Yesterday, Bob Feller told a story about how he once threw 117 MPH while urinating.Â He went on to talk about Triscuits and where he left his teeth.Â When he came back around to baseball, he said no one’s throwing a 1.15 ERA, even that guy with no hair.Â Once again, the old Feller has forgotten more than you could ever know.Â To paraphrase EPMD, last night Ubaldo Jimenez had his ERA tooken.Â He gave up 6 earned runs in 5 and two-thirds innings.Â It’s no crime to be hit by the Red Sox in Coors and you had to expect the ERA was going to come up at some point.Â All things considered, he K’d 7 and walked no one vs. a club that knows the strike zone.Â Was his best strikeout to walk ratio game in a while.Â He’s still a terrific pitcher, he might just be a 3.00 ERA one instead of a 1-something one.Â You’ll take that medicine and like it.Â Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Stewart – 2-for-4 and a homer off Papelbon.Â Ride, Mini Mini Donkey, ride.
Jarrett Hoffpauir – 1-for-3 as Cito Gaston announced that Hoffpauir will be the every day 3rd baseman.Â Hip-hip-Hoffpauir!Â Though once Snider returns Hoffpauir will probably be squeezed for time.Â I went over my Hoffpauir fantasy the other day.Â Speaking of Snider, what happened to that young brother?Â He’s pulling a Kotchman, for sure.Â Was supposed to be ready in less than the original 15 days on the DL, now looking like we might not see him again until after the All-Star break.Â A hurt wrist that is lingering this long is not a good sign, says Mr. Obvious.
Tommy Manzella – Fractured his index finger and will be out for 6 weeks.Â Has anyone ever seen Manzella and Adam Everett in the same place?Â A-ha!
Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks.Â Kid Cueto strikes again against a weak team in a pitcher’s park.Â Cueto looks like he should be a 3.75 ERA pitcher over the course of the season.Â To get those numbers though, you have to start him every time out, which is a bit nail biting.
Edinson Volquez – 5 IP, 1 ER in a rehab start.Â Could be back before the All-Star break.Â For those in the back of the room, that’s not that long.Â Don’t you love how Edinson was suspended for 50 days and recovered from Tommy John surgery quicker than Erik Bedard, who was throwing in April and originally slated to return in May?Â In related news, Bedard’s supposed to return soon too.Â We shall see.
Jose Reyes – 3-for-4, steal, homer and 3 Runs.Â Member back in March when someone said my Reyes pick was the worst pick of the Friends & Family draft?Â I don’t want to make too much of it, but it is pretty illustrative of how preseason news is always blown out of proportion.Â (Though the same guy thought Beltran was the best pick of the draft.Â Hmm…)
R.A. Dickey – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.Â As soon as you pick up Dickey, your fantasy situation will get sticky.
Carlos Quentin – 2-for-3 with 2 homers as he bats over .400 in the last week.Â Don’t thaw out Ted Williams’ head just yet, but Quentin’s finally come alive.
Cliff Lee – 9 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks.Â The Adverb has 76 Ks and 4 BBs.Â Now read that again emphasizing different words.Â Still impressive, right?
Tyler Colvin – Hit his 2nd homer in the last five games.Â Probably will continue to hit for some power, but his average may drop with more playing time.Â Think 20 homers and a .275 average on the year.
Randy Wells – 6 IP, 6 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks.Â Against the M’s in Safeco?Â Forget it, we’re done.Â Don’t ask me if you should start Wells anywhere.Â You shouldn’t.
Ricky Romero – 8 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.Â He’s on pace for 200+ strikeouts.Â Cust kayin’.
Stephen Strasburg – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks as he faced his toughest competition yet, the Royals.Â Be interesting once he takes on a real major league offense.Â For those zealots who like to keep score:Â DeJesus 1, Big Baby Jesus 0.
Ryan Ludwick – Missed yesterday’s game with leg cramps.Â Doesn’t Midol make something for that?
Sean Rodriguez – 1-for-4 with a homer.Â Unfortunately, it looks like he’s back to playing intermittently, unless this homer can shake loose some more playing time.
John Ely – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.Â It’s nice, but I wouldn’t start him outside of Dodgers Stadium vs. good matchups until I see more consistency.
Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks.Â You know how Nolasco needs at least one minor league assignment to get straightened out every year?Â I have an idea, whoever’s fixing his mechanics in Triple-A, let them manage the Marlins.
Gaby Sanchez – 3-for-5 with his 8th homer, hitting around .400 for the last week and over .350 in June.Â I wouldn’t recommend him for anything but Runs and average, but sometimes you need that sorta thing.
Chase Headley – 1-for-3 with a homer.Â The one league where I was stuck with Headley (Don’t confuse that with sticking with Headley.Â It’s a 20 team league, I’m stuck with him.), I’ve resigned myself to only expecting production on the road, where he’s batting .291.
Brian Bannister – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.Â He pitched well because at no point in this game did Dr. Brian Bannister turn into the Incredible Hulk of Crap.
Dontrelle Willis – 2 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners — 7 of which were walks.Â I really have no allegiances when it comes to baseball players.Â Probably what makes me half-decent at this fantasy shizz, but the story of Dontrelle’s complete collapse is kinda sad.Â Unless his previous success was ‘roid related, then I’m no longer sad, but I don’t think it was (who knows though, right?Â I know!Â I mean, I don’t know if I know, you know?).Â I think this is some Ankiel, Knoblauch yips thing.Â I wish I were Miguel Olivo so I could give Dontrelle a big hug.
Aaron Heilman – 1 IP, 1 ER and the blown save.Â Meanwhile, Sam Demel continues to dominate in middle relief.Â I don’t think the Diamondbacks go to Demel, but they could.Â At this point, if they brought in Byung-Hyun Kim, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Curtis Granderson – 3-for-5 with a homer and steal.Â Ten more games in a row exactly like this and we’ll be cool.
Manny Parra – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.Â I enjoy the Parra, I do.Â It’s no secret.Â He will kill your WHIP and he’s prone to 2 IP, 6 ER-type games, but he’s chock full ‘o strikeout potential.
Chris Johnson – 2-for-4 and a steal as he got his second start in a row.Â Definitely worth a look in NL-Only leagues.
Shin-Soo Choo – 2 homers, 4 RBIs as he thanked owners for Choo-Choo-choosing him.
Kerry Wood – 1/3 IP, 2 ER.Â Really should be replaced by Chris Perez, but I think the Indians are trying to prove Wood’s worth on the trade market.Â Problem is each time he pitches he’s worthless.
Daniel Nava – 2-for-3 as he still bats .382 on the year.Â In a few leagues, I grabbed him for the chance on some extended upside.Â The other day I went over what to expect from him.Â Search the site, it’ll burn calories.
J.D. Drew – Red Sox announced Drew won’t be back on Thursday, after announcing two days ago he wouldn’t be back on Wednesday.Â You think they have one guy in charge of making J.D. Drew injury announcements?Â Me, “Hey, you’re standing next to me at a bar, what do you do?”Â Him, “I make J.D. Drew injury announcements.”Â Me, “Of course you do, they need a guy for that!”
Josh Beckett – Threw 55 pitches on Wednesday, slated to return mid-July.Â If he returns and you’re hoping for better than a 4.00 ERA pitcher, you’re hoping for too much.Â I mean, he’s only a career 3.90 ERA guy to begin with.Â OekÃ¡vÃ¡nÃ.Â And that’s me putting expectations in Czech.