Please see our player page for LaMonte Wade Jr. to see projections for today, the next 7 days and rest of season as well as stats and gamelogs designed with the fantasy baseball player in mind.

First, let’s stop to address our five female readers. Google analytics says there’s two mothers, and one is my mom — hi Mom! — and the other mother is one of our frequent commenter’s moms making sure I don’t use any naughty words. I’ll let you decide which commenter it is. Happy Mother’s Day to you, our lone mother unrelated to me. Hopefully your son was as filthy, in a good way, to you as George Kirby. So, this is what it’s like being in a league with Prospect Itch. Rookie is called up, I go to the waiver wire, Itch already has said rookie player and I grumble like Lisa Simpson. Rinse and repeat. This weekend’s grumbles were accompanied by me looking for Royce Lewis, Jarren Duran and George Kirby. In Friday’s Buy column, I went over Duran and Lewis (great comedy duo, by the way), but I was too optimistic on both, since Duran’s already been sent down and Lewis might not be far behind. That brings us back to George Kirby (6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks). His stuff: a triple-digit speedball that sits 102. Weird, I sit 101, but I’m talking traffic and on a freeway. Here’s Itch’s breakdown of Kirby, “His off-speed stuff is less impressive, but his double-plus command makes everything play up and turns the fastball into multiple pitches. If you know you can hit the inside corner or the outside corner to hitters from both sides of the plate, that soon factors into your thinking as two different pitches, strategically speaking. He’s 6’4” 215 lbs and puts it together in a smooth, athletic delivery that should help him stay healthy, in theory. His outcomes have been stellar at every stop so far. And here’s hoping Grey gets punched in the head.” What? C’mon, man! So, I tried to grab Kirby in every league. The command should help the avoidance of roofies, and the upside is real and it’s spectacular. Yesterday’s start made a patient team look dumb. Even the Prospectonator (projections for every rookie) is optimistic, and it’s never optimistic. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For 2022, the weekly SAGNOF piece will be focusing mostly on the neverending search for stolen bases. Every week I will help you, the reader, to parse the waiver wire and track down the next player who will underwhelm in all categories except for speed. However, now we are in the magical fantasy land that is the offseason, where everyone is going to steal 20 bases and your latest build is destined to be one that leads the league in stolen bases. Yet we, unfortunately, all know that won’t be the case.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve done it! We’ve reached the end of the fantasy baseball hitter rankings for 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. Give yourself a big round of applause. I’d clap for you, but I have carpal tunnel from actually ranking all the hitters and writing all their blurbs and calculating all of their projections and– What exactly did you do? Oh, yeah, you read them. No wonder why your hands can still clap. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Are the top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball good? How do you define good? Is good definable? Are you Plato? What is a Plato? Any hoo! This post goes on for about 1.8 million words, so let’s dive in. Here’s Steamer’s 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Hitters and 2022 Fantasy Baseball Projections for Pitchers. The projections noted in this post are my own, and I mention where tiers start and stop. Subscriptions are up and running, and you can already get Rudy’s Draft War Room. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2022 fantasy baseball:

NOTE: All 2022 fantasy baseball projections are based on a 162-game season, and will be until we hear definitively there will be less games, due to the CBA. Also, I’m going on the assumption the NL is getting the DH.

NOTE II: All my rankings are currently available on Patreon for the price of a Starbucks coffee, if you get one of those extra grande frappuccino jobbers. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out over the next month, and get them all now.

NOTE III: Free agents are listed as just that and not yet projected. Once a guy signs, I will write out their blurb and add in projections, or remove them, if they sign in an unfavorable place. They are ranked currently where I think they might be if they sign on for a full-time job.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Accidentally claimed Jose Siri in one league by holding down my iPhone home button, but, as I always say, it’s better to be lucky than good. Which is why I never learned how to drive, I simply rub a rabbit’s foot and go vroom vroom. If you Anglo’d up Jose Siri into Joe Siri, it almost sounds like you’re saying a Yo Mama joke to Siri, and if you’re saying a Yo Mama joke to Siri, you got some free time on your hands, huh? Clear schedule, you got. Here’s what Prospect Itch said of Jose Siri recently, “Siri seems unlikely to hit any better (than Myles Straw), but he has elite athleticism and good bat speed. Sounds a little like Adolis Garcia and any number of other forgotten nowhere men to pop from the upper minors and into our fantasy hearts. I’ve always liked Siri, and hate Grey.” Geez, man, c’mon. In Triple-A, Jose Siri went 16/24/.318. Yeah, I was surprised at how good he was there too. “Siri, please call Triple-A and tell them I have a flat tire.” That’s me after someone steps on the back of my shoe. For now, Siri is a fill-in for injured Astros’ outfielders (mostly Brantley), but they’re headed to the playoffs, so they might rest their guys a lot, which means playing time for Siri. If you need a guy who can fill all five categories, you should press your iPhone home button too. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re really coming down to the wire now with less than two weeks left in the season so it’s time to pull out all the stops and just go for it. Even though the season is winding down, there are still lots of available hitters who are heating up. Don’t let football distract you from the championship you’ve been chasing all season. You need to make your moves now and the guys below can help carry you there. Now go win that trophy.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

This is The Save Vulture Dance. Sing it like it’s The Electric Slide.

[spoken word intro]
The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles or gets traded and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. And if you don’t give up, or give in, you may just be okay…OKAY!

