Fantasy Baseball Advice

Top 20 catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and 3rd basemen are in the books.  What a strange, glorious trip it’s been!  Though not really.  Today, the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball get to shine.  Hmm… Actually, most of these won’t shine.  They’re cloudy with a chance of crapballs.  As I said in the 2nd baseball recap post, the shortstops are almost exactly as shallow as the shortstops and 3rd basemen.  Now it’s time to be a bit more specific.  The top ten shortstops were better than the 2nd basemen and 3rd basemen.  Yes, that is scary.  Though if you were in a deeper league or if you used an MI, the fall off from the 13th to 20th ranked shortstops is not pretty, whereas the 2nd basemen held their value as you dropped down the rankings.  3rd base was as big a mess in the lower half of the rankings as shortstops.  Okay, enough of the hubbub on the tomfoolery.  To recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Jose Reyes – I’m a huge Reyes fan and he didn’t disappoint this year.  He missed almost forty games and still was the top ranked shortstop.  If you filled him in halfway decently while he was injured, you had huge production from his spot.  He cut his K-rate by a solid margin, had a bit of luck on average but should’ve had more homers.  Six of one yadda³.  I kinda want to see him end up in Boston this offseason, but I’m also afraid his value will be inflated a’la Crawford and his injuries could resurface.  As for that whole sitting out to win the batting title thing, it doesn’t matter for fantasy.  It’s about as relevant as Miggy filling his jock strap with airplane bottles of liquor.  Turn down the treble and eliminate the noise.  On a side note, why is Jose Reyes freakin’ naked on the cover of ESPN, The Magazine?  I have girls back to my house and they don’t understand.  My moms sees this magazine and she’s questioning things.  Not that there’s anything wrong with the questions.  Preseason Rank #3, 2011 Projections:  110/12/60/.290/40, Final Numbers:  101/7/44/.337/39

2. Troy Tulowitzki – Imagine if I jumped out of DeLorean in March and told you Tulo would miss September, would you still have drafted him?  I’m guessing no.  I’m Guessing, II:  The Return of I’m Guessing; you would’ve regretted not drafting him.  I’m Guessing, III:  I Didn’t See The 2nd I’m Guessing But They’re Making Another One?; if you were in a H2H league, you probably would’ve regretted not drafting him less.  Preseason Rank #2, 2011 Projections:  95/30/105/.280/15, Final Numbers:  81/30/105/.302/9

3. Starlin Castro – Was one of those players that I wasn’t excited about in January when I did the rankings, then ended up with him on multiple teams because Rudy liked him a lot.  Sometimes Rudy’s smart.  (Sometimes last March Rudy told me he didn’t want Kemp on every team.  Sometimes I shouldn’t have listened.)   Preseason Rank #12, 2011 Projections:  75/5/55/.305/12, Final Numbers:  91/10/66/.307/22

4. Asdrubal Cabrera – He was ranked low by me in the preseason, but I did put him in a group of players you should take a flyer on at the end of the draft.  I’ve had much love for Asdrubal from the moment he burst on the scene with his easy-to-giggle-at first name.  Still, his power output this year is ridonkiculous.  25 homers?  Really?  Did Hanley and him urinate into a fountain as they made a wish at the same time?  (I ranked Asdrubal 22nd overall, but I said in the preseason blurb I’m only doing that to highlight him and he’s actually above Castro, so, ya know, don’t hate the ranker, hate the game.)  Preseason Rank #11, 2011 Projections:  80/7/60/.295/20, Final Numbers:  87/25/92/.273/17

5. Elvis Andrus – Came pretty close to performing exactly as I thought he would, but, for full disclosure purposes (or porpoises if dolphins are reading), I wanted more from Andrus.  He reminds me of Brian McCann.   I expect them to break out in a huge way, then they perform well and I’m still slightly disappointed.  I’m telling you, one of these years Andrus is gonna give us a Reyes in his prime year.  Preseason Rank #4, 2011 Projections:  95/5/50/.270/45, Final Numbers:  96/5/60/.279/37

6. Emilio Bonifacio – Went over him in the top 20 third basemen post.

7. Jimmy Rollins – Gave a much better season than I expected from him.  And it might’ve been better if it wasn’t for Utley’s injury.  While filling in the three hole (not like that!), Rollins’s line was 17/1/5/.271/5.  And you thought Utley only hurt you directly.  He’s giving you indirect reasons to dislike him.  Preseason Rank #5, 2011 Projections:  85/14/65/.260/20, Final Numbers:  87/16/63/.268/30

