It’s actually really unfair that poor Stephen Strasburg still has the “Stressbird” moniker in these here Razzball parts, but old habits and nicknames die hard. [Sidebar: Plus I went to a music festival last week and wanted to use a title that keeps me in nostalgic, douchey concert-goer mode. (Side-sidebar: I saw Rodriguez, a musician I’ve loved for 30 years and never thought I’d get to see; I was one of that generation of kids in South Africa described in Searching for Sugarman, if anyone’s seen that. Think it’s on Netflix.)]. Strasburg has been lights-out for weeks, earning 1 run so far in September and 2 runs in August, after a whopping 4 in July. He’s facing the 25th-ranked, 3-game-losing streak Mets; the only Met who’s had real success against him is Yoenis Cespedes, who is out with an injury to one of his many legs, to boot (sorry). Of course Strasburg does cost a small fortune on FanDuel today: $11,300. If that’s too rich for your blood, I’ll explore some more reasonable pitching options below. Read on, MacDuffs!

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Adrian Beltre was promoted to the Dodgers the same year I moved to Los Angeles.  I distinctly remember listening to AM sports radio a lot that summer, and, man, did people in LA hate Beltre.  With justification too, he struggled for six seasons.  When he finally broke out in 2004 (48 HRs, .334), no one believed it.  If you would’ve told people in LA, Beltre would be a surefire Hall of Famer, they would’ve thought you were related to him.  This would be the same as now saying Nick Castellanos will be a Hall of Famer in 14 years.  Yesterday, Beltre went 1-for-5, 2 runs and secured his place in history with his 3,000th hit.  Good on, Beltre, may all your cheap beers and head remain untapped.  As for fantasy, well, doesn’t mean anything, but it’s a hat tip, while a hat pat is forbidden.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let me start this off by making one thing abundantly clear – Do Not Play Carlos Martinez in Cash. But, winning GPPs often requires the cliched attitude of “go big or go home”. Carlos Martinez offers you a pitcher with a 25.8% K-rate for $7400. Go take a look at all the pitchers in baseball with a 25% K-rate or higher. The cheapest they run you is $9000 (which is around what Carlos normally costs). In addition to being cheap, the fact that he is pitching at Coors Field will keep his ownership quite low. Peak Carlos Martinez involves a lot of ground balls (career 54.3%) and a lot of strikeouts, and you know what doesn’t care about Coors park factors? Ground balls and strikeouts. So you have a pitcher with massive strikeout upside, at a very low price, and who will be very underowned. While it’s entirely possible he walks 6 Rockies and gives up 6 runs in 4 innings, it’s also entirely possible that he gets you 10 Ks in 7IP and puts up just as big of a number as deGrom or Scherzer, and costs $3500 less. Is it the most likely outcome? No. But it’s an entirely plausible outcome, and if luck shines on you today, you’re looking at a massive edge in GPPs.

On to the picks once luck shines on me…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Don’t get me wrong, I love playing roto fantasy baseball. But as I look despairingly at my overflowing DL slots in my leagues, wondering whether I have the stamina to keep grinding away at this six-month marathon, this war of attrition, I’m reminded all over again why I also love DFS. DFS is the oasis you stumble into from the Roto Desert, just often enough for a little refreshment and to refill your water bottles, when your roto camels are so loaded up with DTD and DL’d players that their knees are buckling and your first-round picks are obviously so parched they haven’t had the strength to get more than 3 hits in the last week (I’m looking at you, Miggy). At the gates of DFS, Jose Altuve hands you a glass of champagne and says, “Welcome to Fantasy Island.” You walk in and the place is swarming with star players, just lying about under the palm trees, waiting for you so they can help make you rich. You can have any player you want (for a price, of course). Chris Sale? Sure! Bryce Harper? Why not! Mike Trout? Go for it, if you’ve got still got room in your salary cap! I feel like a kid in a candy store, getting to build the most fantasiest fantasy FanDuel lineup I possibly can. Sometimes that build is easy and sometimes it’s a challenge and sure, it doesn’t always work out, but you know what? You just shrug it all off and try again next time.

