Logan Morrison was optioned to Triple-A New Orleans.  Easy to say he was demoted because of his struggles since the All-Star break, but what fun would that be?  He just started to hit again — 4 for his last 11 with a homer and steal.  As Fredi Gonzalez and Dan Uggla before him, Logan’s run out of town by the Han-Man.  Easily having his worst season, it’s pretty incredible the nerve Hanley has putting his full 5-hour energy drink towards getting rid of Morrison.  Billy the Marlin would like to demonstrate the size of Hanley’s cojones.  I imagine Logan won’t be down in New Orleans longer than a couple of weeks so don’t do anything rash in deep keeper leagues.  Hopefully Morrison doesn’t take a bath in that French-influenced city.    Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Brian Wilson – Out with a back pain.  A back issue sent him to the DL in April, so if this a recurrence it could be trouble with a capital beard.  Romo would be the first option out of the bullpen but he has a tender elbow — I always prefer al dente.  Next up, Affeldt, who’s voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, but he’s a lefty so the Giants might just go with matchups as they did yesterday turning to Ramon Ramirez aka Ram-Ram.

Brandon Belt – 2-for-4 with two homers as he returned from the minors.  Now he’ll be A) Sent down again. B) Played regularly. C) There’s no C.

Ryan Vogelsong – 7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA now sits at 2.47.  This comes after his last start when he was hit hard by the pennant-contending Pirates, who are now 13 games out of 1st.

Doug Fister – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 13 baserunners, 5 Ks.  A Twisted Fister got rocked.

Nick Markakis – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 12th homer.  Sparkakis!   I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this was his best game in three years.

Kevin Gregg – 0 IP, 4 ER.  Kazaam!

Eric Thames – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in the last three games against Ervin and Haren.  Worth giving Thames a look if you’re power starved.  Or parved, if you’re into portmanteaus or flattened bread.

Jose Reyes – No timetable for his return, i.e., no ticky; no tocky.  The only reason for Reyes to play is to prove to the free agent market that he’s healthy, which is a pretty sizable reason so I imagine he’ll try to get out there for September.  Or Boras might put on Dan Aykroyd’s Jamaican costume from Trading Places to play in Reyes’s place.

Freddy Garcia – Scratched from his start after he cut his finger during a kitchen accident.  He said he was making his Choochie lunch and the recipe called for fingerling potatoes.

Edwin Jackson – Left yesterday’s start with a hamstring injury.  No word yet how long he’ll be out.  We’ll wait to see if we get an up or down on the Jackson pollex.

Johnny Giavotella – 1-for-4 with his third steal in the last three games.  If you need steals, I’d take him into the smush room.

Dan Uggla – Had his hitting streak snapped.  Was this the longest hitting streak ever for someone who started their streak with a sub-.200 average?  Where’s Tim Kurkjian’s crack team of voice-cracking interns when you need them?

Tommy Hanson – To the DL with what the Braves are calling “We should’ve listened to Grey last week when he said to place Hanson on the DL.”  Hanson will probably return at the beginning of September and have another three weeks of starts in his arm, just in time to break down in the H2H playoffs.

Carlos Guillen – To the DL with a wrist injury.  His wrist said, “Oblique, hip, back, hamstring, tonsils… They’ve all taken turns DL’ing us.  It was my turn.”

Jason Marquis – Out for the year with a fractured fibula.  No lie.

David Hernandez – Got the save yesterday because of an overworked Putz.  Hehe.

Franklin Gutierrez – 1-for-3, hitting near .450 over the last week.  Not sure how long he’ll last on my team, but I just grabbed The Big FraGu in one league.

Jesus Guzman – Out for last two days with an injured elbow.  He should be proud that even a minor injury would warrant (RIP) a mention.

Cameron Maybin – 1-for-4 with his 31st steal.  Here’s a sneak peek of next year’s February Grey, “Maybin went 10/40, which is better than dozens of outfielders that were taken before him, and the year before Andres Torres and Angel Pagan were similarly valuable only to flame out in 2011.  So don’t throw out the outfielder with the bath water, but keep your expectations in check.”  And that’s me foreseeing me!

Dontrelle Willis – 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 1 K.  Left the game with pain in his forearm.  Seems a lot more like a pain in the neck.

Jay Bruce – Hit his fifth homer in the last week.  Pray to your deity of choice that Bruce stays hot from now until the end of September.

Brandon Allen – 3-for-4, 2 runs and a RBI after being recalled on Saturday.  Not sure why he wouldn’t play every day, but I don’t think he will.  Instead, he’ll probably share time with CoJack which will hurt both of their values in AL-Only leagues.  Though I guess it could be said they were hurting their own values with this shizzy hitting.