8. Erick Aybar – Back on January 18th (which is my birthday, mark it down!), I left Aybar off my top 20 preseason ranking and commenter, Fanthead, said, “Doesn’t Erick Aybar (who is not ranked) have the wherewithal to match (Alcides’s) numbers (70/3/40/.275/30)?”  Well, la di da!  Maybe Fanthead should do his own rankings!  And use words like wherewithal throughout!  I keed.  It was a good call by Fanthead.  Aybar did have the wherewithal.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  71/10/59/.279/30

9. Derek Jeter – Here’s what I said back in the preseason, “So I’ve been watching the first season of Friday Night Lights.  Great show.  I’d say SPOILER ALERT! but that season’s like seven years old.  Anyway, when Riggins was stealing Minka from Street, I kept imagining Street yelling, ‘So, Jeter, it’s okay to steal a cripple’s girlfriend, but you won’t fight a cripple?!’”  That has nothing to do with anything, but it made me laugh when I was reviewing what I had said.  Now Jeter’s on to the next one and Minka’s remaking a terrible show with an even worse show.  As for Jeter, what can be said about him that hasn’t been said before?  His power’s all but evaporated and he gets runs and average.  Yay or who cares?  Yay or who cares?  YAY OR WHO CARES?!  That’s what I’m asking you!  Sorry, lost my shizz there for a second.  Preseason Rank #6, 2011 Projections:  105/12/65/.280/15, Final Numbers:  84/6/61/.297/16

10. Jhonny Peralta – Went over him in the top 20 third basemen post.

11. J.J. Hardy – The real mystery with Hardy is why is he ranked so low.  Maybe because he came so cheaply in drafts or off of waivers, but he seemed way more valuable than 11th overall.  If I were ranking these guys, I’d put Hardy above Bonifacio.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  76/30/80/.269

12. Alexei Ramirez – In May and September, he hit around .300 and didn’t steal one base.  Removing doubles, triples and homers, that’s fifty-eight times he was on first and just stood there like a cat stole his tongue… Well, that cliche doesn’t work, but you get my drift.  Preseason Rank #7, 2011 Projections:  80/17/70/.280/14, Final Numbers:  81/15/70/.269/7

13. Yunel Escobar – I could be guaranteed Yunel’s final line in March and I wouldn’t draft him.  I’d still prefer to draft someone who could actually be better with upside.  Preseason Rank #18, 2011 Projections:  75/10/60/.290/7, Final Numbers:  77/11/48/.290/3

14. Ian Desmond – Was he all that and a bag of Funyuns?  Nah, not exactly.  But I think you could’ve done worse with your MI.  And you put what I think in one of those 50′s supercomputers and it spits back at you, “So what?”  Have I learned my lesson with Desmond for next year?  He hit 8 homers and stole 25 bases, not sure what there is to learn.  I’ll take it every day for my MI and twice on Muesday.  Preseason Rank #10, 2011 Projections:  80/15/70/.280/20, Final Numbers:  65/8/49/.253/25

15. Alcides Escobar – If I may toot my own horn — though if I could actually toot my own horn, I’d never leave the house — I did really well with projections this year.  January Grey was locked in.  January Grey, “Funny you use that turn of a phrase cause I’m actually locked up in Guatemala.  Look for me on Locked Up Abroad!”  Preseason Rank #11, 2011 Projections:  70/3/40/.275/30, Final Numbers:  69/4/46/.254/26

16. Cliff Pennington – Now we’re at the point in this exercise where you really shouldn’t have owned any of these guys all year long.  And, if you did, you’re not reading this anyway.  You’re over in our fantasy football or fantasy hockey or fantasy basketball section talking about how Grey’s a dumbass.  Preseason Rank #14, 2011 Projections:  60/5/40/.245/30, Final Numbers:  57/8/58/.264/14

17. Marco Scutaro – One good month and you too can get in the top 20 shortstops.  3 ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 shortstops!  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  59/7/54/.299/4

18. Hanley Ramirez – On top of him taping heroin to your back and pushing you through a Turkish checkpoint, his name value made everything much worse.  I’ll explain.  If you have someone like Scutaro and he’s not performing, you drop him for someone else.  You have Hanley and you hold out hope until the bitter end.  Or worse, you trade for him thinking he’s gonna bounce back.  Yeah, Hanley killed some teams this year.  We may forgive, we will never forget.  Preseason Rank #1, 2011 Projections:  100/26/100/.310/25, Final Numbers:  55/10/45/.243/20

19. Darwin Barney – Went over him the top 20 2nd basemen post.

20. Yuniesky Betancourt – His name anagrams to Batter Nine You Sucky.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  51/13/68/.252/4

Cliff Pennington – Pennington was the 21st overall selection in the 2005 draft by the Oakland Athletics. He started in A ball that year and looked pretty good over 69 games:  .276/.364/.359. While the power wasn’t really there, he was only 21 and did manage 15 doubles in 334 plate appearances. He was also 25/31 in stolen base attempts, a nifty ratio.

