Javier Vazquez heads to the Yankees. This should help the Yankees contend for a division– Oh, wait. They just won the World Series. Well, this should help a rotation that struggled– Oh, wait, they have Sabathia, Burnett, Pettitte, Joba, Hughes and now Javier Vazquez. Vazquez has already done the Yankee thing, putting up 14-10/4.91/1.29/150. Also, that was in 2004 when Vazquez was coming off incredible years that were broadcast in French Canadian. Deja vu all over again. Right, Yogi? Only this might not feel like deja vu for Vazquez, but one of those cases where he’s mumbling to myself, “I’ve been here before, but this time the fences seem like they’re in closer and there’s a giant, industrial grade fan behind home plate.” Alas, Javy, it’s the Stadium Adjacent to the House That Ruth Built. With 99.9% of my 2010 rankings in the bag, I had placed Vazquez in the top 10 for starters. Was looking forward to drafting him as my top pitcher. Now, not so much. I’ll probably drop him out of the top 20 completely. Don’t really want anything to do with him anymore unless he drops pretty far in 2010 drafts. When Vazquez’s 2010 season is over, Suzyn Waldman may not be the only one crying. Anyway, here’s some more signings, deals and other offseason moves for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Phil Hughes/Joba Chamberlain– With the addition of Vazquez, Hughes or Joba head to the bullpen. This will be a spring training decision. Whichever guy ends up in the rotation will have value as a fifth fantasy starter. Yesterday, I flipped a coin and it said Hughes. Today, it says Joba. There’s reasons for and against both.

Melky Cabrera – Melky… Cereal, baby. Melky do what he do. Rock a most awesome first name and a threat for 15/15. As he did in New York, Melky will have to deal with a crowded outfield. Melky, doode, get traded to the Pirates. They’ll play you! Melky will probably platoon a bit with Dye-as, occasionally spell McLouth — M-C-L-O-U-T-H — and start some in right. In NL-Only leagues, Melky’s a great late flier, but you’re going need a bench hitter to slot in when he sits. If he nails an every day job out of spring, he’ll be a 5th outfielder in mixed leagues.

Jason Heyward – I already went over my Heyward fantasy, not going to rehash those potatoes. Melky doesn’t kill Heyward’s potential — no one can kill that shizz — but when you move a veteran into a crowded outfield, it usually means someone’s getting squeezed for time. I still wanna take the flier on Heyward in 2010 fantasy drafts just in case he gets the every day job. This will be a spring training call, as well.

Garrett Atkins – Over to the Orioles. Member how the O’s fans hated Melvin Mora? Yeah, me neither, but I’m assuming they did. Atkins won’t quiet that dissent. If Atkins’s bat slows any further, it’ll start to look like he’s bunting every pitch. Last preseason I wrote, “(Atkins has) gone from 29 to 25 to 21 home runs since 2006. If you were taking the SATs, the next number in that sequence would be 17.” Well, missed that SAT question as he hit 9 homers. Calling Coors home. Um, pass.

Troy Glaus – To the Braves. Glaus will play 1st base in 2010. 30 homers and a .270 average aren’t out of the realm of possibility for Glaus, but health is always the issue. Maybe him and Chipper can go halfsies on some ginkgo biloba.

Matt Capps – Looks to be headed to the Nats to close. Aside from a 2009 that looked almost as ugly as Precious’s Dad — Whoa, kinda prefer to be looking at Mo’Nique’s hairy pits. Thank you very much. That’s what I said. — Capps could be completely capable in 2010 and end up a donkeycorn. He’ll be on quite a few of my teams. After all, SAGNOF!

Octavio Dotel – Deal’s not nearly complete, but it looks like Dotel might end up as the Pirates closer. No reason why he can’t be successful in that role either.

Fernando Rodney – Signs with the Angels. This just clouds the Angels closer picture with Fuentes. Not that you need me to say it, but neither are a great option. I wouldn’t be surprised if Rodney ends up with more saves. Scioscia strikes me as a manager that would prefer to go with a righty. If I were drafting today, I’d probably get some grief since it’s Christmas Eve. I’d also draft both Rodney and Fuentes. This shituation may not be cleared up until April.

Coco Crisp – Signed with the A’s. Hey, first Melky’s traded then Coco Crisp signs. GMs are busy. That’s General Mills! Oofa! What? It’s Christmas. Cut me some slack. I’m willing to give Coco a pass on last year because he had some injuries, but he’s not even guaranteed time in Oakland. Even with an every day job, Crisp is barely a 5th outfielder.

Milton Bradley – All I’m going to say is Cubs, Rangers, Padres, A’s, Indians and Dodgers fans were all excited when they first got Milton Bradley on their team. Cut to a few months later, excitement waned. To double down on that point, the Cubs wanted to get rid of Bradley so bad, they took Carlos Silva. After the first big ‘bow Bradley drops on Dave Niehaus’s head all bets will be off. Can Bradley produce? Yeah, of course. If he wants to. That if is ginourmous. Safeco also won’t do him any favors. I’m going to ignore him in mixed leagues.