Carlos Zambrano – Threw at Chipper on Friday, which got him ejected, then he went into the locker room and retired from baseball.  Not sure how this hasn’t happened yet, but Big Z needs to be in the WWE.  He can go by the name, The Big Loco.  His finishing move can be The Locomotion.  His ringside manager Ozzie Guillen distracts the ref and The Big Loco pulls a baseball out of his tights, yells out “Choo-choo… Locomotion!” and skulls his opponents’ head.  After he gets the three count, The Big Loco stands up to jeers and flashes his green tongue.  The only thing that can stop him is when an opponent brings a Gatorade cooler ringside which totally distracts The Big Loco, throwing him off his game.  Or if the opponent shows up ringside with Michael Barrett.  Please, WWE, make this happen.  On a side sidenote, you know how when a female is in the news for all the wrong reasons, she’ll then get a call from Hustler to pose nude?  I imagine it’s like that for men and the WWE.  So, if you ever get a call from the WWE or Hustler, I don’t know what you did but it’s ridiculous and not in a good way.

  1. jonnycat says:

    I’m done wth Fister.

  2. Joe Mama says:

    Morse just became available in my 10 team, H2H league. Here’s my offense:

    C – McCann
    1B – Teixeira
    2B – Lawrie
    3B – Longoria
    SS – Hardy
    OF – McCutchen
    OF – Stubbs
    OF – Jennings
    Util – Konerko
    DL – Han Ram

    Would you make a move for Morse, and if so, who would you drop? Thanks!

  3. vilhelm says:

    Funny you should mention Boras playing in Reyes’s stead. Boras actually does have some talent. This is a TRUE story about Boras.

    Once when Boras was watching Damon and Arod take batting practice against Clemens, he mentioned that he wasn’t a bad hitter himself. So his clients challenged him to show his stuff against Clemens. Boras was eager to impress them and maybe pick up Clemens as a client too. So he stepped in the batter’s box looking real menacing like a pro.

    Arod and Damon were impressed, but Damon said “Dang, look at that closed stance. Looks like Boras knows something about baseball afterall.” Arod said, “Yea, but too bad it’s not the KILLER closed stance. I guess you can’t expect an amatuer to be able to do that.” Damon responded “huh?”. Arod said “You know, when the batter stands with his feet in both batter’s box ready to uncork and send it to the moon.” Damon: “oh yea, the KILLER closed stance.”

    Well Boras overheard the conversation, and wanting to impress his clients and prospective client even more, adjusted his stance, with a foot in each batters’ box, with his ass fluttering in Clemen’s direction.

    Clemen’s was taken aback, but, heck, legal stance so sent a blazing fastball right down the middle.

    Remember when Boras opted out of Arods’ contract during the late innings of the World Series?

    Bpras had to prove he still had’em.

  4. ruah says:

    On one team, I ended up with BA killers Reynolds and Pena. Are Allen and/or Belt good pickups for either them or is their PT too inconsistent?

  5. BlinkULDHC says:

    @Joe Mama

    What the???

    How in the hell is Mike Morse available in your league? Even in a 10 team league with 9 offensive spots in the lineup, I don’t think Morse should be available, especially if he has 1B/OF eligibility.

    I’d definitely drop Jennings for Morse if Morse has OF eligibility (which he should, with 27 G, 24 GS).

  6. BlinkULDHC says:

    Lo Morrison was definitely being cryptic about the possible reasons why FLA demoted him, and I don’t think it’s baseball related or even Twitter related.

    My money’s on LoMo having walked in on McKeon giving himself the ol’ choke n’ stroke (autoerotic asphyxiation for you fetish noobs).

  7. WDE05 says:

    My HanRam for Cueto & Sandoval trade was looking pretty damn good after HR hit the DL a couple of days ago. Its looking even better now that I pulled off a trade just before the deadline a couple of hours ago, sending Cueto away for Josh Hamilton. My outfield has really been hurting so hopefully Hamilton 1) stay healthy and 2) gets hot down the stretch.

  8. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:

    Who on earth traded you Hamilton for Cueto, and can I please sign up in that league? haha

    Something to watch for this week:

    Bumgarner’s fastball velocity is down about 2 MPH in his last four starts. His slider/cutter has increased in velocity by about 1 MPH. I don’t know if he’s trying to make his four-seam, two-seam and cutter all about the same speed, or if his arm is tiring, but it’s something to look out for. For what it’s Wuertz, his velocity climbed last year as the season progressed.

