The other day I was feeling tired but not tired like I could sleep but tired like I wanted to lie in bed and have Rudy read me a bedtime story.  So here’s what Rudy read to me, “Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, Neftali Feliz was the best closer in the major leagues.  Then there was a buzzing noise.  This buzzing noise meant something.  You don’t get a buzzing noise like that, just buzzing and buzzing, without it meaning something.  If there’s a buzzing noise, somebody’s making a buzzing noise, and the only reason for making a buzzing noise that I know of is because you’re a save vulture about to pick up Darren Oliver.”  “Rudy, why do the save vultures want Darren Oliver?”  “The  only reason for being a save vulture that I know of is for stealing saves from closer carcasses and right now Neftali is a carcass for the next two weeks.”  “But, Rudy, I own Neftali Feliz in a lot of leagues.  In fact, he’s been my best pitcher in a lot of those leagues.”  Long pause.  “Grey, I’m going to read you a different story.  I call this one, ‘Arthur Rhodes Will Steal Some Situational Saves from Darren Oliver.'”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball this weekend:

Ryan Madson – Jose Contreras, the Phillies closer and AARP Man of the Month of April, is headed to the DL.  I’d grab Madson everywhere (shoot, I think I already owned him in some leagues), but keep it in mind that he is a Cuddle Boy.  Speaking of which, can he enter the ninth inning with James Ingram’s Just Once playing?  That would be so awesome.  On the Jumbotron, a montage of the last scenes from The Last American Virgin could be playing, but instead of the kid paying for an abortion and driving home crying, it’s the Philliebot.

Roy Halladay – 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 14 Ks.  Sure, but he didn’t have to face the Padres best hitter, Nick Hundley.

Albert Pujols – Left the game with tightness in his hamstring.  Day-to-day as of this writing.  Or D2D, if you like these things to look like R&B groups.

Max Scherzer – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I think I was supposed to draft Max Scherzer, The Nazi Killer, on at least one team.  What happened to that?  Or as Al Capps would say, “WHY DIDN’T THAT HAPPEN?!”

Ryan Raburn – You gave up on him.  Yeah, you did.  Okay, lie to yourself.  Either way, he’s playing every day and he hit 2 homers in the last four games.

Darwin Barney – 2-for-5 yesterday and hitting .329 so far.  He has no homers and 1 steal on the year.  Is he doing more than the middle infielder schmohawk behind door number #1?  Yeah, probably, but don’t get carried away.

Matt Kemp – 2-for-5, batting .402, 5 homers and 8 steals, not in just this game that would’ve been a record, except for a few games there in the early 2000s when Bonds was shooting up.  Kemp is on some kind of mission to prove he doesn’t need Torre, an owner or a woman to get the job done.  Doing work, son.  I like to think right now Kemp is in the locker room talking about himself in third person and wearing a kaftan.  Why?  Because he can!

Andre Ethier – I think he’s hit in every game this season.  So far I’m like 0-for-schmohawks with my overrated posts, but the season is young like Delmon.

John Lackey – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks vs. the Los Angeles Angels of Not-Los Angeles County.  Maybe Lackey was pumped to face his old team, I don’t know.  I wouldn’t own him with your team.

Carl Crawford – 2-for-4 and a home run.  After the game, Crawford said he totally overslept his alarm clock by three and a half weeks.  Oopsie!

Randy Wolf – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks.  I kinda don’t even want to talk about Wolf right now because he’s carrying our supposed-to-be-Gallardo-led LABR staff.

Rickie Weeks – Returned from a hand thingie-ma-whosie and hit a homer.  Appropriate of nothing… For some reason, I see Rickie Weeks singing the lyrics, “Felt on the big fat fanny,” louder than all the other words in It Was A Good Day.

Mike Aviles – Had the AYCE Slam & Legs yesterday when he gobbled down two homers and a steal.  Don’t like Aviles, but this could be the start of a hot streak.  If you’re hurting at middle infield, I’m not above picking up someone I don’t like.

Jeff Francoeur – 1-for-3 with a Freedom Fly.  He was a Buy in Friday’s post that I wrote while burping ulcer bile caused by my family visiting.

Mike Napoli – Now has 5 homers in 32 at-bats.  He now has more homers than games started.

Nelson Cruz – 1-for-4, 3 Ks and hitting .247 on the year.  Wait, wasn’t he supposed to win the MVP after the first week of the season?  Sonavathelastthreeweeks!