Brandon Morrow – In those aforementioned starter rankings, I showed some love for Morrow. I’m excited about his potential. His walks are pretty terrible, but his K-rate makes up for that. He also shares a health care provider with Harden. Morrow wants to start and the Blue Jays should let him. Leaving Safeco and the AL West doesn’t help Morrow’s value, but he should come as a bargain in 2010 drafts and he’s still worth the flier.

Brett Wallace – Went over Michael Taylor for fantasy in the Halladay trade. Then Stephen went over Wallace in his Blue Jays prospects post. I agree with Stephen. Wallace probably will start the year in the minors. If he starts 2010 in the majors, then I’ll be sure to put you on notice to grab him as a corner infidel.

Nick Johnson – To become a Yankee, Nick Johnson had to pass a physical. And he did! When healthy, Johnson will bat 2nd, pushing Granderson to a run-producing spot. Johnson, if healthy, can get on base and score a ton of runs, while contributing 20+ homers. A healthy Johnson could be a steal in fantasy drafts. But, as John Wayne Bobbitt might say, this Johnson hasn’t been healthy in years. BTW, this is Nick Johnson if he gets what he wants for Christmas. This is him if he doesn’t.

  1. Steve says:

    Nice work, Mr Albright – a great way to go into Christmas. I hope it’s a great one for you, Rudy and Razzballers everywhere.

    BTW, I just set up the Wii that Santa Claus got for our girls for Xmas, checked out the baseball and I’m already touching 95.

    And don’t think I won’t be afraid to brush them back, either.

  2. 101 M.P.H. says:

    Compliments of the season, Gray. And thanks for your excellent analysis in 2009.

  3. Antrim Warriors says:

    hahaha—geez…Nick Johnson.

  4. big o says:

    merry Christmas to all .

  5. big o says:

    A ‘s fans are angry .
    billy bin beane falling out of favor .
    coco CRIPS is what they’re calling the new guy
    with 2 broken shoulders .
    4.5 million ?
    would he have gotten 9 million
    if he had 2 bum knees , as well ??

    for me ,
    i’ll plead milton bradley as my 5th .

  6. 3rd Period Points says:

    I’d have Hughes and Chamberlain both pitch 3-4 innings every 5th day. There’s your 5th starter.

  7. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Daddy, can we play with our Christmas toy? Not right now, sweetie.

    Happy Holidays, Steve!

    @101 M.P.H.: Thanks!

    @big o: You too, O!

    @3rd Period Points: Which 3-4 innings? First, middle or last?

  8. big o says:

    what did delaware ?
    this year …. thermal underwear !!

  9. Grey

    Grey says:

    @big o: Currently preparing the feast of seven fishes, but only got 4 dishes. Why ain’t I in LA? Ah, wishes.

  10. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    So… Beane trades Carlos Gonzalez, Huston Street and Greg Smith for Matt Holliday. Then he trades Holliday for Brett Wallace. Then he trades Wallace for Michael Taylor.

    So he traded Huston Street, Greg Smith and CarGo for Michael Taylor.

    GENUIS ™!

    Merry Christmas everyone!

  11. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Yeah, I said similar in one these posts. Nice tm. Happy holidays to you and all the Hapsburgs!

  12. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:

    @Steve: Twitter is lit up with “Steve Trade to Toronto Nearing Completion”.

    95 was, indeed, an accurate description of his velocity. Apparently, the brush back location was too. When asked, “Do you think you will ever be able to find the plate?” he responded, “Sure. Dinner is my favorite meal.”

  13. royce! says:

    As a Padres fan, I’m not at all angry with Bradley…I blame Bud Black. For all he knew Bradley was gonna hug it out with Winters. To quote Grey, “as they said in China in the 1400s…”

    Anyhow, happy holidays to all. Tomorrow marks 100 days until Opening Day! No wonder why they celebrate it the world round!

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @royce!: Hehe… Happy holidays to you too!

  15. 3rd Period Points says:

    Ahh, Chamberhughes or Hughberlain, you ask? I say let them alternate between pitching the 1st and 2nd legs. Afterall, it takes a big man to start every 5th day knowing he almost certainly will not qualify for the win. It takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

  16. JCom says:

    Grey ive seen some funny things on this site but the happy to unhappy nick johnson pics just made my christmas..considering i was watching full metal jack the other night makes it even funnier

  17. Bristol says:

    Happy Holidays everyone!!

    Thanks for all that you do all year round. It is very much appreciated.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:

    @JCom: Glad you enjoyed, have a good holiday.

    @Bristol: No problem, happy holidays to you too.

