In the clubhouse after last night’s game, the Nats watched as ESPN reported Strasburg wasn’t pitching until Friday so there was nothing to talk about. Nothing to say about Adam Dunn. Nothing to say about that Zimmerman guy. Josh Will-something… They couldn’t even remember his name. The team stopped watching the highlights, upset they were nothing but Anthony Edwards to Strasburg’s Clooney. Knowing something had to be done, Dunn left the clubhouse as he always had – by reaching up, removing the ceiling and climbing out. Then he jumped on the back of a blue ox and circled the globe until time rewound to before the game. Dunn then went out and hit his 18th, 19th and 20th homers while rocking a .280 average on the year. Now after the game, ESPN reported Dunn hit 3 homers, specifying it came just two days prior to Strasburg’s next start. Dunn shrugged, it was a start as he ripped the blue ox’s leg off and had dinner. Hee-haw! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Desmond – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer in as many games. Now has 6 homers and 6 steals on the year. Ever heard of the slow boat to China? Yeah, Desmond’s on the slow boat to 12/12.
Todd Helton – Placed on the DL with a sore back. He needs his Bond girl, Miss Aja Chair.
Brad Eldred – 3-for-4, 3 Runs. Was called up in the wake of Helton’s old age. Eldred has monster power and a poor average. In NL-Only leagues, I’d grab him for the chance at lightning in a bottle. I’d say grab him in mixed leagues too, but he may not see all the playing time over Giambi. Depends how quickly Giambi’s defense and fragility (<–hey, it’s Italian!) expose themselves.
Dexter Fowler – A three-run homer as he showed that Fowler power.
Chris Iannetta – 3 games, 3 homers. As if it needs to be said, but this is not good for Miguel Olivo.
Matt Garza – Picked up the save. Soriano had pitched four days in a row so Maddon opted for Garza on his throw day. Or maybe Maddon owns Hellickson in a keeper and wants to see Garza get hurt. Hard to say.
David Price – 7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 10 Ks. Hopefully he doesn’t need to close out Sunday’s game.
Marc Rzepczynski – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks in The RZE’s return from a fractured finger. Shame on a finga! The consonant monger had a great K-rate in the minors and is worth a flier in AL-Only leagues.
Delmon Young – Hit his 10th homer yesterday while suffering a sprained wrist. Delmon said his wrist should be F-I-N-E, fine. He spelled it out gangsta-style.
Orlando Hudson – 3-for-4 with a homer. I yawned while I typed his name.
Aramis Ramirez – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his third homer in two games. Think it’s safe to get him back in the lineup now.
Josh Johnson – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. Now leads the majors with a 1.70 ERA. C’mon, Marlins, trade him for some prospects, you know you wanna.
Mike Stanton – 2nd game in a row with a homer. Definitely can mollywhop with the best of them, but he can be a drain on average for this year.
Dan Uggla – 3-for-3 as he hits .285 on the year. Bet you’re glad you avoided him in March with his terrible average.
Casey Kotchman – 2 homers yesterday as he emphatically answered the question, “Is Casey Kotchman retired, playing 1st for the M’s or in the minors?”
Doug Fister – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 1 K as the Fister/Johnson battery made Mariner fans wince.
Chad Qualls – I see your confidence Kirk Gibson and I raise you an inning thrown and three runs given up.
Edwin Jackson – 5 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K. Hey, at least he didn’t need 149 pitches.
Max Scherzer – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. Whoever the pitching coach was in Triple-A who fixed Scherzer, he might think about applying for a job in the big leagues.
Buster Posey – 4-for-4, 6 RBIs and two homers. Let’s hope he doesn’t work out with Wieters in the offseason.
Andres Torres – 2-for-5 with his 5th homer. He also has 17 steals. Incredibly, Torres is headed for a 10/30 year. That is all… But that should be enough.
Carlos Lee – For the 2nd straight day, Lee and his “I’m too old for this shizz” brother in arms, Berkman homered.
Jayson Nix – Now with his 5th homer in 5 games. Maybe Nix hired Marcus Giles as his strength and conditioning coach.
Matt Holliday – 4-for-5, 4 Runs, 2 RBIs and 2 more homers in Coors. Hey, I know that one… 2007 Matt Holliday, right? Cool impersonation!
Jake Peavy – To the DL and off to see Dr. Freeze, but this doesn’t affect anyone who reads Razzball because I told you to avoid Peavy this year. What? You didn’t listen? Aw, that’s a sad story. Here’s a tissue. Taking over for Peavy, will be D-Hud. To see my Daniel Hudson fantasy, click that thingamabobber.
Carlos Quentin – Could be out until Friday with a sore knee. His knee obviously doesn’t own him in fantasy.
Aaron Hill – Was out with a stomach virus. Interestingly enough, his owners haven’t been able to stomach him all year.
Martin Prado – 2 homers yesterday, now has 10 homers on the year with a .336 average and 61 Runs. Yeah, he’s going to be overrated next year.
Matt Diaz – Hit a homer. Sure, it was off Gimme Moyer, but, more importantly, what is Gimme? *taps finger, cracks neck, yawns* He’s a lefty! Diaz eats lefties for breakfast.
Shane Victorino – Hit his 13th homer yesterday to keep pace with Ryan Howard, who hit his 16th. Now if Howard had 17 steals to match Victorino, they’d be close in fantasy value.
Bronson Arroyo – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks. In 303 1/3 innings over the last three years, he has a 3.06 ERA in the 2nd half. Okay, that’s the last time I’m mentioning it (until he pitches well again).
Jonathan Niese – 7 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. I could make the case that Niese is having a better season than Pelfrey. If I were to make that case, I’d talk about K-rate and xFIP. That’s if I were to make that case.
Sean Gallagher – Pirates received Gallagher for cash. The unconfirmed cash figure was seventeen dollars, but the Pirates had a Has-Been Prospect coupon. If you’re going to pick up Gallagher, you better put on a raincoat because he can get messy when he takes a mallet to your team’s ERA/WHIP.