Monthly Archives: March 2011

Grey

Feliz Closidad

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 100 Comments

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As I’ve been saying for the last month, Neftali Feliz will be the closer and he doesn’t have syphilis.  Now stop experimenting on him!  Feliz shoots all the way back up to the top of the Donkeycorns and can/should/verb be the top closer in the game by the end of the season.  This also means Matt Harrison will be a starter.  And to that I say, “I enjoyed your work on Falcon Crest.”  Matt Harrison shall be now known as the Lone Ranger, as in he’ll be the lone Ranger that no one drafts.  Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball news:

Tommy Hunter – Suffered a groin strain.  I know too well about those!  Oh, wait, no I don’t.  *blushes*  Maybe they’ll put Neftali back in the rotation.  I’m kidding!  They’ll probably use Dave Bush.  Um, yikes.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jays Blue Losing Ks

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 213 Comments

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Straight from Rudy’s risky pitcher post, “Sliders are the most effective pitch one can throw but are worse on the arm than fastballs/changeups.  Pitchers who rely on sliders (15+% of pitchers) take this risk if they feel it’s the only way to reach their expected level of success.  Young pitchers relying heavily on sliders for success are more akin to a kid on his tippy-toes trying to make it on a ride – they can only keep it up so much before they fall below that line or get hurt trying.”  Following that line of thought, Brandon Morrow was thrown from the big boy ride and will start the season on the DL because he threw sliders with reckless a-Brandon.  The Jays are going to backdate Morrow’s DL stint so he’ll only miss one start.  Yeah, and I’d like to backdate my fantasy draft where I took Morrow, but that ain’t happening either.  If Morrow only misses one start all year, call me Mr.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stephen

Minnesota Twins, 2010 Minor League Review

| Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 20 Comments

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Minnesota Twins 2010 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2010):
2010 (7) | 2009 (22) | 2008 (18) | 2007 (8) | 2006 (6) | 2005 (4) | 2004 (5)

Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [94 – 68] AL Central
AAA: [49 – 95] International League – Rochester
AA: [44 – 98] Eastern League – New Britian
A+: [64 – 74] Florida League – Fort Myers
A: [71 – 65] Midwest League – Beloit
Rk: [41 – 25] Appalachian League – Elizabethtown

The Run Down
As a Twins fan I try to be as objective as possible, typically leaning towards harsher judgments of their players and prospects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Beachy, For Shore!

| 2011 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 184 Comments

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We’re gonna try and turn over a new, positive leaf here at Razzball. No longer are we going to sing the blues when one of our favorites doesn’t make the team.  We’re gonna emoticon all over your face for someone else.  That other person just happens to be the guy replacing Mike Minor in the rotation.  Three ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce to you, Mr.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 148 Comments

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Frank Francisco has a sore pectoral, Dotel has a sore hammy, I have a boo-boo on my finger.  Who’s going to close for the Jays?!  Rauch, and there’s no reason to scream.  Brian Wilson lost his Smile and may miss Opening Day.  Joe Nathan looks like he’s going to be the closer and also like he’ll be nothing like the Joe Nathan of old.  I’d handcapp him with Matt Cuffs… Uh, huh?  It makes me nauseous to write this but we got a hurt Putz.  He should be fine a week or two into the season, so, ya know, still draft him.  Fernando Rodney is going to be the closer and he’s going to be dreadful.  Andrew Bailey has a forearm strain and can never stay healthy.  Same could be said about Lidge, except his pain is in the biceps, or is it bicep?  Neftali wants to start, but I still think he closes.  Though I would love a decision on this.  Kevin Gregg sucks.  Storen may not even make the team the way he’s throwing.  And Franklin is firmly in the closing role which I don’t think lasts.  In other words, it’s the usual closer shizz.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Phillies 2B Goes From Utley To Ugly

| 2011 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 100 Comments

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A Spanish woman, dressed in black, just pedaled past my house, chanting, “Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo… Oh shoot, I ripped my stockings!”  It was totally sad.  Kinda like when your best buddy, let’s call him Chase Utley, gets old man knee and the Phillies replace him with Luis Castillo.  Luis Castillo would be good for my pre-All-Star Game contest where him and Juan Pierre have a home run contest and the gopher ball-happy Rodrigo Lopez is pitching.  Just think of how few back’s we’d have to hear from Berman.  There’s nothing as far as fantasy goes with Castillo.  Even if objects appear closer in the side view, you still can’t see Castillo’s best days.  To give you an idea of how terrible he is, the Mets released him.  Long story short, he’s useless in any league where there are other starting 2Bs available.  This Castillo signing does spell further doom for Utley.  You really can’t draft him at this point.  Also, my giant ostrich head has been in the sand too long with Howard.  No Utley hurts him.  I’m dropping him eight spots in the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings to right behind A-Rod.  I would still draft him, but you can’t expect 115 RBIs or 95 runs at this point.  Well, you can, but people might start to worry about you.  Anyway, here’s some more news in fantasy baseball:

Johnny Cueto – Will miss 10 days or more with shoulder inflammation.  Looks like Jason LaRue’s voodoo doll is finally working.  This sounds like Cueto is going to miss at least a few weeks of the season.  Obviously, not a great sign, but before we take Cueto to the mattresses for getting injured we should tempurpedic our concern.  It’s a long season and he had a 5+ ERA last April and you still drafted him this year.  He gets better in the heat, just DL him once the Reds do.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Who Is Grey Albright?

| Y to Z | 162 Comments

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(The following is an abridged Introduction to my (e)book, Who Is Grey Albright? To purchase, click here.  It’s $15.  I will be donating a portion to my growing drinking problem.  After you buy it, I’ll email you the (e)book.)

Introduction

An (e)book sounds like something that should be trying to sell you something.  That’s not my goal.  Well, I mean, it’s not my goal to sell you anything beyond this (e)book.  Though I do know about this great deal on Nigerian lottery tickets.  Not only will I not be selling something, but I imagine if you read this (e)book from pages 1-102, you’ll actually be less inclined to buy something from me.  You might not be interested in anything I say ever again.  Now if you read pages 1-102, but skip pages 19-20, 32-34, 41-43, 54-58, 61-63, 67-73, 88-89 and 93 (depending about how you feel about cocaine and prostitutes) then you might still find me somewhat likable.

Please, blog, may I have some more?