Given the first round pedigree and moderate success, Baseball America rated him the #83 prospect before the 2006 season. Unfortunately, he got off to a slow start and suffered a leg injury, resulting in just 234 plate appearances. He would never appear on another Baseball America top 100 list.

Still, in the following season, he finally got a full season of minor league ball, appearing in 138 games across A+ and AA ball. The results weren’t good for the 23-year-old: .253/.348/.368 – but hey, the slugging percentage was higher than his OBP! At least Pennington showed an advanced approach at the plate, posting a walk rate north of 12% and not striking out a whole lot.

There was still potential in the shortstop given that approach and it appeared he made use of his tools in 2008. He started off in AA, posting a .260/.379/.314 line. The batting average and power were absent – however the near 16% walk rate showed that he had mastered that level of pitching. Pennington was promoted to AAA and would get 294 plate appearances and do some damage: .297/.426/.386. Across both levels he had 31 steals in 37 attempts. He earned a quick cup of coffee for his efforts and batted .242/.339/.293 in the majors. He held his own with an 11.1% walk rate and 15.4% K rate.

Still, he started 2009 in AAA and didn’t quite perform as well. His BABIP dropped from .338 in 2008 to .300 and his slash line followed (.264/.345/.367). Still he was walking and not striking out a lot, so the Athletics brought him to the majors.

He batted an impressive .279/.342/.418 in 229 plate appearances in 2009 – although the line was buoyed by a .342 BABIP that wasn’t supported by great contact (just an 18.5% line drive rate). He was also striking out a lot, not walking nearly as much as you would like and he wasn’t successful stealing. It was hard to see where Pennington’s value would come from if (when) that BABIP normalized.

In his first full year in the majors, 2010, Pennington’s BABIP normalized to .296 (even though he hit more line drives: 21.5%) and his slash line suffered. He hit just two more homers than he did in 2009 in nearly 350 more at bats. Still, he stole 29 bases and was caught just five times. The steals were nice, but their value was useless given his inability to get on base/hit for a good average. Still he wasn’t hitting a ton of ground balls (just 35.6%) and the line drive rate should have produced a slightly better BABIP.

The question remained whether Pennington could hit the ball well enough to be fantasy relevant. Well, he has a 24.9% line drive rate this year and an improved and sustainable BABIP at .316. He is hitting a not awful .265/.321/.367. Unfortunately, he is just 13/22 in stolen base attempts and has only eight homers.

However, he’s been damn good since July 15. It’s a small sample (56 games and 232 plate appearances), but he owns a .309/.371/.454 line. Of course he has a .376 BABIP during that time and the competition usually gets weaker as the season goes on.

This year has been a nice step forward for Pennington and he is entering his prime. You cannot bank on him to continue his second half trend going into next season. He hasn’t mastered the strike zone like you would expect and he still hits too many fly balls for his home ballpark. It would not surprise me if he finds his way inside the top 10 at his position next year and does have upside to the 5-7 range. So he’ll be a good gamble late in drafts – but is far too risky to count on in anything other than AL-only leagues. That said, I’m happily riding him down the stretch.

Nolan Reimold – A former standout at Bowling Green State University, Reimold was the 61st overall selection in the 2005 MLB Draft. He played pretty well in the minors in his initial stint (73 games): .285/.385/.551 with 15 homers across A- and A+.

He drew the attention of Baseball America and was rated the #99 prospect in baseball before the 2006 season. However his grasp on the top 100 would slip through his fingers after a somewhat poor season at A+. He struck out a good bit (21.2%), but still walked enough and hit for enough power to remain intriguing.

He played sparingly, but well in 2007 at AA. In just 50 games, he hit .306/.365/.565. The power was there, but he struck out a ton (23.2%) and had an inflated BABIP (.359). Still, he was the #91 prospect going into the 2008 season.