  9. BlinkULDHC says:

    The fantasy baseball gods are making damn sure that I never have the chance to set The (or my) Greatest Lineup of All-Time.

    I traded for R.Weeks… who literally got injured the first and only day I started him (out 4-6 weeks). I’ve got Jose Reyes and ARod alternating DL scheds, too.

    Just pleeeeease give me September with this lineup intact:

    C Alex Avila
    1B Prince Fielder
    2B Rickie Weeks
    3B Alex Rodriguez
    SS Jose Reyes
    OF Matt Kemp
    OF Justin Upton
    OF Curtis Granderson
    UTIL Nelson Cruz
    UTIL Michael Morse

    I can only use ONE DL spot (A-Rod) — which means I’ve got to let 2 live roster spots rot away (no DL for Weeks, Reyes). I’ve got R. Roberts at 3B (for ARod), and I’m literally getting ZERO STATS from 2B and SS right now, since I’m still “starting” Reyes and Weeks.

    It’s H2H, and I like maxing out my pitching by carrying 6 closers and 7 SPs, giving me a good shot and winning SV, W, Ks every week…. that’s why I’m not dropping pitching for 2B/SS subs.

    That means I’m starting 8 hitters against 10 hitters. Even with no 2B & SS last week, I managed .355, 42 runs, 12 HRs, 34 RBIs, 6 SBs to sweep the hitting categories — I couldn’t even imagine what output I’d get if I inserted J. Reyes, Weeks and ARod into the lineup.


  10. Jack of Spades says:

    Is Nolan Reimold a good speculative add in deeper leagues if you are in a runs battle? I figure as long as he is in the leadoff spot its worth a shot. The Orioles may do something stupid like last year and play really well when it doesn’t matter.

  11. SpecialFNK says:

    yahoo, roto, 15 team keeper league where we keep 4 and 1 must be a pitcher.
    we don’t need to decide until after the season, but who could potentially be top 4?
    the pitcher is Felix Hernandez, and I’m for sure keeping Adrian Gonzalez.
    need to pick 2 from..
    OF- Jay Bruce, C- Carlos Santana, SS- Jose Reyes, 2B- Dustin Ackley, 2B/3B- Brett Lawrie.
    winning now is always top priority and I’m not looking to build for the future.
    there is also the potential of trading after the season with draft picks to get a better spot in the draft if someone else wants to use a player as a keeper.

  12. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    can anyone tell me what happened between Han Ram and Lomo?

  13. Commish Cauda says:

    the Big Loco…I am literally crying at my desk…too funny

  14. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:in a 10 team 8×8 h2h keeper league,I was surprised that Belt was still available.Is there something I might have missed about him,a reason he may have been downgraded-besides the way the Giants have been f-ing w/ him all yr,yanking him back and forth(non sexually of course)?….

    I know the power numbers probably wont be there as long as he’s hitting in that park,but do you still consider him a legitimate,middle of the order type?

  15. Wilsonian says:

    LoMo dropped in my 16 Team H2H…do I drop Moreland for him?

  16. golfnut says:

    Hi Grey……

    Chris Young and Howie Kendrick have cooled off the last month to say the least……do I drop one of them and pick up Ryan Roberts for some runs?

  17. Scott says:

    Yesterday was my league’s trade deadline in my 14 team, dynasty league. I’m rebuiliding for the future, so made a bunch of moves. How did I do in each?

    Trade A: Traded Dan Uggla, Matt Joyce and Austin Jackson for Pablo Sandoval, Jair Jurrjens, and a second round pick (which will be a top 100 prospect)

    Trade B: Traded James McDonald for Dee Gordon and Grant Green

    Trade C: Traded JJ Putz for a first round pick (a top 50 prospect) and a third round pick (will be a fringe top 100 prospect)

  18. Buddo Chezuski says:

    can’t believe the Aykroyd Trading Places comment! Saturday I was at a bar and in walked a guy with a real legit african outfit and I kept saying to my buddy “Its me, Lionel Joseph!!”

  19. Graveyard Duck says:

    Grey, what do you think about starting Shields at Boston tonight?

  20. Mzyptlk says:

    H2H playoffs on the horizon. Did you once write a column on how to play them? They’ve proved tricky for me and I’m hoping you could repost that column or at least impart some strategical (not a made up word) moves our way. Thanks Grey.

  21. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:could you rank these guys for UTL spot,12 team 5×5 h2h?….


  22. Ed Nugent says:

    constanza or fragu?