Danny Espinosa – He was one of our favorite MI sleepers coming into the season as he’s shown 20/20 potential and solid job security.  The biggest negatives were AVG (over/under at .245) and lineup position (which drives Runs/RBIs).  The AVG concerns aren’t going anywhere but he’s been hitting leadoff this week which should help his Runs and SB attempts.  He finally got his first SB on Sunday and wouldn’t be surprised if he goes on a streak like his MI-mate Ian Desmond.

Michael Morse – 6 for his last 16 with a homer yesterday.  Maybe it just took him a while to step up to the immense sleeper potential put on him.  (<–not sarcastic!)

Ben Zobrist – 2-for-4 with his 5th homer and 2nd homer in two games.  If a mohel in your league circumcised Zobrist from their team a little too quickly, you should grab him.

James Shields – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  ERA is now at 2.35 on the year.  Yeah, he’s bouncing back.  I’d start him every time out sans hesitation.  Or sansitation, for those that enjoy a good portmanteau.

Ricky Romero – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks and has an ERA of 3.00.  I feel like I was supposed to own him too.  Why do I not own any of the breakout guys that I wanted that are doing good but own all the potential breakout guys that aren’t doing well?  Why do you make me suffer Fantasy Gods?

Brandon Morrow – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  The sun did come out for Morrow.  Bet your bottom dollar!

Brett Cecil – Demoted to Triple-A not because he threw tantrums in the dugout.  But because he threw tantrums in the dugout after not pitching well.  Throw a tantrum after pitching well and you’re labeled eccentric and awesome.

Aaron Hill – Finally goes on DL after almost a whole week of waitin’ and seein’.  Evidently, the Blue Jays are playing in a weekly league vs. a daily league.

Curtis Granderson – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer.  I told you he was a great guy to draft…Only I told you about 13 months too early.  Excuse me if you can’t handle my prescience.

Derek Jeter – 4-for-6 to raise his average .257.  Not a huge fan, but I did almost make Jeter a Buy on Friday.  He’s not done done, just not the Pasta Diving Jeter he once was.

Chipper Jones – Glass Chipper has pain in his right knee.  His left knee said, “Join the club!”

Brandon Beachy – 6 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Beachy didn’t leave many stranded.

Brett Anderson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Another guy I loved in the preseason that I should own everywhere, yet don’t.  Dubya tee eff, doode, dubya tee eff.

Brad Ziegler – Attributes his early success with his new diet that includes drinking soy milk.  Luckily he didn’t start drinking V-8 as that might jeopardize his pitching motion.

Anibal Sanchez – Took a no-hitter into the ninth on Friday.  This was what I wrote to Rudy this weekend over IM.  “Here’s our luck thus far in our leagues.  One pitcher we’ve dropped in all our leagues so far…. The one pitcher we felt we should’ve never drafted and that was expendable… The pitcher we dropped in one league for Phil Effin’ Coke was… Anibal Sanchez.”  Rudy responded with, “I saw.”  There was nothing else to say.  The pain was palpable.

Josh Johnson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Member that Go West “King of Wishful Thinking” thing I said about Marcum starting the All-Star Game?  Yeah, it’s gonna be Johnson.  Be fun to watch his porn star brother Gosh Johnson work the All-Star crowd for groupies.  “We’re gonna have a Johnson signing event in my hotel room from 2 to 3.  That’s 2 PM to 3 AM.”

Scott Rolen – Who had Easter Sunday for the Rolen to DL pool (with strained left shoulder that’s been a persistent issue for him)?  Collect your money.  For now, Cairo is the replacement and is recommended in all Fantasy Razzball league formats (aka you get points for negative performance).  Juan Francisco will get some starts when he returns from the DL.  He’s got serious power but has more holes in his swing than Augusta National.  He’s a good stash in NL-only though.

David Wright – The AYCE slam & legs (2 HR, 1 SB) with 3 runs and 3 RBIs.  Watching the carcass tandem of Jason Bay and Carlos Beltran play so hard must be inspiring him.

Jason Pridie – With Angel Pagan on the DL (did he tag in Jason Bay first?), Terry Collins looked at his corner OFs (Bay and Beltran) and decided he needed better than the average at best defense of Willie Harris and Scott Hairston in CF.  Pridie has a good defensive reputation and has shown speed in the minors (25 SBs a year in two full AAA seasons) but, despite his HR on Sunday, is a below average hitter that’s worthless outside of NL-only leagues.  Or as Larry David would say, “He is (not) pridie pridie good.”

Zack Greinke – He’s still on pace for an early May return.  Only 3 things could derail it:  1) he plays pickup basketball, 2) he has a mental episode, or 3) he has a mental episode about not playing pickup basketball.

 
  1. chata says:
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    a most enjoyable column .

