The Cardinals acquired Paul Goldschmidt for Luke Weaver, Carson Kelly and Andrew Young.  Or as they’re known in St. Louis, “Giggle, giggle, WUT.”  I’ll go over the “Giggle, giggle WUT” part of the trade after the lede jump.  As for Goldschmidt, Au Shizz was “aw shizz” until the beginning of June last year, as he hit .144 in May.  However, Au Shizz’s BABIP in May was .186, and his strikeouts boomed to 31.5%, because he was in an extended slump.  He still ended the season more valuable (33/7/.290) than, say, Freddie Freeman who played 162 games (23/10/.309).  Au Shizz still feels pretty risk-free, like you getting to the airport four hours before your flight.  At least less risky than your November charity pledge to go “condom free” or dressing as Jar Jar Binks for a Star Wars convention.  For 2019, I’m giving Au Shizz the projections of 102/30/105/.284/8 in 574 ABs.  He also scrambles up the Cards’ infield a bit.  Carpenter picks up his tools and screws Gyorko out of a 3rd base job, and Jedd’s on the wrong side of the Wong 2nd base platoon.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2019 fantasy baseball:

Carson Kelly – The catching prospect who was blocked by Yadier heads to the Diamondbacks, where the most knowledgable fans in baseball can exclaim, “We got the host of The Voice?!  Oh em gee, I need another jello shot, go ASU!”  If the Diamondbacks traded for Carson just so they could trade for Eugenio for the magical tandem of Carsenio, then I take back everything bad I’ve said about the Diamondbacks.  Now let’s bang that gong and shake our groove thing!  Kelly should be Arizona’s starting catcher, and he has a career line of zero homers while hitting .154 in 63 games, so, um, lowercase yay.  Nah, he’s actually not a total bust yet.  He hasn’t had a chance, and could get into 15 HRs and can take a walk, so, basically, he could be a top ten catcher.  I’m buying as a flyer.  For 2019, I’ll give him the projections of 52/14/59/.249 in 487 ABs with a chance for more.

Luke Weaver – The last piece of the Goldy trade I will cover.  (You can ask Prospector Mike about Andrew Young.)  Weaver has been pretty broken thus far in his career.  He’s thrown 233 IP and has a 4.79 ERA.  Of course, he has a 9.2 K/9, 3.89 xFIP and actually gained velocity last year.  He really needs to get his changeup working again, it was not last year.  He threw it almost 25% of the time and it was gross.  What’s grosser than gross?  Ice gross!  Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Any hoo!  Weaver is a 25-year-old with promise and I could see the very late flyer, but he needs to fix his command and change. For 2019, I’ll give him the projections of 8-13/4.23/1.34/154 in 164 IP.

Merrill Kelly – Diamondbacks signed this 30-year-old to a two-year deal out of Korea.  You know him, don’t you?  He was the guy who started the phrase, “Merrill, Merrill, Merrill, life is but a dream.”  *intern whispers in my ear*  I’m told this is not true.  Merrill began the phrase, “The more the Merrill–”  No?  That’s not it either?  Harumph.  By the way, the more the merrier, except when you’re paying for your own wedding.  That’s how that saying goes.  So, Merrill Kelly is a wash-out MLB pitcher who found success in Asia the last few years.  Yes, the Diamondbacks are trying to catch Miles Mikolas in a bottle.  So, samesies?  Not exactly, and not just because Mikolas has a dope-ass mustache.  Mikolas dominated Japan, Kelly pitched decently in Korea.  Decently is not dominating, in case that wasn’t clear.  Kelly feels like an okay bet for 190 IP, and maybe a 4.25 ERA, if he’s lucky.  For 2019, I’ll give Merrill Kelly projections of 9-11/4.36/1.33/141 in 185 IP.

Carlos Santana – Traded to the Mariners.  He was a part of the Jean Segura trade, but, since that happened late on a Sunday night, all the players weren’t yet confirmed, so the other parts of that deal were in my Robinson Cano fantasy.  Here’s a few lines from The Rime of the Ancient Mariners, “There once was a man from Nantucket, Carlos Santana and Jay Bruce are so bad they can suck it. Their 2nd baseman is Dee Gordon, since they won’t ever win.  If this year was a bunt, John Smoltz would f**k it.”  For 2019, I’ll give Carlos Santana the projections of 71/22/80/.232/2 in 543 ABs.

