It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in August, you screamed out “I love you, Giancarlo!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend. C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2014. It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2015. To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been? Understand where I’m coming from?” It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Please, for the love that all is holy, don’t ask me if this is for next year. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2014 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:
1. Buster Posey – Have absolutely nothing against Posey. Actually he seems like a good cat, assuming I liked cats and if saying ‘Posey cat’ didn’t make me sound like I was a villain from a Saturday morning cartoon. Drafting a top catcher is a good way to lose your league. You drafted a top catcher instead of, say, Pujols. Then someone else punted catcher and drafted Pujols. The first person ended up with Trumbo or Teixeira or Morneau and Mauer (or say they avoided that trap and got Posey). They still lost to the 2nd person who drafted Pujols and just picked up Mesoraco, Gomes, McCann, Gattis…Do I need to go on? Preseason Rank #2, 2014 Projections: 70/20/88/.308/2, Final Numbers: 72/22/89/.311
2. Carlos Santana – He reminds me of another ex-Indians catcher, V-Mart. So, in 17 years, Carlos Santana will have his best season, as he teams up with Rob Thomas Jr. Preseason Rank #3, 2014 Projections: 79/23/85/.260/3, Final Numbers: 68/27/85/.231/5
3. Devin Mesoraco – You know how every interracial child is beautiful? Well, whatever got together to make Mesoraco should be outlawed. Is it Italian and Puerto Rican? I don’t know, but ban it. I think the only picture I could find of his family says it all. No, move back a little more…A little more…A little more still. Any the hoo! I did rank Mesoraco low, but I had him in a tier of upside catchers, so the seed was planted. Preseason Rank #18, 2014 Projections: 49/16/62/.250/2, Final Numbers: 54/25/80/.273/1
4. Jonathan Lucroy – Bit surprised I ranked him as low as I did in the preseason (8). I suppose I didn’t trust the counting stats to return for him, because I refused to believe he’d start that many games again. In fact! In the preseason, I said, “If he gets 140+ games again, he’ll once again challenge the top three at the position.” And that’s me quoting me! So, I didn’t want to rely on that many games started again, but I did put it out there it was possible. Preseason Rank #8, 2014 Projections: 52/15/72/.286/6, Final Numbers: 73/13/69/.301/4
5. Yan Gomes – I was off on Gomes in the preseason, but the thing is, and there’s a thing, you better believe there’s a thing, I still picked up Gomes in May in one league and had him for the better part of the season. This holds for Devin too. Catchers are so irrelevant that you can pick up a top 5 catcher in May. So, how much sense does it make to draft one in, say, the first round? Preseason Rank #20, 2014 Projections: 49/12/55/.252/2, Final Numbers: 61/21/74/.278
6. Brian McCann – There were top ten catchers available in leagues the entire year. THE ENTIRE YEAR! Oops, sorry, my Caps Lock button gets sticky. Preseason Rank #4, 2014 Projections: 61/23/77/.251/2, Final Numbers: 57/23/75/.232
7. Salvador Perez – I was as close on his preseason ranking as you can be, yet wanna hear something sad? No, this isn’t a dead abuelita story. What’s sad is I was way more optimistic with his projections. The seventh ranked catcher overall doesn’t give you a whole lot. Put another way, the 7th ranked catcher is about as valuable as the 42nd ranked outfielder. Now tell me again how it makes sense to draft two catchers in a one catcher league? Buh-buh-but Grey I like to platoon them! Um, yeah. Preseason Rank #7, 2014 Projections: 72/15/84/.298/1, Final Numbers: 57/17/70/.260/1
8. Russell Martin – He’s like the Saw movie franchise. Just when you thought he was dead, he rises once more. Only the heroine is Alyssa Milano, not Shawnee Smith. By the by, Shawnee Smith is one smoking hot Cougar. Holy schnikeballs, I need to hide my lower half behind a desk. Preseason Rank #24, 2014 Projections: 48/16/60/.220/5, Final Numbers: 45/11/67/.290/4
9. Evan Gattis – Bit of a shame he didn’t get more at-bats due to injuries, because he could’ve ended up with a top 3 catcher year. You know who Gattis reminds me of? No, not the homeless man who recites poetry in front of Quizno’s. He reminds me of Napoli when he was with the Angels, prior to having a full-time job. If Gattis gets a (almost stutterer!) full-time job next year, watch out. Preseason Rank #11, 2014 Projections: 58/22/69/.239/1, Final Numbers: 41/22/52/.263