    ” I like to think right now Kemp is in the locker room talking about himself in third person and wearing a kaftan. Why? ”
    ‘cuz Rickey don’t do no kaftan .

    that internetlurker guy called and told me that youk’s twitchings
    were a result of facing ziegler , a lot , during high school games .

    btw , if you string enough mental episodes , all together ,
    no one hardly notices .

  2. Chinaski says:
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    This Beachy kid is impressive. Happy to own him, i just dont know what to do with Lilly, his erratic play is killing the numbers of the rest of my pitching staff who are doing fairly well.

  3. Just another guy says:
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    Trickie Rickie with the Slam N’ Legs. Two straight games with a steal now. Would love to see him get active on the base paths and get a 20/20 out of him this year.

  4. Tony tone says:
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    Drop J Zimm for D Hudson? How about Thornton for oliver? And in a vacuum Wright or Felix?

  5. ritzer says:
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    Two questions,
    1) Would you drop Jordan Zimm or Dereck Holland for D Hudson.

    2)Are you still big on Edwin Jackson after three bad starts…he’s just been dropped in another league.

  6. Grey's Mother says:
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    I’m very disappointed in you, Grey. We come all the way from back East to spend this very special time of the year with you and all you can do is sit on that silly phone saying curse words and punching yourself in the forehead.

    I really think it’s this whole LA thing. I thought it was a bad idea right from when you suggested it.

  7. famous anus says:
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    grey/rudy, whats your current eval on ubaldo? the ks are there but not much else right now… good buy in mixers, or do you see more serious regression from last year?

  8. Giant JJ says:
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    I picked up Charlie Morton in a 20 team league. He got shelled. Cut bait or give him another shot versus the Giants?

  9. Chinaski says:
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    Grey would you start Garza against the Rockies today? I am a rockies fan and i fear our potent offense hit him hard today

  10. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    the sp shuffle,im hoping beachy has settled innow

  11. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    GREY-herrera does he get regular playing time?if so,what kind of line do you give him?he has 4 sb,s this year

  12. MattW says:
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    @Grey:

    Ianetta or Arencibia?

    Vlad or streaky player du jour?

  13. Curt says:
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    Do you think Bloomquist will continue this for the rest of the year????(I know he missed the last series, he should be back)

  14. Johnny Drama says:
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    Who wins?

    Alex Gordon for Jeter

  15. Carl Spackler says:
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    Danny Espinosa or Rayburn for the year?

  16. Jeff says:
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    Cuddyer is now 2B/MI eligible in Yahoo. How does he rank compared to Rayburn, Lowrie, K Johnson, Beckham, Kendrick, Roberts, Zobrist and Hill. Thanks

  17. Yep, I said it! says:
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    I’ve been struggling in my very deep dynasty league at 2B/SS with Utley and Furcal on DL. Using Uribe (eligible at both positions) and Rhymes filling in. Only FAs are John McDonald, Paul Janish, Jeff Baker, and Emilio Bonifacio. I notice that Eric Young is playing well in the minors and is currently unowned.

    Options: 1) stick with Rhymes, 2) pick up EY and temporarily punt 2B, 3) try one of the four FAs, or 4) accept trade offer of Heisey, Joyce, and Jeffress for Cuddyer (who is 2nd base eligible). Ouch!

  18. Cain Fan says:
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    I can’t tell you how depressed I was on Saturday when I started both Dempster AND Jackson. 11.12 ERA EACH!!! What are the odds?

    Oh and then I watched Shields shred it on my bench, good times!

  19. Phils Phan says:
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    Is it finally time to turn the page on Ryan Dempster?

    If so, is Jorge De La Rosa, Kyle Lohse, or Matt Harrison an upgrade?

  20. Jeff says:
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    Should Farnsworth be removed from the Cuddle Boy definition? I’m thinking Madson could replace him, but hopefully he proves me wrong the next two weeks.

  21. Mr2Bits says:
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    Grey : I owned Feliz and picked up Oliver but should I lose Oliver for Madson?

  22. camram003 says:
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    Grey, would you do this trade. 12 team mixed roto league 5×5 w/ MI, CI, 4OF, Util

    I would be giving up:
    Kemp
    A Gon
    Elvis
    Kimbrel

    I would be getting:
    Crawford
    Hanley
    Carlos Lee
    Uehara

    Thanks

  23. Grey, if you were in a matchup where the only offensive categories are Runs, SB, and AVG for this week, would you pick up Peter Bourjos or Ryan Raburn? Also, do you think Willie Bloomquist will do anything productive this week, assuming he is back from the tighty hammy?

