My nearly 500 trips through the Razzball CMS have given me a pretty keen eye for my audience: you’re middle-aged, drive a car, and prefer the affordable things in life. “That’s easy, E-Dubya-Bee,” you say, “I’m here at Razzball in January.” A-ha! But there’s more I know about you. You come to Razzball for Grey’s writings, but use Rudy’s rankings. You once joined a league with touts and were in first place through August before you ran out of healthy bodies and finished out of the running. You watch Severance and see a little bit of yourself in all the characters, but your secret is that you’re most like Ricken. You’re a beer drinker at heart, but when you go out for sushi, you draw your finger down the sake menu before inevitably settling in for a Sapporo tall boy that you paid $7.50 for and think tastes like a Miller Lite. 

But that sake list — and let’s make sure you’re pronouncing that sah-kay like a cultured Razzball reader and not rhyming with “lake” like a FantasyPros subscriber — you wonder whether today’s the day you order sake. But then you see “Hot/Cold.” And you think back to your August fantasy baseball team. Why did I stack it with Twins, you ask yourself, thinking of the inevitable September cold streak that keeps EWB’s favorite team from the playoffs. The waitstaff arrives at your table and you forget the sake and you go with the ol’ can o’ brew. 

This is you reader. I know this because sometime in the next 8 weeks, you’re going to stare at the draft board and see “Roki Sasaki” and think, “Hot or Cold”? Friends, I’m here to approach that question with a bunch of hazy answers, and we’ll see if we can’t get you a hot pitcher for a value price.