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Before The Babe, There Was The Rube

May 22, 2012 By: Paulie Allnuts Category: Y to Z 34 Comments →

There were scores of eccentrics, flakes, and colorful, picturesque characters in the history of the national pastime. However, none of them hold a candle to George “Rube” Waddell. His outlandish behavior is documented in countless stories, some of them no doubt susceptible to apocryphal exaggerations, but with the Rube, it was often difficult to discern fact from fiction.

“He began that year (1903) sleeping in a firehouse in Camden New Jersey, and ended it tending bar in a saloon in Wheeling West Virginia. In between those events he won 22 games for the Philadelphia Athletics, played left end for the Business Men’s Rugby Football Club of Grand Rapids, toured the nation in a melodrama called The Stain of Guilt, courted, married and became separated from May Wynne Skinner of Lynn, Massachusetts, saved a woman from drowning, accidentally shot a friend through the hand, and was bitten by a lion.”

Lee Allen – Cooperstown Historian

Long before the Babe, the Rube was the biggest drawing card in Major League Baseball. The crowds delighted in his pitching performances, the exuberance of his love for the game, and, of course, his spontaneous comedic exploits – which, unlike those of Dizzy Dean or Lefty Gomez, were not staged. Crowds never knew what the Rube was going to do next; and truth be told, neither did he.

The antics usually began before the game, when he would pour ice over his arm and explain that if he didn’t, his speed would burn a hole in the mitt of his catcher.  Of course, his catcher, Ossee Schreckengost, was equally as flaky and would often catch Rube’s heater, rated to be the equal of any in the game, bare-handed.  During games, the Rube delighted crowds by doing cartwheels off the field or calling in the outfielders, proclaiming that he was going to strike out the side… and most of the times he would.  The peculiar behavior on the field didn’t end with the final out, either.  The Rube was known to begin changing out of his uniform as he ran across the diamond towards the clubhouse after games, which often caused a bit of commotion – the Rube never wore underwear.

And those were the days he actually made it to the field.  Other times he disappeared from the ballpark altogether, even on days he was scheduled to pitch.  On these occasions he was often found playing marbles with the kids outside the park, patronizing the village saloon, or simply at his favorite fishing hole. One time, he disappeared for several days in the midst of a tight pennant race and returned to the team as if nothing had occurred, offering manager Connie Mack several catfish he had caught.

Lesser managers might not have withstood Waddel’s behavior, but Connie Mack was also something of a father figure to Rube, and probably the only man patient enough to bear such eccentric behavior. Of Waddell, Mack once said: “The Rube has a two million dollar body and a two cent head.” As such, Mack allotted the Rube’s $2,500 salary one dollar at a time because Waddell had no idea how to handle his money, and on one occasion, had Waddell escorted by Pinkerton Guards to ensure that he made it to the game. Mack even kept a close watch on him after the season, attempting to curtail the Rube’s favorite off-season hobby of wrestling alligators.

Not surprisingly, opponents often attempted to take advantage of his proclivity for distraction. Players in the opposing dugout would wave shiny objects during games in attempts to draw his attention off the task at hand. Once, in the midst of a tight pennant race in 1904, the Red Sox conspired to take advantage of the Rube’s love for wrestling by instructing their biggest player, Candy LaChance, to challenge Rube to a wrestling match prior to a crucial game. LaChance slapped Rube in the belly, then the shoulders, and the match began. The pair wrestled for quite awhile, until the Rube picked up LaChance, hoisted him over his head, and slammed him to the ground. Candy begged off playing the game; Rube went out and pitched a two-hitter.

Such feats were common. On the front-end of a double-header, Waddell pitched brilliantly and won the game in the 17th inning with a triple. Mack, realizing that he was short on pitchers, offered Rube a three-day fishing vacation if he agreed to pitch the second game of the double-header. Rube was thrilled; he pitched a shut-out and promptly escaped to his favorite fishing hole.

In 1905, Waddell engaged the great Cy Young in one of the greatest pitching duels of all time, Rube gave up two runs in the first inning, Cy returned the two in the 6th, and then both threw blanks, until an Athletic crossed the plate in the 20th inning. Rube won the game 3-2, pitching 20 consecutive scoreless innings. Waddell later parlayed the ball for free booze at the local tavern. It was said that more than 50 bars across the country claimed to have the ball that beat “The Cyclone.”