  24. Lob Ball says:
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    Good morning.

    Barney or Herrera to replace A-Hill for 15 days?

  25. Wilsonian says:
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    I was one of those mohels who dropped Zobrist on Saturday (before he hit his HR) for Espinosa – in my 8 Team league…but you told me to! Ha! So do I drop Danny for Zobrist when he comes off waivers tomorrow, assuming no one else snags him?

    ALSO…

    What do you think of this deal:

    Wright/Andrus for Uggla/Castro?

    I have Wright, but I also have Gordon and Longoria. I don’t think I could do it, but I wanted to know what anyone out there in Razzball land thought.

  26. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    trade offer:

    i get: votto + freese
    i give: poojols
    i have reynolds killing me at 3B right now, but is freese really the answer?

    now after looking at fangraphs, both pooholes and reynolds are getting killed with low .200 BABIP. both votto and freese have .400+ BABIP. and even still, pooholes arguably has the better numbers than votto anyway (better counting numbers, worse in the ratios). also worth noting that reynolds has a career best K rate. i think i’ll stay with pooholes/reynolds.

  27. SwaggerJackers says:
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    @Grey: I’m not happy I own Dempster in all three of my leagues. Bench him for a while or just drop him?

  28. Bi-Winning says:
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    I know you’re not a fan, but what do you make of Bautista’s start: Sell high or hold?

  29. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    in a daily lineup league, i have dread pirate, heyward, stanton, flying hawaiin, rasmus, and morneau for 5 lineup spots (3 OF, 2 UTIL). i’k basically throwing darts trying to nail the right guy to bench each day.

    with reynolds at 3B, what’s a good offer for youk? kung fu panda?

  30. Harley says:
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    @Grey: thoughts on lind and reynolds so far? Obviously too soon to giveup but worried?

  31. Jared says:
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    Should I drop one of putz,Walden, and capps for madson or just stick with what I have?

  32. BigRedLatrine says:
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    Own While Hitting= hot schmotato?

    Just grabbed Darwin Barney in my serious league. Felt good. I’d also like to point out that Darwin’s theory of evolution would in no way allow for a large purple dinosaur.

  33. Jeff says:
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    Who are my 6 SP’s this week?

    Gio – @LAA, vs TEX
    Liriano – vs TB, @ KC
    Narveson – vs CIN, @HOU
    Arroyo @ MIL, vs FLA

    Gallardo vs CIN
    Jimenez vs PIT
    Lester @ Balt
    Romero @ NYY

  34. Racehorse says:
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    Grey/Rudy,

    Bedard or Dice-K?

  35. Timequake says:
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    In a vacuum (and we’re going to suspend disbelief and assume you can both breathe and answer my question in this vacuum), would you rather have Bruce or Morneau?

    And in that same vacuum, who would you rather have at closer: Walden, Cordero, or Hanrahanananan?

  36. Bill Lumbergh says:
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    @Grey: Lilly hit the wire in my 12 team roto keeper league. Lose Edwin Jackson, Narveson, Travis Wood, or Volquez for him or just stay put? Thanks!

  37. Bill Lumbergh says:
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    @Grey: Lilly hit the wire in my 12 team roto keeper league. Lose either Edwin Jackson, Narveson, Travis Wood, or Volquez for him or just stay put? Thanks!

  38. Bill Lumbergh says:
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    Sorry for the duplicate post!!!

  39. Jay says:
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    Can we briefly discuss the Orange County Angels starting outfield? I’m in a 12 team mixed and Abreu, Hunter and Wells have all hit the waiver wire in the past week. Are all 3 completely washed up or can any of them still contribute in mixed leagues? I feel like they should be owned but know they are all historically hot starters and all look like garbage at the moment. Any of them worth owning over Adam Lind, David Murphy, etc?

  40. Eddy says:
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    @Grey/Rudy

    Is worth sitting through Contreras’ DL stint? Or should I drop him for Bastardo (Madson is taken)?

    12-team H2H league where C.Perez and Farnsworth are my two real closers and I just like to pretend Frank Frank is my third one.

  41. MD says:
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    g’mornin razzball nation,

    pickup question…

    who do you take? Tyler Greene, Scott Cousins, or Jason Pridie to replace LoMo?

    Leaning towards greene

  42. Racehorse says:
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    @ Grey/Rudy

    Nevermind mind on the Bedard/Dice-K question.

