Carlos Beltran won’t play in day games following night games.  He won’t play in too many games in a row.  He won’t play in games where the other team’s starting pitcher’s last name ends in an N.  Here’s me playing the world’s smallest violin for everyone at Metco.  Since Beltran’s return, 1 homer and zero steals.  So he’s not running and he’s hitting for an empty average with little power.  There’s no crying in baseball and there’s no sentimentality in fantasy baseball.  If you’re holding onto your 2nd round pick because you held him this long already, well, you’ve held him too long.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Anibal Sanchez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks.  If Oliver Perez is the crazy girlfriend that you have hot passionate sex with but is afraid may stab you in the jugular in the middle of the night, then Anibal is her sister.  (If you followed that, give yourself a gold star.)

Dan Uggla – Hit his 30th homer yesterday as the Marlins rubbed their hands together thinking about who they were going to get for Uggla this offseason.

Joe Blanton – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Threw a gem against the Marlins.  I overthought this one and… sonavabench!  Should’ve just started him.  (BTW, is overthought one word or two?  There I go again!)

Hiroki Kuroda – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  He was in the borderline starters post on Monday.  He’s a decent start on Sunday too.

Rafael Furcal – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs.  No one plays harder when you’re playing against a terrible team with a playoff spot sewn up.  No one.

Zach Duke – So this borderline starter didn’t work out quite as well.  You take Zach Duke to the cashier and she rings you up six innings and five earned runs.  That’s the price of playing sucky guys, I guess.

Trevor Cahill – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER.  And my final borderline starter for yesterday worked out okay as I finally learned to not bet against the A’s.

Andrew McCutchen – The Dread Pirate hit his 12th homer yesterday in 3/4 of a season.  *sipping tea with my pinkie out, crossing legs*  Do you dare draft The Dread Pirate and Robot Jones on the same fantasy team next year?

Edwin Encarnacion – 2 HRs, but whoa, turkey, guess what else?  He batted third.  Zoinks!

Brian McCann – Left the game with a bruised wrist, which is not nearly as delicious as a braised wrist.

Martin Prado – Now batting near .500 in the last week and the hits just keep coming as he went 2-for-4 yesterday.

Jorge de la Rosa – 2 1/3 IP, 6 ER as dlR pitched his worst start since June.  You’re killing me, Smalls!

Carlos Gonzalez – Pulled from the game with a tight hamstring.  Car(No)Go, as it were.

Huston Street – Came on in the 7th.  Yeah, he’s not the closer yet.

Franklin Morales – Got the save as he gave up three inherited runs and one of his own.  So, yeah, Street may be the closer again soon.

Brad Hawpe – Hit a homer yesterday.  If you would’ve told me he retired two months ago, I might’ve believed you.

Alex Rios – HR yesterday.  If you bet that Rios and Hawpe would hit a homer on the same day, that’s like Powerball money you just won.

John Danks – 6 IP, 7 ER.  Showing de la Rosa two can play the “I Hate My Fantasy Owners Game,” he had his worst start since May.   After the game, Danks tweeted, “I pitched.  #sucky”

Bobby Jenks – Probably done for the year with a calf injury (with his size you’d think they’d call it a cow).  Linebrink would probably step in for any saves.

Adam Dunn – Hit his 38th homer yesterday.  We have a week and a half for Dunn to hit two more homers or the world will explode.

Matt Cain – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Now really isn’t the time for that regression that every fantasy baseball ‘pert has been predicting since May.

Randy Wells – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  According to Cubs fans, without Milton Bradley telling opposing hitters which pitches are coming, the Cubs are unstoppable.

Prince Fielder – Hit his 41st homer yesterday as he tied Pujols for the RBI lead with 129.  Going into the final weekend, if Prince is still neck-and-neck with Pujols, Albert should buy seats for Cecil Fielder right behind the Brewers dugout.  (For those in the back of the room, Cecil and Prince don’t get along.)  Devious Grey out.

  1. Grey

    Grey says:


  2. DrEasy says:

    @Steve: So yeah, I had Morales and Gutierrez, and also DlR on my team for good measure…

    I picked up Edwin a few days ago when I finally dumped Chipper and I’m not looking back! One of my few good ideas this year so far…

    Oh and I know about SAGNOF, but no way I’m going near Linebrink.

  3. big o says:

    i know those girls .

    nice post through-out .

  4. Colotov Mocktease says:


    CHICAGO — Bobby Jenks is done for the year after suffering a pulled right calf muscle during pregame workouts.

  5. DrEasy says:

    Should I start AJ Burnett tomorrow against Kazmir?

  6. BSA says:

    Sweet and Sour in the today’s post –
    I threw DLR one too many times and got bitten with the 20+ ERA while trusting Encarnacion and Furcal on the left side of my infield to maintain my HR lead and help gain some ground in Runs and AVG.

    Sour sucks just a bit more now than during the heat of August.

  7. Tony says:

    prince fielder or ryan howard next year?