  19. Basehead says:

    Speaking of relievers in that Rodney bit, I need one in the 14th round. I have Aardsma already but I need at least two more closers(4 RP slots here). Rodney? Capps(w/ Nats now!!1!)? Francisco? Nunez? Gonzalez is also another intriguing option here. He will get his save chances, compared to in ATL but he will be joining the AL (east).

  20. brett says:

    Happy Holidays, Razzballers!

    Took advantage of the punch and moonshine at my family gathering this evening. Will probably do the same tomorrow. Gotta love the Holidays.

  21. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: @All Razzballers Everyone

    Merry Chris,er…….happy Hannu…….um……………..Joyous Kwanz……….uhhhh……….


    No matter how ya say it, it’s all good!

  22. BigFatHippo says:

    A Hippo’s wish list……..dot dot dot…………..

    1. Peace

    2. A Matty Holliday under a Cardinal red tree.

    3. There is no #3.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:

    @brett: Happy holidays to you too!

    @BigFatHippo: Nice PC holiday greeting. Have a good one, Hippo!

  24. Steve says:

    @Grey: @Simply Fred: Just so you know, I’m off to see Dr James Andrews next week.

  25. big o says:

    zumaya-syndrome ?

  26. season beatings to all

  27. Hey Grey we all come to you for advise – where do the advice givers get their advise from – is there some secret sight setup for advise givers and you guys elect The King of Advise in – and all the advise givers go to him when they need advise

  28. big o says:

    wasn’t it zumaya who hit the DL
    ‘cuz of guitar hero ?

  29. big o says:

    may be wrong guy .
    may be wrong game .
    sometimes i don’t pay close attention .

  30. Grey

    Grey says:

    @mrbaseball: Happy holidays, Mr. B. We get advice from old episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. Need to know how to decipher it though.

    @big o: No, that was him.

  31. Steve says:

    @Grey: Too many curves and sliders (winks).

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Oh, you got Wii Elbow.

  33. Steve says:

    @Grey: Yeah. Not enough long toss.

  34. Simply Fred

    Simply Fred says:

    @Steve: You should be allowed back on WII in a RP role in 12-18 months. Maybe they have softball?

  35. big o says:

    @Simply Fred:
    can’t imagine that this mock
    would be better without you .

  36. big o says:

    i really like what the braves have done this off-season .
    given their financial constraints , they appear to be quite competitive ,
    without sacrificing their long-term player development plan .

    hudson won’t be able to replicate the stats and innings that
    vazquez put up last season (definately not the K ‘s) ,
    but shoring up the back end of the bullpen , with saito and wagner ,
    should , more than adequately “shorten” the games .

    agree with you …. a healthy glaus could easily put up 30 hrs … likely , more …. and maybe one year is all it will take for freeman to be ready (prolly needs 2 years) .

    and , the time melky “buys” fits in nicely with team plans for it’s young outfielders .
    not to down-play melky’s up-coming season .
    i’m of the opinion that if you can play in new york , you should be able to play anywhere ….. i look for an up-tick from him .

    it’s a helleva lot better than getting stuck with
    that coco CRIPS character !
    (all-the-while , b.f.hip dreams of a holliday holiday) .

    and , for sure , “LIFE AIN’T FAIR” , but ,
    i’m not buying into a salary cap , just yet .
    gotta hope the brave’s david can topple the goliaths in their division .

  37. @mrbaseball: Happy holidays, Mr. B. We get advice from old episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. Need to know how to decipher it though.

    Matthew Berry told me he used sequel series – Mayberry R.F.D.

  38. Grey

    Grey says:

    @big o: Don’t think they have a chance against the Phils or Mets, but I guess they could make an upset.

    @mrbaseball: Hehe

  39. pharmdriz says:

    @big o: The Braves’s GM Frank Wren had done a pretty good job this off-season. He might have jumped the gun with Wagner and Saito, but I can’t remember ever seeing a FA accept arb then ask to be traded, so I can give him a pass on that one. In theory, Glaus is a great signing, assuming the medical report was pristine and Glaus is gung-ho for playing 1B when Chipper isn’t on the DL. The GM can only be responsible for the moves he makes, not how the players play though, so Glaus may get hurt or suck it up something fierce and Wren will “look” like an idiot. As for the Javy trade, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. I’m just happy the Braves received a stud arm in the deal. Melky might even be okay until June when Heyward comes up. *fingers crossed*

    @Grey: The Mets? Really? It looks like Johan and pray the other team goes home? Their staff, as it stands now, is not very intimidating. Of course, they could go out and win 95 games for all I know. I just hope they do not. The Phils on the other hand…

  40. Grey

    Grey says:

    @pharmdriz: True, their staff isn’t great, but possibly Bay, and Beltran, Reyes and Wright are healthy, they’d more formidable than the Braves.

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