by: Grey
In 2012, Michael Pineda will open the sky and fart thunder. He will do a duet with Bruno Mars that will sound like rap to people who don’t know rap and their song will reach the top of the charts for 12 weeks. He will then put together a table from Ikea in less than […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool was shallow, and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, the 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen were more or […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
After drudging through an Andy Dufresne-type tunnel for the top 20 catchers for 2011, I find myself with a group that actually really hurt or helped your team depending on how you drafted. If you went wrong with your 1st baseman, it could kill your season. Hey, Justin Morneau, no hard feelings from me. We […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I didn’t drop the ball on the keeper posts, things took precedence during the season. But, guess what? Keepers are back every Friday, so let’s talk keepers, boo. In fact, let’s talk Starlin Castro. That commie bastage. In 2011, his line looked like 91/10/66/.307/22. That was hitting third or higher (mostly leadoff) for a Cubs […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Marco Scutaro!” and now you don’t have baseball […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The final results are in and I tested negative! Oh, wait, this is for the fantasy baseball leagues. Um, yeah, ignore that first sentence. This year in a not-so-unprecedented move of not-so-unprecedented size and enormity. We’re giving away prizes to our fantasy league winners! Last year we gave away a hot tub, but this year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Or as they call them in New Jersey, the “What’s this crap?” Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
On the first day of the season, I said something profound and uplifting. Don’t go back to look. I’m sure I did. Today, I’m like Mark Twain talking about summer in San Francisco but less pithy. The coldest winter I ever spent was the last day of the baseball season. It’s metaphorical, friend. Trust me. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Jered Weaver will not make his final start of the year because he doesn’t care about your H2H team. Weaver ends the season with a line of 18-8/2.41/1.01/198. If you throw out three bad starts, his ERA would’ve been 1.72 in 220 innings, but if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts no one would […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Mark Trumbo is done for the year with a stress fracture in his foot. What an inauspicious end to his rookie season, if I’m using the word inauspicious correctly, or even spelling it right. Year line was 65/29/87/.254/9. Trumbo’s OBP was tizzerrible at .291, but his minor league rates suggest he can grow into someone […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Alex Gordon and Jeff Francoeur were shut down for the year because the peasant Royals want to give Lorenzo Cain and Jarrod Dyson a full three days to show their worth. Gordon’s line this year was 101/23/87/.303/17. Terrific! Wonderful! Tonderific! But if you peak under the hood, things aren’t as they seem. His BABIP is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Twins aren’t winning. Twins haven’t won all year, actually. You can look it up. They’re 0-for-2011. But Ben Revere wants to steal bases for no reason. I love that. I’d prefer my fantasy players act selfishly and just try to inflate their own value. Maybe that’s lame, but we’re talking about fantasy baseball. We’re not […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?