The White Sox traded Adam Eaton for Reynaldo Lopez, Dane Dunning and top pitching prospect, Lucas Giolito; the second day in a row top prospects are headed to the White Sox. ¬†It doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibilities that Theo Epstein is studying abroad this winter and abroad is the South Side of Chicago. ¬†“Excuse me, but, uh, why do you have this electrodes hooked up to my brain?” ¬†That’s Theo Epstein as Rick Hahn dips out of the interrogation room to get coffee. ¬†If I were a fan of a club that had no chance of winning next year, I’d want my team to go about rebuilding like the White Sox. ¬†“What, you don’t like our signing of Ian Desmond?” ¬†I’ll get to you in a second, Rockies. ¬†The White Sox have taken a bunch of lemons, planted lemon seeds next to a sugar plantation that they purchased off eBay and should have lemonade in a few years. ¬†They might even trade that old guy from the Country Time Lemonade commercial for another prospect! ¬†As for fantasy, Adam Eaton went 14/14 and 14/18 the last two years, which is deceptively awful. ¬†It’s one thing to go 14/14, it’s another thing to go 14/14 in 619 ABs. ¬†He’s like Markakis as a middle infielder. ¬†If you own Eaton in any fantasy league shallower than 14-team mixed, you should lose your league. ¬†The problem with a guy like Eaton in a shallower league is anyone who is even half paying attention should be able to beat his stats with just a few decent waiver wire grabs. ¬†You can likely beat Eaton’s numbers by just streaming hitters every day, and never even holding any guy who¬†gets hot. ¬†Eaton’s stats come out to one homer and one steal every two weeks. ¬†Holy Jewish Jesus, that’s bad. ¬†Sure, there’s some value to his 90+ runs and .280+ average, but if you can’t get runs and average that matches that from streaming, again, you deserve to lose. ¬†For 2017, I’ll give Eaton the projections 102/12/49/.277/16 in 605 ABs. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2017 fantasy baseball:
Lucas Giolito – Went the other way in the Eaton trade. ¬†I’ve already gave you my Lucas Giolito fantasy, and 95% of it still holds. ¬†You need to throw out the Dusty Baker¬†hazarai, and the NL East became the AL Central, which isn’t great, but now Giolito has a clearer path to a starter role. ¬†There’s talk he could be in the White Sox rotation out of the gate, but he can’t exactly throw a full season yet, so I picture him being held down until June. ¬†For now, I’m keeping his projections the same — 5-4/3.67/1.27/97 in 105 IP.
Wade Davis – Traded to the Cubs for Jorge Soler. This feels like a move that only would’ve happened after the Cubs won the World Series. ¬†Doesn’t this feel like a 2005 Red Sox move?¬†Maybe I’m overestimating the fan IQ, but I picture a lot more disagreement with trading a future bat for a closer that missed time last year with forearm problems and had his worst K and walk rates of his reliever career. ¬†¬†I know, I know, Soler hasn’t been good, and, yes, the Cubs time to win is now, not in three¬†years, if it takes that long for Soler, but¬†if Wade Davis makes it through 2017 without at least one DL stint, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, and, while my nephew may enjoy bananas, he’s not a monkey. ¬†Wouldn’t be shocked to see Hector Rondon closing by May. ¬†Then Carl Edwards Jr. closing by May 15th. ¬†Then Mike Montgomery is tried as closer on June 1st. ¬†Then Wade Davis returns for two weeks until he’s injured again. ¬†Then A.J. Ramos, after a trade, closes for¬†the Cubs on¬†July 25th. ¬†What can I say, my Magic Eight Ball is very exact. ¬†For 2017, I’ll give Wade Davis the projections of 3-1/2.87/1.16/55, 33 saves in 50 IP with nothing but downside from there.
Jorge Soler – Traded to the Royals in the¬†Davis deal. ¬†Like a¬†recent emigre of Transylvania, this will be the first time Soler¬†will be able to do anything¬†without someone¬†breathing down his neck. You can’t underestimate the amount of pressure on a guy who repeatedly had players knocking on his playing time door. ¬†“Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Kyle Schwarber taking your playing time.” ¬†“This is the worst Knock, Knock joke ever.” ¬†That’s Soler. ¬†For 2017, I’ll give him the projections 64/20/77/.261/2 in 487¬†ABs with a chance for upside.
Aroldis Chapman – Yankees tied him up for five years like Aroldis ties up prostitutes in his hotel room. ¬†Somewhere, Fidel Castro is sitting, lighting his cigar on the surrounding flames, saying, “I gave that kid everything,” which was a bunk bed he shared with Jose Abreu and an oven mitt that the entire country shared as a glove. ¬†But they have health care! ¬†Supposedly, but I don’t trust Michael Moore, could be the baseball hat that looks like it smells like onions. ¬†Any hoo! ¬†Aroldis heads back to the Yanks and will be as dominant¬†as always, between domestic abuse scandals, of course. ¬†Okay, one more thing, Google suggests “Aroldis Chapman Jew?” before it suggests “Aroldis Chapman domestic abuse.” ¬†Okay, really, any hoo now, for 2017, I’ll give him the projections 5-3/1.98/0.95/100, 42 saves in 64 IP.
Ian Desmond – Signed with the Rockies (for a half a decade, which is one of the worst real life baseball deals I’ve heard in a while, but this is about fantasy, so let’s move on. ¬†Dot dot dot. ¬†Okay, one last thing on real life baseball, the Rockies would be a playoff contender if every final game score was 7-6.). As for fantasy, *going through the old Rolodex in the brain looking for a Desmond highlight* ¬†There it is! ¬†In his rookie year, Desmond¬†hit the¬†longest home run at Nationals Park, and Adam Dunn was on that team. In 2015, he hit the 8th longest home run in the majors at 470 feet. ¬†What the hell am I getting at? ¬†Desmond doesn’t hit wall scrappers, he hits bombs, and now he’s headed to Coors. ¬†He may average 430 feet on his 30 HRs next year. ¬†Yes, I said it, 30 HRs. ¬†I’m done underestimating the magic¬†Silver Bullet that is Coors. ¬†As of now, the Rockies say he’ll play 1st base, which makes total sense with his cannon for an arm. ¬†Ow, eye roll headache! ¬† For 2017, I’ll give him the projections of¬†79/30/94/.273/15 in 579 ABs.
Jeff Locke – Signed with the Marlins. ¬†He’ll be in the rotation right behind Koehler, which is not to be confused with a¬†behind on a Koehler. ¬†My bum is on your Koehler! ¬†My bum is on your Koehler!