  23. Scott says:

    Pick two of the following to pickup for dynasty league where I’m looking to the future: Ian Desmond, Chris Davis, Eric Young Jr., Nolan Reimold, John Lannan

    Just looking for talent to help me down to line, so positions don’t really matter, just wondering which two are the best

  24. Scott says:

    (ADDED JED LOWRIE TO THE LIST) Pick two of the following to pickup for dynasty league where I’m looking to the future: Ian Desmond, Chris Davis, Eric Young Jr., Nolan Reimold, John Lannan, Jed Lowrie

  25. Graveyard Duck says:

    Also … what do you think about dropping Eduardo Nunez for Eric Young? Ten team 6X6 H2H, thanks!

  26. L-Boogie says:

    Which 2 should I start this week in 12 team, 5×5:

    Danks vs Tex
    Norris vs Cubbies
    Harden vs Tor
    Kuroda @ Col

    Thanks dude.

  27. All over The Big Loco concept. Perhaps Big Z goes masked? The standard Mexican colorful yet traditional ring gear complimented with an extravagant hood (ala Mil Mascaras). Add the shirt Grey! “Choo Choo Locomotion!” Maybe tag team with Milton Bradley? If not baseball, hope that we do get to see more of him in some capacity. Maybe the Cubbies trade him for Zito, or PLEASE to the Mets for Bay? He’s sure to go loco in Queens! CHOO-CHOO… LOCOMOTION!”

  28. Adam says:

    @Grey and everyone

    H2H weekly pts league. Only get to start 4 SPs, so having 1 of them get blown up and give negative pts can severely hurt my chances of winning the week.

    I’m starting Sabathia @ MIN, Greinke vs LAD, and Luebke vs NYM + vs FLA for sure.

    Who would your last pick be?

    Kershaw @ MIL
    Marcum @ NYM
    Pineda vs TOR + maybe @ TB (if they don’t bump back his 2nd start)

  29. Adam says:

    Also, with Youk’s back problems in mind, who would you play this week at 3B? Him or Lawrie?

  30. Dr. Zach says:

    In a points league, looking to improve upon my slumping Killer R’s- Rios and Rasmus. Won’t be keeping either of them btw.

    Which do I drop for Bourjos (7 games this week- 3 LHP- all at home where he excels) or Duda (the line drives keep on coming and now some taters too)


    Doc Zach

  31. Eng says:

    Any faith left in Abreu, or better a one trick pony like Bourgeois (who never seems to play) or maybe the Belt for homers?

  32. DjLanceRauch says:

    Gaby Sanchez is killing me! Should I dump him for Kotchman or Mcgehee, or just hang tough.

  33. Wilsonian says:

    Do you think Dunn has any Big Donkey-ish production down the final stretch that could help out in a utility spot in a 16 Team H2H?

  34. zzzzzz says:

    Got offered Ellsbury for my Castro. Auction league Ellsbury will be $16 next year to keep and Castro $11. I don’t really need another OF but seems like a good deal. I got Andrus and Kipnis for SS/MI if I trade Castro away. Make the deal?

    Also, looking for a SP pickup. McDonald, Lilly, Cecil? I’m thinking Cecil @OAK this week.

    Thanks again Grey!

  35. L-Boogie says:

    Trade advice. 12 team, 5×5. I need AVG, SBs, and RBI (in order of priority)

    I was offered his Granderson for my Bruce and Ubaldo.

    If it was offered last week I probably would have made the deal. But with Bruce’s recent onslaught…

    Due to some crafty trades, my pitching staff already includes Cliff Lee, Hamels, and King Felix to go along with Kuroda, Danks, Harden, and Bud Norris. So Ubaldo is slightly expendable.

    I tried to counter with Swisher/Werth and Ubaldo but no dice. It seems AVG and RBI are pretty much a wash. Are Grandy’s added SBs worth it?

    Thanks dude.

  36. franknbeans says:

    @zzzzzzz: since u already have two middle infielders i would def make that trade

  37. John says:

    lol, was that a Jani Lane reference?

  38. Salty Balty says:

    Do you think that Tim Stauffer has a few more decent home starts left in the tank? Someone just cut him in a 14 team league and I’m desperate for pitching.

  39. yo grey!

    Belt or Boesch moving forward?

    (this team counts OBP and XBH)

  40. Wilsonian says:

    What do you think about Raburn in a deep league now that Guillen has yet another injury?

  41. L-Boogie says:

    So since I’m now holding onto him, which 2 would you start this week in 12 team, 5×5:

    Ubaldo @ White Sox and @ Detroit
    Norris vs Cubbies
    Harden vs Tor

    Thanks dude.

  42. microwave donut says:

    I wanted to dress up like Jamaican Dan Akroyd from Trading Places for Halloween last year but was afraid I would get beat up.

