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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”288417″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 23″]

“That guy does not look familiar.”  “Which guy?”  “That guy on the mound.”  “The Wade Miley fella?”  “Yeah.”  “Did he used to serve us coffee at The Blue Danube?”  “I don’t think so.  That guy’s name was Ronnie.  And he had dreads.”  “But he was white.”  “Yeah, Ronnie was a white guy with dreads.  He looked like he had a smelly undercarriage.”  “I don’t disagree.  So… This guy… This Wade Miley guy… He just looks so unfamiliar.  He just threw a 6 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks start against the Cubs with a 2.12 ERA.  Do you know him?”  “No, but ever since we were talking about a white guy with dreads I’ve wanted to sing Informer by Snow.” Wade Miley as an ace and Bumble profiles that read, “5′ 7″, 120 lbs., fitness model who loves cooking and cleaning and sex” are often very similar.  Expectations and reality don’t always run hand in hand.  Before picking up Miley, do me one favor.  Ask Edwin Jackson owners how the experience was owning him.  Though since they’re probably your competition they may lie to you.  Those bastards!  Maybe you can ask Jackson yourself since he’s probably on waivers.  Can Miley be lights out?  I suppose, there’s not much time left, but there’s nothing jumping out that says he’s suddenly a Cy Young contender.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Jays traded Roberto Osuna to the Astros for Ken Giles.  Basically, they traded headaches.  If the Jays and Astros wanted to do what was best for baseball, they would have Giles and Osuna step into a steel cage, right at the Canadian border, and whoever was able to get out, that would be who would continue on.  It can have lots of little Canadian touches too, like a maple syrup hazard and scaffolding designed by Bret Hart.  “Giles looks like he’s going to escape–Ooh, a Mountie greets him with poutine in the eye.  Would’ve thought he’d look out for that, but it never o’CURD’d to him.”  “Mean” Gene Okerlund with the pun!  I like this trade for both teams.  Your piece of shizz for my piece of shizz.  All trades should be this clearcut.  As for fantasy, Roberto Osuna should take over in Houston when he returns next week, but Hector Rondon had been pitching well (until his last outing).  Might not be Osuna immediately, but I’d imagine he gets in the 9th by his third appearance.  Pretty much same deal with Ken Giles.  Though, there’s a lot more emphasis on Ken with Giles.  Ken he?  I don’t know, but the Jays also have less desirable options, so I could see Giles getting saves even quicker than Osuna.  In most leagues, I’d grab both.  Or whichever makes it out of the steel cage.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Across the media landscape yesterday, people who vaguely know sports were giving hot takes like, “Cleveland lost their sports hero.”  “What do we hang on this LeBron sports banner now?”  “All Cleveland has left is the Browns, what will they ever do?”  I blame myself.  People don’t know baseball like they should.  That pains me.  What MLB was hoping for from Judge and Giancarlo is currently going on with Francisco Lindor (2-for-4, 3 runs, 7 RBIs and his 22nd and 23rd homer, hitting .298) and Jose Ramirez (2-for-4, 15th steal, hitting .298) and people outside of Cleveland have no idea.  Don’t worry, you’re not absolved of blame either.  I blame you, as well.  We need to shout from the rooftops at what these two are doing.  They are neck-and-neck in the top five on the Player Rater.  I can’t remember another time two teammates, who are hitters, were both in the top five.  (If you can think of an instance, hit me up in the comments.  I racked my brain, which is to say I placed my head on a video of a stripper’s rack.)  Together, they are worth nearly $90!  To swoop your pretty face back to the preseason, if your team added up to $260, you were at least working on even money.  Combined they’re worth more than a third of a total team!  Which one of them is going to end up worth more?  No idea, but this will be the greatest battle since Apollo-Rocky I.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And another one! After hitting two home runs on Thursday, Joc Pederson homered in his second straight game Friday night going 1-for-4, with his seventh bomb. That’s six homers in the past week while hitting .450 with nine runs, and driving in eight. Whoa, get off my Joc! Seriously, he’s mine! But he could be yours too, he was a BUY and Grey just gave you his Joc Pederson fantasy. To be fair, my Pederson fantasy involves a lot more heavy breathing, Mookie Betts and scented oils. I usually don’t like to cover a player who was just, just featured in another post, but the amount of times you see a player featured in posts in a single week directly reflects the urgency in which you need to pick him up. Joc is available in over three quarters of fantasy leagues (that’s more than half, folks!) right now and could be a 30+ home run hitter. That’s 20 home runs for your fantasy team from now until you ultimately win your league in September. Joc has historically been a good power source but typically streaky and a huge drain on batting average (career .227 hitter). Not the case this year as he’s slashing .272/.345/.523. According to Grey, “Some of my hotter buys…while wearing a thong… Joc is pretty sexy…” And that’s me completely misquoting portions of Grey out of context! You get the idea! Joc is hitting all the home runs. This is Rock’n Joc baseball at it’s finest! Somebody call Dan Cortese!