  8. matthole says:

    @Grey: genius i is….started headley and encarnacion this week based on matchups/homers…….less than 2 weeks left till its over snitches

  9. zombie says:

    Still in top form down the homestretch Grey! & I’ll accept the gold star for the thrill of having a few wild chick versions of Anibal/Olivers with no regret, and as consolation for many of us battling for a bronze these days. There is no glory in most regular season wins. Undone by the disastrous and inexplicable Ranger collective offensive drought (@ HOME?!?!) and not risking a probable Gallardo short damaging outing on Sunday when a Win would have assured a battle for a Championship. Sonavaplayoffdrop. Crap. I guess it’s on to Keeper inquiries for some of us. But thanks so very much for all the help and laughs & good luck to many of the still active regulars who help make your outstanding site unique and gratefully, not for everyone.

  10. Tony says:

    is anyone trusting padilla tomm for a spot start vs. the nats?

  11. Critter Nagurski says:

    Is Edwin every going to reach his potential? Every single year I spend a couple of bucks in the draft so I have the privilege of being the first one to drop him every year.

  12. BigD says:

    I’ll one up ya DrEasy. I had Danks, Morales, dlR, and decided to try out the Duke Tues. My ass hurts.

  13. big o says:

    i’m desparate for a few wins in roto , so i’m pitch and ditching him .
    torre should let him go until his arm falls off …. so , i’m hoping for 7 innings … as the pen needs some rest .

    wouldn’t touch him in h2h league , though .

  14. Tony says:

    @big o: ya thats what i’m in, i’ve got a rotation of Beckett, Jurjjens, wainwright, shields, and Ubaldo throwing over the next two weeks…. i’ve gotta total a MINIMUM of 50 innings, which is doable along with my RP’s throwing a couple innings here and there….

    I hate to start spot starting this early. I’ve been Effff’d by it in the past! I think i’ll stick with the guys that got me here.

  15. Matt K says:

    Linebrink really? Not thorton or Dotel?

  16. Matt K says:

    @Tony Padilla is good for the win and 5K’s but may screw your ratios like last time out. I think he’ll rebound though. Anderson is a better bet tomorrow if available.

  17. bobbo says:

    Danks, De La Rosa, and Morales all active for me… needless to say, my WHIP and ERA totals won’t speak to me anymore. Our relationship is strained.

  18. Jobu's rum says:

    @Matt K: I grabbed both Dotel and Linebrink this morning (Thornton unavailable), though I’m not sure why Grey is thinking Linebrink … he’s been awful for the last 2 mos (Linebrink, not Grey!). Anyone have any insight?

  19. Tony says:

    @Jobu’s rum: @Matt K: for some reason matthew berry says the same about linebrink potentially getting the saves as well…. idk if thats a good thing, lol

    pretty much there’s only a few saves left anyways, so you can snatch up linebrink or one of the other goons, but you’re probbaly not going to get more than 3-4 saves, IF THAT…..

  20. Matt K says:

    Half way through the final 2 weeks of a championship in H2H….4 saves makes the difference.

  21. Tony says:

    @Matt K: maybe in H2H, roto probably not, and those 4 saves might cost you in other areas, Linebrink isn’t the most reliable…

    3-7 with a 4.14 ERA? given up 4 runs in his past 7 appearances…

    depends how much that save is worth to you and who you’re playing H2H.

  22. mc serch says:

    Great roundup….love the “Sandlot” ref! I’ve got 45 innings to make up and I’m streaming like a madman…Wade Davis and Homer Bailey today and god knows who manana…my pitching roster is virtually unrecognizable…keep those questionable starter posts coming!

  23. Rick Dempsey says:

    @Grey: Sportsline says that Thornton is more in line to close than Linebrink.

  24. Neil says:


    Two outfielders, one is currently 31, the other is currently 26. Over the past five seasons, each outfielder had one injury-plagued year and I am removing that year from the following figures (which are straight averages of their four healthy seasons):

    Player A, 31 years old – .287/.390/.542 (.930 OPS), 106 runs, 34 HR, 108 RBI, 14 steals. Played 155 or more games in each of his healthy seasons. No trends/deviations in the numbers

    Player B, 26 years old – .281/.372/.495 (.867 OPS), 116 runs, 27 HR, 81 RBI, 29 steals. Played 158 or more games in each of his healthy seasons. Trending down in AVG, but up in steals

    Thank you!

    PS (A = Bay, B = Sizemore)

  25. BanksyBall says:

    Any thought to starting Kazmir tonight or sit him against the Yanks like normal? Could use the win, but ERA and WHIP are razor thin right now…

  26. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BanksyBall: He’s had success vs. them. It’s obviously risky, but I’d start him.

  27. Dad says:

    @Grey: Grey, a quick thank you for your funny and informative posts throughout this baseball season (and even moreso for replying to my questions). Between some good luck and your advice, I’m in 1st place by 13 points so i can finally tell my leaguemates about this site. When the prize money comes through i’ll be sending a few daiquiries your way.

