Going to be a real quick analysis today. I’m in Nashville for a beer conference and surrounded by Taylor Swifties and bearded dudes. The fog has just lifted ever so slightly on my brain to the point where I can put this together. Hopefully, it helps as I have led readers astray with my hitters […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Wed 8/6
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | DET | OAK

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So far this season in Triple-A, Christopher Morel was going .330/.425/.730 with 11 homers and four steals in 29 games. That he was in the minors for the Cubs until yesterday would be the funniest thing if it wasn’t so sad. Not funnest, though Morel is a fun guy. You might be thinking, it’s not funny, who knows if Morel can hit in the majors. Please scream these letters at yourself in the mirror: A! He was a top 130 overall guy on the Player Rater last year. He was already good. In the majors. B! Christopher Morel aka Captain Mushroom was more valuable last year than Ketel Marte, Oneil Cruz, Ke’Bryan Hayes and Adley Rutschman. That was last year. Are A and B kinda the same? Yes. So what? C! There was barely a B and you want a C? Get out of here!. Not to get all stupid with prorating — “If you were to hear the song, ‘How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?’ and price every dog in every window, it would take you 37 years, 11 months and sixteen days.” Oh, shut up, Mr. Prorater! — But if you were to prorate Morel’s stats from last year, he was a 20/15/.235 hitter. That sounds just okay, due to the average, but, again, look at the guys he was already better than. I held my dog, Ted, up to my computer with the waivers page open to see if he’d lick the screen where Morel’s name was to see if he could hunt truffles. Instead, Ted licked Jose Abreu, so he was kinda truffle hunting because truffles are usually covered in sh*t. Depends on how deep your league is on whether or not you should find mushroom on your team for Morel, but he has solid speed and power, and shouldn’t be total shiitake. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I admit: I’m living in a massive contradiction. I tell y’all about pitchers who limit runs, but I’m a glutton for offense. I’ve been around baseball for the better part of three decades, and there’s nothing I find more boring than a 1-0 game. I know defense wins championships, but every time there’s a close play at the bag, I root for the runner. I get to be a part of the baseball blogging community, and I can’t say I have a true favorite pitcher from the modern era. I’m old enough to have watched Nolan Ryan’s farewell tour in person, and who was my favorite pitcher growing up? Jimmy Key. Efficient. No walks. Quick games. Favorite team? The Twins. Efficient. See ball, hit ball. Coming of age in Minneapolis, you could get a student ticket, a beer, and two hot dogs for $10. But that dang fortress of an outfield in the Metrodome — the trash bag in right field, and the plexiglass in left field — that was a nightmare for offense. Y’all remember Kirby Puckett jumping up the plexiglass in the World Series, don’t cha? Nah? Guess we gotta get those copies of This Week in Baseball transferred from VHS.

Enough about my youthful pining for Jimmy Key — a pitcher who cataloged nearly 2600 innings of MLB work while striking out fewer than 6 per 9. By my own algorithm, he’d be Tier 4. Tier 1 in my heart, but ready to let your fantasy team down, eh?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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“My wrist, well, guys and gals, chicks and *icks, you’re not gonna believe this, but, it’s 100%. My wrist is healed. It’s the best it’s ever felt. My wrist feels like Elton John during his imperial phase. My wrist is playing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, and people aren’t hearing crap, but they’re hearing a masterpiece. My wrist is Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, doing all kinds of crazy judo chops in the supermarket aisle, and people are believing it, and are riveted. My wrist is Ty Cobb without the racism. My wrist is perfect!” This was a quote from Alex Kirilloff this year, and last year, and the year before. He was called up by the Twins, and played 1st yesterday (1-for-2). Kirilloff has been struggling with wrist issues since 2021. Almost exactly two years ago, he tore ligaments in his wrist. Those are the worst kind of after-dinner mints. Why do we care? If he’s healthy, he’s a 40-homer hitter with a .280 average. Sadly, we don’t know if we’re ever getting the purported strong-wristed Elton John or a limp-wristed Kirilloff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to the month of May.  As the quote goes “All things seem possible in May”.  From a fantasy manager perspective, that is likely great news as nothing has gone to plan for your 2023 season.  Whether that is a demotion of a budding young star like Jordan Walker.  Maybe it is an injury that kicked you before you even started, like Jose Altuve.  Or simply it could be an investment not paying off, like Jose Abreu.  Many fantasy managers are glad to be running into May.  Speaking of running, we have a new leader atop our Top 100 hitters for the rest of the 2023 fantasy baseball season.  That guy is none other than Ronald Acuna Jr. who leads the league in stolen bases and has already amassed a combined 50 Runs + RBI.  All of this with a massive leap forward in approach at the plate with his strikeout rate dropping ten points to land below 15%. At this point, we could be looking at a 25 homerun and 50 stolen base season for the Brave.  Move over Trea Turner, the top spot belongs to Ronnie.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After a rough showing in Week 4, we bounced back last week. Our most helpful section has been the SAGNOF portion of the article because we’ve stumbled into some great closers over the last two weeks. Will Smith and Carlos Estevez are scattered across all my leagues, and this article helped me to make those […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We all have bad days. 

Weeks.

Months.

Years.

It happens. 

Nothing to do but peel yourself off the pillow next morning and try again. 

Just this week, my last day of classes for the year was a total shitshow. We had to squeeze in the last few speeches from the last few stragglers and foot-draggers. Didn’t even have time to say goodbye. Just four life-draining speeches then welp, that’s our time, see you around, maybe. So it goes. I’ll try to do something to prevent that next year. Live and learn. Then get Luvs. In case you keep shitting yourself in the clutch the way today’s featured players have been so far in 2023. 

Sitting next to me on the struggle bus is Giants LHP Kyle Harrison owns a 1.98 WHIP through six Triple-A starts. He’s walked 21 batters in 15.2 innings. Get this man some Dramamine. He seems dizzy from motion sickness. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?