Yesterday was Juan Rivera’s birthday. *giggles like a schoolgirl* Wait, I wanna think about how the Blue Jays cut Juan Rivera on his birthday. *giggles again* It was his birthday! Man, that is rich. The Blue Jays should’ve had someone tell Juan a passage from Ezekiel 25:17. Not someone important just to rub it in […]
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Jack McKeon’s got a word for players like Hanley Ramirez — lollygaggers. For 5 years, Hanley’s been riding the crest of natural ability. As I’ve said before about Hanley and Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well. Think about the hot girl who got all the guys in high school then lost her looks ten years later. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Replacing Phil Coke in the Tigers rotation is Charlie Furbush. It’s about time that Leyland gave Furbush a mustache ride. Furbush also sounds like a character description for someone in a Woodstock documentary. Or a character name in a 70’s porn flick made by Leyland called, “The Marlboro Mandingo.” That was co-starring Virginia Slim. Furbush […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ryan Madson hit the DL and some Bastardo took over, Broxton is a bastardo and Guerra is getting saves since Kuo can’t watch Lifetime without crying — assuming there are Dodger saves, Rauch was named the closer and Frank2 started getting all the saves, Lyon is out for the season and Melancon looks terrible, La […]
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Injury Trek Starring Jean-Erik Bedard
June 30, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 102 Commentsby: Grey
Erik Bedard is headed to the DL. The Bedarded they come, the Bedarded they fall. So, he has a sprained knee. “Ow, I think I hurt myself getting onto the examination table to have you check my shoulder.” That’s Bedard at the doctor’s office. Right now, the Erich Bedardens are showing the Bennis Carpensheeters a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Forget Rolaids, Phillies ‘Pen Needs Painkillers
June 29, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 174 Commentsby: Grey
Ryan Madson went to the DL with numbness in his pitching hand. Hello, bullpen? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Brad Lidge is due back in a few weeks. AHHHHH! Now you feel a little sick. Antonio Bastardo would be the immediate add for vulture saves. That’ll keep you […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Our League Updates, I.E. How I Stopped Loving Morneau and Alvarez
June 28, 2011 | Our Leagues | 111 Commentsby: Grey
Since everyone loves a good schadenfreude session, I figured I’d let you look at our teams, point and laugh. Hey, at least you have your ‘stache! Thanks, Random Italicized Voice. Anyway, here’s our fantasy baseball teams and how they’re currently doing: Yahoo Friends & Family (host: Brandon Funston of Yahoo!) — 14 team, mixed, 5×5, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I contemplated picking up Lonnie Chisenhall for about as long as it takes me to eat a pupusa from my neighborhood El Salvadorean lady that has different hairnets to match her camisas. About 12.7 seconds. I’ll risk indigestión for those cheesy-pork flapjacks of wonderful. At the waiver wire, I was like, “So many rookies have […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Shin-Soo Choo Suffers Thumb Boo-Boo
June 27, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 184 Commentsby: Grey
The horrid season for Shin-Soo Choo continues. He’s probably wishing he just went the Bob Feller-Inglorious Basterd route and did his required military time this year in his home country. Kevin Correia said, “We could’ve used him.” Now when Choo gets blotto he can’t even hitchhike home from one side of the road. An optimistic […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Recently, I had the pleasure of doing karaoke with Johnny Cueto. He decided to go with Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. Here’s what he sang, “I took my ERA and I took it down…. I climbed a mountain and I turned around… And I saw my xFIP in the snow covered hills… Well, I’ve been afraid of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Truth Is Out There Somewhere, Right?
June 24, 2011 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 72 Commentsby: Grey
The A’s promoted Chris Carter. Too bad Chris Carter wasn’t around when Mulder was pitching for the A’s. Then they could’ve had Scully call the game. Chris Berman looked at his stats and says, “All Chris Carter does is hit home runs!” which means he’ll kill your average, won’t steal bases, and probably won’t help […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I usually like to wait a couple of months into the season to look at some of the catchers that couldn’t throw out your grandma even if she loses the tennis balls off her walker. (What is the deal with those tennis balls? I feel like that’s the kinda nonsense thing that would have a […]
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