This year in the minors Domonic Brown had a line of 62/19/64/.323/14 and .385/.580/.965. Let’s recap, whoa/wow/nice/yum-yum/don’t mind if I do and yowsers/that’s lovely/yowsersthat’slovely. To break that down for the people who skimmed the first two sentences, he has 20/20 potential with plate discipline. It’s the fantasy baseball equivalent to: “I don’t think this glazed donut can get any better.” “How about we sprinkle bacon on it?” Drool. By my estimation (and Keith Law’s), he’s the number one prospect in the minors. (Desmond Jennings is a close 2nd in my book that was rejected by Simon & Schuster.) Either Werth will be shown the door or Philly fans will kidnap Raul Ibanez and toss him blindfolded into the newly-constructed Octagon in Citizens Flank’s parking lot. Is Domonic Brown more trouble than he’s Werth? No, I don’t think so. Unless we’re talking about spelling his name. I’d grab Brown in 12 team mixed leagues or deeper. In keepers, you should own him already. If you don’t, then now might be a good time. Or now. Or now. Or… You get the point. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Alex Gordon – Is this the Alex Gordon that was called up three years ago after tearing up the minors only to flame out? Or is this the Alex Gordon that is called up today that just got done ripping up the minors that will finally fulfill his promise? I don’t know. He crushed the minors this year — in 277 ABs, 14 homers, 8 steals, .310 average, .451 OBP and a 1.018 OPS. He can be a 20+ homer, 15 steal guy over the course of a full season if he doesn’t get in his own way and the Royals give him every day ABs. I would take a flyer on him for your corner infidel spot for the chance he finally makes good on the promise. If you’ve heard this story before about Gordon, it’s because you probably have, so don’t drop anyone too valuable.
Chris Johnson – He’s hitting right now and he has some power potential. Plus, if he fails you, you can say, “Chris Johnson meet P. Johnson,” while urinating on your computer screen that’s showing your fantasy team.
Starlin Castro – In one league, I’m rocking Luis Castillo in my middle infield. I don’t tell you this because I think you should pickup Castillo or for pity. I want sympathy! Castro started off as a hero to millions then he left all his believers scavenging for scraps. That commie bastard! Now he’s hitting and stealing bases.
Neil Walker – I’m pretty lukewarm on Walker. He looks like Coghlan at MI, which is all right. At least right now, he’s Coghlan when Coghlan’s hitting.
Asdrubal Cabrera – I’d prefer to take an As-Cab to a Walker.
Scott Sizemore – He’s baaack! And doing nothing like when he left. Who knew a meth’d out Tom Sizemore would be the most reliable Sizemore this year? I’d grab Scotty for the chance he can make good on his promise. (He promised me 14/16 in the preseason. He’s lied thus far.)
Ty Wigginton – His ownership numbers are trending down but that’s wrong, I tell ya. Guy gets streaky like your acid wash jeans from the 80s. Unlike the jeans, you don’t have to deny ever owning him.
Jason Bartlett – Welcome back to 103.5 MI-ROQ, where it’s middle infielders all day and night! Bassoon, tire screech, crazy cackling, triangle, cow bell, more cow bell and one last ding. Don’t fahgettaBartlett!
Matt Diaz – Dye-As murders lefties, which is similar to being a lefty killer. Play him against his strong side, sit vs. weak side. Rinse, repeat.
Drew Stubbs – At 13/18 with a .245 average, he’s having a season that a young Krispie Young would’ve admired.
Juan Rivera – I’ll be honest, some of these guys are hard to get excited about. Juan Rivera’s one of those guys. Wait, who was I talking about? See!
Jack Cust – If you don’t know what Cust gives you, go back three places and read Matthew Berry.
Luke Scott – Hard to recommend Scott too highly. He’s currently hitting and he could get you some homers, but he might not play every day. It’s like masturbating to The Golden Girls. It’ll get the job done, but why not switch the channel?
Jordan Zimmermann – I went over J-Z in, like, the last three Buys. Scroll around the site, will be good for pageviews.
Travis Wood – There could be some ups and downs for Wood. Oofa! Thank you, don’t forget to tip your waitresses. He gets the Astros today. Giddy up, Wood. That’s what she said!
J.J. Putz – SAGNOF!
Matt Thornton – See 1/8th of an inch above.
Sergio Santos – Nothing comes between me and my Sergio Santos. Except maybe Putz and Thornton. I’d grab them, in the order I’ve listed them.
Chris Perez – We have to assume Wood will take over when he returns. But Perez could have the closer job for the rest of the season if Wood is traded. But II, Making A But Out Of Nothing At All: Even if Wood returns, he’s far from secure.
Mike Leake – Even Dusty can’t continue to throw Leake as he flies past a reasonable innings limit. Dusty’ll put him in Harang’s uniform then send him back to the mound.
Kris Medlen – I love me some Medlen. We practically grew up together. Or maybe it was just that I owned him in a few fantasy leagues for a few months. Neverthehoo! Medlen’s having his innings limited, it’s hard to own that, unfortunately.
Phil Hughes – The Yankees have limited Hughes to 4 starts in the past month and will probably keep him close to the same workload moving forward. It’s Hughes Rules… Skip him for a start then let him throw a mediocre 5 inning game.
Josh Beckett – Right after he goes against the hapless M’s tonight, you write something like this on your league messageboard, “Now that Beckett is doing great, I have an excess of starters that I want to trade. Will trade everyone but Beckett because I really believe him… Unless someone makes a good offer.” Then you take any offer you get for Beckett. That’s ygolohcysp, baby!