Anthony Swarzak – Was included in one of the deals the Mariners did, I’ve lost track.  I’m mentioning him now, because, with the shipping of Nicasio to the Phils, Swarzak is the closer as of right now.  Of course, you need to have the lead in a game for that to matter.  Since the M’s don’t seem done dealing and/or wheeling, I’m not projecting Swarzak yet. For all we know, Matt Davidson might be the Mariners’ closer by April.

Robinson Chirinos – Signed with the Astros.  You know why this move was necessary?  The Astros had to fill-in McCann.  Hehe.  Damn it, that never gets old (for me)!  If the Astros have a type at catcher, I’d say Uh-oh Chirinos is exactly their type.  Won’t play more than 115 games, will hit a decent amount of homers and not much on average.  For 2019, I’ll give him the projections of 44/20/68/.213/1 in 384 ABs.

Chris Owings – Signed with the Royals.  His career numbers are 31 HRs, 70 SBs and .250, which is also everyone’s 2019 projections for Adalberto Mondesi.  Hopefully, Mondesi doesn’t need 1960 ABs like Owings did.  As for Owings, I like him in very deep leagues if he has a starting job, but he doesn’t yet, so I’m gonna hold off on projections for now.

Pedro Alvarez – Signed a deal with the Marlins.  With Peter O’Brien, Alvarez, Brian Anderson and Martin Prado, Jeter has assembled the most DHs for an NL team ever.  Maybe because Jeter couldn’t play defense.  Ooh, burn.  I kinda like this deal for Alvarez’s fantasy value, if he can get playing time.  He’s the type that could hit 25+ homers in barely 100 games.  Of course, he needs to leapfrog all the other names I just mentioned, we’ll see before projecting him.

Patrick Corbin – Signed a deal with the Nats.  I guess that makes him *pinkie to mouth* Nat K’ing Corbin.  The Nats said this move would not preclude them from signing Bryce Harper.  They said this after Harper said, “You’re not signing me.”  Damn, Harper dropping truth bombs.  I’ll drop a truth bomb now about Patrick Corbin, I called him a sleeper last year, and he went out and had his best season of his career.  Any free agents out there want me to call them sleepers?  I will take less than your agents.  Actually, I’ll take whatever you’ll offer.  Free Jiffy Pop?  Done and done!  I often go the Saberhagenmetrics route with pitchers, i.e., if they have a good last year, I don’t love them next year.  Corbin, however, I still like.  He added an above average curveball, and had the league’s best slider.  These two factors helped a 90-ish MPH fastball be around the 25th best fastball in the league.  Play off of an intense slide piece and everything is better.  It’s kinda like how any song at a bar mitzvah is better after The Electric Slide.  For 2019, I’ll give Corbin the projections of 14-6/3.09/1.07/226 in 202 IP.

  1. Ante Galic says:
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    Grey!!!

    Excellent write-up!

    a. Thanks for your kind words yesterday about me being in Chad in Mike’s KC Royals spec report! Eye roll!

    b. Some interesting moves happening, thanks for the updates and the impact those moves might make.

    c. Is the warranty on my Huawei mobile phone still valid after their CEO was arrested? She still has her court case in Canada before extradition but what do you think of this idea I had?

    1. The boss had a meeting with Xi Jinping at the G20 summit in Buenos Aires or BsAs as it is colloquially abbreviated.

    2. Jinping says, hey man! Arrest that woman. I’ll be sending her over in due time.

    3. The boss says, ok man! Will do. Gotta say though, you still have bad old man Chinese breath. Thought you guys would have found a cure for that before dockless shared bicycles or high-speed rail but whatever.

    d. Mark Twain quote of the day for December 6

    1. [In Paris where he saw ladies doing the CanCan for the first time.] I placed my hands before my face for the very shame but I looked through my fingers.

    2. I used to worship the mighty genius of Michelangelo but I do not want it for breakfast, for lunch and for dinner, for tea, for supper and between meals. I like a change occasionally.

    3. In Genoa, he designed everything. In Florence, he painted everything. In Pisa, he designed everything but the old shot tower. And they would have attributed that to him too if it hadn’t been so off the perpendicular.