[lyrics]
Snap, snap, Giovanny Gallegos, Genesis Cabrera, Alex Reyes, claw, claw, save.
Save vultures aren’t reproducin’ cuz they’re uze overweight guys,
Preferin’ to watch sports highlights than listen to the girl they’re datin’. Sighs.
Snap, snap, Joe Barlow, Spencer Patton, claw, claw, save.
The save vulture’s claws are orange from Cheetos dust,
The orange reminds them of all that Orioles’ fuss.
Snap, snap, Cole Sulser, Tyler Wells, No One Because The O’s Won’t Win, claw, claw, save.
Teams that flipped their closers for prospects at the trading deadline and are now losin’,
They still haven’t figured out who’s closin’.
Snap, snap, Paul Sewald, Drew Steckenrider, Kyle Finnegan, Dylan Floro…*huff, huff, out of breath* …keep on going!…Anthony Bender, David Bednar, Carlos Estevez, Chris Stratton, Codi Heuer, Rowan Wick, claw, claw, save.
Guys who have just sucked and teams needed to look elsewhere,
Desperate, you look like Walter White in his underwear,
Snap, snap, Emmanuel Clase, Adam Ottavino, Johnny Lasagna, Andrew Chafin, Sergio Romo, claw, claw, save.

[spoken word outro]
Now ya know, if you need saves in the final month. [sax plays us out] Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaves. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Before the game, Kenta Maeda was getting a 2nd opinion on his UCL, which is always good news. If I were a 2nd opinion doctor, I’d just say, “Same,” and collect all those greenbacks. Actually, might not even need a medical degree to be a “Same” 2nd opinion doc. So, the Twins turned to one of their great young arms, Griffin Jax (4 2/3 IP, 9 ER, ERA at 6.29). Twins got Randy Dobnak from Uber, and Jax from Postmates. If Maeda can’t return, the Twins are gonna get a month subscription to Blue Apron. On the positive side of things, the Red Sox sent down Jarren Duran (well, positive after this). When the team wants to go with Travis Shaw (1-for-3 and his 8th homer) over you, well, there’s no amount of violins to play. You suck. The good news: Duran’s price is gonna be super cheap next year. Then, as Alex Cora continues to stupid-up the lineup card, leadoff man, Enrique Hernandez (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 16th homer, but the real star was Hunter Renfroe. He’s rivaled only by Austin Riley, Adam Duvall, Jorge Soler–well, all Braves–rivaled only by them for guys who get crazy hot, and he’s in the middle of one such stretch. He now has four homers in the four games, and, as Scooby-Doo would say, “Renfroe!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Burps for five minutes, then sloppily places a lei on a waitress. Unable to resist the primal urges of being drunk and a man, he leans in to kiss the waitress, but, before landing the smackeroo, two bouncers drag him out of the tropical-theme bar and grill. As he’s dragged by the elbows, he screams, “Your burgers at Islands suck!” A very somber Eric McCormack enters, and we see it’s a PSA. Eric addresses the camera, “This is what happens when you have too Manny Pina’s.” Yesterday, Manny Pina went 3-for-6, 3 runs, 6 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer. I’m really starting to come around on the idea presented by a commenter that said instead of drafting a catcher, you draft a team and get that team’s catchers. Like drafting a defense in fantasy football. Also, in this game, that was Kyle Hendricks’s worst nightmare (4 IP, 9 ER,, ERA at 4.15), Jace Peterson (5-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs) came a triple short of the cycle. Hendricks’s previous worst nightmare was getting caught in an elevator with a hungry Daniel Vogelbach. That’s every player’s worst nightmare. Moving on! The other big star yesterday was Luis Urias (5-for-6, 5 runs, 5 RBIs) hit his 15th and 16th homer, and I just added him to the Buy column coming later today. Pretty goofy that he’s only rostered in 30% of leagues. On the Player Rater, Christian Yelich is over two hundred spots lower in value than Luis Urias. Take me to the top of a 100-foot wave in Nazaré, Portugal and throw me into a barrel. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Before Lewis Brinson (3-for-4, 3 RBIs) homered twice (6, 7) on Wednesday, I wrote him up for the Buy column this week — which is available now on the Patreon. I had included him, because I saw recently that Lewis Brinson was hitting near-.350 in the last two weeks, and had hit some homers, so I was pumped to open his Statcast page to see improvement and! And! AND! Well, no, not entirely. He’s been better than he has been for Launch Angle, getting good wood on ball and xBA is up, but, damn, he still misses so much. If you lift balls with good wood–Wait, are we still talking about hitting? Right, right. Yes, good things will happen. Brinson is hitting balls as hard as Tatis, Verdugo, Story and Walsh. Clearly, great guys to be mentioned in the same breath, but they all make far more contact, and have three-plus times as many at-bats. This last few-week stretch has been great, but when I called him recently Byron Pennieston, because he was a poor man’s Buxton, it still applies. Of course, I’d still grab Pennieston in any league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Standing at a box that appears to be a dynamite detonator, we follow a thick black wire out of the box and down the road to its natural conclusion. At the other end, a mile down the road, the wire is in a cup of Hong Kong milk tea filled with boba. We realize now that was not a dynamite detonator but Grey wearing a box instead of clothes, and that wire was a mile-long straw to suck boba. Suddenly, I shoot up in bed, sweating, screaming, “Myles Straw!” Then, as I get my bearings, I mutter, “Wow, what a dream,” then boba starts dribbling out of my mouth. An animated question mark forms above my head and I ask, “Was it a dream?” So, speed is nowhere. Myles Straw is currently in the top five for steals in the majors, and he was just traded to a team that is running out the clock on its name, i.e., he can run every time he’s on base. Also, he’s the best fit for the everyday leadoff spot. So, you’re thinking, “Grey, you’re silly handsome, but if Straw, um, sucks — hehe, I made a joke — who cares if he’s leading off?” Straw doesn’t, um, suck. He’s a 60-grade hit tool guy, who could hit .280. Sure, he has no power, but you’re not grabbing Straw for power; he’s for speed, runs and potentially average. I love Straw! *sneezes* Sorry, I have hay fever. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?