner”. So I have them ranked mid-table until the dust settles and we see what’s what. I mean, all Soria has to do is show some kind of consistency, and boom, you have a top-8 closer for the rest of the year. You can think what you want, but Detroit is a 90 win team all day and a bag of chips tomorrow, however that expression goes… In Texas, Neal Cotts and Neftali Feliz as of now look like the two heads of the class for minimal save value in Arlington. So the closer-thon to cure save depravity has begun, adjust your rosters, operaters are standing buy to take your recent waiver wire donations.
- The White Sox closer situation is about as confusing to understand as a shouting contest between Ronnie James Dio and Rob Halford. Jake Petricka seems to get a save every week and makes us question why we are owning Zach Putnam. Well listen up while I lay it down, guess who is coming back soon? Matt Lindstrom. If you have a DL spot, need saves, require penicillin, and are a gluten in world of save-dom (only 3 out 4 are required for acquisition)… then by all means be first to the wire and add him.
- Santiago Casilla has taken the closer reigns in SF and run with them. He is unscored upon since May 16th, spanning 15 appearances. Since taking over for Sergio, he has compiled a 0.00 ERA, 5 saves, and if you wanna knock him on anything besides too may vowels in his name, he doesn’t K as much as we would like. He does, however, like hand-holding, so hooray for PDA.
- I still think Huston Street is a marry candidate, and going to a better team only increases his save value. Joe Smith, while at closer, accumulated 10 saves, compared to only 4 for Street. Better team, more wins, more stats in your favor.
Marry
What’s better than having the comfort of having a great stand-by at home? Nothing. It helps you, it lives for you and gosh darn’it, you can do with it as you please, under the jurisdictions of the law. It’s got a nice pre-kids body and a penchant for baking. So we have the roster stalwarts that you want to have and hold for this season forward.
1. Craig Kimbrel – (Jordan Walden, Shae Simmons)
2. Kenley Jansen – (Chris Perez, Brian Wilson, J.P. Howell)
3. Greg Holland – (Wade Davis, Jason Frasor, Aaron Crow)
4. Aroldis Chapman – (Jonathan Broxton, J.J. Hoover)
5. Koji Uehara – (Junichi Tazawa, Edward Mujica, Andrew Miller)
6. Glen Perkins – (Casey Fien, Jared Burton)
7. David Robertson – (Dellin Betances, Adam Warren, Matt Thornton)
8. Sean Doolittle – (Luke Gregerson, Danny Otero, Ryan Cook)
9. Huston Street – (Joe Smith, Kevin Jepsen)
F#ck
These guys are fun, and maybe some day you’ll want to marry them, but right now they have their flaws and you’re not sure if you wanna take them home to mom. So you give them the special booty-call ring designation on your phone, and you get everything that marriage can’t give you. Stats are the important thing here, and lots of them, no obligations. No alimony attached, just straight unadulterated stats.
10. Trevor Rosenthal – (Pat Neshek, Kevin Siegrist, Jason Motte)
11. Francisco Rodriguez – (Will Smith, Brandon Kintzler)
12. Fernando Rodney – (Danny Farquhar, Yoervis Medina, Charlie Furbush)
13. Steve Cishek – (Mike Dunn, A.J. Ramos)
14. Rafael Soriano – (Tyler Clippard, Drew Storen)
15. Cody Allen – (Bryan Shaw, John Axford)
16. Mark Melancon – (Tony Watson, Justin Wilson)
17. Zach Britton – (Darren O’Day, Tommy Hunter, Ryan Webb)
18. Joakim Soria/ Joe Nathan –
19. Casey Janssen – (Aaron Loup, Brett Cecil)
20. Jonathan Papelbon – (Ken Giles, Antonio Bastardo, Justin De Fratus)
21. Santiago Casilla – (Sergio Romo, Jeremy Affeldt, Jean Machi)
22. Chad Qualls – (Jose Veras, Tony Sipp, Josh Fields)
23. Addison Reed – (Brad Ziegler, Matt Stites)
Kill
Should be self-explanatory. There is no comfort in this grouping, along with the fear of looking suspicious when buying a new shovel and some lyme when all that you wanna do is plant a new butterfly bush. The jib? The newly injured replacements are here or just they’re just the unproven. All should be laid to rest, unless desperation or injury becomes you. Don’t get comfy, death or stat-suicide may be closer than it appears.
24. Joaquin Benoit – (Dale Thayer, Kevin Quackenbush)
25. Jake McGee – (Grant Balfour, Brad Boxberger, Joel Peralta -DL)
26. LaTroy Hawkins – (Rex Brothers, Adam Ottavino)
27. Jenrry Mejia – (Jeurys Familia, Carlos Torres, Vic Black)
28. Hector Rondon – (Neil Ramirez, Pedro Strop)
29. Neal Cotts / Neftali Feliz
30. Jake Petricka / Zach Putnam (Matt Lindstrom)
