Rudy loves him some Bryce Harper, but don’t we all (now)? The question on March 20th from Brandon Funston was, “(You picked) Bryce Harper, Round 1, Pick 13 … That’s about 20 picks higher than the brilliant (sic) minds that compose the Yahoo! ADP. Would you please tell our constituents why they are selling Boy Wonder short? What is a realistic best-case roto line for Harper in ’13?” Besides Harper, our team in F&F looks putrid right now, so there’s that. So There’s That, Part II: There’s More; Our ERA is at a one and WHIP is at a one due to Marmol and Axford crapping the bed, then asking us to sleep in said bed, but we own Verlander, so we should get better. In the podcast, Rudy goes over where he’d draft Harper now if he had the chance. SPOILER ALERT: It’s top five. We also go over some other hot out-of-the-gaters (Chris Davis, Dexter Fowler, Mike Napoli and Shin-Soo Choo), go over our Arenado fantasy in the spoken form after doing it in written form yesterday, and Rudy takes his metaphorical scalpel to Matt Moore and Clay Buchholz. “I will slice you!” That’s Rudy waving his metaphorical scalpel near anyone that badmouths the Stream-o-Nator. JB “Big Biscuit” Gilpin talks about Tony Cingrani. Also, Biscuit takes a moment to note that his preseason prediction that Ryan Dempster would have mixed league value doesn’t look so crazy now. Or does it, Overlord Grey? Did I just make a rhetorical question to myself or am I supposed to answer that? The Guru was supposed to join us for another addition of ‘Jam It or Cram It,’ but he got lost at sea on a Lobster Boat and had to be rescued by fellow Maine resident, Stephen King. We haven’t actually heard back from The Guru yet, but we keep getting emails from “Annie” who asks “Why did you Cram Jackie Bradley Jr.?” and “What type of paper do the Razzball writers prefer?” Quick note: Nick says to remind everyone that the NFL Draft Football Podcast will be posted on Thursday. Football’s the one they play with only their feet *checking notes* Yup, that’s right! Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with Rudy in eye black):
Please, blog, may I have some more?Learn more about our 2025 Fantasy Baseball Subscriptions!
The best daily/weekly player rankings/projections (hitters, starters, and relievers) for each of the next 7-10 days + next calendar week starting Friday. Kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.
I don’t have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!
Weekly Razzball news delivered straight to your inbox.
It is the end of April, so that must mean the Master Standings have arrived! (You can access this via the Leagues menu up top). Remember last season how embarrassed you were to finish 380th? Now that’s in the top half of the field! Congratulations! Mauledbypandas (Josh Hamilton’s Fake Stache – Cracking The WHIP) and Pops (Sin City Sinners – Modesto Nuts) are at the top of the heap with 105 points after four weeks of action.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Today is the first day of the next month in our lives without Giancarlo Stanton. If you want, I’m holding a candlelight vigil in the garbage can behind Stanton’s house. If you come, don’t make too much noise. We aren’t technically supposed to be there. The good news about his hamstring injury is when he’s limping away from us, it’ll be a lot easier to stay exactly 501 feet away. Before he’d backpedal and it was like we were doing the lambada with 501 feet between us. The bad news is I’m writing this post with tears. Hnfcsdcnnn. That was a big, stupid tear that got away from me. Short circuit my keyboard, tears. I plead with you, so I don’t have to continue. I wonder if I can seal envelopes with these tears. That would be turning lemons into lemonade, right? Ow, I just touched my eyes, and now these lemons are burning my eyes. This is the sourest injury news ever. Make the pain go away, alcohol! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Pitcher Profile: Tony Cingrani Gives Washington A Red Scare
April 29, 2013 | Pitcher Profiles | 115 Commentsby: JB Gilpin
Rookie sensation Tony Cingrani has been lights out since he’s filled in for an injured Johnny Cueto, allowing 3 ERs in his first 12 innings with 17 strikeouts. But with those dominant outings at Miami and at home against the Chicago Cubs, it’s not exactly like he was blowing away elite offenses.