    I need a black friend who can be the Cameroonian (sp?) Eddie Murphy, that would be safer, and funnier. We can do the dance and he can yell “BEEF JERKY TIME!”

  43. hanram's a douche says:

    Which 1 SP has best shot for most points this week:

    Hellickson: v. Sea
    Kennedy: @Phi
    Cueto: @Was
    Masterson: @CWS

    The top 3 are all pretty close in my mind – who would you roll out there?

    Oh, and Bailey over Perez at RP?

  44. royce! says:

    Delmon Young to DET for Cole Nelson and a PTBNL. Opens up more time for Revere. How does it affect DET? Does it cut into Boeschs playing time?

  45. Jim says:

    Pick 2, ROS:

    Swisher, Willingham, Kubel

  46. C.O.C. says:

    Who’s taking Hanson’s spot?

  47. Might the move to Detroit cause Delmon to start sucking less? Perhaps a better option than other 5th OF types like Rios, Thames, Damon and Juan Rivera?

  48. The Sequential Hermaphrodite says:

    Would you drop Boesch to activate Shin Shoo Choo from the DL?

  49. larry says:

    Better spot start today:

    Millwood vs. Fish – good chance for win
    Porcello vs. Twinkies – Owns Twins but shelled last outing
    Dickey vs. Friars – Pads road weary?
    Westbrook vs. Pirates – Walk machine?


  50. jack says:

    Kipnis or Bphil this week? Also which closer to leave on bench this week out of Putz, Nunez, Walden and Valverde?

  51. Wilsonian says:

    Drop Espinosa for George Constanza? Need speed and hits.

  52. FishMan says:


    Sneak a lineup question in? NL only – need everything. Jesus Guzman, Seth Smith, John Jay or John Mayberry for Utility this week?

  53. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:10 team 8×8 h2h(TB’s,XBH,OBP)….Boesch or Bossman?

    I know Im losing the SB’s,but Boesch has better or equal numbers in every other category.

  54. Derrick says:

    Start Gio tonight @home vs. Balt.?

  55. Steve says:

    Feel a bit sorry for LoMo, but if he’s getting sent to the minors over these things, he’s probably better off toeing the line.

    But what about those Marlins? Up with the play or what? I bet McKeon was suspicious of the telephone too when that was invented.

  56. AL KOHOLIC says:

    whats happened to howie kendrick

  57. Steve says:

    Delmon says “how ya doin’ Detroit?”

  58. larry says:

    Lifer Halo fan. Effing Howie and his short legs! 40k’s to 8 bb’s last 2 months! Cripes….. anyhow how do you see Kipnis, Howie, Prado and Lawrie ranking coming home.

    thx again

  59. Steve says:

    Panda out of the game. Fouled one off his paw.

  60. Steve says:

    Jesus Christ. An RBI double from Morneau. WTF is the world coming to?

  61. Trevor

    tggq21 says:

    Buccos up on STL (black n’ yellow, black n’ yellow)… Jose Veras (who)????

  62. lopes says:

    giovatella (or whatever his name) better than boneface right now? and is kipnis and guzmans injuries serious at all?

  63. Steve says:

    Henderson Alvarez needs to get his shizz together.

  64. Wilsonian says:

    Sale over Rauch? It sounds like Sale and Santos are in a bit of a closer by committee approach.

  65. Steve says:


  66. WDE05 says:

    Lawrie with his 3rd homer. Really wish the Jays would move him up in the lineup so all of this damage he is doing would result in more RBIs. Kid has been legit thus far.

  67. Steve says:

    Screw you Nunez.

  68. Lopes says:

    And is jj hardy done? Pissing me off that he seemed to have stopped producing…

  69. EG says:

    Lawrie or Carp? Thanks.

  70. Robert says:

    @Grey: what do you expect from Randall Delgado vs a Giants team w/o Beltran and Panda?

  71. Colin says:

    Hey Grey,

    I need to beef up for the stretch run. I was offered in my NL-Only:

    I get:


    I give:

    E. Young, Jr.
    Edwin Jackson

    It’s a dynasty keeper league, but I am neck and neck with 2 others. Should I do it?

  72. Lopes says:

    I’m only asking cause Hardy’s been 0-13 in the past 3 days

  73. Mike says:


    Who Would you start I got 2 DH spots and i got 4 guys rotating in and out and when LoMo comes back ill have five i got


    And i just recently snagged M.Moore of tampa bay in the minors top pitching prospect do you think he will get a couple starts this year?

    And i got 4 relief pitcher

    What 2 would you start????

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