by: Grey
I always thought Bobby Parnell was the little black kid in the movie, Role Models, but I stand corrected. Now I think he’s the new closer for the Mets. At least that’s what I hope. On one hand, I feel like the Mets will want to see what Parnell can do in the closer role. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?So it’s not really the 2nd half mark in the fantasy baseball season, but it’s the All-Star Break so what else are we going to talk about? The newest The Challenge: Rivals? If this show were on E!, CT would not only have his own spinoff, but he’d be getting married to a Kardashian by […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Apparently, A-Rod’s got a bucket list (get creative with letter replacements for b) that he wrote when he was 15 years old. Madonna, check. Cameron Diaz, check. Christie Brinkley, check. “I wonder if Phoebe Cates will come to my pool party.” To spice things up, he puts on Betamax copies of Skinemax movies. “Oh, Emmanuelle…” […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Despite Ronnie’s warnings, I fell in love with the Jor-Z, sure. I still like him a lot. You can totally Control-Alt-Delete this opening in keeper leagues too. But — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — Jordan Zimmermann is going to be shut down in the next month. The Nats are saying maybe another […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Zack Cozart is a pickup in all leagues where you need a middle infidel. Go, I’ll wait here. *scratches chin, yawns, covers mustache with two fingers to see what I look like without it, shakes head* Welcome back! Cozart hit 17 homers and stole 30 bases last year. You know who that reminds me of? […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Two weeks ago, Albert Pujols fractured his wrist. He said he was going to be out for 6 weeks but he wasn’t sure until he went back to his home planet Krypton, where he’s known as Al-El. On Krypton, Al-El had a heart-to-heart with a hologram image of Stan Musial. What Stan told Al-El was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday was Juan Rivera’s birthday. *giggles like a schoolgirl* Wait, I wanna think about how the Blue Jays cut Juan Rivera on his birthday. *giggles again* It was his birthday! Man, that is rich. The Blue Jays should’ve had someone tell Juan a passage from Ezekiel 25:17. Not someone important just to rub it in […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jack McKeon’s got a word for players like Hanley Ramirez — lollygaggers. For 5 years, Hanley’s been riding the crest of natural ability. As I’ve said before about Hanley and Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well. Think about the hot girl who got all the guys in high school then lost her looks ten years later. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Replacing Phil Coke in the Tigers rotation is Charlie Furbush. It’s about time that Leyland gave Furbush a mustache ride. Furbush also sounds like a character description for someone in a Woodstock documentary. Or a character name in a 70’s porn flick made by Leyland called, “The Marlboro Mandingo.” That was co-starring Virginia Slim. Furbush […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ryan Madson hit the DL and some Bastardo took over, Broxton is a bastardo and Guerra is getting saves since Kuo can’t watch Lifetime without crying — assuming there are Dodger saves, Rauch was named the closer and Frank2 started getting all the saves, Lyon is out for the season and Melancon looks terrible, La […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Erik Bedard is headed to the DL. The Bedarded they come, the Bedarded they fall. So, he has a sprained knee. “Ow, I think I hurt myself getting onto the examination table to have you check my shoulder.” That’s Bedard at the doctor’s office. Right now, the Erich Bedardens are showing the Bennis Carpensheeters a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ryan Madson went to the DL with numbness in his pitching hand. Hello, bullpen? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Brad Lidge is due back in a few weeks. AHHHHH! Now you feel a little sick. Antonio Bastardo would be the immediate add for vulture saves. That’ll keep you […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?