With Nelson Cruz hitting the DL (I’ll get to that schmohawk), the Rangers called up Leonys Martin. Martin could be a poor man’s Desmond Jennings, in other words he’ll be a 2nd ballot Hall of Famer, not 1st. Martin has breezed through the minor leagues, starting in the Rookie league, jumping to Double-A and finally hitting Triple-A. It’s called the “Julio Borbon-Endy Chavez-David Murphy Ain’t Doing Shizz From Shinola So We Need A Centerfielder” plan. Martin has plus-plus speed. Red Bull says Leonys gives them wings. He could develop some power down the road, but I wouldn’t expect more than a homer or two with this call-up. If you need speed in AL-Only or deeper keeper (hey, poet!) mixed leagues, I’d look at him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Nelson Cruz – Will be out for 3 weeks with his moans over his hammy. Any Nostradumbass could’ve told you he’d be hurt at some point this year, but, seriously, this guy gets injured at least once every two months. Let him play the field in a bubble. He’s now getting a platelet-rich plasma injection to stimulant the healing process. I think this was the same treatment they gave Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
Adrian Beltre – The injury butterfly effect in Texas is supposed to get Beltre back on the field for Thursday.
Andre Ethier – 3-for-4 as he was back in the lineup on Monday. He wasn’t going to play, but Colletti showed up at his house and saw a mannequin in Ethier’s bed with a stereo simulating snoring sounds.
Clayton Kershaw – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks. The Yaghan people, the indigenous inhabitants of Tierra del Fuego, have a word ‘mamihlapinatapai’ that means a desire shared by two people that neither will act on. If you ever notice when Kershaw pitches, he’ll look into the camera ever-so-slightly. He’s looking at me. We got mamihlapinatapai.
Shin-Soo Choo – Gonna miss up to two weeks with his aggravated left side. And I’m aggravated with him, so we’re even.
Justin Morneau – Out with a sore shoulder. After thinking about Morneau’s season, listening to Bon Iver cheers me up.
Randy Wells – 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks. Member when I loved Wells about a year or two ago? Yeah, this start was what I wanted. Way to make a guy wait.
Jason Motte – Reporting it here first after inferring from other sources, Motte will see some saves. La Russa said, “You give guys what they earn, and they make the decisions for you. Now please donate money to PETA. I have bunnies to save.”
Jamie Moyer – Rehabbing in Clearwater, Florida hoping to be ready for the start of next season. I’m assuming he’s talking about the 2012 World Bingo Tour.
Cole Hamels – 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks. A triumphant return from a 15-day DL stint sans spirit fingers. I figured Hamels would be fine since he was supposedly healthy last week, but the Phils aren’t pushing the issue with anyone.
Homer Bailey – 8 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks vs. the Phils. Took steel nads (or stunods) to start him here, but it turned out okay. I still don’t trust him. Will work on my trust issues during the offseason just in time for him to screw me next year. See, I haven’t worked on them yet.
R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. Dickey’s been H.A.M. for the last 8 starts. Not many Ks, not crazy on the Wins, but solid ratios.
Alex White – 6 IP, 5 ER, 13 baserunners, 3 Ks. Eh, if you’re rolling a Rockie rookie pitcher out there, you probably deserve this start. Sorry, it’s Tough Love Grey!
Gaby Sanchez – 1-for-4 while hitting his/her first homer yesterday since July 23rd. She/he could be getting hot, but we’ll need to see more before adding him/her because Jose Lopez has been stealing a lot of his/her playing time.
Mark Trumbo – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 24th homer. Is it me or every time someone does something good on the Anaheim Really Isn’t That Close To Los Angeles Los Angeles Angels I expect the Sciociapath to bench him?
Max Scherzer – 3 IP, 7 ER. To think Michael Chabon wasted a whole book about this guy.
Cameron Maybin – Returning to San Diego for an MRI. I know they have MRIs in Los Angeles, so it worries me that he’s going to San Diego for an MRI, unless he’s just a victim of a bad HMO.
Nick Hundley – 2-for-4, hitting .413 in August with 2 homers and 5 RBIs. So, in other words, he’s getting hits but not a whole lot else. It’s a’ight.
Brandon McCarthy – 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks. Has 93 Ks to 22 walks and a 1.21 WHIP in 133 2/3 innings. Only drawback really is the A’s have about as much chance of wins as anyone going to see Moneyball besides baseball geeks. You, “Hey, baby, I was thinking after Red Lobster we go see Moneyball?” Your loved one, “Is that the one about Scott Hatteberg’s on base percentage? I’d love to, sweetie!” Yeah, that’s gonna happen.
Alex Gordon – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 19th homer. At first I couldn’t understand why he’s been batting leadoff for the better part of the season, but I think I’ve figured it out. The Royals are so afraid if they mess with Gordon in any way that he’ll revert to being a bust. Kid Cudi with kid gloves, I kid you not.
Billy Butler – 1-for-4, but whatever. This headline just writes the joke for you.
Salvador Perez – 3-for-4 with his first homer. Royals have committed to playing Perez for 140 games next year as their starter. He’s 21, so I’ll say until he struggles they’ve committed to him. As of right now, he’s not struggling at all. Hitting near .400 over the last week and has some pop in his bat. Worth a look in very deep leagues (read AL-Only or Sal-Only leagues).
Johnny Damon – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and 2 homers. Wow, next thing you know he’s gonna make a throw to 2nd with only one relay man.
Brett Lawrie – 1-for-4 with 2 steals. I’m fully prepared to go all in for him next year while preparing myself for a bust. Don’t bust, don’t bust, bust! That’s next March, April and May Grey. BTW, I’m thinking about changing my name to $rey only I think it works better for S’s.
Adam Lind – 1-for-5 with his 23rd homer. Who was it saying they were done with Lind because of his slump? Oh, everyone.
Dayan Viciedo – 2-for-3 with a steal. I love…Wait, not strong enough. I lurve when guys try and prove their worth by stealing bags. Prove yourself, Viciedo, prove.
Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks. Hold on, I need my 13-year-old niece to text me some exclamation marks. 13 Ks!!!!! Wow!!!
Carlos Lee – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer. Guess he’s not hurt…In the literal sense. 13 homers isn’t exactly setting the world on fire like a good I Can Has Cheezburger meme.
Nick Swisher – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in as many games. Has 77 RBIs and a .383 OBP on the year with 21 homers. Really not an awful season. Yes, when I say not awful instead of good, it’s not great. Follow?
Alex Rodriguez – He called his thumb’s bluff with an MRI, but he still lost three to five days on the flop.
Derek Jeter – Missed yesterday and could miss the upcoming Sawx series. In other news, Jeter and Minka Kelly broke up. I guess Minka’s fine if you have less than 3,000 hits. Same reason I started masturbating to hotter women after Razzball reached 3,000 page views.