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Give that dog a bone!  Wait, what?  Yesterday, Nick Blackburn went 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Usually after a team clinches their division, they wake up like it’s Ash Wednesday and they were on Bourbon Street for Fat Tuesday.  Not dem Twinkies, I tell ya! (Well, who else is telling you?  Am I right?  Or am I right right?)  Even with their B lineup, they made the Indians look C.  (Hehe, I said looksie!  Twice now.)  Blackburn was in last week’s borderline starter post twice (a new one comes this afternoon) and he hasn’t had a bad start since July.  You know what you should do with Blackburn?  Powder him in sugar and dunk him in my coffee? Are you drunk, random italicized voice?  *lowers eyes*  No. You should grab him for his next start vs. the Royals, but my enthusiasm for Blackburn doesn’t run deep if you can fathom that.  (pun point!)  Blackburn has around a 3.5 K/9.  To use the parlance of Johnnie Cochran, that’s egregious.  That’s an inning for Carlos Marmol.  Blackburn gets more bat contact than a wannabe-WAG.  When Twins fans go to a Nick Blackburn start, they bring so few K signs that they look racist.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Hanley Ramirez – Sat out yesterday as Hanley wasn’t feeling very manly.  You know what makes me feel manly?  Rubbing banana pudding on my chest and running through the zoo.  The Marlins are hinting Hanley’s gonna be shutdown for the year.  I’ve been hinting that for the last three days.

Carlos Carrasco – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Hasn’t had one bad start since his recall and gets the Tigers next.

Juan Pierre – 2-for-3 and his 60th steal.  I am the King of SAGNOF!  Now get me my mead!  And maybe a crumpet.

Chris Carter – 1-for-3 with his first major league homer.  Oh, it’s on!  Or at least it will be in the offseason when I pimp this guy out with my fantasy bedazzler.

Brett Anderson – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 1 K.  The injuries helped bring his value back to earth for next year’s draft.  It’ll be a nice buy opportunity or my name isn’t Grey “Left Eye” Albright.

Brad Ziegler – Blew the save but that was because Breslow has been used the last few days and Wuertz’ thumb huertz.

Sean Burnett – Got the save as Storen was either out with ‘he threw on Tuesday’ or ‘he wasn’t good on Tuesday or Sunday.’  One’s good, two’s not, three’s company.

Danny Espinosa – 2-for-4 with his 5th homer.  In his short career, he’s had more ups and downs than Mattingly and Morganna in the summer of ’85.  As pointed out whenever that was I pointed it out, Espinosa K’d a lot in the minors and that makes for a hitter that’s streaky like Bret Boone’s hair.

Michael Morse – 1-for-3 with his 2 homer in 4 days.  It’s like the Nats grow Josh Willinghams in the outfield.

Adam Dunn – Left the game after being hit on the elbow by a pitch.  He said it was the “most pain I’ve ever had in baseball.  Even more than that time I slide into home with four cheesesteaks in my back pocket.  Actually that was awesome.”  Dunn said he should be good by tomorrow.

Roy Oswalt – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 1 Walk, 8 Ks, No Win.  Bleeping motherbleeper!

Max Scherzer – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks.  I’m not sure yet where he’s going to be drafted next year, but I’m taking a ticket and getting in line.

Ryan Raburn – 2-for-3, hitting over .300 in the last week with 2 homers.  2 more starts at 2nd base and he gets eligibility there for next year.  Somebody kidnap Will Rhymes for two days.  Please and thank you.

Pedro Alvarez – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs.  So far in his career, he’s only hit one homer that wasn’t followed by several more.  It’s a shot in the dark, but Alvarez might be a big play for the next week.

Carlos Beltran – 3-for-5 and his 5th homer.  I doubt I touch him even next year.  Metco, aging guy who was adding value with speed that is now declining and injury-prone.  Belchtran.

Jose Lopez – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and 3 homers.  Nice of you to show up one game this year.

Randy Wells – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks vs. the Giants.  I was thinking this might be a decent start, but Wells has been all over the map this year, so it’s tough to recommend him. With that said, i.e., here comes the opposite, he goes to Petco in his next start, then gets the Astros.