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ending a relationship in fantasy baseball is often like a real-life break-up: emotional, sad, fraught with second-guessing… yet ultimately the best thing for everyone involved. Playing in the RCL writers’ league this year, where daily roster turnover can be a way of life, has reminded me how satisfying it can be to cut bait on someone who is just not treating you well. Yes, there is always the fear of seeing that person out and about with someone new, both having the time of their lives. But that still doesn’t mean you aren’t better off without him!  The gentleman that lately has been causing me the most stress in terms of whether or not we should stay together is Jose Quintana, whom I drafted in more leagues than I care to think about. It feels horrible to let go of someone you spent an early pick on, and since he had basically zero trade value I finally dumped him in my shallowest league, and it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Even though I have to think Quintana will improve (especially since his April and May were quite disappointing last year as well), I didn’t have time to wait around in a shallow mixed league. There was and will be enough decent pitching on the waiver wire that I’m not really concerned about replacing Quintana, even if he suddenly turns things around and pitching lights off over the next few months. In my deeper leagues, though, it’s a different story — I feel pot-committed to wait it out and hope things get better, especially since there’s little or nothing starter-wise out there available to replace him… but part of me wonders if I should have just sent him packing five or six weeks ago and never looked back. While I’m daydreaming about how satisfying it would be to dump all of my fantasy under-performers, even in leagues where there’s no way I can afford to do so,  let’s take a look at a few players who might be of interest to those of us in NL-only, AL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After hitting 6 HRs and stealing three bases with a .254 average in his first 17 games, Franchy Cordero (OF, Forearm Strain) has slowed down considerably hitting only 1 HR and stealing 2 bases with a .222 average over his next 23 games with a 30:9 K/BB ratio. With Hunter Renfroe returning and Wil Myers due back soon — I’m afraid it’s the guillotine for Franchy. Stash or Trash: I’d be thinking of trashing him unless you’re in a deep league with not a lot of options. Fill In: Daniel Palka (2.1%.) Palka has been filling in for an injured Leury Garcia for the Chi-Sox and has been doing pretty well lately. Who is Daniel Palka? He’s a former third round pick who hit 34 HRs in 2016 in the Twins AA and AAA program. He’s also a guy who hit 29 HR and stole 24 bases the year before that. What the hell? Why isn’t this guy being added in all leagues? Well throughout his minor league career he’s had a strikeout rate in the high 20% with a contact rate in the 60’s. So far this season in the majors he has 23 strikeouts to only 3 walks so he’s performing pretty on-brand. After an 0 for 8 start to his major league career, Palka has 26 hits in 85 at bats with 4 HR, 15 RBI and 2 SB. If you need help in deeper leagues take a chance on Al Palka.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Hope everyone’s well rested and had a joyous Michael Bay Day.  If you couldn’t be American yesterday, I hope at least you got drunk and ate a bunch of hot dogs.  As they say in Mississippi, Amurica, “Spelling’s for sissies!”  In honor of Amurica’s half birthday, I hope you put a hot dog in your fly and went up to a female reporter, then let Roger Clemens watch you have sex with his wife.  Amurica would’ve wanted it that way!  Trevor Cahill did his part of keeping Amurica as true as the red, white and blue underwear you wash once a year and shut down those Rays, who we know want to have Devil in their name.  Cast out their demons, Trevamurica!  Yesterday, Cahill went 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners (zero walks), 6 Ks, ERA at 2.25.  He’s never gonna give you a fire emoji of 98 MPH or even throw his fastball more than 45% of time.  He is throwing his slider twice as much as last year, cutting his curve’s usage, and after about 11 years in the league, it looks like its paying dividends.  His ground ball rate is over 60% and his walk rate is down to 1.8 with a 8.4 K/9.  What, you a rich man’s Dallas Keuchel?  I will call you, Dynasty’s Carrington.  I could see owning him in almost all mixed leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As Gerrit Cole’s weekly attempts to break the strikeouts per game record continue in Houston, the baseball world is left to wonder, “Wait what exactly did Pittsburgh get for trading this dude again?” Well, Bucs Nation got to see their return on full display Friday night, Joe Musgrove was dominant in his Pirates debut going seven scoreless innings allowing just five hits striking out seven and even added a hit and scored a run for his first win with his new team. Joe only needed 67 pitches to get through seven, throwing 50 of those for strikes and retired 80% of the hitters he faced on three pitches or less. He’s also the first pitcher to go seven innings with under 70 pitches in 10 years or something zzz. Enough with the stats, nerd! Tell me about the KAYS! Sure, Musgrove did not look spectacular in his rehab stint, and sure, the Cardinals offense is not the most menacing assignment, but the 25 year old RHP is formerly highly touted prospect! He had seven wins in 15 starts (109.1 innings) in 2017, but it’s the 98/28 K/BB rate that has got me doing the happy dance. ThasalottaKs! He’ll get a tougher assignment versus the Cubs next week, but could be worth a grab for that sweet, sweet upside alone. Remember, the Pirates traded Gerrit Cole for this kid! What do they know that we don’t!? I’d take a flier on Joe Musgrove anywhere I needed starting pitching help. I can see him becoming a reliable streaming option for me throughout the rest of the year. And that’s honestly one of the highest compliments I can give!