He spent the entire 2008 season in AA and looked good: .284/367/.501 and really cut down his Ks (14%). He earned his promotion to AAA in 2009. He wouldn’t be there long though – after 31 games and a .394/.485/.743 line, he made his way to the big league club. On May 20, against the hated New York Yankees, Reimold hit his first career homer – it happened to be off Mariano Rivera – pretty sweet. Then, seven days later, he hit a walk-off dinger in the 11th against the Blue Jays. Reimold finished the year with 15 HRs and a .279/.365/.466 line in 411 plate appearances.

Clearly, 2010 would be a 20-HR campaign with the RBIs to go with them. Unfortunately, Reimold battled injuries and inconsistency. He played just 39 games for the big league club and struggled to a .207/.282/.328 line. He struck out more, even though he swung and missed less. While his line drive rate dipped to 12% (from 14.4% the year before), his BABIP really dipped – all the way to .236. In addition, his HR/FB rate dropped to 8.3%. Either Reimold suddenly got terrible, or he was the victim of serious bad juju.

While he spent time in the minors in 2011, he has mostly returned to form in the majors. Clearly his .235/.324/.429 leave a lot to be desired but his ISO, HR/FB% and line drive rate are all in line with 2009. His average on balls in play is still a tad low, so there is room for optimism that he can improve the rest of the way and in 2012.

He is probably not viable in 10-team leagues next year. However, he should have enough mojo for every other kind of league – he could legitimately hit 20-30 HRs.

Dexter Fowler has been hotter than a junebug on the back of a furnace’s ass, or some other yokelism.  Dexter?  I hardly Fowler!  Huh?  In his last seven games, a .423 average and 2 homers.  He’s not good for anything more than the occasional dinger, which only sounds talk between a wife and her friends.  He is hitting on top of a lineup that puts up runs and he has speed.  While he’s hot, I’d grab him everywhere.  Don’t get left out in the cold.  Remember you can’t spell Denver without Dexter envy.  Or you can’t spell Dexter Fowler without DTF.  That’s Doubles Triples Forget about homers.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

David Murphy – He was nearly the lead for today’s Buy post.  That’s how much I like him.  You have to really strike a nerve about needing to be owned in every league to get the lead, but you have to come close to striking said nerve to almost be the lead.  Talk about the pinnacle of one’s career.  Put it on the back of your ball card, kid!  You almost made a Razzball lead!

Alex Presley – And he almost-almost made the lead!  Wow!  It’s raining praise like a church that mysteriously appears in the Bermuda Triangle! (<–Confusing comparison of the day!)

Alex Rios – He didn’t almost make any lead.  I kinda don’t even want Rios to do anything because I absolutely know it’s just going to cause people to come out of the woodwork next March asking about him. “Buh-buh-buh-but, Grey, sir, your almighty ‘stacheiness, Rios was good last September.  Big things in 2012, right?!”

Alejandro De Aza – Alejandro is hot like Mexico!  And just think, when he’s no longer worth owning, you can tell your friends you just did the Alejandrop.  Don’t get sad!  Imaginary friends work too!

Kosuke Fukudome – It’s the week of the hot outfielders, huh?  It reminds me of that week in 1993 when Jim Eisenreich was in the middle of a 7-for-12 stretch but Philly fans still wanted to throw batteries at him because he kept cursing at them.

Jon Jay – He has 2 homers and hitting .522 in the last week.  I got Federalisztomania!  What, no Phoenix fans?  You, “I thought French rock was a stale baguette.”  You’re such a snob!

Jason Kipnis – Nothing goes better with a bagel and cream cheese like Eli Whiteside.  But Kipnis is good for a nosh if you need a middle infielder.

Scott Sizemore – ESPN wrote something recently saying Sizemore could be a sleeper in 2012.  Way to take a stand!  Of course he’s going to be a sleeper.  The problem is the A’s need to move their fences in about 1.2 miles.  In all directions.  You could have a front row seat by 1st base and need binoculars.

Trevor Plouffe – His last name sounds like the sound a turd makes when it hits the toilet water.  Hehe.  Sorry, that’s juvenile.  But, seriously, he-effin’-he.  Um, so he’s been hot– Sorry, I have to move on.  His name’s just too ridiculous.

Juan Francisco – I spy with my little right eye a worthwhile add for right now in NL-Only leagues.  Since Rolen is following in Glass Chipper’s footsteps, I imagine Francisco will see the majority of the at-bats for the remainder of the season, which means he could become mixed league sexy.  Otherwise known as a swinger.

