Two Start Cookie Shop: May 26-June 1

There’s underwhelming weeks for two start options, and then there’s this week. Yuck. Not only are the Chocolate Chip and Sugar Cookies in short supply, but even the Oatmeal Raisins are lacking in quantity. (They’re also lacking in quality.) If you’re someone who comes here looking for options to chase after on the waiver wire for the upcoming week, my advice is to go ahead and take a gander at what’s on offer, but come back next week. The selection should be better then, because it would be hard for it to be worse.

What follows are our projections at time of writing as to who will be making two-starts this week, but weather, injuries, and secretive team management mean they are just that: projections. To stay as up-to-date as possible, consult Rudy Gamble’s invaluable Streamonator.

Chocolate Chip Cookies (Must Start)

They are kings of the cookie world for a reason. A warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookie just makes you feel happy. Sort of like getting to set your rosters knowing you get two starts this week from these guys.

• The Dodgers play six games this week. That means, of course, that you’re hoping more than assuming that Yamamoto makes two starts. But he might. That would be exciting! You’re starting him either way.

Sugar Cookies (Should Start)

They’re fine. You could certainly do worse than having these guys in your lineup, but don’t expect it to be remarkable.

• I’ll admit, I was strongly tempted to put Strider a tier and several spots lower on this list. His velocity was down from what we’re used to seeing from him in his first start back from his latest trip to the IL, and just generally didn’t look very good. Add to it, those aren’t the greatest matchups for a guy trying to find himself. But, he’s Spencer Strider. Would you bench him even if I told you to? Of course not. So go ahead and start him, but be aware the results might not match what the name advertises just yet.

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (Could Start)

These aren’t for everyone. These are the pitchers that may be a pleasant surprise, or they could ruin your week. Tread lightly.

• I still don’t trust Heaney. If you want to call me hater, that’s fair. Just know that Streamonator doesn’t trust Heaney, either. That he has an ERA below 3 makes no sense and is going to drive me crazy. One would expect that to change after facing Arizona. Yet it hasn’t so far this season. And so, I put him in this tier anyway. That’s how bad this week is.

Fortune Cookies (Do Not Start)

Yeah, they’re technically cookies. Hold on, what does that little slip of paper say? “Bad times are heading your way.” Oh. Okay, then.

• Yes, I saw how well Houser pitched in his first start with the White Sox. No, I’m not buying it. Neither should you.