Joey Votto – Out of the lineup again with a sinus infection.  Who is he, Felix Unger?

Johnny Cueto – 1 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  That one’s for LaRue.

Prince Fielder – Brewers scored 13 runs and Fielder went 0-for-2 with one run and RBI.  Ticker tease!  Though it’s been like a ticker season.

Dan Johnson – 1-for-4 with his 4th homer in the last week.  Can he stay hot for another week plus?  Can a pig fly?  Yes, with a catapult.  Guess what I’m saying is it’s possible and worth a shot.

Evan Longoria – 2-for-4 with his 22nd homer to go along with 15 steals.  Wait, I know that impression!  It’s David Wright.  Pretty sad when the big power guys in the league have 22 homers and 15 steals.  Did they start testing for HGH and no one told me?

Carlos Pena – Sounds like he might get some extended rest heading into the ‘offs.  Back date this to the last time he was hot, which was like 3 months ago.

Stephen Drew – 1-for-3 with the always tasty slam & legs.  That’s back-to-back games with steals and he’s hitting over .300 in the last week.  Okay, it’s not much, but for Drew it’s practically MVP numbers.

Kelly Johnson – Now has two homers in two games and 4 homers this week.  In like a lion, out like a lion.

Tim Stauffer – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He gets the Cubs at home and the Giants in San Fran.  Since the Padres are battling for the playoffs, I’d grab Stauffer for next week.

Yadier Molina – Headed home to have his knee examined.  Tough blow for people in leagues that only use Molinas.

Pablo Sandoval – 0-for-2, .263 average on the year with 12 homers.  Kung F.U. Panda is more like it.

  1. DrEasy says:
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    @Grey: Thanks for the help! It’s not just the possibility of a 9 inning shutout, relievers might also push me over. But it is indeed a weird situation.

    And love the Blackburn jokes!

  2. Rico says:
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    I’ve been ridiculing a friend of mine who overpaid for Sandoval by referring to him as Shitpanda. It’s not creative and it makes no sense, but I submit it for use anyway. Getting a word into your glossary is my life’s ambition.

  3. stynyr says:
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    Just dropped Infante for Raburn. Aviles and Walker are available. Which of these four would you prefer?

  4. John says:
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    Do you see the Reds or Twins giving rest to their players often down the stretch? im in the championship week and im thinking of dropping span or stubbs for Luke Scott since it looks like hes getting hot again.

  5. Campbell says:
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    Hey Grey, nice to see you’re still covering everything, quick question:

    If Bailey has to miss next year with Tommy John, who do you see getting saves in the A’s pen next year? HRod, Breslow, Wuertz? Someone outside the organization?

  6. Wilsonian says:
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    F’in A, Cotton, great friggin’ post. The Blackburn racist line and the Cueto beatdown line killed me. Looks like someone is making like Kelly Johnson and going out like a lion. Anythewhoo…

    Sit or Start for an 8 Team H2H:
    Arroyo @ SD
    Chacin v. SF
    Old McDonald v. HOU

  7. Timequake says:
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    I’m in my H2H finals (thanks, Grey!)…who do you like better on Saturday, Wood at Petco, or Blanton at Metco?

  8. papasmurf says:
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    I traded away Beltran and Peavy in a keeper league year last. Traded away Wright too in order to go for the title. Didn’t get back much with lasting value. Brian Roberts and Kendry Morales and two other guys that I can’t remember right now. But at least other than Wright I didn’t give away much.

    Looks like Wright will be all-wright but you are right, Beltran’s career is on the downside. Overall I think his career is a bit disappointing given his tools. It feels like he could have done better. The balky quads got him.

  9. struggler says:
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    Can you rank on the highest probability for a QS:
    volstad @ mil
    maholm vs hou
    chen vs cle
    porcello vs min
    capuano vs FLA
    Saunders vs la

    Thanks!

  10. struggler says:
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    Might as well throw Maholm vs hou into that craptastic pile of terribleness.

  11. struggler says:
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    Oh whoops – He’s already there. I’m high on Benadryl.