It wasn’t all fun and games for the Rube, though.  Turned out, one of the Rube’s favorite hobbies was putting out fires.  He was known for immediately dropping whatever activity he was engaged in, even games that were in progress, and chasing after fire-trucks when they passed.  This thirst for excitement put Rube squarely in the center of several compromising situations, but not only did he manage to escape those encounters unscathed, he was actually credited for saving the lives of 13 people while assisting in various disasters.

While the Rube may have gained notoriety for his entertaining and bizarre behavior, he was also one of the greatest southpaws in the history of the game. He had a fastball second to none, a brilliant curve, and a pitch that appears to be the forerunner to the cut-fastball; all delivered with pin-point command. Despite the extra-curricular antics, the Rube set season and career strike-out records that stood for sixty years; and he had the 7th-best ERA, 13th-best career WHIP, and 20th-best hits per 9 innings of all-time. He once won 10 games for the A’s – in the month of July alone, a feat unmatched by any hurler since.

In 1955, at age 93, Connie Mack called Rube the greatest pitcher, in terms of pure talent, he had ever seen – and Connie had seen them all, from Hoss Radbourne and Amos Rusie to Cy Young and Walter Johnson, and on through Lefty Grove and Bob Feller. When asked what Rube would have been like if he had maintained his focus, all Mack could utter was, “My, My, My, My!”

The problem was that he often wasn’t focused, and as his career progressed, John Barleycorn got the better of him. He oftentimes would come to the stadium intoxicated, yet still pitch brilliantly. Unfortunately, his fielding was often atrocious and as his behavior deteriorated, even his mentor, Connie Mack, had to eventually let him go. Following his release from the Athletics in 1907, the Rube’s career slowly faded away.

Seven years later, in 1914, Waddell contracted a viral infection while stacking sandbags at a flood site and died at the age of 37. His battery-mate, Ossee Schreckengost – who once insisted Waddel’s contract include a stipulation that forbade him from eating cracker’s in bed, and had nailed a steak to the wall of a tavern when it was not to his liking – was the only player at his funeral. He provided the insightful epitaph for The Rube’s headstone:

“Rube Waddell had only one priority, to have a good time.”

Vetoing Trades Is For Girls, Protesting Them Is For Petty Men… Like Us!

May 08, 2012 By: Grey Category: Y to Z 385 Comments →

If you’re a long time reader of Razzball, you’ve seen this fantasy baseball trade protest before.  In that case, go to the comments and ask a team question.  If you’re new, then go to the comments and ask a team question and maybe you come back afterwards and read this post for the first time.  Because we here at Razzball we don’t believe in vetoing a fantasy baseball trade, but we do fully support passive-aggressive, sarcastic belittling.  If someone in your league completed a trade that makes you wish they’d walk into oncoming traffic, you’re in luck!   Here’s a Mad Libs-type tirade to post in your league’s messageboard because when met with pettiness, you should retaliate with more pettiness.   Simply copy the below and fill in the appropriate words.  You may use this post to antagonize your closest friends, enemies or frenemies with the express written consent of Razzball.com.  Also, feel free to post your version in the comments.

To Those That Passed That (adjective) Trade,

When I saw the trade of (Player(s) Traded Away) for (Player(s) Received), I contemplated vetoing the trade, but even one trade veto can have a domino effect and before you know it every trade is being vetoed.  Instead, I decided to take the high road and just voice my disagreement on this message board.  Though I do sometimes question my leaguemates’ ability to read something that isn’t scribbled in crayons. On the bright side, you two (plural derogatory name) who were involved in the trade can use this post to practice your reading comprehension.   It’s not too late for that GED!

Since no one has the courtesy to respond to my trade offers, I figured you two were busy hanging out with your significant others. You know, your mothers. “No, Mom, I have friends.  The phone just rang the other day.  Now please pass the Miracle Whip.  Your chicken salad is dry.”  Or maybe you were busy making up excuses for walking in on your sister while she’s showering. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear the water running.”  Or maybe you two were busy (verb) each other in your (adjective) (body part).

It’s obviously your strategic prerogative to make any trades you want, as it’s my prerogative to wish you both harm. So, douchetards, I have an idea. Rather than digging through dumpsters for discarded porno mags, how about you two (plural derogatory name) get together and punch each other in the face?

The Guy Who Is Still Going To Beat Both Of You,

(Name)

P.S. Anyone need a closer?