  28. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Dad: Cool, glad I could help.

  29. Bob Walk says:

    I jus picked up Thornton and dropped Jinxy. I should’ve dropped Jinxy after he blew a save about a weekago after I streamed Danks and was in line for the win. There needs to be a name in the glossary for this specific situation: When you own a starter and closer, both of whom are on the same team in real life, the starter pitches 7 or 8 productive innings, the closer then proceeds to blow the game. To me, this feels worse than what De La Rosa did to me yesterday. I felt violated by Jinxy.

  30. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Bob Walk: Hmm… There should be a term for that. Wait, isn’t there?

  31. Seattle Zen says:

    I just read somewhere that Wade Davis is slated to start the final game of the season for the Rays. Does anyone know if other teams have announced who will start their final game? In Yahoo leagues, if you are at all under your Max IP on the final day, you get all of the innings your pitchers hurl. I’d like to have as many final day starters as possible.

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Seattle Zen: I haven’t seen that, but I’d like to see it too.

  33. Steve says:

    Man – there is nothing like me picking a guy up to cool him off, Howie Kendrick being just the latest example.

  34. penpen says:

    As a Dodgers fan its great to see that Bills’ legal tender backed by gold tonight (so far).

    As someone who just dropped Bills a few days ago after his latest fiasco, I hope he blows up soon so I don’t scratch my own eyes out.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Kendrick had the highest batting average in the 2nd half with 100 ABs. You got magic in those waiver wire pickup fingers of you.

    @penpen: Hehe

  36. Steve says:

    @Grey: I am The Cooler. You know what else? I picked up Brendan Ryan two days ago – and he hasn’t started since.

    That said, Godzilla has been on fire since I picked HIM up.

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I should’ve had you pick up Drew Stubbs cause he’s killing me in one league.

  38. penpen says:

    @Grey: I fear the ghost of Branch Rickey torments me for my faithlessness…

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @penpen: Rick Monday’s going to pour gasoline on your bed when you’re sleeping. Lasorda will hold the match.

  40. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: It’s so painful watching a guy you don’t believe in (Bailey) and you own.

  41. Steve says:

    @Grey: But for those 90-100 (or whatever) pitches, we DO believe – and that is our problem.

    We are weak.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Actually, it’s just painful to watch the Reds and Pirates.

  43. Steve says:

    @Grey: Now Carlos Guillen is taunting me.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I hate Kelly Johnson. In so many ways.

  45. Steve says:

    @Grey: Salve that hate with a Drew Stubbs single.

  46. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Johnson turned a double play. We’re good now. Though the last routine grounder would’ve been nice for the double play. Assume the double play!

  47. Steve says:

    @Grey: Assume makes an ass out of u and me.

    Thank-you for your time. I’m off to lunch.

  48. Steve says:

    @Steve: Will you look at that – I’ve even cooled Chase Headley off.

    Bases juiced? No problem. Let me summon up a strikeout for ya.

  49. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Could you not do that for Headley? Thank you.

  50. Steve says:

    @Grey: And the gut-wrenching irony? The next guy up clears said bases with a double.

    You couldn’t make it up.

  51. Steve says:

    @Grey: In case you’re wondering, I own him too.

    Well, you know what they say. A problem shared – is a problem two people have got.

  52. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Ha, I like that saying. Is Stauffer really throwing a no-hitter?

  53. Steve says:

    @Grey: That’s what my people are telling me.

    It may be a no-hitter, but it’s a four-walker.

  54. Carl Spackler says:

    Robinson Tejada vs Clev or Padilla vs Nats. I need a win bad……and some k’s would be nice too

  55. DrEasy says:

    Steve, stay away from Headley! >:-|

  56. DrEasy says:

    (that was me frowning at you)

  57. peter says:

    Shields isn’t start-able against @Texas, this week, right? I’m thinking it’s long past time to cut ties. I’d pick up Padilla for his start tomorow.

  58. cake_eater says:

    Oh man, Sanchez is dealing right now, but why am I so nervous? Give the dude some run support plz!

  59. big o says:

    i thought the saying was … you have to “halve” faith ,
    so i dropped him from 3 of my 6 teams .
    the man , the myth , the hank .

  60. Bob Walk says:

    Thornton came in for the 9th in a non-save situation vs mostly right handed hitters. 1H 1K 0R allowed. I guess this means he is not the closer…
    I want to take this moment to personally thank Tim Hudson for offsetting De La Rosa’s outing last night. Now if only Arroyo can offset Wandy’s outing tomorrow…

  61. cake_eater says:

    @cake_eater: …And my prayers were answered! Thank you Mr. Fantasy God

  62. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Carl Spackler: Tejeda

    @peter: Pick up Padilla.

    @cake_eater: I think you jinxed him.

    @Bob Walk: Yeah, I don’t think Thornton’s definitely the closer, but he’ll be in the picture probably.

    @big o: Ha!

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