  12. Masher Potatoes says:
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    Sigh….. now it looks like Ryan Braun is possibly out the rest of the way (dashed straight to the clubhouse after getting hit on the same elbow that caused his down fantasy year in the first place). If he is indeed out, who do you like as a roster replacement – Betemit, Gaby Sanchez, Dan Johnson, J. Guillen, Mora, Beltran or Alvarez? Thanks!

  13. Timequake says:
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    Btw, for those of you in Yahoo leagues…anyone know if the two-week championship counts as a single week for move limit purposes? My league has a limit of 2 moves per week, and I assume I have to stretch those until the end of the season.

  14. Chuckles Tiddlesworth says:
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    OK, I have only come here seeking knowledge, Grey, things they would not teach me of in college. And sure enough, you schooled me yesterday in “keepers,” saying some 14-team leagues have 10 keepers, some 10-team leagues have three keepers. If you would have told me some 12-team leagues have six keepers, surely my head would have exploded from so much of that Grey matter.

    Though Mephistopheles is not your name, I know what you’re up to just the same – not answering the question! Or were you? A Socratic teacher, I finally realized! So, in the 10-team NL league with three keepers per team, Stanton and Pedro Alvarez definitely AREN’T keepers because they obviously fall way outside of the top 30 players, while they’re in the top 140 in the 14-team 10-keeper league and I SHOULD keep them.

    I usually listen hard to your tuition, hoping to see it come to its fruition in a high finish. But this stuff above keepers … meh.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @DrEasy: Thanks!

    @Rico: Eh, that’s not going to do it. But I appreciate your enthusiasm.

    @stynyr: Raburn

    @John: Yeah… Lose Span for Scott.

    @Campbell: Outside probably.

    @Wilsonian: Thanks! I’d start all three.

    @Timequake: No problem. Blanton…

    @papasmurf: Yeah, his swing looked sweet in the playoffs that one year then he had a few solid years, then he got old.

    @struggler: Ha…. Maholm.

    @Masher Potatoes: Alvarez…

    @Timequake: 2 moves for both weeks.

    @Chuckles Tiddlesworth: Yeah, I think you got it.

  16. Vic Vinegar says:
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    At 2B with regular playing time, Raburn could be an Aaron Hill lite next year, right? I’ve been playing him over Hill for weeks now, and may be targeting him next year if he flies under the radar.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Vic Vinegar: Yeah, he needs regular PT though and the eligibility.

  18. brad says:
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    Grey you starting Kennedy vs. Colorado tonight?

  19. zombie says:
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    Tomorrow’s decent options seem to include Piniero vs CWS, Young vs Cin, and Ol’McDonald vs. Hou. Do they seem ranked correctly & would you stay away from any of the three?
    & the Felix Unger reference is just too damn funny Grey. Bruce might be the Red’s Oscar. Seems that whenever I start’em I get worthless sloppy production. Droppin’ him for Guillen in Colorado.

  20. fyodor says:
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    Hey Grey.

    I’m wondering how you would rank these momentarily hot hitters for playing time and OPS over the final two weeks: Lind, Luke Scott, Guillen, Boesch?

    Thanks for your help today, and in the past.

  21. TJ says:
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    Never too early for 2011 keeper questions, right?

    Would you move one year of Hanley Ramirez for either three years of Evan Longoria, or five years of Ryan Braun?

    The keepers would end up looking like this:
    Cargo, Votto, Hanley, Delmon Young, Gordon Beckham

    If I make the Longoria deal:
    Cargo, Votto, Longoria, Delmon, Beckham

    If I make the Braun deal:
    Cargo, Votto, Geovany Soto, Braun, pick one Delmon/Beckham

    The Longoria deal would be the most easy to pull off. Braun might be a little tougher.

  22. Anonymous says:
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    Dear Yahoo,

    I am not happy that you activated MMD from your DL earlier than the Rockies actually have. I can drop Walker and have to slot in a still injured MMD so that I can drop Niese to get Chacin’s start tomorrow (in a dynasty. no idea why Chacin isn’t owned…)

    Sincerely,
    Anonymous

    TL;DR Yahoo is stupid.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @brad: In some leagues, yeah.

    @zombie: McDonald, Young… re: Bruce – Ha!