Dayan Viciedo – He’s done nothing but swing a hot bat since his call-up, so of course Ozzie benched him the other day.  Oh, Ozzie, you make me a little crazy.  *shaking fist at the sky* A little crazy!

Cliff Pennington – Has good speed and can teach you how to golf.

Dee Gordon – He’s good for steals.  Yadda³.  On a side note, I was thinking about how I can’t imagine Don Mattingly ever getting fired.  Maybe because I grew up in the tri-state area when he was a God, but I can’t picture any scenario where Mattingly is blamed for anything.  “Ooh, it’s Donnie Baseball, it’s his back’s fault the Yankees aren’t winning.”  The Dodgers will have to be folded into the Padres (and the Dodres still wouldn’t have a good offense) to get Mattingly out of his job.

Marco Scutaro – Hitting .476 in September and…Ugh, don’t make me say anything else nice about Scutaro.  He’s hot as of right now, that’s all I got.

Edwin Jackson – Hasn’t had a bad start in over a month…Which makes me think he’s gonna have one tonight because I just jinxed him.  Stupid superstitions.  Anyone see where I put my rabbit’s foot?

Bud Norris – BTW, I just went over borderline fantasy starters for the next week, and, really, this late in the season there’s no reason to look more than one week in advance in most leagues.

Bobby Parnell – Own unless you’re in a British ex-con league with a No-Bobby rule.

Kenley Jansen – Word out of the mean streets of sunny LA is Jansen or Guerra could be the closer next year.  So those in deep keeper leagues who are looking to stick someone on their team for cheap this year that could have huge value next year, grab Jansen.

Jason Motte – Member during the 2010 preseason when I said Motte should be the closer?  So I was a year and a half early.  Well, here’s the thing, I time travel so much I sometimes forget what year I’m in.  BTW, invest in AOL, they’re about to merge with Time-Warner.

SELL

Fernando Salas – I could see holding him in some leagues where you’re very desperate, but in most leagues you’re looking at a guy that might get a save or two or might be closing out the seventh inning.  I.e., I’d prefer the apple sauce instead of the misspelled Mexican sauce.

Brandon Morrow – His next start is against the Sawx, who just mollywhopped him for 8 earned, and the Jays might limit him since he’s above his career high in innings.  You guys had a good run.  Get his address and go hide in his garbage can with a Jiffy Pop container over your head so you can see anytime you want.

John Danks – Who’s more infuriating than this schmohawk?  A three hitter followed by an 8 earned run game.  There’s gotta be better matchup guys on waivers.  Move on, there’s nothing to see here.

Jair Jurrjens – He’s out until the playoffs.  That’s nice.  Later!

Grady Sizemore – I guarantee you, with his stats, if his name was Crappy McCrapstein, you wouldn’t own him.

Adam Lind – I hate to outright drop a guy capable of a four homer week, but it seems like his wrist is sore and his power looks zapped, and not zapped like that awesome early 80′s movie with Scott Baio.  I wonder if him and Willie Ames are still friends.  They were like peas and carrots.  I bet David Aardsma is glad that Willie Aames devoted his prodigious talent to acting instead of baseball so he can stay first in the baseball dictionary.

The Big Donkey, Adam Dunn, was a big ass.  Carlos Quentin’s status is TBD even when we know the ETA which we don’t right now.  This leaves Dayan Viciedo playing.  It’s addition by the subtraction of Ozzie’s choices.  “Can Brent Lillibridge play first and third at the same time?”  Things Ozzie has recently asked his bench coach.  Viciedo was always a top Cuban raftee and, through his first four games, he has a homer, steal and is batting .538.  Maybe we shouldn’t defrost Ted Williams’ head just yet, but you don’t need Mapquest to know he’s going in the right direction.  Not to mention, I’m not even sure Mapquest still exists.  Start a viable service and Google will take you over.  I like your concept, Groupon, I will now do the exact same thing.  With Viciedo’s 3rd base eligibility, he’s worth a flyer anywhere you need a corner infidel.  That’s right, patch Dayan into your team for Golda Meir.  (If you didn’t need to Google that last line, props to you.)  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Jack Hannahan – Perennial Carson favorite hit three homers in two days this week and .420 (stoner!) in August.  Didn’t hurt that he brought his liger to the clubhouse to scare Lonnie Chisenhall.

Kyle Seager – Last week I suggested he was like Omar Infante.  We’ll call him Omar Little.

