Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Or as they call them in New Jersey, the “What’s this crap?” Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On the first day of the season, I said something profound and uplifting. Don’t go back to look. I’m sure I did. Today, I’m like Mark Twain talking about summer in San Francisco but less pithy. The coldest winter I ever spent was the last day of the baseball season. It’s metaphorical, friend. Trust me. Here’s where I tell you how everything’s gonna be okay. How there will be a next season, barring the Mayans taking things into their own hands… I can’t do that. I can’t tell you there will be a next season. *checking notes* Actually, I can do that. There will be a next season. Hey, that’s good news! Also, next year we’ll know not to draft Morneau. That’s more good news! And next year we’ll be done with the hair transplant so girls will start to react favorably to us. That’s good news too! So, I know you’re blue, but without clouds there’s no sun. Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. Again, metaphorical. Or is that meteorological? You know what? These aren’t things we need to get hung up on. We’re gonna sit here, read all my year-end recaps that’ll be coming in the next few weeks and wait until next year. Even if gangrene sets into our legs from lack of circulation! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Reyes – Laid down a bunt single then had himself removed from the game to guarantee he won the batting title. That’s not how Ted Williams would’ve liked it. He risked a .400 average to take all his ABs in the last game of the season. The only time he quit while ahead was after death.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Milwaukee Brewers 2011 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2011)
2011 (30) | 2010 (14) | 2009 (10) | 2008 (21) | 2007 (5) | 2006 (5) | 2005 (3) | 2004 (1)
Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [94-65] NL Central (record as of 9/25/11
AAA: [71-73] Pacific Coast League – Nashville
AA: [64-73] Southern League – Huntsville
A+: [62-76] Florida League – Brevard County
A: [67-72] Midwest League – Wisconson
R: [30-46] Pioneer League – Helena
R: [17-39] Arizona League
The Run Down
Prior to the 2011 season start, the Brewers made several trades that depleted their farm system of top talent.
Jered Weaver will not make his final start of the year because he doesn’t care about your H2H team. Weaver ends the season with a line of 18-8/2.41/1.01/198. If you throw out three bad starts, his ERA would’ve been 1.72 in 220 innings, but if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts no one would ever leave the bathroom. Verlander’s gonna win the Cy Young, shizz is foregone. Put it in an envelope and hand it to your mail carrier so he can steam it open and check it for cash. Either way, let’s look at what Weaver did this year. Mullet over, if you will. Weaver was better last year. Blunt is as blunt does right there. His K-rate, xFIP and hair were all better. His K-rate this year was right in line with past rates, if you exclude 2010. For now, last year looks like the outlier for Ks. Also, batters made contact with his pitches inside the strike zone at a higher rate than last year and hitters weren’t as fooled by pitches outside the strike zone. In the end, he’s not going to be terrible in 2012; it’s just a repeat of 2011 seems unlikely, unless Superman circles the earth a few hundred times.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the first installment of the grading process, we’ll look at the gold stars, the players that exceeded expectations. As always, in the comments, feel free to beat your chest about who you were high on relative to the rest of fantasy baseball players!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mark Trumbo is done for the year with a stress fracture in his foot. What an inauspicious end to his rookie season, if I’m using the word inauspicious correctly, or even spelling it right. Year line was 65/29/87/.254/9. Trumbo’s OBP was tizzerrible at .291, but his minor league rates suggest he can grow into someone that can take a walk here and there. He’ll never be a .400 OBP guy. The power and the light speed is for real. His most impressive number for this year? 539. As in the number at-bats Scioscia gave him. Sure, he was a bit hogtied with Kendrys adding an S for “sidelined.” In 2012 when Kendrys returns (or is the verb singular there?), we’ll see if Scioscia learned his lesson that every player doesn’t need to be a variation of a light-hitting middle infielder. I have my doubts. There’s talk Trumbo could see action at third base next year, but he fields about as well as Dalton Trumbo avoided commie accusations. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:
Yovani Gallardo – Scratched from his last start so he’s ready for the postseason. Um, I have fantasy championships on the line? Hello, priorities. On a real baseball note, I hope the Brewers go all the way in the playoffs. That is who I’m rooting for. Or is it whom? Anyhoo! (Anywhom?) Not just because I want to see Selig’s toupee get all bent out of shape when he hands the World Series trophy to the owner that replaced him or because I picked them in the preseason. I want the Sausage Race on a national stage. The kielbasa has toiled in obscurity long enough.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alex Gordon and Jeff Francoeur were shut down for the year because the peasant Royals want to give Lorenzo Cain and Jarrod Dyson a full three days to show their worth. Gordon’s line this year was 101/23/87/.303/17. Terrific! Wonderful! Tonderific! But if you peak under the hood, things aren’t as they seem. His BABIP is .358, easily a career high in the majors. His walk rate and line drive rate dropped from last year, and his ground ball rate nudged up. His homers and speed look about right, but if luck goes against him those two categories could get affected. He’s probably much closer to a .280 hitter with 17-20 homers and 12-15 steals. With just a tad bad luck, he becomes a fifteen homer guy with 10 steals and a .265 average. That’s far from spectacular. That’s spectaculess. I just made that up; you like it? You use it. As for Frenchy, his line was 77/20/87/.285/22. Oh, well, that looks pretty normal– Wait a second, 22 steals?! Where the eff in the effhole did those come from? His previous high was 8. He always failed to take pitches like he needed some ADHD medicine, but now he’s running the bases like it too. “Sorry, first base coach, whatever your name is, can’t stay at 1st, gotta run, peace!” That’s Frenchy, and he can’t even stop for a period at the end of sentences; he only has time for commas. He’s always been a notorious bad ball hitter. This year Frenchy swung at 41% of balls outside the strike zone, which is actually high for him, and his percentage of balls swung at inside the strike zone was actually down. Only thing that changed this year, he made more contact with pitches outside of the strike zone. If that stops along with his whacked out of his mind stealing, he may use 2012 to revert to his old ways, so it’ll be hard to give Frenchy my arrondissement. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce a very good friend of mine is putting on a one man show in Los Angeles. If you go see the play, you may just run into yours truly and my significant other — my mustache. If you can’t make it to Los Angeles or if you’re in Los Angeles but afraid to leave your house, you can buy his book. Anyway II, the roundup:
Hunter Pence – 3-for-5 with his 21st homer. Hey, that homer can drink legally! After Pence sat out for three games with a sore knee, it was good to see him return, unless you had him on your bench like I did. Sonavabench!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Twins aren’t winning. Twins haven’t won all year, actually. You can look it up. They’re 0-for-2011. But Ben Revere wants to steal bases for no reason. I love that. I’d prefer my fantasy players act selfishly and just try to inflate their own value. Maybe that’s lame, but we’re talking about fantasy baseball. We’re not talking about getting chicks with your IROC. When a player tries to inflate his own value, it helps us fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!). With so many players shut down or resting for the playoffs, the best thing we can hope for right now is someone who just wants some stats. Revere is the player. In the last week, Revere is hitting .464 with 5 runs, 4 RBIs and 3 steals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Turns out Leo Nunez isn’t exactly who he said he was. He’s been playing under an assumed name. His real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, he’s a Latin 29 and he’s pen pals with Keyser Söze. He enjoys snorkeling through Atlantis, talking to his giant rabbit Harvey and hunting Sasquatch. With the Marlins’ discovery of Leo the Lyin’, he was put on the restricted list. One time I was put on a restricted list at a nightclub because I had a few too many tequila shots, danced with someone’s girlfriend, who I shouldn’t have, and bam!Please, blog, may I have some more?