    @fyodor: Scott, Guillen… No problem.

    @TJ: I’d take 5 years of Braun. Or 3 of Longoria, in that order.

    @Anonymous: Ha… Lose Niese for Chacin.

  24. GTS says:
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    Start MadBum?

  25. big o says:
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    @Grey:

    you spelled ‘strumpet’ incorrectly .

  26. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @GTS: In most leagues, yeah.

  27. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @big o: But spelled crumpet correctly.

  28. Anonymous says:
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    @Grey: Old Man Mora, Cuddyer or Valencia for a short-term sub for MMD?

  29. royce! says:
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    I’m in first in a 10 team roto and lead RBI by 42 and HR by 37. However, I am at 3.5 for SB. Should I drop all of my players who offer me power only and replace them with players who are more likely to steal bases?

  30. TJ says:
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    @Grey: Thanks for the info.

    I’m gonna see if I can get Braun without giving up Hanley. The owner has a pretty poor selection of other keepers, so I’m gonna see if some combination of Cliff Lee, Josh Johnson, Gordon Beckham and Jered Weaver might work.

  31. big o says:
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    @Grey:

    riggleman said much of espinosa’s k concerns ,
    are due to l/r splits ,
    and will be addressed in the off-season .

    can january grey be bribed into allowing espinosa
    to stay off the radar screen ?

  32. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:
    Earlier this year I asked you a few questions regarding on how to set up a keeper league and what’s a good round inflation etc etc.

    One conclusion we came to was that if a manager wanted to keep a 1st round draft pick two years in a row, the second year he’d have to give up his 2nd round pick too. I’d still have to compensate for him in the later rounds of the draft somehow. What round is ideal to give him two picks? Last round? In addition, do I then have to award two picks to a manager in the 2nd round? Or will it be only 11 picks?

    Sorry for such an annoying detailed question, but I rather get all this right then start changing my word come March.

  33. big o says:
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    @Grey:

    re : crumpet / strumpet
    summon what you will .

  34. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Anonymous: Valencia…

    @royce!: Yup

    @TJ: Cool

    @big o: Potentially.

    @Eddy: Last round. No one gets two picks in the 2nd round unless they trade for those picks.

    @big o: Ha

  35. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:
    Hmmm ok then I see. So just to confirm, in a 12 team league, since that 2nd round is devoid of one pick, it remains 11 picks and not 12 correct?

  36. Commish Cauda says:
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    A couple of days ago you recommended Pavano @DET (Bonderman) over Cecil vsBAL (Guthrie) and Lilly (@ARI).

    Lilly already pitched (and badly…good call), but is Pavano still the choice over Cecil in light of MIN’s recent clinching of their division?

  37. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: of Arroyo, Chacin, and Ol’ Mickey D, who would you start if you could start one?

    Also, do you play Dan Johnson, not to be confused with Nash Bridges, over Prince, for the time being? I’m not dropping Prince, but he’s been worthless lately and looking at scrounging up a sub who understands that the purpose of the game is to actually hit that little white ball…

  38. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Eddy: Say the 1st team takes the first two picks and doesn’t have another one until pick 48. Then the last team to pick in the 1st round is picking late in the first round but early in the 2nd and third (compared to the person who was skipped). It is 11 picks in rounds where someone is skipped.

    @Commish Cauda: I’d go with Pavano.

    @Wilsonian: Chacin… I hate benching a guy like Prince, but I guess if you’re really struggling for offense.

  39. ruah says:
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    Which of these starters do you like more for Friday: Blanton(v NYM), Dickey(@PHI), Arroyo(@SD), Cecil(vBAL), Guthrie(@TOR)

  40. big o says:
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    after two , hill looking special vs felix .

  41. stynyr says:
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    EDDY OR GREY,

    What league allows you to skip picks in the draft (if you’re using something like Yahoo! or ESPN)?

  42. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: thanks. Yeah, I hate it too, but it’s almost becoming necessary. I’m hitting .200 with one homer and 8 ribbies on the week. So I need the help.

  43. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @ruah: Arroyo

    @big o: Not exactly sure what that means but since I own F-Her I’m worried.