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, baseball is back and the All Star break already feels like a distant memory, but it seems like there’s not really a lot going on in terms of the NL or AL-only waiver wire. With Jose Quintana, Sean Doolittle, Ryan Madson, we’ve had one biggish-name and two possibly impactful crossover players head to the NL, so depending on how your waivers work that may have produced a flurry of activity. Beyond those names, though, I feel like the waiver wire has been even thinner than normal in both the NL and AL only world. Perhaps a moment of calm before the storm as more trades/promotions go down, and it can be awfully difficult to predict how much real-life trading action there will be — and how it should impact one’s approach on using waiver priority, FAAB dollars, or whatever other method your league NL or AL-only league might use to acquire crossover players. (By the way, I should mention that I’m writing this on Monday and will not have a chance to edit it before it gets published, so if crazy flurries of trades, injuries, and assorted moments of baseball wackiness occur on Tuesday, well, that’ll have to be addressed next week).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Origin Story Alert!  In the Roppongi district of Japan, which sits between Chichibunomiya and Akabanebashi, lives a puppeteer named Goshi.  For his entire life, Goshi worked in the medium of strings and miniature clothes.  Sometimes, due to all the opium he smokes, he’ll forget where he left off one day and start new the next day.  Due to a three-year process of forgetting and starting anew, he accidentally built a puppet that was 75-feet tall and named it Marcell Ozuna.  The puppet simply went by the name, OZUNA.  Elsewhere in Japan, on holiday, Giancarlo Stanton arrived with his family and me in his suitcase (how I’m able to relay the story).  Giancarlo was marveled at everywhere he went, due to sheer handsomeness and size.  One Japanese man said of Giancarlo, “You are like Mt. Fiji of GLOW.”  OZUNA and Giancarlo remained on separate paths for many moons, until one faithful day when an explosion at a nuclear plant caused a giant lizard to emerge from the ocean.  That lizard’s name was Allahzilla, because it originated in the Middle East, according to scientists.  Armed with merely bats, Giancarlo (3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 22nd and 23rd homers) and OZUNA (2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer) beat back Allahzilla and the Cardinals while freeing all of humanity, and fantasy.  Thanks, heroes!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Early season DFS is tough.  DFS on the regular isn’t easy, but add in the uncertainty of playing time, crazy weather, early slumps, offseason adjustments, new teams, new teammates and there are a lot of extra factors.  It’s for this reason I tend to ease myself into the DFS waters.  I take it pretty slow in April while we let some data collect.  When May hits we can start ramping it up and really be ripping come June.  We’ve got three weeks worth of data to work with so far and Ivan Nova ($15,600) has been fantastic.  The strikeouts have been a bit lacking but it’s hard to quibble with a 2.25 ERA and a sub 1.00 WHIP.  If you are prone to quibbling, I’d point out that Nova is smack dab in the middle of the road for pricing today, allowing you to afford those sweet Coors bats we all crave.  Plus, I mean, come on, #RevengeGame, #EnoughSaid.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe it was the food poisoning I had yesterday, but I had a dream Toomgis, the AM/PM mascot, and I were driving around talking about September baseball.  It feels like half the teams are either resting regulars for the playoffs, or the other teams that are out of it are resting regulars to give rookies a chance.  Those are the matchups you need to capitalize on with starting pitchers.  By the way, Toomgis is so obvious a creation of stoned creatives.  It’s a collection of stoner food and Toomgis stands for ‘Too Much Good Stuff.’  Um, okay, but there’s an I in there.  Stoner creative, “Eye-shmeye, we just need to move on before I eat our prototype.”  One more Toomgis point, how is this not Colorado’s national bird?  Any hoo!  So, with this matchups point hidden amongst my fracking in on Toomgis, we have Jharel Cotton capitalizing.   In his first major league start, 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Jharel Cotton makes me think of Faye Dunaway in a heavy Southern accent saying, “I shall avert my eyes.”  Cotton showed good control in the minors, and solid Ks, but in redraft leagues, you’re more worried about matchups this time of year.  For 2017, Cotton idolized Pedro Martinez and I can see why.  He’s five-eleven soaking wet (but I’m not sure people get taller when wet).  He also relies on the speed of the fastball and the break of the change.  A change that might carry him to glory, as soon as next year.  In keepers, I’d be very interested.  For this year, go with Toomgis’ advice on matchups.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?