This time out on a Sunday afternoon, Tony C would be facing one of baseball’s most dynamic lineups on the road. Relying very heavily on his power fastball, it’s been debated how long Cingrani could have success in the Majors, so I decided to tune in to his start yesterday and break down the rookie’s third career start:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
A forearm injury to Todd Helton has reshuffled the Rockies lineup and has opened the door to more playing time for Eric Young Jr. Our friend EY2 could be the poster boy for SAGNOF and fantasy owners have the opportunity to cash in on his increase in playing time, even if it is only temporary. Grey told you to BUY him in this past week’s Buy/Sell. Let’s take a closer look at the Rockies outfielder and how his speed can help your squad for at least the next week or two.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Me Gusto Rockienado Rookienado
April 29, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 849 Commentsby: Grey
It’s always about you, Rockie Rookie. Man, Rockie Rookie, you are set up to conquer the world and didn’t leave me sh*t! Like you own the whole goddamn country, Rockie Rookie. (Only funny in Lou Diamond Phillips’ brother’s voice from La Bamba.) Late on Saturday night the Rockies answered my prayers to fix my Mike Mostsuckass 3rd base shituation and called up Nolan Arenado. To make the move happen, the Rockies designated Chris Nelson for assignment. His assignment was to stop sucking. Arenado isn’t the answer to the world’s prayers for clean water and/or a toilet that sprays air freshener into your butt after you poop. He won’t end world hungry and/or make sure everyone can one day appreciate jazz so the people who do appreciate jazz will stop saying, “Aw, man, you just don’t appreciate jazz.” He’s pretty much Pacheco or Nelson with a little more power. Maybe 17 homer power with ten of those coming at home, but A) He has upside. B) He’s in Coors. C) There’s no C. D) The Rockies would be fools to call him up and not play him unless he completely bombs out. E) I don’t feel like going all the way back to A and re-reading, have I mentioned the upside thing? F) What about the fact he’s in Coors? Have I said that? Have I said there’s no C? So, right there, there’s six to ten (I didn’t count) legit reasons to pick him up in all mixed leagues. For serious, grab him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jam it or Cram it: Schmotatoes in the Outfield
April 28, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 91 Commentsby: The Guru
Guru confession #434: My brain is good at sports, but my body isn’t. Watch as I try to steal second running like Laura Ingalls through a field of daisies. Damn, its hard to slide in these bloomers. Thus, instead of preparing my Hall of Fame speech, I am here writing to you, my gooey friends. My brain seems to do its best sports thinking in two places: driving fast to work listening to Kenny Loggins “Danger Zone” and at work… listening to Kenny Loggins “Danger Zone”. The big boss, let’s call him Larry Tate, sent this memo out last week: There is no room for fantasy sports in the workplace. I replied: When is bring your fantasy team to work day? *high fives, chest bumps, Harlem Shake* I didn’t get a response back. Doesn’t he understand there are early games, rainouts, snowouts, trades to accept, trades to reject and Razzball podcasts to listen to? If he can have an inflatable girlfriend, I say I can have 16 fake baseball teams. Hhiigghhwwaayy to the Danger Zone.
*in the event this is being read by Mr. Tate: The Guru is actually Brian in accounting.*
Creeper Of The Week: Seth Smith Ith Tho Thexy
April 28, 2013 | Creeper of the Week | 51 Commentsby: Sky
There are certain things in this world that should be considered criminal. Bringing 11 items to a 10 item express lane is one of them. Breaking out your checkbook at said express lane would be another. Not having your gosh darned info filled out BEFORE they’re done ringing up your stuff would be another. Seriously, do you need to know the total before you sign it and put the date on it? Did you really need to know it was $23.42 before you marked ‘groceries’ as the ‘for’ section? And why you using checks, dude! It’s 2013! I don’t care if you have bad credit, it’s called a debit card or pulling out cash! But I’ll spend more if I have a card or cash. You do already now, jack-hole, you just do it slower and tick off everyone around you! Wow, that escalated quickly. Where was I? Oh yeah, things that should be considered criminal. Outside of unxpressing an express lane, a big no no in my book is letting a guy who hits third in the lineup of a team that currently leads the league in runs languish out in the FA pool. I’m here to talk with you about the lisper’s nightmare, Seth Smith, and how he can help you during week 5 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Minor Accomplishments: Week 4
April 28, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 82 Commentsby: Scott Evans
Twins fans might be in for a frustrating year at the big league level, but trust me, the future is bright in Minnesota. No other organization can boast such a high-profile pair of hitting prospects as the Twins can with Miguel Sano and Byron Buxton. Sano, who boasts raw power unmatched by any other minor leaguer, is simply on fire. The 19-year-old is hitting .370/.429/.765 with 9 homers in 91 trips to the plate with High-A Fort Myers. Meanwhile, Buxton, the 2nd overall pick last June, is having no trouble with his first taste of full-season baseball, batting .400/.524/.662 with 3 homers and 8 stolen bases through 82 PA. I went over my Byron Buxton fantasy the other week, in case you missed it. Judging by tools alone, these two are among the most exciting talents in baseball. The fact that they’re backing up their tools with such serious production on the field only vaults their stock to new heights — I’m talkin’ top ten overall for both. 2016 can’t arrive soon enough for Twins fans.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Deep Impact: I’m A Peacock! You Gotta Let Me Fly!