Omar Infante – Speaking of the devil.  He’s been relatively hot recently.  If your relative is hitting near .300 over the last week.

Luke Hughes – Has four homers in the last week.  Maybe you should pick him up.  That’s my Hughes clues.

Dee Gordon – Guess who’s back?!  Dee Gordon, man (and three girl readers).  C’mon, that was easy.  His name is in front of this blurb.  If you need speed, Dee Gordon’s like Jeff Gordon without the car.  I have no idea if that makes sense.  I don’t know Nascar.  I’m guessing there are cars though since it’s in the name.  It’s not Nasbicycle.

Cliff Pennington – Hitting near .400 over the last week and has three steals in the last five games.  Plus, if you have a category in your league for Players That Sound Like They Should Be Wearing Plaid Pants, Cliff Pennington wins you that category.

Jose Altuve – Through 154 ABs, he has 2 homers, 4 steals and he’s hitting .305.  So, of course, his ESPN ownership went down from 9% to 7.4% this week.  I’m guessing Craig Biggio owns 20,000 fantasy teams and is bitter.

Mike Trout – 4 homers and batting .400 since his recall.  He’s a bit green, Scioscia may not play him, which has me blue, but if you don’t add him, you’re yellow.  And that’s my rainbow Trout.

Brandon Allen – I was thinking to myself, “Grey, there’s no reason to mention Allen this week.  He must already be over 50% owned in ESPN.  Also, could you scratch your back?  I’m itchy.  Thanks!”  Turns out Allen is nowhere near 50% owned.

Austin Jackson – I’m not a fan of a leadoff hitter with a sub-.320 OBP.  Rickey Henderson says, “Rickey Henderson says amen!”  But Jackson is currently hot, hitting near .400 over the last week.

Leonys Martin – I just went over my Leonys Martin fantasy.  I wrote it while sipping a Mint Julep, wearing a big floppy hat.

Alejandro De Aza – This is a pretty tentative buy.  He has been hot, but I think that could end by the time I finish this sent–

David Murphy – He’s the type that is unownable for the better part of a season then becomes relevant.  I wouldn’t put Baby Boo-Boo’s college fund on it, but I think he’s about to go through one of those relevant stretches.

Jordan Schafer – I wouldn’t pick up Schafer outside of a NL-Only league.  I don’t like where he’s playing, not a huge fan of his but he does provide some speed and a bit of Zimmermania.

Brandon McCarthy – Last game, he K’d 10.  He hasn’t had one month over a 4.00 ERA all year.  As for his lousy record… Too many Urkels on his team, that’s why his wins low.

Javier Vazquez – Hey, I was burned by him too.  I get it.  But he’s been good for two months now.  Stop being a pill and pick him up.

Doug Fister – Usually the lack of Ks is a problem — a than but no thans, but over his last 21 2/3 IP he has 18 Ks.  So that’s an old issue of Fister’s Journal, which I do not subscribe to and would not Google.

Bobby Parnell – You know what the kids in Washington Park say about this part of the Buy section?  Coca, puff-puff, SAGNOF!

Sergio Romo – You can’t tell me the whole time he was growing out his beard it wasn’t some kind of All About Eve plot brewing behind the scenes.  Just happens that Wilson gets hurt and Romo jumps in to replace him and all the windyweather fans in San Fran are like, “Hey, our touristy beards we bought at the souvenir stand still work!”  Then again, Santiago Casilla, Jeremy Affeldt or Ramon Ramirez might get saves too.

Steve Cishek – I think he gets the most saves in Florida in September and Nunez has multiple meltdowns.  It’s called a hunch, like how Guy Fieri eats a sandwich.

Jesus Montero – I just went over my Jesus Montero fantasy.  I wrote it while wearing an orange jumper, picking up litter on the side of the highway.

SELL

Freddie Freeman – Had a heck of a season, if you’re the type to use a word like heck.  Almost sorta blasphemy!  Freeman has 18 homers through 5 months.  What’s that?  3.6 homers per month?  It’s worth taking a chance on a hot hitter; you’re not gonna miss out on much with Freeman.  And what on earth does sixth-tenths of a homer look like anyway?

Michael Cuddyer – Another guy who has 18 homers on the year, but this schmohawk is also dealing with a hurt wrist.  Ride or Cuddyer?  I’d ride.

David Freese – He has 8 homers in 266 ABs this year.  So, unless he gets 400 ABs in September, I’m thinking you can move on to a hot schmotato.

Nelson Cruz – This kinda goes for any player that is on the DL.  If you don’t have DL room, lose him and move on.

