I’ll give the 2020 baseball season credit for this: it’s going to make us feel like it was 26 weeks. Illness, injury, and outbreak have not been in short supply. FAAB periods have been wild. Here’s my corner of the internet to help keep you afloat in this sea of change.

  • Turns out Craig Kimbrell is shot after all. Rowan Wick is the assumed closer now, though Jeremy Jeffress has a recent save and will be called on for high leverage spots, as well. There’s more strikeout upside to Wick.
  • James Karinchak did, in fact, eat a save opp from Brad Hand last week. Karinchak is going to have to show he can consistently control his wipeout stuff. But if he does…
  • Please, blog, may I have some more?

Roto-Wan is at the Jersey Shore this week, home to the iconic reality show of the same name. Much like the cast of misguided Jerseyites our MLB season is already riddled with disease. I won’t depress you with talk of how this kind of travel and interaction is a slap in the face of a contagious virus. COVID will do that enough. I’m here to try and catch up on the widespread bullpen carnage of this very early season. Hopefully, you headed my advice and discounted closers in your drafts. Now’s the time to plug those holes. You’ve got plenty of options. Unlike the guys that settled for going home with Snookie.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve only been loosely following the counterproposals MLB and the MLBPA are exchanging. Where are we at now, 200 to -38? How does a negative game take place? Only position players are allowed to pitch and only pitchers get to hit. You thought that was cute before, huh? It seems like the most likely season is 50 games, which would be wild. Stats like steals are going to be so very hard to manufacture. I’d suggest streaming rabbits against pitchers that can be run on from the jump, to be honest. Here are the worst pitchers when it came to stolen bases yielded per inning in 2019.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Much like the classic Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium (MECC) PC game, The Oregon Trail, we finish our bullpen parade out west. Apologies if the research in this post is light, I stayed up all night playing TOT on the Wayback Machine. Suck it deer, I shot so many of you I can’t even carry all the meat. Much like the game, your journey to saves accumulation is a series of decisions fraught with peril. Do your best not to die of dysentery. In this example, Wade Davis is dysentery.

AL East AL Central AL West

NL East NL Central NL West

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As pitchers and catchers report we’re beginning to be graced with some reassurances as to who certain teams will use at closer. Those are always nice. Just remember managers don’t feel beholden to what they say in February and situations can change. Not unlike myself and fellow analysts. “I don’t recall recommending Jose Leclerc as a top 10 2019 closer, Senator.” We’re all playing a guessing game. My best advice is to invest lightly and spread your exposure over as many arms as possible.

AL East AL Central AL West

NL East NL Central NL West

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I regret to inform you, my fantasy friends, that even fake jedi get the flu. That’s right, Roto-Wan is coming to you today from a Sudafed laced haze that would make Jesse Pinkman proud. Stop interrupting me pink elephant, I’m trying to get a preamble together here. At any rate, we’ve reached the NL in our bullpen previews. Let’s kick it off with the very in flux NL East. My advice is to exercise even more caution with these names than we usually do.

AL East AL Central AL West

NL East NL Central NL West

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We close out the American League bullpens with the AL West. It feels like all of these teams have something to offer either in closer speculation or high wattage non-closers. Remember the golden rule of the saves chase: don’t overpay for closers. Opportunities come if you’re active on the wire.

I didn’t realize how upset I was about the sign-stealing scandal until I started writing this. If you’re an Astros fan and I’ve offended your delicate sensibilities below, you can go and discard them along with your stolen championships.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh, hello random blog reader. I didn’t see you there. Don’t mind me, I’m just doing early offseason fantasy baseball research while listening to Rage Against The Machine’s “Bulls On Parade” on a loop. It gets me in the proper mindset to tackle bullpens. I generally find few fantasy positions that elicit more angst than relievers. Nevertheless, I’ve hit the double-digit mark on BoP and am feeling all kinds of weird. It’s the perfect place to dip a toe into choppy reliever waters. I’ve broken down the roles while unveiling my new “Razzers” rating system (base 1-5). Is this a ploy to trick search engine’s into redirecting users searching for Brazzers? Yes. Yes, it is.

Ok, now that you’ve returned to this tab from your incognito browsing session, the Pens!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is it still baseball season? I thought that ended two weeks ago. Oh, that’s just the volume of the NFL drowning out all other sports. We have seven days left, counting today (which has almost no games). To get you where you need to be in the stolen base department here are my favorite streaming options to gamble on for a steal. It’s like fictional golfer Gary Potter says, “You gotta harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness. Energy. Block. Bad. Feel the flow. Feel it. It’s circular. It’s like a carousel. Up and down, and AROUND. It’s circular. Circle, with the music, the flow. All good things.”

Please, blog, may I have some more?