10. Dioner Navarro – Hahahahahahahah– Breathe, Grey, Hayzeuz Cristo, someone call a doctor, he’s turning blue… Jay? Dioner Navarro– Hahahahahaha…Dioner ranked in the top 20 catchers is Crazy Town, Population: Margot Kidder. In the top 10?! What a country! Canada that is. Amurica’s okay, but Dioner Navarro? Really, Seth Myers? Oy. I need a spa day. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 40/12/69/.274/3
11. Mike Zunino – His batting average was fiercely bad, and I’m not using fierce like I’m Tyra Banks on ANTM. His K-rate was the 2nd worst for all major leaguers with 400 plate appearances. Only one worst: Tyler Flowers. Preseason Rank #17, 2014 Projections: 53/17/68/.245/3, Final Numbers: 51/22/60/.199
12. Wilin Rosario – Ouch. Not to sound like a leprechaun with a friend who is into bestiality, but he screwed me pooch. Wilin might’ve listened to too (stutterer!) much Talking Heads this past preseason, because he stopped making sense. A power hitter in Coors is the kind of guy you bet on to produce; he just did nothing. Luckily, I told everyone and their mother’s uncle’s brother to not draft a top catcher, so it was irrelevant. Preseason Rank #1, 2014 Projections: 69/24/82/.272/4, Final Numbers: 46/13/54/.267/1
13. Joe Mauer – Did I say he was overrated in the preseason? I think I did, otherwise I was totally wrong for beating that dead horse for the last seven months. This is unfair, but no one ever said I had to be fair, so here’s some comments from my Mauer overrated post: “I get the downside, but there is a reason so many have him around 60th overall, because he has that potential (finished 63rd in 2012) and he has some upside with the position switch.” And then there was this classic, “While I agree that Mauer isn’t anything near a first rounder, to rank him 221 is lunacy and I think is partially just a way of trying to drive home your point that he’s overrated. Some players that you have ranked before him: Gattis, K.Davis, Rendon, Prado, Lowrie, etc. A.Escobar is 162, but somehow Mauer is 221. Yes, a SS that only once has topped 30 steals (22 last year), 57 runs scored, 4 HR, and a .234 batting average beats Mauer by 60.” Well, that commenter was right. Alcides was actually ranked a bit too low and Mauer a bit too high. Then finally we have, “I’m a huge fan of Razzball and have been reading for almost five years now, but this Mauer ranking (at 221) is just a tough one to understand.” Yup, he instead finished 255 overall. I was too optimistic. My apologies. Preseason Rank #12, 2014 Projections: 68/9/66/.304/1, Final Numbers: 60/4/55/.277/3
14. Miguel Montero – It’s good when guys line up close to their preseason ranking, not because it’s a mental fluffer for me, but so we can see their preseason projections vs. end of season and how far off they were for a similar ranking. Montero’s stats tell us, offense is like Lawrence Taylor –> in the toilet and no one is flushing. Preseason Rank #14, 2014 Projections: 63/14/68/.261, Final Numbers: 40/13/72/.243
15. Derek Norris – I didn’t rank him this past preseason, and I will have a hard time ranking in the upcoming season. When a team has seven catchers, I need something in writing that they plan on playing catchers at 2nd, short and every outfield position prior to committing to them. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 46/10/55/.270/2
16. Yasmani Grandal – How did OBPwulf end up in the top 20 catchers? Easy, he had a good September. Yes, one good month and you get a place in the top 20 catchers. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 47/15/49/.225/3
17. Tyler Flowers – The good news about his past season, he met previous expectations. The bad news, his expectations are pretty damn low. Preseason Rank #23, 2014 Projections: 41/15/50/.216/1, Final Numbers: 42/15/50/.241
18. Jason Castro – Now is good a time as any to point out that while a top 12 thru top 20 catcher doesn’t sound bad, it’s absolutely pointless except for stretches here and there. Preseason Rank #9, 2014 Projections: 61/16/79/.274/3, Final Numbers: 43/14/56/.222/1
19. Travis d’Arnaud – Unlike Tyler Flowers, whose average is being lifted by good luck with his BABIP (yes, even that crappy average is being lifted), d’Arnaud looks like he could get better in every facet of his game and build on this past year. It’s just the beginning for the d’Governator! Preseason Rank #16, 2014 Projections: 52/16/67/.260/2, Final Numbers: 48/13/41/.242/1
20. Kurt Suzuki – Member in March when I was annoyed that Josmil Pinto didn’t get the Twins starting catcher job? Let’s see if whoever replaces Gardenhire can right some past wrongs. I want my 40 acres and a Josmil! Preseason Rank #27, 2014 Projections: 48/7/54/.232/3, Final Numbers: 37/3/61/.288
