*takes flight to Nepal, goes sherpa shopping, finds one that I like, but hears it’s sold out, lowers head, then finds out there happens to one more of the sherpas I want in the back, smiles wide, follows the best sherpa in the world up the side of Mt. Everest, reaches the apex, looks around, and screams*
LET’SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS F*********************** GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Sherpa sticks out hand for payment. Me patting pockets, “Do you take Venmo?”
MLB lockout is over. Can I get an amen? Can I get some amen in stirrups?
MLB lockout comes to the end can I get a WOO? pic.twitter.com/WL4RUB9Uc9
— Razzball (@Razzball) March 10, 2022
So, Opening Day is April 7th, and Spring Training will begin on March 13th. Hey, that’s in two days. I better hurry up! By the time you read this, there might be a flurry of free agent moves. Free agents better flurry up! How long do we have to wait to hear Carlos Correa to the Pirates. Dot dot dot. To help move Ke’Bryan Hayes to the Rays for Brett Phillips and cash considerations.
All doubleheaders will be nine innings again, and regular extra-inning rules return. No more runner on 2nd to start an inning. No ghost wins, no ghost runners, they’ve de-Scooby-fied MLB. Let’s go to MLB headquarters for how it all went down:
“We’re live, watching MLB finalize their latest proposal. Let’s go inside the room to take a peek! ” The door opens, Jerry Reinsdorf reaches his hand out of a coffin, and makes a thumbs-up motion. There it is, folx!
“We can’t play with the shift! It must be banned.” — That’s Joey Gallo in a wig and mustache outside the MLB owners’ hotel. Sadly, Joey Gallo is going to have to wait another year. Shift ban and pitch clock were pushed back until 2023. MLB did listen to baseball purists about the universal DH and said a’la Stephen A. Smith, “We don’t care.” The universal DH is here to stay. Shame that we won’t see pitchers swing wildly at pitches in the dirt anymore. Well, except in Colorado where Bud Black will never be able to figure out the DH. “Someone can hit who isn’t playing the field? Is this sorcery? Next thing you’re gonna tell me is I can bat Sam Hilliard every day.”
Ya know what kinda annoys me? That I couldn’t patent my ketchup bottle that doesn’t fart? Yes, but not that. What annoys me is I knew four months ago there would be a full season, because there wasn’t anything that earth-shattering in this CBA. Heard from multiple people that players just don’t like to report in February so they didn’t want to do a deal before then anyway. Also, everyone knew the universal DH was coming. I said all this in January when I started my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. I was confident in all of that. Yet — again with some stank — YET, they still gave me a heart attack every day for the last two weeks! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this preseason for 2022 fantasy baseball:
Adley Rutschman – Nathan Ruiz, an Orioles beat writer said, “(Baseball’s CBA) reported proposals thus far don’t seem like they’ll do enough to motivate the Orioles to have Adley Rutschman on their Opening Day roster. They might even encourage the opposite.” I will now cackle like a hyena for the next fifteen minutes. Service time manipulation is the cockroach after the nuclear war that stands up wearing sunglasses and flips the middle finger to the expired world. Honestly, I don’t know if the O’s will move quicker on Adley or not. My guess in the top 20 catchers for 2022 fantasy baseball has him starting in the minors, and nothing changes yet. In the new CBA, top prospects who finish 1st or 2nd in their league’s Rookie of the Year voting will receive a full year of service. Teams that promote top prospects to the Opening Day roster will also be eligible to receive draft picks with a Top 3 ROY or Top 5 MVP/CY finish. Does that incentivize teams enough? Don’t know. Feels like if teams were motivated previously, then they will be again. Spencer Torkelson and Bobby Witt Jr. are on the short list to start year with the team. If the list gets longer, then Adley appears on it.
Ronald Acuña Jr. – As mentioned in my Ronald Acuña Jr. fantasy yesterday, I moved Tildaddy up in my top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Not changing it now that baseball will return only a week after it was supposed to originally. If he only misses two weeks, he’s well worth that new draft pick. I am so glad I didn’t go through the trouble of changing all my projections when Boyfred said they were going to cancel games.
Ranger Suarez – Unlikely to be ready for Opening Day, due to visa issues. That sounds like a major problem when you play at Citizens. So, this sounds minor, and I haven’t changed Suarez in my top 60 starters for 2022 fantasy baseball.
Greg Bird – Signed a minor league deal with the Jays. Welp, looks like Vlad Jr. will be platooning.