    I dropped Bedard for Eric Young Jr … I’ll then send EY2 (current AAA slash line: .333/.413/.839, 6 SB) to my minor league roster for safekeeping and call up Smoak who I’ve had stashed in my farm system (16 team dynasty — I drafted Smoak in March 2008 BEFORE that year’s MLB June draft) …

    Gawd, I LUV this stuff…

  43. The Ghost of Doc Ellis says:
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    I didn’t give up on Raburn.
    (snuggles)

  44. MR says:
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    Trade Advice please?

    Rasmus + Michael Young for M Holliday in a 12-team 5×5 league? McGehee would man 3rd base.

  45. Fugate says:
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    Edwin Jackson? Both you and the guys as ESPN seemed to think he was some new kind of pitcher because he wasn’t terrible after going to the White Sox. Same old Edwin, different year.

  46. Rodger-Dodger says:
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    @ Chinaski: I think you’re right. Garza is riding the pine for me today. I think he’s just the type of guy that might jump-start CarGo and the funky bunch. Too much talent to risk running Garza out there for my tastes.

    @ Mr2Bits: I’m loving me some Ryan Madson. Probably good for a minimum 5 saves over the next 2 weeks and he might keep the job all season if he loses his cuddle-boy ways. I do not like Lidge here or there. I do not like him anywhere.

    @Bi-Winning: Hold on Bautista… Use some common-sense man! Aren’t you starting to notice a pattern? Don’t know what changed with him last-year exactly, but if you have him now… count your lucky chickens… or something like that.

    @MD: You must be in a really deep league. I have to think you can do better than those guys. Can’t you find Garrett Jones or Mat Joyce on waiver? Just pick-up any one of the Hot-Schmotatoes (hat tip to BigRedLatrine) of the day.

    Grey:
    Speaking of the “Hot-shmotatoes” … how about … “Schmo-Du-Jour”… Who’s that you ask? He’s the schmo of the day. Hmm, that sounds good, I’ll take him.

  47. Lava says:
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    Drop Burnett or De La Rosa for Beachy?

  48. Mark says:
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    Grey,

    Took your advice this year in a league and punted catcher (they were flying off the board crrrazzzzy early) but now I’ve got two schmohawks killing my numbers (typical 5×5 cats). I’ve got Iannetta to whom I’m going to extend some leash since I think he’ll help me in the power categories long term, but I’m ready to cut bait with last round pick Josh Thole in my second C slot. Is J.R. Towles worth a post-post-hype flier? How about Ryan Doumit? Leaning towards Doumit (who was recently dropped) since who knows if Towles will ever see signifcant playing time, but he’s hitting right now.

  49. Rollie Fingers Toes says:
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    Are Jorge De La Rosa, Kyle Lohse, or Matt Harrison an upgrade over either Ryan Dempster or Jordan Zimmermann?

    I think I’m in need of a capable starter with upside from a good team.
    My staff currently is:
    Francisco Liriano
    Max Scherzer
    Gio Gonzalez
    Ted Lilly
    Michael Pineda
    Ryan Dempster
    Jordan Zimmermann

  50. Jake says:
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    Start Colby Lewis vs TOR (and Drabek)?

  51. Tom Emanski says:
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    Grey, do you like Freddy Garcia over Vazquezzz and Carrasco? QS, HRA and K/9 league.

  52. BS says:
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    Should I really drop Edwin Jackson for… Brandon McCarthy?

  53. mwgris says:
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    Francoeur, Sands or Morse?

  54. Morning Grey.

    I’ve read a real mixed bag about Sam “how long until he’ Fulds. Given 450+ ABs is 30 steals and 80 runs a reasonable expectation?

  55. Eng says:
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    Contreras will be back in 2-3 weeks. Flexor pronator strain is a very minor injury for a pitcher and unless an MRI shows it to be more it’s no big deal. Madson will likely do well in the short term, but the job is Jose’s until Lidge returns.

  56. Racehorse says:
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    @ Eddy

    We started our H2H dynasty league in Feb/Mar 2007, and we immediately followed our inaugural draft (27 player roster / 24 keepers) with a minor league draft (5 prospects — we’ve increased our farm systems to 8 slots in 2009, and to 10 slots this year)…

    Having a minor league component to a league requires extra work for the commish (which I’m not ;-) ) … basically revolving around external rules/transactions that has the commish putting active players in the yahoo data base (like Smoak), but who are still on a team’s minor league roster, on waivers about once a week (every 5 days – I think) …

    In our league, in basic terms, our rules stipulate we can call up a player provided he’s on a MLB roster once during the season, and doing so a team has to keep him on their big club for 60 days … and if he’s demoted (like Smoak was with Seattle last year) a player from a big team’s roster can be sent down to their minor league roster once during the season, provided the real team has the player currently in or demoted to their minor league system (me picking up EY2 then sending him to my farm system)…