    4. In Syria, at the headwaters of the Jordan, a camel took charge of my overcoat while the tents were being pitched and examined it with a critical eye all over with as much interest as if he had an idea of gettin’ one made like it. And then, after he has done figuring out it was an article of apparel he began to contemplate it as an article of diet. He put his foot on it and lifted one of the sleeves out with his teeth and chewed and chewed at it gradually taking it in and all the while opening and closing his eyes in a kind of religious ecstasy, as if he had never tasted anything as good as an overcoat before in his life. Then my newspaper correspondents dropped out and he took a chance in that but he was treading on dangerous ground now. He began to come across solid wisdom in those documents that was rather weighty on his stomach and occasionally he would take a joke that would shake him up until he would loosen his teeth. It was getting to be perilous times with him, but he held his grip with good courage ’til at last he became to stumble on statements that not even a camel would swallow with impunity. He began to gag and gasp and got his eyes to stand out and his four legs to spread out. And in about a quarter of a minute, he fell over as stiff as a carpenter’s work bench and died a death of indescribable agony. I went and pulled the manuscript out of his mouth and found that the sensitive creature had choked to death on one of the mildest and gentlest statements of fact I ever lay for a trusting public.

    5. [For his readers back home] While it took Moses 40 years to cross the desert from Egypt to the promised land, the overland stage could have done it in 36 hours.

    6. When a boatman tried to charge me 8$ for a short sail on the Sea of Galilee, I understood why Christ walked on water.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      A. Haha, I didn’t mean literally! B. No problem C. Hmm, I think I need a brief update on how we ended up in China selling mobile phone cards to Jinping D. 6 — Ha!

      • Ante Galic says:
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        @Grey: Grey!!!

        Ga! Still no luck? Shakes fist at the sky!!

        Reading through I see a few typos. Sorry comes with the territory. (I wrote correspondents instead of correspondence.)

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No worries, we all have tipos occasionally

          But, yeah, no luck

          • Ante Galic says:
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            @Grey: Grey!

            Thanks man. I liked 5 and 6 for it. Will be going until about next Friday. Spoiler alert: could be cajoled into extending for another week!

            Cheers,
            Ante

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Haha, you have to go an extra week now!

              • Ante Galic says:
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                @Grey: Grey!!

                Lol, ok. Wow such cajoling!

                Cheers,
                Ante

  2. Wally Pipp says:
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    This was a terrible trade for arizona. I know goldy is a free agaent after the 2019 season, but you lose corbin to free agency, then you trade your best hitter to get luke weaver as a replacement? The catcher they got in the deal could easily flop. Arizona is going to be awful this year, im not taking any of them on my fantasy teams. Their current 1b depth chart is christian walker, thats it, and theres very little available at 1b in free agency.

    The rest of the team is nick ahmed, ketel marte, eduardo escobar, jake lamb coming off injury, steve souza, jared dyson, david peralta, alex avila.

    Peralta and escobar come back to earth. Im going to pound the under on total wins for arizona.

    • knucks says:
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      @Wally Pipp: Don’t you think them snakes maybe did the homework and got back the best package that they could for one of the best players in baseball? They need to prepare for the rebuild before they move to Portland.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Arizona is suddenly in sell mode, why? I’m not sure, same with M’s… Both teams were nearly in the playoffs this year and then they explode their teams, it’s crazy… If Arizona wins 80 games, I’m impressed

  3. Test Kitchen says:
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    Grey,

    I’ve been away for a while but my Phillies making some moves got me interested in baseball again.

    I’m in an 8 team OBP/SLG League where we keep 8 + 1 rookie.

    So far I am keeping:

    Freeman
    Manny
    Correa
    JD
    Soto
    Springer

    I am going to keep either Senzel or Alex Reyes as my rookie (he qualifies according to our rules).

    Which 2 should be my final 2 keepers?

    Scooter
    Nimmo
    Castellanos
    Corbin
    Buehler

    I think SP will be deep in the first 2 rounds of the draft so I’m not too worried about being shallow there going into the draft.

    So my two questions are: which Rookie should I keep and which 2 from that bottom list should be my final 2 keepers?

    Thanks! Can’t wait for January Grey!

    • knucks says:
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      @Test Kitchen: I effed up and commented below. But I thought I’d add in more about Nimmo. Maybe I was a little bit dismissive. I’d want to DRAFT him if I were you, so what diff does that make if you have a few guys on the bubble… seeing as how he was #76 on the Player Rater for OBP last year w/ 535 PAs (115 GS). As of now, he should enter 2019 as the starter with Conforto/Cespedes rounding out the Mets OF. So… I could see an argument for keeping Nimmo.

      Corbin And Casty OR Nimmo
      Prob not Scooter or Buehler. That’s kinda where my head is at.

      You have a bit of a tough call to make. And like I said I do look forward to Grey’s take, so thanks for posting today!