2012 Baseball Predictions

April 04, 2012 By: Grey / Rudy Category: Y to Z 307 Comments →

Now’s the time when we put all of our 2012 baseball predictions in one place.  Then in October we can look back at this and laugh.  Oh, and we will laugh.  Big, bellowing, seat of your pants laughs. Hindsight is indeed 20/20.  But where’s the harm in setting ourselves to look like jackasses?  We run a fantasy baseball blog, after all.  Grey’s picks in RED. Rudy’s picks in BLUE. (For what it’s Wuertz, last year Grey was two games away from predicting the World Series and he did predict the AL Rookie of the Year, NL Cy Young and NL MVP.  Take my man to Vegas!)  Anyway, here’s our predictions for baseball’s post-season awards and whatnot:

AL Pennant WinnerLos Angeles Angels of Not Really Los Angeles – I hate to go with the obvious… That’s why I’m not choosing anyone from the AL East.

AL Pennant WinnerTexas Rangers – I live 20 minutes from their AAA stadium.  Hoping this gets me free tacos for the year.

NL Pennant WinnerCincinnati Reds – Dusty will once again face his nemesis Pujols in a series touted as, The Toothpick vs. The Hispanic Splinter.

NL Pennant WinnerPhiladelphia Phillies - As long as the three aces stay healthy, I think the Phillies are the favorite even if their lineup went in the dumper.

World Series ChampionReds – An added prediction:  Game five of the series and Mike Leake’s arm will fall off from overuse.  Only this will turn out to be a blessing because after the Reds gave Votto $200 million dollars, they’ll have no money for bats, so Votto will use Leake’s arm to bat with and homer.

World Series ChampionTexas Rangers – Free tacos!

AL ROYYu Darvish – I almost put Jesus Montero, but history tells us that imported pitchers do well their first year and if we ignore that we’re doomed to repeat it… But, I guess, I’m not ignoring it.  Either way, it’s a three-way fight for AL ROY this year (with Moore too).

AL ROYYu Darvish – It’s ridiculous that players in overseas pro leagues still qualify for this award.  Otherwise, I’d say Matt Moore.

NL ROYZack Cozart – This is my only prediction that I’m picking with my fantasy heart and not real baseball one.  I really want Cozart to do well.

NL ROYMat Gamel - Not really enamored with NL rookies this year.  I like Mesoraco and Rosario, but I don’t think they get enough playing time.  Can’t pick Cozart because it’ll only exacerbate Grey’s man crush.  Gamel’s evidently not a rookie so Yonder Alonso.  

AL Cy YoungFelix Hernandez – Last year, he was better than he was in his Cy Young year without the good fortune.  Here’s to F-Her getting lucky again!

AL Cy YoungJon Lester - Fried chicken and beer for everyone!

NL Cy YoungZack Greinke – I’ll admit to wanting to pick Kershaw again, but there’s no fun in that.

NL Cy YoungZack Greinke - Miffed I only got him in one league….but it’s the RCL!

AL MVPEvan Longoria – I made this prediction back in January and I’m gonna stand by it.  Okay, sit.  It’s a long season.

AL MVPRobinson Cano - I like Grey’s choice – particularly since he’s on a lot of our teams.  There are so many good 1Bs in the AL so it’ll be hard to pick one for MVP.

NL MVPJoey Votto – And on a cloud made of chili in the skyline of Cincy, Marge Schott’s ghost and the ghost of Joe Morgan’s broadcasting career will be smiling down.

NL MVPHanley Ramirez - Guillen and Hanley will be besties this year, Hanley gets a big extension, and then regresses again.

Now put your picks in the comments and we’ll look back on this in October and mock each other.

Razzball Poll – Part II

February 19, 2012 By: Rudy Gamble Category: Rudy Gamble, Y to Z 8 Comments →

We’re at over 1,000 responses on our first poll!

I’ll be sharing the results of that poll soon but really psyched to get that much feedback. It helps us tailor the content as well as provide relevant projections/player values (like Point Shares).

I should’ve asked the below questions as part of the initial poll but brainfarted. Oh well. Thanks in advance for the feedback! We’ll share the results of this poll as well.

Razzball Poll – League Formats

February 17, 2012 By: Rudy Gamble Category: Rudy Gamble, Y to Z 25 Comments →

I’m working on the 2012 Razzball Point Shares + $ values and want to get an idea what league formats everyone is playing.

The poll is only 4 questions. Thanks in advance for filling it out! I’ll share the results in the Comments.