Alexi Ogando – You guys had a good run.  Get his address and you can send him a postcard.  But get him off your team.

Tommy Hanson – Mmmdrop.

Mitch Moreland – Oh, mamma mia, mamma mia!  Mamma mia, let him go!

The top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball are a shallow bowl of dung and ranked only ahead of the catchers for depth.  All the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2011 fantasy baseball rankings.  (Don’t worry, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to link to things a little more seamlessly).  Shortstops usually get the short end of the stick when I’m drafting.  If I don’t get Hanley, I’ll probably just take a flier on some late round player.  Yes, I don’t even really want to mess with Tulo.  In leagues that play a middle infielder, then you might need two of these schmohawks.  Hopefully, you can grab two decent 2nd basemen and only need one of these guys.  As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where I think tiers start and stop and my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball:

1. Hanley Ramirez – In the top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball post is Hanley’s projections.

2. Troy Tulowitzki – In the top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball post is Tulowitzki’s projections.

3. Jose Reyes – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Andrus.  I call this tier, “These are the last two shortstops you should draft for about eight rounds.”  I would not under any circumstances draft a shortstop between Andrus and Desmond unless they fall about six rounds after where I think they should be drafted.  As for Reyes, for those thinking Reyes had a poor 2010, consider he was the 3rd best shortstop on ESPN’s Player Rater.  Sure, that has its flaws, but who was better?  Jeter?  Alexei?  Elvis?  Reyes hit 11 homers and stole 30 bases last year.  Not to mention it was in only 133 games so if you filled him in halfway decently from your waiver wire, you had additional stats from his spot.  2011 Projections:  110/12/60/.290/40

4. Elvis Andrus – I already went over my Elvis Andrus fantasy for next year.  At 22 years old, he might be still come in under my projections, but he’s capable of a huge fantasy-defining season.  I’m willing to take the chance that it happens.  2011 Projections:  95/5/50/.270/45

5. Jimmy Rollins – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Furcal.  I call this tier, “Holy crap, the shortstops are really shallow.”  Seriously, Rollins is the 5th best shortstop?  Rollins has been getting progressively worse the last three seasons and I don’t think he’s suddenly going to turn things around at the age of 32.  Yeah, you really should punt at this point.  Look at Drew or others later on.  A few things on Rollins.  In 2006, Rollins had 15 infield hits.  That number has gone down every year.  His line drive rates have fallen every year since 2008.  His ground ball rate last year was a new career high.  His speed was at an all-time low last year for his career.  You know what happens when a guy gets older and hits the ball on the ground?  He gets thrown out at first.   2011 Projections:  85/14/65/.260/20

6. Derek Jeter – So I’ve been watching the first season of Friday Night Lights.  Great show.  I’d say SPOILER ALERT! but the show’s like seven years old.  Anyway, when Riggins was stealing Minka from Street, I kept imagining Street yelling, “So, Jeter, it’s okay to steal a cripple’s girlfriend, but you won’t fight a cripple?!”  Maybe it’s just me.  As for Jeter — eh, you know what you’re getting by this point.  Light power, some steals, good runs.  Plus, you can tell your lady friend that you drafted Jeter and watch how much tail you get.  Unless you live in Boston.  Then put on the Nomar jersey.  “I’m dating Charlene, Ma.  You gotta get used to it.”  I love Mark Wahlberg.  2011 Projections:  105/12/65/.280/15

7. Alexei Ramirez – Here’s one of those borderline guys.  If he hits 17-20 homers and steals 15 bases, you’re okay.  Shave just a few off either and you have a 15/12 guy, i.e., a guy that steals 2 bases and hits less than 3 homers per month.  That grows boring really fast during the course of the season.  I don’t mind trading for Alexei on May 1st, but his first month makes his overall stats look just a’ight.  BTW, we should have a glossary term for Latin players who don’t play well in the cold weather months.  2011 Projections:  80/17/70/.280/14

8. Rafael Furcal – Last year in only 97 games, he went 8/22, but I wouldn’t prorate that over a full season.  Seems to actually play better when he plays an abbreviated season.  Maybe because he’s 33 years old.  If you’re in a shallow enough league where you can readily replace him when he’s hurt, I’d consider drafting him.  In most leagues, I wouldn’t bother.  2011 Projections:  75/8/45/.280/17