April 27, 2013 | Deep Leagues | 58 Commentsby: Jay
I really don’t want to spend much time on Endy Chavez. Which means basically two things. 1) I don’t think to much of the guy. 2) The Mariners outfield situation is bad. Really bad. Boy, wouldn’t it be nice if they still had a fourth outfielder that could play center and have some pop? Granted, they could have claimed Casper Wells, after the either previous DFA’s this past week, but pride goeth before a fall, or so they say. Well, now that I’m thinking about it, if I’m going to talk about Shelley Duncan and Don Kelly in previous iterations of this series, might as well make Chavez feel right at home. Hitting 269/308/367 for his career, that’s basically who he is. But he’s getting at-bats, so he’s filler if you need it. And if you need filler like that, bless your heart.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Anibal Sanchez was amazing last night, pitching 8 innings and giving up just 5 five hits with a whopping 17 strikeouts against one of the league’s best offenses. Sanchez has never looked dirtier. Filthy even. I was hoping Manager Jim Leyland would send Sanchez out for the ninth to try for 20 Ks, but Anibal was pulled after 121 pitches. Leyland said he needed Sanchez in the dugout to bum a cigarette. No, Sanchez doesn’t usually smoke but he was on fire last night and always has a spare menthol for Skip. That kind of know-how and pedigree was why I owned Anibal everywhere last year, so of course I don’t own him anywhere this year. I must give it up to our fearless leader, Grey, for coming up with that headline. I almost went with “Bell of the Anibal” or “A Boy Named Anibal.” And those are just terrible. But things are really clicking for the Boy Named Anibal. I once knew a boy named Sue. He got in bar fight with Commodus and Reese Witherspoon, and Reese played the “Don’t-you-know-who-I-am!?” card and everyone got arrested. Well, if you didn’t know Anibal Sanchez before last night you better know him now. 17 STRIKEOUTS! Great Anibals of fire! Sanchez’s previous high was 14 Ks, but he now holds the Tigers record, which has got to peeve Justin Verlander a bit. Relax JV, you had Kate Upton, let Sanchez have this. His new home in Detroit has been good to him. No one wants to win more than 14 games for Jeffrey Loria anyway, right?
Please, blog, may I have some more? Two-Startapalooza — Week 5
April 27, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 97 Commentsby: Scott Evans
Did you realize that there was an epic breakthrough in the world of baseball analytics this week? Well, it happened! We did it! On Thursday, Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson joined Brian Kenny on MLB Network’s “MLB Now”, offering his thoughts on these newfangled sabermetrics. According to Hawk, WAR, and VORP, and OPS+, and all other products of science and reason fall short of his fresh new statistic — something he calls TWTW, or “The Will To Win”. Evidently, Hawk understands how to quantify this unmeasurable attribute, and he truly believes it is the most telling component of player evaluation. You can check out the video here, but most importantly, please make sure you apply Hawk’s lessons to your two-start browsing this week. Before you grab one of these guys off waivers, ask yourself: Is this a TWTW guy, or is this a non-TWTW guy? We only want the TWTW’s here. Choose wisely.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball.com and the Razzball logo units are copyright Razzball LLC.