    I’ve had Desmond Jennings stashed in my farm system since 2009, looking forward to him finally making some big noise in 2011 … I’ve got Yonder Alonso (drafted 2008) marinating on the farm … I’ve got Lars Anderson (dern you A-Gone!) … in this years minor league draft I took Kansas high schooler Bubba Starling OF/RHP who’s expected to go top 10 in this years June draft (maybe top 5) and I also drafted Jackie Bradley Jr OF out of University South Carolina who just hurt his wrist and, unfortunately, is dropping on draft boards…

    Anyway, sorry for the rambling, but I thoroughly enjoy the dynasty aspect of FBB. I do play in a few public leagues which is fun but, in my opinion, the deep dynasty mindset with a minor league component is the best thing since sliced bread.

  57. bobbo says:
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    Can you guys help me rank these pitchers… I’m starting to lose faith in Colby Lewis:

    Lewis (owned currently), Shields (needs to clear waivers), Hellickson, McCarthy, Beachy, Lohse

  58. 3FingersBrown says:
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    @Grey/Rudy: I loved watching Jack Clark Jr. aka Mike Morse go nuts this spring and missed out on him in the draft. He’s now available in two leagues…

    Morse or Pronk? (RCL – I’m thinking Pronk)
    Morse or Brett Wallace? (h2h, standard 5 + OBP)

    Yeah, I threw up in my mouth a little watching Anibal do work. I dropped him in RCL two weeks ago.

    Oh and where in the world is Brett Gardner? I’m starting to think he should just try legging out bunts instead of swinging the bat.

  59. tHe sHiT says:
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    @Grey: Drop Kennedy for Morrow?

  60. Carns says:
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    People are really dropping or thinking about dropping Ted Lilly? Over the past two seasons he has made over 25 starts each season, posted a 3.10, and about a 3.62 ERA, WHIPs of 1.06 and 1.08 and a K/9 around 8.

    You gonna drop that after an erratic April?

    Patience is one of the last things to develop in an elite or near-elite fantasy owner.

    Now excuse me, after that last sentence, I have plenty of cool things not to do and plenty of girls not to talk to.

  61. charlie batch says:
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    north american processed soy products convert to estrogen.. just sayin, brad ziegler

  62. ActionJackson says:
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    h2h 5×5 league

    BJ Upton or Jacoby Ellsbury?

  63. GReudy,

    Lineup conundrum…don’t know who to insert-
    12 H2H

    2B _____________ Rayburn, Espinosa (Hill on DL)
    SS_____________ Desmond (missing time with new born), Escobar, A.

    OF Kemp
    OF Upton, J.
    OF _______________ Bruce, Murphy, D.[TEX], Rayburn,
    Util ______________ Bruce, Murphy, Rayburn, Pena, C., Escobar, A.

    Gracias

  64. Mark says:
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    @Grey

    Also just noticed Conger is out there and playing pretty regularly lately. Take him over Towles and Doumit? That’s gonna be the move for the moment but open to changing my mind later.

  65. Rollie Fingers Toes says:
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    Alexei Ramirez (@Burnett/Yankees) or Mike Morse (@Maholm/Pirates) as a Utility play today? (Morse has been relatively warm and Ramirez is due to break out of a funk)

  66. agarthered says:
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    Narv or Wolf or DLR?

  67. JohnnyFive says:
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    @Grey Do you suggest starting 2-start guys Hudson and Kennedy over De La Rosa or McClellan in non-H2H? Thanks!

  68. Commish Cauda says:
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    Quick hits…5×5 league

    Betemit or Ryan Roberts the rest of the way?

    Iannetta, Hundley or Avila the rest of the way?

  69. ActionJackson says:
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    Trade Volquez for Ian Kennedy or Edwin Jackson?

  70. Racehorse says:
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    @ Eddy

    We do a slow draft, on-line… pretty much all message boards have a sub-forum that’ll allow fantasy leagues to conduct a draft, but you’ll want to check with that website’s moderators first.

    @ Grey

    I know … kinda like trying to decide between that AMC Gremlin with the painted on flames & moon roof or the AMC Pacer with the mag wheels & the alpine stereo.

  71. Racehorse says:
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    @ Eddy

    Ah, forgot to add that we use the yahoo format for the league…

  72. mike from jersey says:
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    3 quick questions
    1. Let’s say Josh Johnson makes all 33 starts. Projections?

    2. Does dempster turn it around?

    3. Do u now buy in to jose bautista? I can’t get him for ryan zimmermn & de la rosa, but I dnt wanna give up on zimms so quickly just cuz of inury.

