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Jimmy Rollins looks like he’s headed to the DL with a Grade 2 calf strain.  For those non-doctors out there, that’s a calf strain that starts to learn its times tables.  It hurts to lose your 2nd or 3rd round pick, but you don’t have many options here.  You can’t sell him low.  Assuming you need a little pick me up after getting *pinkie to mouth* decalfeinated, some MIs that are out there are McGehee, Furcal, Desmond, EverCab and O-Cab.  They provide different things, but I like them to varying degrees, in that order.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Adeiny Hechavarria – Say that name fast one time!  The Jays signed the 21-year-old Cuban defector.  Defect had more going it against than any other word, yet the Cubans turned it into a positive.  Sorta the same journey the word “special” took, but in the reverse.  Hechavarria probably won’t be called up until the end of this year at the earliest.  Not simply because no one can pronounce his name.  (For those perfectionists out there, it’s Ah-THEY-nee Eh-CHA-bah-ree-ah.)  (BTW, I always use the spellchecker when typing perfectionist.  Discuss that amongst yourselves.)  He’s still very raw, but in time they are likening Ah-THEY-nee to a young Alfonso Soriano.  Not sure if “they” are saying a young Soriano means a Latin 21 or a Latin 25.  I’d look at him in keepers, but league depth has a lot to do with your sitch.

Ricky Romero – 8 IP, 2 ER, 12 Ks as he threw a one hitter.  Whenever I hear this guy’s name I think of Prince’s Batdance.  Stop the press – who is that?  Ricky Romero!  The problem with Romero up until this year is he’s struggled with walks.  So far, doesn’t seem like this is an issue.  He gets the Angels, Rays and A’s next (not at the same time; that would be crazy).  I’d absolutely take a flier on him to see if he can continue his new trends.  I do think it might be a bit miragey, but grab now and ask questions later.

Kevin Gregg – Got the save.  Gregg has looked exceptional.  That’s weird.  Frasor was used on Monday so Gregg was used on Tuesday.  I think if the Jays would just stop winning, then Frasor would be the closer.  If that makes any sense.  Okay, I’ll try again.  If the Jays win every third day, Frasor gets most of the saves.  These back to back ones?  Frasor and Gregg will be used.  So if you’re really hurting, grab Gregg.  Then again, Frasor’s being outpitched by Gregg.  Just own them both for right now.

Brad Hawpe – Hawpe’s day-to-day with a quad injury.  First Carlos Gonzalez comes up lame, now Hawpe.  Not to get all Professor Plum on you, but where was Seth Smith during all of this?

Seth Smith – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and a HR yesterday.  While CarGo and Hawpe are nursing injuries, I’d grab Smith.  Just don’t leave your drink unattended near him.

Akinori Iwamura – Hit his 2nd homer yesterday.  David Ortiz has zero homers.  Cust kayin’.

Drew Stubbs – 0-for-5 as the Reds scored 10.  Ticker tease!

Doug Fister – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners.  This start was more an indication of the A’s offense than Fister’s pitching.  Also, conversation overheard at my house yesterday.  Girlfriend, “Grey, what are you watching?”  “Fister ‘n the A’s!”  Girlfriend, “You’re disgusting.”

Brian Matusz – 7 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 Ks.  He actually looked better than Romero.  Very impressive outing.  Three of his earned runs were inherited baserunners Johnson let score.

Jim Johnson – 1/3 IP, 1 ER and the blown save.  A consequence of SAGNOF and being quick to waivers is you end up grabbing a fill-in closer then they explode in your face too.  Johnson may suffer from Scott Downs’ Syndrome.  Don’t let go of Mike Gonzalez yet.

Brandon Webb – Played catch on Monday and the D-Backs are hoping for him to return June 1st.  If you’ve stashed him on your DL, I’d look to trade him around May 31st.

Chris Young – Says he feels no pain, it’s just tightness.  That’s what she said!  Wait, he said it.  Damn!  Young should be back as soon as he’s eligible to come off the DL.  I’d stash him on my DL.

Jose Guillen – Hit another homer yesterday.  Now has like a bazillion homers in the last three days.  Probably won’t hit a bazillion more, but it pays to find out.

Brian Bannister – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks.  Don’t even think about it.  I see you!  Stop.  Move your cursor away from picking him up.  Slowly!

Ryan Perry – He’s a Holds machine.  That is all.

Cliff Lee – The Adverb threw a bullpen session and eyes the beginning of May for his return.

Erik Bedard – The Mariners hope Bedard returns by the end of May.  Decent DL stashee, but it wouldn’t shock me to see him come back, throw 5 to 7 games and then get hurt again.  That’s how he do.

Milton Bradley – 2-for-4, HR yesterday.  Last week, he gave the middle finger to the fans.  This week, there’s still time left.

Clayton Kershaw – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks, 8 baserunners, 5 BBs.  As Vin Scully said, “Kershaw was fighting the strike zone from right after the anthem.”  He threw 110 pitches and only 59 were strikes.  Should be BBershaw.

Ian Kennedy – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 9 baserunners.  He gets the Padres in Petco next time out, I’d hold him for that start.  Kennedy’s problem really is ill-timed homers.  Every 30th pitch hits a grassy knoll in the outfield.

Krispie Young – 2-for-4 and a walk!  You should grab him, might be breaking out.  Walking for Krispie is a feat.  Pun unavoidable.

Ervin Santana – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 7 Ks, 13 baserunners.  Definitely wasn’t all magic with Ervin.  I’m ready to deploy my parachute and lose this guy, but I think it’s only fair we give him a non-Yankees start to see what he can do.  He gets the Blue Jays next.  You want Grey to own you, Ervin?  Get your shizz together.

Mike Napoli – Maybe Crapoli gives away the pitches because he’s so dramatic with his hand movements.  You know those Italians.  When Napoli flicks his chin, it’s-a gonna be a fastball.  Either way, Napoli’s clearly the backup.  Lose him in all but the deepest leagues.  Even with a full-time job, it wasn’t like he was winning you your league.  What’s the difference between Napoli and Snyder with full-time at-bats?  5 homers?  Vernon Wells already has that many.

Brandon Wood – 1-for-3.  He got a hit and a walk in the same game?!  C’mon!  Seriously?  I’m really surprised Scioscia hasn’t benched Wood, but I guess this is Scioscia’s modus operandi.  Call up and send down prospects for three years until they don’t know if they’re coming or going, then when they’ve finally given up all hope, play them.  Watch closely when a prospect moves close to Scioscia.  They flinch.  Scioscia and prospects are like Michael Vick and dogs.  Scioscia is the biggest prospblock.  /rant