Your man, Grey, loves a piece of cheap tail like Ice Cube loves a nappy dugout. (In fact, I might love cheap tail more. This is totally debatable between Ice Cube and I. Anytime you want to grab a podium, Cube, and go word for word. Bring. It.) If you’re in a keeper league (or […]
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You know how you never really see yourself for who you are? Right, well, I wonder if Sheets doesn’t see himself as injury-prone. Instead, Sheets sees everyone else and thinks they’re Magoo’ing their way through their life. He sits in the locker room and he’s like, “Wow, Fielder I can’t believe you didn’t just twist […]
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Rangers Decide Catching Wins Championships
September 16, 2008 | September's Daily Notes | 38 Commentsby: Grey
Gerald Laird? Yeah, he’s serviceable. Jarrod Saltimbocca? He was enticing enough to get from the Braves and he’s wonderful with broccoli rabe. Taylor Teagarden? Grand slam yesterday. For his sixth HR in 12 games. Before you rush out to pickup Teagarden, see 1/18 of a centimeter after this period. Max Ramirez, the future at catcher […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?One guy you drafted in the 2nd round. The Ethier guy you drafted in the last round just so you’d have someone to draft when Rauch became the closer for the Nots. One guy will get drafted again in the first five rounds next year; the Ethier guy may be grabbed as a fifth outfielder […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Strong Winds Expected In The Land Of Oz
September 11, 2008 | September's Daily Notes | 9 Commentsby: Grey
Roy Oswalt threw his second consecutive shutout yesterday. In his last 32 1/3 innings, he’s been scoreless. Since the All-Star break, he has a 1.94 ERA in 10 starts. He just farted into a bottle and it sold at a Sotheby’s auction for $1.7 million. The cure for the common cold is in Oswalt’s passed […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I liked Carlos Quentin going into spring of ’07. Whoa! You got the wrong year there, buddy? No, no I didn’t. I drafted Quentin in lots of leagues in ’07 because of his .940 OPS in the minors. He looked like the real deal. Had pizz-ower, spizz-eed and a good iz-eye. (If Jay-Z plays fantasy […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Schierholtz Is German For Pantyhose
September 11, 2008 | September's Daily Notes | 23 Commentsby: Grey
There’s so much to love about Fred Lewis. Let’s see… Power — check! Speed — check! A name that sounds like an 80s sitcom character — check! I’ll take Fred Lewis in the center square for the win. Alas, Fred Lewis is about to undergo season-ending surgery on a foot bunion. (The operating podiatrist hopes […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Pronk, a nickname for Travis Hafner which stands for Project Donkey, used to be cute, now it’s just stupid. Project Donkey? How about Project Jackass? When you drafted him, you wanted Josh Hamilton — Project Junkie — numbers. Not Project Flunky. David Eckstein, Project Spunky, is even better. Hafner looks like Project Monkey, which is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Tommy John Surgery, “Hey, has anyone seen Billy Wagner’s arm?” All Pitcher Arms ignore Tommy John Surgery as they continue to read Men’s Fitness Magazine. Tommy John Surgery, “Well, it’s important he gets this message. His arm’s not going to get better without me.” Other Pitcher Arms whistle. Tommy John Surgery, “I will not be […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?You are now about to witness the strength of fantasy baseball knowledge. Verse One: Ice McLouth Crazy motherf**ker named Nate McLouth… From a gang called Piratez With Attitudes… Sandoval hit blooper, cuz he was sawed off… With an eye injury, Nate got hauled off… Just when he started 100 Miles and Runnin’… To steal 40 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?$12 Salads You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for $10 schmools […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Kila Ka’aihue will need a nickname if he plans on being as good as he looked in the minors this year. How about Misplaced Apostrophe? Nope. Ka’aihue hits home runs and, get this, doesn’t strikeout. Weird! Check this out, Tootsie Roll. He had 67 strikeouts and 104 walks. Sign me up! Wait, you haven’t even […]
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