    @stynyr: All my keepers are in CBS, so not sure.

  44. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:

    I *think* I get it. I’m going to have to reread that statement like 15 times though. Thanks Grey.
    @stynyr:
    I’m planning to do my first year of keepers in Yahoo. I’ve emailed Yahoo several times (great response team btw) and they pretty much said the commish has the power (only before the draft) to customize keepers and assign certain players to certain rounds to their respective managers. I’m just wondering if Yahoo allows it so that I can assign 11 picks in a round when there are 12 managers.

  45. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: damn, just realized I now have Chacin facing Lincecum, and I hate having pitchers going head to head. Does that change anything in your recommendation?

  46. stynyr says:
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    @Eddy: Yea, that last part is what I’m not sure of. Our league (in Yahoo!) tried to set it up so that if you traded a 1st rounder you received an extra pick and if you traded for a 1st rounder you lost a pick, etc. I’m not sure if that’s possible or not.

  47. GopherDay says:
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    @Eddy: I am in a league very similar to the one you are describing. This is our first year as a keeper, so I’m not sure how all the kinks will be worked out. I’m pretty sure you just assign the player he kept to that round.

    But if I’m reading that correctly, if someone wants to keep their first rounder, they forfeit their first round AND second round pick?

  48. big o says:
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    @Grey:

    do you have the game on ?
    hill has k’d 6 , now through 3 innings .

  49. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Eddy: Okay, let me know if you need clarification.

    @Wilsonian: Go with Arroyo.

  50. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @big o: Oh… No, don’t have it on because the Direct TV guy is here fixing the cables so I’m without TV for an hour or two.

  51. Eddy says:
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    @stynyr:

    My guess is that if you traded away a 1st round pick to a manager, you’ll take his 3rd round pick. So that way, if the exchange is between you and me, I have TWO third round picks and you have TWO first round picks. That way we still have the same amount of draft picks at the end of the draft and all the rounds are still even. Though I’m still very vague on how much a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc round pick is worth when compared to other picks. I don’t even think I’ll introduce trading picks in my league because it’s going to get seriously complicated.
    @GopherDay:

    Correct. That came from Grey himself, and it makes sense because if there’s no inflation once a player hits first round, then you’d always draft him there without penalty and it wouldn’t give a chance to any other manager if they want to draft him. Giving up your 2nd round pick as well as 1st round is a way to level out the playing field. Plus, it keeps you on your toes and makes you want to draft keepers for the following year already.

  52. big o says:
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    @Grey:

    well , tell that guy to hurry up .

    40 million japanese viewers just saw ichiro get his
    200 hit (again …10th consecutive year) in the top of the 5th ,
    and it’s 3 am over there .

    we , felix owners , are down 1-0
    on bautista’s 50th , in the 1st .

  53. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @big o: Crazy re: Bautista. Good for Ichiro, should continue to make him overrated for the foreseeable future.

  54. big o says:
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    hill taken out .
    5 innings … 85 pitches , 7 k ‘s , 4 hits (2 for ichiro)

    felix getting stronger .
    struck out lind and arenciba in the 5th (now has 4) ,
    still just the one hit … 67 pitches .

  55. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @big o: Not bad for either.

    *******THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS.******

  56. Asdrubal Bastardo says:
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    “When Twins fans go to a Nick Blackburn start, they bring so few K signs that they look racist.”

    HA!

  57. Snozberries says:
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    Upon receiving my “great team overall, horrible in the playoffs trophy” I would like to thank Josh Hamilton’s ribs, Hanely’s vagina, Joey Votto’s sinuses…oh and I almost forgot Brandon Phillips broken wrist. Wouldn’t it make sense to put Hammy’s ribs (Mmm.. pork ribs, drools) on the DL? Oh well, its been a fun season and I cant thank you enough Grey. This is the second season that I have been following your blogs, and you have not only helped my overall production but you have made fantasy baseball more enjoyable. Enjoy your Daiquiri, you deserve it.

    Btw, whoever found the writer for the fantasy basketball blog should be thanked too. Adam is awesome, and Ive never looked forward to basketball as much as I have this season… the addiction continues.

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