    Thanks, hope u enjoyed easter

  73. Rip Repulski says:
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    Rios is on my waiver wire. Drop Bourjos to get him?

  74. EK says:
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    In a 12 team H2H…
    Need a 2B: K. Johnson, A. Hill, Herrera or Espinosa
    If you had to drop one SP: McClellan, Narveson or JDL
    Also would you drop any of the above SP’s for Dempster or Edwin Jackson?

  75. 3FingersBrown says:
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    @Grey: Thanks for confirming that. It’ll be nice to have Morse 1B/OF eligibility too – especially in my h2h, where Albert is d2d and the Donkey is MIA.

    Gardy’s HR was a nice surprise but his lack of BB is bugging me.

  76. Salty Balty says:
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    (1) 14 team Roto. Drop E. Jackson for Narveson? Pretty comprable pitchers, but at least Narveson pitches in the NL.

    (2) Too early to think about cutting C. Pena for M. Morse? Have L. Scott at first plattoning with Pena now, but haven’t started Pena in about a week.

  77. Gentlemen,

    In an 11 team NL Only dynasty keeper. I picked up Boggs on the Waiver wire for 51 of my 100 units on Saturday and I currently have two good offers for him. Do I do:

    Bumgarner, Helton, and Allen Craig for
    Boggs and Branyan

    or do I do Jhoulys Chacin straight up for Boggs.

    Chacin has a 2 contract good through next year and Bumgarner is 2 but needs to be extended after this season.

  78. OaktownSteve

    OaktownSteve says:
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    @Eng: As a Madson owner, the scenario I’m hoping for is that the Phillies are going to discover that Madson is the longterm solution. Everybody knows he has the stuff. If he proves the mental side, maybe they roll with him in the hopes of having a healthy, proven option for the post season they believe they’ll surely be a part of.

    To whomsoever: Sam Fuld remind anybody else of Lenny Dykstra? On the field of course. Off the field there’s only one Nails. Fuld along with the rest of the Rays getting it done in the field. “Our defense is sick,” says Joe Madden. I love Joe Madden.

    Best promotional deal of the century….Wells Fargo is donating $100 dollars for every Seattle Mariner home run hit this year to some very lucky charity.

  79. bogbert says:
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    I know that Wolf is really a sheep under whatever that costume of his he wears. Given that, though, do you think he’s an add to the following rotation, or shall I stick with a spot for streaming? Thanks. — Liriano, Gallardo, Marcum, Gio, Bills, Morrow

  80. OaktownSteve

    OaktownSteve says:
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    @3 Fingers: First, Antonio Alfonseca is twice the man you were…

    I remember watching Dykstra go full out through the ivy into the brick at Wrigley. Fuld is kind of build like him. Full tilt lefty with just a little pop. Rays got into a groove when he started getting regular ABs.

    @Grey: You familiar with Dorothy Parker’s “Constant Reader” review of Milne?

    “…And it is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”

  81. Chinaski says:
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    Grey and everybody else: Ian Kennedy or Travis Wood?

  82. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    travis wood or ian kennedy? wood right?

  83. Matic says:
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    Guys, what do you think? Drop Sean Burnett for Darren Oliver?

  84. Whiskey Diet says:
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    12 Teamer

    Having trouble picking my last couple pitchers.

    Which two SP do I lose? (I’ve got Felix, Greinke, D-Hudson, Kuroda)

    Pineda
    Ogando
    Volquez
    Beachy
    Edwin Jax
    Billingsley
    Travis Wood

    Thank you.

  85. The Burghler says:
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    7×7 head to head with ops and ks.

    Rios, Beltran, David Murphy…which 2 of these 3 would you want going forward?

  86. Correct order?—Beachy, Baker, Kennedy, Drabek, Ervin, Bedard. Thanks. Happy Monday.

  87. Alejandro says:
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    @ Grey

    Posada or Hundley? Iannetta is also a FA

  88. agarthered says:
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    @grey Narv or Wolf or DLR?

  89. the grate one says:
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    how would you rate these MI options (short term)

    aviles, darwin, theriot, thanks!

  90. Sos says:
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    Which side in a 12 team keeper in which I could keep Scherzer in the 10th next year? Scherzer/Mcgehee or Wright?

  91. Cole says:
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    Nice outing for CJ yesterday until the mighty Avilies do what Avilies do. Still 10 k’s and right about at 9 K/9 on the year. He just seems to be one batter (or one pitch) away from a noteworthy start.

  92. JohnnyFive says:
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    @grey missed me at #86, and I’m trying not to take it personally. Heh.