9. Stephen Drew – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Escobar.  I call this tier, “Okay, grab one quick because they get ugly again real fast.”  (Note:  All projections in this tier are optimistic, but whatevs.)  Feels like we’ve been waiting forever for Drew’s big breakout.  At 28 years old in 2011, this is the year.  Or so my gut is telling me.  He had a solid 2nd half — 11 homers, .281 in 267 ABs and that’s about as much positivity I can muster.  He has so many major league ABs, he shouldn’t just explode for an incredible year, but I can’t help think he’s due.  Hey, I said it was a gut call more than anything.  His 2011 won’t be MVP-worthy, but it could be valuable and at shortstop you gotta take some upside fliers.  2011 Projections:  90/24/70/.275/7

10. Ian Desmond – Could be a cheap version of Alexei Ramirez.  I know, that sounds about as enticing as walking in on your grandparents having sex.  But if Desmond exceeds expectations and Alexei falls just short and if and but’s were dollar bills I’d be a millionaire.  Okay, Desmond’s an upside flier, just go with it.  2011 Projections:  80/15/70/.280/20

11. Alcides Escobar – I already hit you up with an Alcides Escobar fantasy sleeper thing-a-woozie.  2011 Projections:  70/3/40/.275/30

12.  Starlin Castro – This is a new tier.  This tier goes until Tejada.  I call this tier, “And they just got ugly again.”  I almost put Castro in the above tier, because he does have yute on his side.  In the end, I’m too worried Castro may get drafted as if he has this huge upside.  I’d lower my expectations with him.  He gets caught stealing way too much and he doesn’t have great power.  2011 Projections:  75/5/55/.305/12

13. Ryan Theriot – Wanna know the problem with the state of shortstops?  How about this:  Theriot was ranked 18th for 2nd basemen.  That about covers it.  Went over Theriot’s projections in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball post.

14. Cliff Pennington – What a butt ugly group we have here.  Pennington is basically Theriot with a few more steals and homers and a potentially terrible average.  Also, he looks good in plaid pants, if that’s a category in your league.  2011 Projections:  60/5/40/.245/30

14 1/2. Mike Aviles – Went over Aviles’ projections in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball post.  (Note:  Only has 13 games at shortstop so he got a half.)

15. Juan Uribe – Went over Juan Uribe’s projections in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball.

16. Jhonny Peralta – Member the days when Jhonny and Khalil Greene would go around putting silent H’s in people’s names?  Charlos Lee got so mad!  Ah, yes, and I have nothing to say about Jhonny Peralta.  2011 Projections:  65/17/80/.255

17. Jason Bartlett – Went over my Bartlett fantasy when the Padres got him.  Go there to read the Bartlett blurb.  Or Blurblett, if you’re into portmanteaus.  2011 Projections:  80/5/55/.270/17

18. Yunel Escobar – Um… Well… Uh… Wait, why is he being ranked?  Oh, because he basically has the same projections as Mike Aviles.  Yeah, shortstops are bad this year.  Have I mentioned that before?  2011 Projections:  75/10/60/.290/7

19. Omar Infante – Infante’s 2010 reminds me of Zobrist’s 2009 on a much smaller scale.  Utility man makes good, news at 11.  I’m gonna move on before I bore us both any further.  2011 Projections:  65/5/40/.280/8 ( Note: Only has 19 games at shortstop.)

20. Miguel Tejada -  Somewhere Sabean is twirling his mustache thinking about how much he’d love to sign Bartlett in three years.  My Tejada projections are assuming he won’t start shooting up again.  2011 Projections:  65/13/75/.275/3

After the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball, there’s a bunch of names, but here’s two that stand out:

Reid Brignac – I just couldn’t end the top 20 shortstops with Miguel Tejada.  The Rays have to play Brignac, right?  I mean, they can’t let him just keep getting older and not give him a fair shake, can they?  Yeah, I don’t know.  If they give Brignac an everyday job, his fantasy value will drop him around 10th on this list.  Since it’s the shortstops, I’d throw a flier Brignac’s way with or without a job and hope you get lucky and he starts.  2011 Projections:  60/15/75/75/.260/7

Asdrubal Cabrera – Consider Asdrubal above Starlin Castro on this list, but I wanted to highlight him.  Gotta throw out 2010 with Asdrubal.  He got injured, can’t hold his bad year against him. Plus, a bad year is so amorphous, how are you gonna hold that against anyone?  At 25 years old, Asdrubal is still in his prime and can put together a decent season for a MIF — Middle Infielder Flier.  2011 Projections:  80/7/60/.295/20