The title was part of a special Simpsons that Kim Jong Il commissioned where Ralph Wiggum’s mouth is jammed shut full of Korean bean paste. Stupid American! Last year in 317 ABs, Shin-Soo Choo had 14 HRs and 4 steals while batting .309. Though, as I used to say to one ex-girlfriend, “Beware the small sample size.” Hmm… Maybe that’s oversharing. Choo’s last two months were a bit-torrent, to incorrectly use the slang of the kids. If you were to project Choo’s last year stats out over a full season with a full-time job, you get the wrong idea. He’s not a 25+ home run guy. The good thing (as of right now), he does have the full time job. In 2009, we should expect Shin-Soo Choo to have less power than he showed, but more speed. Think more along the lines of 20 home runs and 10 steals. To give you an old school, random idea of who to expect, Baseball-Reference says Shin-Soo Choo is most like Marty Cordova. That seems about right. Marty went 16/11 in his 2nd year of full-time duty… (BTW, A big, warm Razzball welcome to Marty Cordova as he Googles himself. Hope you’re wearing your SPF while you tan.) …I’d think Shin-Soo Choo could pull off about the same as Marty C. I’d put his 2009 projections at about 19/11/.280. Not Ryan Ludwick from last year as Berry said, but helpful. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Jason Kubel – Jason Kubel turns 27 in 2009. As David Copperfield might say, “That shizz is magical!” Kubel’s not going to win fantasy baseball’s most valuable player award in 2009. He may not win Most Valuable Twin in 2009, but he can give you usable HRs, Runs, RBIs and average. I see Kubel’s 2009 projections as 70/24/70/.280. No, that’s not incredible, but look at Jermaine Dye’s projections, 80/30/90/.275/3. Sure, Dye’s way more of a lock for those numbers than Kubel, but there’s still a place for Kubel, even if he only plays against righties.
J.D. Drew – Going from Choo to Kubel to Drew is like going from yawnstipating to boring to hated. Way to attract an audience, Grey! Drew may be injured by the time you read this, if so, disregard. If he’s not injured, he should be owned.
James McDonald – I prefer NL starters and love NL West starters. In particular, much love for Dodgers starters since they should have support. James McDonald may not be mixed league material, but he could get there real quick.
Adam Lind – Just when you thought it was safe to start your AL pitchers against the Jays. For this year, I like Lind better than Snider.
Matt Cain – I said somewhere that he could be better than Lincecum this year. And that’s me vaguely attributing a prediction to myself!
David Murphy/Marlon Byrd – I’m telling you this platoon can get you… See number 302/3.
Chris Davis – Okay, he’s sucking dog balls right now. Agreed. Are people panicking? Exploit the weak! He didn’t suddenly lose his 30/100 potential.
Fred Lewis – Beans don’t burn on the grill! Get up that hill, Lewis.
Manny Parra – I still have faith. It’s waning gibbous, but it’s still there.
A.J. Burnett – If you really think he’s going to throw 200 innings this year, you’re fooling yourself. You know what happens when you fool yourself? You end like that guy who eats a lunchmeat sandwich out of a Ziploc bag and thinks he has friends, then no one shows up at his karaoke birthday party. If you don’t know that guy… Lay off the lunchmeat!
Chris Getz – See a quarter of a centimeter below.
DeWayne Wise – These two suck. Don’t worry, Guillen will move them both down soon as he *pinkie to mouth* wisens up.
Mike Aviles – My preseason predictions for him are 80/10/55/.295/10 — Do you know how boring that is in actuality? You’re looking at three-quarters of a home run or three-quarters of a steal every week and a half to two weeks. Belch.
Aubrey Huff – I hate to sell low on people, but if you can find a sucker leaguemate who thinks last year can happen again. Unload the Huff.
Chris Ray – Outside of keeper leagues, drop this guy until he figures it out.
Bronson Arroyo – Carpal tunnel syndrome. Hampers his pitching and guitar playing. Two birds, one stone.
Edinson Volquez – I don’t own him in any league and I told you I was done with Volquez in the top 20 starters for 2009 post. He’ll have better starts than his Wednesday one, but he’s closer to a 4.25 ERA pitcher than a 3.50 one.
Joe Saunders – He looked great in the Opening Day start. He was facing the A’s offense. They’re not so good.
Alex Rodriguez – Rather than a Sell, this is more of a Hold. No, not because A-Rod seems like he would enjoy cuddling. A-Rod is aiming for a late-April return. Will he be the A-Rod from before the hip injury, but after his cousin was injecting him in the ass? Will he return to in medias res injection levels? Will he have a setback? Will he say the hell with baseball and join Madonna on her “Buff Old Ladies” tour of Africa? Do I even know what ‘in medias res’ means? Lots of questions need to be answered. But, guess what, Maverick? If you own A-Rod, you’ve already invested in the draft pick for him. You can’t go back on that now. So rather than selling him for a 4th round pick you could’ve just drafted instead of him, just hold him and hope he returns to form.