Here endeth my little ode to DFS; now let’s go ahead and sample today’s buffet at the FanDuel oasis.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot  for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If Atlanta rapper Young Thug were to re-release his song “Texas Love” this year, he’d probably change up the hook, instead rapping “If Texas love was a drug, you’d belong to me, Nick Pivetta.” Texas love is, indeed, a drug on Thursday’s FanDuel slate, as the Rangers take on Phillies starter Nick Pivetta at home in their wonderful hitter’s park. Pivetta’s got a 6.14 ERA in his three major league starts and has already allowed five homers in his 14 2/3 innings. To give you an idea about how much Stream-o-Nator loves the Rangers today, Rougned Odor ($2,900) is the second-best hitter on the entire slate for Thursday. And that’s not even considering his price, that’s his straight up raw output that SON expects. Nomar Mazara, Joey Gallo, and Shin-Soo Choo are all top plays coming in at a low price. You can legitimately just stuff as many Rangers as you can into your lineup, as SON expects production out of anybody who might start (except for Pete Kozma. Sorry Pete, the robot doesn’t account for grit.) Elvis Andrus, Delino Deshields…even Jared Hoying? You name him, because if Jeff Banister pencils him in on Thursday, he’s worth a shot in your lineup. After you get your fair share of Texas love, here are some more picks worth checking out…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, here we are gentlemen and five girl readers. Hmm, if I’m one of the five girl readers and I’m writing this [Jay’s Note: You forgot my mother.], does that mean I should only be addressing 4 girl readers? Or should I just stick with 5, since I’m certainly vain enough that I’ll be reading my own work once it’s published? Hold on, is “published” the wrong word since we’re talking about the internet, and does my use of it make me sound out of touch? Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, here we are: week 7! Most MLB teams have played around 40 games now, so we’re about a quarter of the way through the season. Have any owners just flat-out quit in your leagues? In one of my keeper leagues (which of course are a different animal than re-drafts when it comes to punting a season), there were several blockbuster trades over the past weekend… those “in the hunt” have definitely distinguished themselves from those who are “playing for the future”. Meanwhile, I have a few re-draft leagues where some owners are barely setting valid lineups. Does this happen in your league? And if so, do you care?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Brewers manager Craig Counsell announced Friday that after Thursday’s blown save, Neftali Feliz would be given a break from closer duties. Why are you like this, Craig? Do you not care about my fantasy team even a little? Feliz has blown just one save this season. Sure, he’s sporting an ugly 6.19 ERA, and 1.31 WHIP, and 4 losses but I didn’t draft him for his ratios! I drafted him for his those stinky, stinky saves. Mmmm. His eight of which currently leads my team! Regardless, Jared Hughes  (0.2 IP, SV (1)) notched the save last night for Milwaukee, but it sounds like ex-stuntman Corey Knebel will get the next chance. Corey is rocking a 1.00 ERA, 1.00 WHIP and 29/8 K/BB rate over 18.0 innings this season and seems like the most logical choice to replace Feliz mostly because Counsell mentioned Friday he’s been “outstanding.” That’s high praise from skip, folks! Hughes, Jacob Barnes and Oliver Drake could also see chances. This is not to say Feliz is out of the ninth inning role for good, but I could definitely see Corey running away with the job if he continues to pitch like he has been. If you’re looking for saves I’d add Evil Knebel everywhere, and if you’re looking for someone to jump over 20 mack trucks in a motorcycle, you might consider Bumgarner or maybe the another stunt guy.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In 2008, Eric Thames was drafted by the Blue Jays. At the very end of Spring Training in 2012, he won the starting left fielder job over Travis Snider (it was a fierce competition, but in our house, it was always Team Thames). It did not go well and by August 2012, he’d been traded to Seattle for relief pitcher Steve Delabar. (Steve Delabar who, now relegated to the Cleveland minor league system, was given an 80-game suspension for PED use this week.) Shortly thereafter, Thames took his talents and his fine, fine biceps to the Korean league, and the rest, as they say, is history. As a Jays fan, I’m pretty depressed about all this back-story (well, I’m Jays-depressed generally right now, TBH; the highlight of my baseball week was Chris Coghlan’s audition for the Cirque du Soleil), but I’m going to make myself feel better by building a whole damn FanDuel lineup around Eric Thames. I choose to believe that this Saturday is not the day he stops hitting, and this matchup versus lefty Jaime Garcia, at home in Milwaukee, is the gift that all mournful baseball girls (and boys) deserve. I’m slotting Mike Trout in as well and filling in the gaps around them both. Thankfully, there are also some good pitchers on the slate today who won’t break the bank.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Yasmany Tomas, Odubel Herrera, Nomar Mazara.  What do those players have in common?  Guys that were in last year’s top 100 outfielders post that made it out like this is Orange is the New Black and those guys were Taystee.  Only then Taystee got reincarcerated and brought with her that badass b*tch Vee, and Vee then started running shizz and that white ho, who the show was originally about that is annoying AF, started getting institutionalized with panty-selling and lez ho’ing and–Well, anyway, you get the point.  There’s not a ton of sunshine in this top 100 outfielders, but occasionally you do get glimmers of hope.  All the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link-ma-whosie.  As always, my projections and tiers are included.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball:

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Wade Davis hit the DL with a forearm strain.  Brooks Pounders was called up in a corresponding move.  Brooks Pounders is also my favorite AVN starlet.  This sounds ominous for Davis, a forearm strain is not good for pitchers.  A precursor for Tommy John surgery, they say.  They also chew Copenhagen and call everyone kid.  The one bright spot in this dark, gloomy sky is the backdating of the DL stint.  Maybe, just maybe, Davis will return right after the All-Star break, when he’s eligible.  Yes, he could only miss seven games from now.  That skywriter is trailing smoke behind him, writing, “Hope Davis.”  But maybe he ran out of fuel and was gonna write, “Hope Davis Will You Marry Me?”  In Davis’s place, Joakim Soria or Kelvin Herrera will replace him.  Kelvin is much better, so why ‘You must be Joakim’ at all?  That hard-to-quantify, harder even to justify outside of your own front office, closer experience.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?