  93. Tony B. says:
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    Anyone: Quick trade question. What side do you want?

    Ryan Howard rd 1 keeper 3 yrs
    Zimmerman rd 2 keeper 2 yrs
    Choo rd 5 keeper 2 yrs
    Marmol rd 6 keeper 3 yrs

    or

    Miguel Cabrera rd 1 keeper 3 yrs
    Jose Bautista rd 3 keeper 3 yrs
    Jayson Werth rd 4 keeper 3 yrs
    Jonny Venters rd 21 keeper 3 yrs

    Thanks!

  94. papasmurf says:
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    Everyone but the Jays knew Hill was hitting the DL. D2D sucks worse than a MJ Hammer rap.

    What do you think about Betemit? .285 22 80 doable, ya? I think a slump is coming soon though.

    I am on the Morse train now. I dealt League for him as my LF has 0 homers, which is 12 less than my whole dang team.

  95. cruisinkc says:
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    I’m looking to trade a closer (Mitchell Boggs) to improve my SP rotation. Which pitcher do you think is best to target out of these options:
    Ted Lilly
    Ricky Nolasco
    Kyle Drabek
    Jeremy Hellickson
    Jaime Garcia

  96. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    GREY can you rank these please,danks,kuroda,hellickson,wood,britton,kennedy,thanks ,YOU DA MAN

  97. Luke T says:
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    Between Frenchy and Ryan (the neck tatoo) Roberts for you last utility spot, who do you go with?

  98. C.O.C. says:
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    So Grey tells me not to draft guys like Beckett, Burnett, and Lackey, and what do I do? I own all 3, and am currently kicking everyones but in my league because of it. But I need help figuring out who I should start this week…..16 team H2H weekly standard league….Lee, Oswalt, and Beckett are automatics, but I must start 4 of this bunch: two-starters-Narveson,Burnett and Chris Young, and single starts Lackey,McClellan, Beachy, Duensing and Colon?

  99. C.O.C. says:
    (link)

    So Grey tells me not to draft guys like Beckett, Burnett, and Lackey, and what do I do? I own all 3, and am currently kicking everyones but in my league because of it. But I need help figuring out who I should start this week…..16 team H2H weekly standard league….Lee, Oswalt, and Beckett are automatics, but I must start 4 of this bunch: two-starters-Narveson,Burnett and Chris Young, and single starts Lackey,McClellan, Beachy, Duensing and Colon?

  100. second says:
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    Which side do you prefer, Lester/Crawford or Gavin Floyd/Kemp?

  101. C.O.C. says:
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    @C.O.C. Ooops…..must’ve double-tapped….

  102. JohnnyFive says:
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    @grey You like Colby Lewis in his two starts more than Kennedy or Hudson? Seems like I might be able to get him for cheap.

  103. Carlos Z has slurpees says:
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    Madsen or Boggs to replace Contreras?

    Together they’d make a pretty good cop drama, or a Magnum PI type show, with Boggs as the trial lawyer buddy.

  104. andy says:
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    I’m shopping Alex Gordon, and I’ve been offered Jordan Walden. It’s a keeper league, and I’ve got Gordon for cheap. I sort of need a closer, but that’s not a deal I take is it? Any help would be appreciated.

  105. C.O.C. says:
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    One more question. Would you start Cory Hart yet in a weekly league if the alternative was a guy like…..say Josh Willingham? Or should I wait one more week? Hart will probably only play 5 games this week…..

  106. Danbo says:
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    Grey,

    Is Edinson Vólquez worth holding? The guys I’m considering in his place are James Shields or Brandon Beachy.

    Also, I can own 2 out of the following 3: John Axford, Jordan Walden, Mitchell Boggs. Any advice?

  107. Alex says:
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    strong in offense, weak in saves…

    Hunter / Kendrick for Putz / Lowrie a solid deal or should i be scared of Lowrie’s playing time?

    thanks grey!

  108. D. Fister says:
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    12 team h2h, deep bench.

    Seth Smith, Francoeur, Morse, Kubel? for 4th outfielder with Morrison DL’d.

    Also, is it time to give up on Bedard? His K’s are still there..

  109. tHe sHiT says:
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    @Grey: Start these guys today?
    Gio Gonzalez @ LAA
    Narveson vs CIN
    Kennedy vs PHI

  110. Buge Hoobs says:
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    @Grey:

    With Grady off the DL, Abreu gets shoved to my BN

    10 team 5×5 weekly, better BN use picking up one of these SPs?
    Harang, Pineda, Wolf, Volquez, Hellickson, E Santana, Arroyo

Comments are closed.