  4. bigbear says:
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    If the Cards couldn’t get more weaver out of Weaver, then what hope do the D-backs have? Mazel tov, Au Shizz!!!

    Good to hear on Corbin.

    If this fantasy baseballing doesn’t work out for you, you’ve got some potential with the rhymes!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      So true on Weaver… A truth bomb by bigbear!

      Haha, thanks!

  5. knucks says:
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    I’m in a somewhat similar 10 team league and found SPs to be a bit more devalued than I’d even expected. Last year I kept Robbie Ray and drafted Severino with my first pick. This year, I will NOT be keeping an SP.

    But with that said… I’d keep Corbin haha.

    I’m conflicted with your choices in bats and prob wouldn’t keep 2 of them. Scooter, Nimmo just aren’t moving the needle for me a ton, even though Scooter just had an incredible year and Nimmo is great for OBP. I’d like to lean Casty… but I’m pretty sure that Castellanos won’t be 3B eligible in all leagues, since he didn’t play there at all in 2018 according to baseball reference. And you already have 3 great OFs.

    And I’d hold Senzel.

    A few other questions/thoughts… do you have a MI slot for either Manny or Correa? Or are you thinking you’ll have Manny at 3B for 2019? How many OFs will you start?

    Not sure how much my comments help you, but I enjoyed flushing out my thoughts.

    Interested to hear Grey’s take.

    • knucks says:
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      @knucks: Fack. This is obvi @Testie Kitch

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ah… Yeah, was wondering how this was for me at first

  6. knucks says:
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    Test Kitchen’s comment has me looking at my 10 team OBP/SLG Roto Keeper that I had mentioned. We keep 5.

    Keeping:
    Machado
    Harper
    Treat
    Acuna
    Bellinger OR Rendon

    You lean Belly, like I do? I have the 7th pick for the draft. So I’m really hoping that Rendon is available to grab at that point. Regardless, I generally I seem end up owning Rendon and never keeping him. Usually able to get him in a trade at a lower price than his OBP league value in like May or so. That is my logic for tossing Rendon back out there. But I was bummed to see that Dave Roberts extension knowing that he might keep doing something silly with Bellinger that drives me insane.

    Here is what I think will be the best available, based off of team’s “expected” keepers. So I plan on them prob taken in the 6 picks ahead of me…

    Rendon
    Eugenio
    Snell
    Bauer
    Severino
    Thor

    So if that happens… worst case scenario I’m looking at taking a bit less exciting guy with my 7th overall pick like:
    Xander
    Ozuna
    Corbin
    Carrasco

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, Belly

  7. Tito Tortellini says:
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    Points league (BB=2pts, SB=2pts)

    Tommy Pham or Scooter Gennett

  8. Chris says:
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    Vlad jr. A. Rosario. Or. Baez. Paxton. Dynasty

    • Ante Galic says:
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      @Chris: Chris!

      VGJ side!!

      Cheers,
      Ante

  9. malamoney

    malamoney says:
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    If this post was written by the guy that just delivered my chicken and broccoli, he would have said, “Jedd’s on the WONG side of the Wong 2nd base platoon”… but that’s just me being me. Shame on me…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, shame on you indeed!

  10. Harley Earl says:
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    I’ve read that Weaver was tipping his pitches this past season and the Cardinals couldn’t figure out exactly what he was doing that tipped them. Not sure if that played a role but he was awful. Is this a guy even worth rostering in your opinion? He’s at the very end of my bench and probably will be cut when one of my prospects gets the call.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      He’s worth rostering as a last pitcher to see if he looks better in March/beginning of April

      • Gigorilla, aka Diamond Dogs says:
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        Round 22 in the NFBC, taken by Grey, as he sneaks another low risk/high reward SP that he has trashed all spring training, on the way to another first division finish.

        I have seen the light……..

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha, about time!

  11. Matty says:
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    As a Seattle-ite with no Mariners allegiance (Go Expos!) but an appreciation for their cheap tickets I’m hoping the sell-off isn’t just to clear up space for Harper and Machado.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I think your optimism might be misplaced, but I guess you never know

  12. Bitter Beerface says:
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    SPOILER ALERT: I’m taking the Tilde top-5 everywhere.

    (This is the closest article I’ve found to make this comment in my incredibly thorough search the last five minutes, *BELCH*)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I love an aggressive, Bitter Beerface!

      • Bitter Beerface says:
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        @Grey: CHEERS! Enjoy the Boba! Keep up the awesome work.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Thanks, Bitter Beerface!

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